A tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

  Natalie clenched her fist, willing herself to stop. But another tear followed the first and before long, a steady stream trailed down her cheeks. The ship’s generator drowned out all other sounds and hopefully, the sobs she couldn’t manage to contain. She stood in the moonlight, letting her tears flow unchecked. Get it out, she told herself. Push out the pain and move on with life. She was alive for a reason and that reason was to help others. Otherwise, she might as well have died in the crash that killed Andrew and Emma.

  “Dr. Rhoades,” a deep voice said behind her.

  Natalie sucked in a sob and held her breath, unable to turn or answer.

  “Natalie?”

  The deep rich tone wrapped around her, filling the cold, lonely place she’d let herself slide into. Big, capable hands curled around her arms and turned her to face him.

  Jack Fischer stood before her, his blue eyes reflecting the moonlight, his brows furrowed. “Are you all right?” he asked.

  She opened her mouth to tell him that she was, but nothing came out. Instead, more tears flowed down her cheeks.

  In a flash, he pulled her into his arms and held her close. “Tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help.”

  She leaned her cheek against his chest, absorbing his warmth and strength. “No one can,” she whispered past the lump in her throat. “They’re gone forever.”

  Chapter Three

  ‡

  When Jack had arrived back at the Nightingale, Jean-David greeted him and threw him a line. Once on board, the deckhand told him the medical staff was having a meeting in the dining hall in the cabin. By the time he’d found his way to the dining area, the meeting had broken up. Hallie had been there, making a cup of tea. When she saw him, she immediately hugged him and said something about having another dance partner at the festival.

  Jack wasn’t sure what that was about. He just wanted to meet with Dr. Rhoades and let her know he would be coming to work on the Nightingale as head of security.

  Hallie told him he might find Dr. Rhoades in the storeroom or her stateroom. The storeroom turned out to be locked, and she hadn’t answered his knock on her stateroom door.

  Finally, he went up on deck, thinking she might be having a final chat with the skipper before they called it a night. He found her, not in the pilothouse but on the forward deck, her shoulders slumped and shaking.

  Not wanting to intrude, he stopped and listened for a moment. At the sound of a muffled sob, he’d moved forward, calling out her name.

  Now he stood with her wrapped in his arms. The take-charge doctor, melting with emotion. He gave her a moment or two, but when his shirt grew damp, he couldn’t take it any longer. As a SEAL, he preferred to charge in and slay the demons. He was a fixer, not a nurturer.

  “Hey, that was my favorite shirt.” Jack captured her face in both hands and turned it up to his. Moonlight glistened off her wet cheeks and made the teardrops caught in her eyelashes sparkle. Even with a wet face and red-rimmed eyes, she was beautiful.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I got your shirt wet. I don’t normally do this.”

  “I really don’t care about the shirt. And if you need a shoulder to cry on, have at it. But tell me why and maybe I can help.”

  She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter.” Her bottom lip trembled, and a huge teardrop slipped from the corner of her eye and rolled down her cheek.

  “Apparently, it does.” With his thumb, he wiped away the tear.

  “You shouldn’t see me this way.”

  “Why? Because someone might see this as a sign of weakness and take advantage of the beautiful Dr. Rhoades?” Before he could think his action through logically, he brushed his lips across her forehead.

  The doctor blinked up at him, her eyes wide. “Why did you do that?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. You looked like you need it.” And he did it again. “Someone needed to kiss your booboo and I’m not certain where it is. Rather than offend you, I chose the forehead. It’s the least controversial place I could kiss and not get slapped for doing so.” He raised his eyebrows in challenge. “You’re not going to slap me, are you?”

  She caught the trembling lip with her pearly white teeth and shook her head. “No. But you probably shouldn’t do that again.”

  “You’re right. It wouldn’t be right for me to kiss you when you’re my new boss.”

  “What?” She leaned back and frowned.

