Damned if i dont, p.1
Damned if I Don't, page 1
part #2 of Damned Series
Damned if I don’t
ALSO BY Elizabeth Stevens
Damned Trilogy
Damned if I do
Damned if I don’t
Damned if I know
Grace Grayson Security
Chaos & the Geek
Hawk & the Lady
Loving the Sykes
Caden
Carter
ALSO BY Elizabeth Stevens
the Trouble with Hate is…
Accidentally Perfect
Being Not Good
Popped
Royal Misadventures
Now Presenting
Lady in Training
Three of a Kind
Some Proposal
Royally Unprepared
Royals in Dating
the Damned Trilogy: Book 2
Damned if I don’t
Elizabeth Stevens
Kinky Siren, an imprint of Sleeping Dragon Books
Damned if I don’t
by Elizabeth Stevens
Print ISBN: 978-1925928235
Digital ISBN: 978-1925928228
Cover art by: Izzie Duffield
Copyright 2020 Elizabeth Stevens
Worldwide Electronic & Digital Rights
Worldwide English Language Print Rights
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any form, including digital and electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the prior written consent of the Publisher, except for brief quotes for use in reviews. This book is a work of fiction. Characters, names, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
For Stephanie from LA,
For reading all my books and liking them so much I hear about it on the other side of the world.
You made my day
Contents
Wren
Drake
Wren
Drake
Wren
Drake
Wren
Drake
Wren
Drake
Wren
Drake
Wren
Drake
Wren
Drake
Wren
Drake
Wren
Drake
Wren
Damned if I don’t
Thanks
My Books
About the Author
Wren
To say being married to the son of Lucifer required an adjustment period would be an understatement. And, besides Harmony, my parents were probably the ones who were taking it the best.
“Does the tablecloth look too formal?” Mum asked as I walked into the dining room.
I focussed my eyes on her to see her smoothing over the tablecloth and glaring at it like it had betrayed her.
“For most meetings of the in-laws, ma’am, perhaps,” Truman answered her from his perch standing on one of the dining chairs. “But I assure you that his lordship won’t have any complaints.”
“He likes it formal?”
Truman nodded. “Yes, ma’am. He…enjoys any chance to dress up.”
“He doesn’t need it to be formal for that,” I commented dryly.
“Ma’am.” Truman bowed to me and I nodded back in greeting.
Mum looked at me with a smile. “Do you think Gran’s blue set or the white and gold?”
I shrugged. “I don’t think it will matter.”
“Okay. But if you were going to be helpful and work with me to get ready to meet your father-in-law, which one would you suggest?” her tone was chastising, but her smile was as cheeky as it ever got.
“Mum, I honestly have no idea,” I said, failing to hide my own smile.
“And what are you going to do when you and Drake have dinner parties?” she asked, folding her arms. “You’d best just stick with the one dinner setting. Hopefully you’re more helpful in picking it out for Gran than you are right now.” I didn’t say anything and she mistook my silence for there being another option. “Although, I suppose you will have Truman and the boys to help you.”
But I wasn’t thinking about how cool it was that I’d have beings to set up and organise any party I hosted from now on. I wasn’t wistfully thinking about what sort of pattern I wanted on my china, the traditional wedding gift from Gran. I wasn’t even wondering where the other two boys were or what on Earth they might be getting up to. I was having a sudden shiver of cold feet.
What the Heaven had I been thinking, literally tramping through Hell to demand to be with Drake? I was far too young for this. I wasn’t ready. Quite obviously demonstrated by the fact I couldn’t muster up a single shred of maturity to help Mum choose which dinner set to use for dinner with my father-in-law.
“True, ma’am,” Truman offered. “If Mistress Serenity so wishes, she will have the whole of Hell at her beck and call for party hosting.”
“Oh, well. It’s quite nice for some. Isn’t it?” Mum chuckled to him.
“There are some perks to the damned, ma’am.”
“Do these perks extend to in-laws?” Mum asked.
Truman inclined his head. “I’m sure it would be possible to arrange, ma’am.”
“Oh. That is quite nice.”
There was silence. I was still panicking. But I thought I was hiding it well.
“Wren?” Mum asked.
I blinked and huffed a ridiculously nervous laugh. “Yes?”
She frowned. “You okay?”
I nodded. “Fine,” I squeaked. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Fine. Fine. Why?”
“You just…spaced out for a while.” Mum paused as though she could determine my ‘okayness’ just by looking at me. Obviously, she decided it was not something to push hours before Lucifer arrived. “If you’re not going to be a help with the dinner set, can you check the oven please?”
I nodded. “Sure.”
Thankful to have a reason to at least somewhat satisfy my urge to run, I hurried to the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” I muttered to myself angrily.