  He dropped his hands from her face and captured her around the waist to steady her on the deck. “You heard right. I’ve decided to take you up on your offer to work for the Nightingale. If you still want me.” His fingers tightened on her waist. “Do you still want me?”

  “I don’t know.” She stared up into his eyes, the tears having dried in her own. “You’d have to promise not to kiss me again.”

  Jack shook his head. “I can’t do that.”

  “Why?”

  “What if you want me to kiss you? I’d have to break my promise.”

  “I won’t,” she said, her gaze shifting to his lips.

  An action that belied her words. Hope crept into his thoughts. “Are you sure?”

  She sighed and leaned against him. “I’m not sure of anything, anymore.” For a moment, she remained pressed against his chest, then she pushed away and stepped out of his reach. Dr. Rhoades held out her hand. “Welcome aboard as the newest member of the Nightingale floating doctor boat.”

  He took her hand and shook it when he’d much rather pull her back into his arms and hold her there until she told him what made her cry. “Thank you.”

  “I’ll show you where you can stow your gear. You’ll have to bunk with Mac. We’re very limited on space, so I can’t give you a separate room.”

  “I’m used to bunking with others. Even as a deckhand aboard a yacht, I had to share a room with another guy.”

  “Well, good.” She started to go around him.

  He caught her hand. “Why were you crying, Natalie?” he asked softly.

  She stared at his hand holding hers and didn’t answer at first.

  After a full minute, he was about to let go when she spoke.

  “Tomorrow would have been my Emma’s fifth birthday.” Then she pulled her hand free and hurried by.

  Would have been. As in, Emma would never have that birthday. Her answer only generated more questions, but she didn’t slow down long enough to let him ask.

  She led him into the main cabin where he grabbed his bags and followed her down a narrow hallway with doors on either side. She stopped at one near the end and knocked.

  The man Jack remembered as Mac opened the door, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. “Hey, Dr. Rhoades, what’s up?”

  She stepped back.

  Mac’s gaze landed on Jack. Immediately, his eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?”

  “Mac,” Dr. Rhoades said, “Jack accepted the job. He’ll provide security to our staff on board the Nightingale and when we go ashore to set up our clinics. Because you have the only spare bed on board, you have a new roommate.”

  Mac opened his mouth to protest, and then clamped it shut without saying a word. With a glare aimed at Jack, he stepped aside.

  “I’ll leave you two to get to know each other. We leave for shore at seven tomorrow morning.” Dr. Rhoades turned and walked away.

  Jack’s gaze followed her until she disappeared into her own stateroom, noting its location.

  “Touch her and I’ll kill you,” Mac growled.

  At the threat, Jack turned to Mac. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me.” Mac entered the room ahead of Jack. “She’s one of the nicest, most sincere individuals you’ll ever meet. If you hurt her in any way, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

  “Message received.” Jack stashed his bags in a locker.

  Mac cleared clothes and books off the spare bed. “It’s all yours. The head is right across the hallway. Take quick showers as we all have to get one. We’re limited on the amount of fresh water we can use so daily stops to fill the tanks aren’t required.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” Jack dug in his duffle, unearthing his shaving kit from the top where he’d stashed it. He stepped across the hall and into the small bathroom equipped with a toilet and a shower. In less than five minutes, he showered the salt off his body and brushed his teeth.

  Back in the room with Mac, he lay across the bed, wearing shorts and nothing else. “So, what’s your story?” he asked Mac.

  “What story?”

  “Prior Army?” Jack asked.

  “Yeah. So?”

  “I recognized the military bearing. Were you a medic?”

  “Yeah.” Mac lay out on his bed and tucked his hands behind his head, still stiff, but seeming to bend slightly.

  Jack relaxed. Finding common ground helped establish rapport. Their military backgrounds gave them that common ground. “How many tours to the sandbox?”

  “One to Iraq, three to Afghanistan. I left the service after the last deployment to Afghanistan.”

  “Why?”

  “Got tired of watching my friends die. I wanted to go where I could do some good.”

  Jack turned on his side and propped himself up on his elbow. “How did you end up on the Nightingale?”

  “What is this, twenty questions?” Mac hit the light switch over his bunk.

  With the light still shining over Jack’s bunk, he could see Mac’s facial expressions. The man frowned and he glared at Jack’s light.

  “I was just curious.” Jack reached up and hit the off switch, plunging the room into pitch black. “Dr. Rhoades would inspire most anyone to work for her.”

  “Damn right. She’s got a heart of gold.” After a moment or two, he spoke again. “I met her when I volunteered for a trip to Africa with Doctors Without Borders. She did amazing things with those kids. But she never seemed to stay in one place. When her time was up, she gave me her phone number and told me to get in touch when I finished my time with DWB, that she had an idea she was working on.”

  “And this was her idea?”

  “Yeah. She’d already bought the boat and had hired someone to set up a nonprofit organization to collect money to fund the project. I helped her get the contacts to stock the medications and equipment we could afford and would need immediately.”

  “She’s one determined lady,” Jack observed.

  “You don’t know the half of it. When kids are involved she’s like a mama bear, willing to fight fiercely for their welfare.”

  Jack wanted to ask about Emma, but kept his mouth shut. He’d get her to tell him her story, given time. Something he might have little of. If the guerillas came after the floating doctors boat, his job aboard might end before he got all the answers he wanted.

  Natalie lay on her bed, her thoughts running in every direction, but coming back to one thing—Jack’s kiss. For such a nonsexual kiss, it had rekindled a longing she thought long past with the death of her husband and child.

  For the past four and a half years, she’d done everything in her power to keep moving. If she stopped for too long, she was reminded of how lonely life could be. Surrounded by her crew and people she cared about, she shouldn’t be lonely. But she was. Before she’d lost everything, she’d had it all. The perfect house in the right neighborhood, nestled in the mountains just north of Denver.

  Natalie had married Andrew straight out of college and they both attended the same medical school. When they’d finished, they’d secured internships at the same hospital and months later, she’d gotten pregnant. She finished up her internship and had her baby a few days later. Her whole life had seemed to be on a set course, everything falling into place as if it had been calculated down to the day and hour. Until fate placed them next to an eighteen-wheeler that tragic day.

  Her well-ordered life crashed and burned like the car she’d been riding in. Now she was thousands of miles and several years away from that event and thinking about another man, not her dead husband. What was it about Jack that made her want something she had told herself she’d never have again? Held in his arms, she’d felt secure, cared for and protected. Part of her craved more of the same. The other part valued her independence far too much to allow herself to become dependent again on someone for her happiness.

  As she thought more about Jack, she realized she really knew nothing about him. Who was he, where did he come from? What were his credentials? She’d been very selective of the people who’d applied for the positions on her boat. She’d done background checks and screened them thoroughly.

  So, why had she been so adamant about hiring Jack without any of that? She could have unwittingly brought a pirate or a serial killer on board the Nightingale and placed her entire team at risk.

  Natalie sat up straight in bed, her pulse pounding. She couldn’t go to sleep thinking she might have sabotaged her own crew. Throwing back her sheets, she swung her feet to the floor and stood. She opened the door to her stateroom and peered out into the hallway. What could she do? If she marched down to his room, what would she say?

  “Natalie, are you having trouble sleeping?”

  The voice next to her made her jump. She pressed a hand to her chest and spun to face Ronnie. “You scared the crap out of me.”

  “Sorry. You looked confused. I hear you hired Jack.”

  “I did, but then I realized I don’t know anything about him.” Her gaze shifted to the door at the end of the hallway.

  “Having second thoughts?”

  Natalie nodded.

  “If it helps, my gut says he can be trusted.”

  Natalie smiled. “And your gut is always right.”