I knew, without a doubt, I wasn’t backing out of this now. Drake was mine as I was his for eternity. I hadn’t bothered asking – which seemed a mistake in hindsight – but I doubted if there was any way to break that. I was pretty sure the whole ‘til death us do part’ bit didn’t count when one of you was immortal and resided in the afterlife.
Not that I actually wanted to back out, even if it was possible.
A girl was allowed a small freak out now and then, wasn’t she? I mean, I was allowed to panic about whether I’d rushed into being married before I even finished school. That was just sensible, wasn’t it?
My problem was that sensible had no place in my relationship with Drake. Everything about being with him worked differently than any human relationship would have. Time meant nothing to him, not the way it did to me. And, being with him, I could forget what my upbringing had instilled in me about timeframes and when was appropriate to do things. It all felt natural and normal and right. But without him, as I was just then, my human life came rushing back in and I started trying to second-guess everything.
After a few days together post-formalisation of our relationship, I came back to Earth to finish school. Sure, I could have put it off for longer, could have stayed with him for an immeasurable amount of time and still made it back in time for my exams. I probably could have just had Drake make it so I passed my exams however I wanted. But I’d just wanted to put that phase of my life behind me and it felt like a good ritual in which to do it. Plus, I wanted the accomplishment (or failure) to be entirely my own.
Harmony took full advantage of my marriage twice. We went to Hell to get some cramming in, essentially locking Drake out of our room so we could concentrate. Harmony had no problem telling me he was a distracting presence, and not just because he was bloody sexy but also our apparent sexual tension was hotter than Hell, literally. I had no problem with her telling me any of this; I both agreed with her and had no concerns she was even entertaining the notion of wanting him for herself.
So, Drake and I basically hadn’t seen each other at all since I’d left Hell after those few glorious days. I’d lived five weeks. He must have lived years.
I’d loved having time with my family and friends, but I was terrified that everything would have changed in that time. I was terrified that Drake had got over the ‘despondent missing me’ stage to the ‘used to my absence’ phase, through the ‘was I actually married?’ portion, and wouldn’t want me anymore.
It was a stark reminder of the fact there were two different sides to my life.
On one hand, I was the wife of Lucifer’s son. I was fearless and strong and knew exactly what I wanted. I’d literally walked through Hell with nothing but three devilbums and my love for Drake.
On the other, I was just another human in the world. Insignificant in the grand scheme, but still managing to do it all wrong anyway. I worried and didn’t know what I wanted and didn’t know how I’d even go about making everything work together if I did know what I wanted.
It was a mess and one I would be happy to be rid of as soon as Drake and Lucifer arrived later that night. Whether my husband still wanted me or not, at least I’d be able to put this restless uncertainty to…well, rest.
“How’s it looking, ma’am?”
I turned to smile at Truman. He’d been a huge help to Mum, happy to assist with cooking and housework and gardening. He seemed totally in his element and I didn’t think I’d ever seen him more content – to say Truman was happy might have been a gross overstatement.
“I…think it’s okay?” I said uncertainly.
Truman trotted over to the oven and peered in. “And how are you, ma’am?” he asked nonchalantly.
I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and nodded. “Good. Good. Fine.”
“Are you sure, ma’am?”
I cleared my throat and asked the question I’d been putting off. “You would have – like – heard…if they weren’t coming tonight, right?” I asked quickly, like ripping off a band-aid.
“Of course, ma’am. Messenger demon popped up this morning to confirm they were well on their way.”
I breathed a shaky sigh of semi-relief. I’d fully believe it when I saw him, but that was going to have to be enough for now. As though he could read my mind – although he’d assured me devilbums didn’t have that power – Truman turned and clasped his claws in front of him.
“Might I suggest a nice bath and a relax, ma’am?” he said. “Give you a pamper and you’ll be right as rain for tonight.”
I found myself smiling at him. “Thank you, Truman. That sounds…” I looked around. “You don’t need any help with anything?”
Truman’s red leathery face contorted into the devilbum equivalent of the eyebrow raise. “I think you’d be more useful relaxing, ma’am.”
I often appreciated his sassy straight-laced nature. Just then, I was on the fence about it, but only because it wasn’t usually aimed at me. “I’m choosing to take that positively.”
“A sound choice, ma’am.”
“Kyle helping,” he cooed as he hurried through the kitchen and into the dining room.
He was carrying a chair that was about two times bigger than him, dressed in his little apron. Ignacio appeared, much slower paced, carrying another chair. He spared me a nod on the way by.
“What is Mum doing?” I asked.
“Your father is polishing the furniture. Your mother felt it prudent to do as much of it in the garage as possible.”
I looked at him and he, again, seemed able to read my mind.
He nodded. “I offered, but she said we were doing this the human way. It was apparently also a good way to keep your father occupied and not messing up the house.”
That made sense. I nodded. “Right. Of course.”
Mum and Dad had taken the day off work – Tilly was finished uni for the year but told in no uncertain circumstances that she should stay out of the house or in her room – in order to get everything finalised for Lucifer’s arrival. My exams had finished earlier that week, so all I had stretching out in front of me was the whole rest of my life. As though that wasn’t thoroughly terrifying and incredibly exciting all at the same time.
As Kyle came trotting back into the room, Truman caught him.
“Kyle, can you assist Mistress Serenity this afternoon?”
Kyle looked between us, his bat ears flopping as his head moved. “Yup. Kyle help how?”
“Mistress Serenity is going to take a nice long bath and relax in preparation for tonight. I need you to take care of her and make sure she’s relaxing properly.”
Kyle spun around with his arms in the air. “Yes! Kyle do that.”
He grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the stairs.
“Relaxing, Kyle. Mistress Serenity needs to relax!” Truman called as Kyle and I headed upstairs.
“Yep. Yep. Yep!” Kyle called back.
Kyle got me into the bath, relaxingly warm but not too hot for the weather, and started waiting on me hand and foot. He ferried drinks in and out, snacks, books and magazines. I didn’t want or need all of it, but I was also loath to wipe the big goofy smile off his face. The little guy wasn’t usually super useful, and I knew he enjoyed the times he felt he was.
It wasn’t at all weird being naked in front of them anymore. None of them cared about what I looked like in any state of dress or undress. It had freaked Tilly out one time when Truman had wandered into the bathroom when she was in there once. But, since, the whole family had sort of just got used to them doing their thing regardless of what was going on.
Ignacio was still helping Dad out with things. It had taken a while, but we had taught him not to just attack anything and everything that gave us the slightest annoyance. Now, he looked at things for a while in order to deduce their actual danger factor before he attacked it teeth-first.
I was replying to a message from Harmony when I felt I was being watched. I looked out the corner of my eyes and found Kyle watching me. His claws were gripping the side of the bath and all I could see were his eyes, horns, and ears, but I knew he wore a wide smile. I had an idea of what he was thinking about.
“Yes, Kyle?” I asked, trying not to laugh at him.
“Harmony coming tonight?” he asked sheepishly.
I shook my head. “Sorry, buddy. Not tonight.”
His ears deflated and his eyes went all forlorn. “Oh.”
I rubbed his head. “But we might see her tomorrow?”
“Serenity see Drake tomorrow.”
I nodded and hoped I hadn’t given away the way my heart lurched. “I can do both, can’t I?”
There was this mischievous look in his eyes now. “Serenity and Drake will want alone time. Kyle could see Harmony.”
I chuckled. “Okay. How about I see what she’s doing and if she says it’s okay you can go and see her for a little bit while Drake and I are…” I didn’t need to finish that sentence. We both knew what Drake and I would be up to for Kyle to be not needed.
“Okay!” Kyle said happily.
As I was sending a message to Harmony about it, Truman wandered in.
“Ma’am, might I suggest it time to get dressed?” he asked.
I looked at him, then checked the time on my phone. “Shit, it’s later than I thought.”
“Still plenty of time, ma’am.”
“I need to wash my hair!” I cried, annoyed I hadn’t been keeping a proper eye on the time.
“Ma’am,” Truman chided.
I looked at him and sighed. “All right. Just this once.”
He gave what passed for a smile from him and nodded. “Wonderful.”
I jumped out of the bath and Kyle handed me a towel, exaggeratedly not looking at me until I was covered in the weird little way he had – no one cared about my nakedness, but he liked to go through the motions of pretending we did.
Truman trotted ahead into my room and Kyle and I followed.
“All right,” I said, resignedly. “Do your worst.”
Truman nodded and looked me over. There was the briefest flash of flames licking my body and then I was styled and dressed. I’d avoided making use of the boys’ powers as much as possible – there was something nice about doing all those things myself, a sense of accomplishment – but I wasn’t going to pass them up when it meant I’d be late otherwise.
I hurried downstairs and into the dining room. It looked amazing. Flowers in full bloom stood in vases around the room. The candelabras were polished and the candles flickering merrily. The table was set like I’d just walked onto the set of Downton Abbey. Plates and cutlery and glasses all sat perfectly aligned.
“Mum, this looks amazing,” I told her.
She looked up from the knife she was rearranging. “Oh, thank you, darling. Feeling better?”
I nodded. “I think so.”
Now it was so close, I actually thought I felt worse. My heart fluttered erratically and it was like I’d forgotten how to breathe properly. Only exacerbated when the doorbell rang and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“They’re here,” Mum said happily.
I nodded again.
“Well, aren’t you going to let them in? You must be dying to see him.”
“Oh. Yes!”
I hurried to the door and forced myself to take a deep breath.