  “I’ve avoided many storms because of my gut.” She laid a hand on Natalie’s shoulder. “He seemed to be a good guy.”

  Natalie nodded. “My gut tells me the same. But if I’m wrong, who gets hurt?”

  “Trust your instincts. Over the past couple of years, you’ve led this motley crew well.”

  “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.” She touched Ronnie’s arm.

  “Go to bed. I can sleep with one ear open and keep an eye on our friend Jack.”

  “You have to work all day tomorrow.”

  Ronnie grinned. “I can catch some winks after you and the medical team go ashore.”

  “If you’re sure…” Natalie hesitated, still feeling as if she should march down the hallway and demand to know Jack’s intentions. But if he were out to destroy them, he wouldn’t tell them. He’d lie and slice their throats in the middle of the night.

  “Go to bed, doctor.” Ronnie turned her around and aimed her toward her stateroom.

  Natalie entered and closed the door behind her. Everything would be all right. It had to be. Despite her misgivings, she fell into a deep sleep and, for the first time in four years, didn’t have a single nightmare about the crash.

  When she woke, daylight streamed through the porthole. She sat up straight in her bed and checked her clock. It was already past the time she normally woke. If she didn’t hurry, she’d be late. Hopping out of bed, she landed on bare feet and ran for her closet, pulling out a fresh set of scrubs.

  A knock sounded at her door.

  “Coming!” she called out and jerked open the door.

  Jack Fischer leaned against the doorframe, a sexy smile curling his lips. “The skiff is loaded except for the most important thing.”

  “Oh, yeah?” she said, pulling her hair up by the handful. “What’s that?” She dropped a strand and cursed.

  “You. Here, let me do that.” He reached for a brush on the built-in dresser. “Turn.”

  She complied and he worked the brush through the tangles until all were smoothed away, then he pulled it up into a ponytail. “I’ll take that band.”

  Handing him the elastic band she kept on her wrist, she waited while he expertly applied it to her hair, securing it in the back at the nape of her neck. “Thank you.” She hugged her scrubs to her chest. “If you don’t mind, it will only take me a moment.” Pushing him through the door, she shut it in his face and leaned against it, her pulse pounding and her breath lodged in her chest.

  Jack Fischer was too much man, muscle and sexiness for that early in the morning. He’d caught her off guard and made her want to drag him into her bed. Her mind conjured an image of them lying naked in her bed, rocking the boat.

  Holy crap! Where had that thought come from? He was her employee, not a potential sex partner.

  In less than twenty seconds, she’d stripped off the T-shirt and shorts she’d worn to bed, clipped on a bra and pulled her scrubs over her head. Pants went on next and socks and shoes. Fully dressed and ready to go, Natalie grabbed her bag and jerked the door open.

  “I’ll take that.” Jack grabbed her bag and shoved a fat biscuit in her hand. “Eat.” He handed her a cup of coffee. “You can drink on your way to the boat.”

  “I can wait to eat when I get back.”

  “That will be at the end of the day, and you won’t last that long if you don’t eat now.”

  The biscuit and coffee smelled so good, she couldn’t decide which to try first. “I’ve gone all day without food just fine.”

  “You serve the people better if you follow your own advice and fuel your body.”

  “True.” She took a bit of the biscuit and moaned as she chewed and swallowed. “You didn’t tell me it was full of eggs and cheese.”

  “You were too busy arguing for me to get a word in edgewise. Are you always this disagreeable in the morning?”

  Natalie frowned. “I’m not disagreeable, and I’m always on time.”

  “Except this morning? Must be the company you keep.”

  “Definitely.” Giving him a challenging look, she bit into the biscuit again, loving every delicious bite. She had to admit, she’d gotten lax about eating breakfast, and lunch was usually hit or miss—more miss than hit, as busy as they were. There always seemed to be more patients than they had time for and Natalie hated to turn away a single one. Thank goodness Mac was so good about triaging the badly injured or sick and letting her see them first.

 

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