Rebel without a claus, p.12
Christmas with the Variety Girls, page 12
He took hold of her upper arm, her hand, and guided as she stepped down onto the floor. She twirled out and away from him as she had done so many times before, sweeping a low curtsey, and he stood back to let her take the applause. The people around them cleared away to give them the spotlight and, before Johnny knew what was happening, she was dragging him onto the dance floor. He smiled through gritted teeth.
‘Dance for us, Ruby!’ someone called from the balcony. The pair of them looked up. He saw Mickey waving. Ruby blew him a kiss. There were more calls, louder now. Johnny stared at Mickey, who was holding onto the gold balustrade, grinning back at him. What was his game? Ruby twisted and called to the band, ‘“Anything Goes”.’ Johnny gripped her hand.
‘No, Ruby. Not now, you’re too drunk.’
Ruby leant into him as the band started to play.
‘Only a teensy-weensy bit, Johnny, darling. I can do this in my sleep and you know it.’ There was nothing he could do but follow the music and dance to the routine they knew so well. Ruby was right, she could dance this in her sleep, but she faltered, wobbled and hammed it up, making her mistakes appear intended. The crowd loved her for it. When they’d finished, the applause was deafening and Johnny saw his chance. He swept her up into his arms and carried her up the stairs, knowing how much Ruby would enjoy the spectacle of it. She waved and blew kisses and he managed to smile as they made their way through the club towards the entrance. He stopped a waiter and asked him to fetch her bag and bring it to them at the door.
‘I’m not going home, Johnny. It’s far too early to leave.’ She tried to wriggle free but he gripped her tighter until they got to the door. The doorman hailed a taxi and Johnny bundled Ruby into it, leaning back to avoid her flailing arms. The waiter arrived with her coat and bag and he tipped him then got into the car beside her.
‘You spoil all my fun!’ She slapped at his arm.
‘That was so damned unprofessional.’ He could barely speak. He’d spent half the night wandering in and out of her usual haunts in search of her. It was getting harder, but it seemed there were plenty of people who were going to party the war away – and Ruby was always able to find them.
‘It was wonderful! We’re meant to dance, aren’t we? Entertain. It’s our life. It’s all we have left.’ Her voice faltered and she brushed at her cheeks with the back of her hand. He took the handkerchief from his breast pocket and held it out to her. She snatched it from him, leant into the window, sulking, and he stared ahead as the taxi drove slowly down the darkened streets, the emptiness of life gnawing at his insides. Ruby was right: if they didn’t have dance, they had nothing at all.
In the morning he left her sleeping and went out to meet the ten thirty at Waterloo. The station was a sea of khaki as men poured down the concourse, kitbags on their shoulders. He needed to be in uniform too. The quicker he got Ruby settled, the better. Porters weaved through the crowds, shouting, calling, their trolleys stacked with cases. He searched the board for the Bournemouth train and hurried down the platform, stood back to let a family pass and then slipped between the swarming mass as they surged forward. He craned his neck this way and that over people’s heads, peering into carriages until he saw a blue velvet hat with an extravagant peacock’s feather fastened in the band around it. The eye of the feather shimmered and glistened as it caught the light. A young airman was helping the wearer of the hat with a voluminous carpet bag. As he moved aside, Johnny caught sight of Aunt Letty, who was oblivious to her nephew, giving profuse thanks and further instruction to the airman. Johnny grinned. What a charmer the old girl was! He watched her, talking the whole time, the boy’s face animated as he responded, smiling broadly. It would do him good to be the object of such attention, for Aunt Letty had a way of making anyone feel they were the most precious being on this earth. Johnny walked towards them and her face glowed when she saw him.
‘Aunt Letty.’ He held out his hand and she took it. The airman placed her bag at her feet.
‘Lovely to meet you, young man – and remember what I told you.’
‘I will,’ he called, hurrying down the platform to join his comrades.
Aunt Letty brushed at the shoulders of her dark blue suit. It was belted at the waist, which was almost as wide as her generous bosom.
‘Johnny, my sweet boy. How tired you look.’
‘That wasn’t the welcome I was expecting.’ He took her bag.
‘Come now,’ she smiled. ‘You haven’t asked me here to pay compliments, have you? For you’ll get none.’
He laughed. She bent her arm at the elbow and he linked his through it. ‘You must tell me all about America.’ She paused. ‘After you have told me about Ruby.’
He offered to hail a taxi but she opted to walk. ‘I’d rather walk and talk. Ruby will be all ears and I want to know what the little minx has been up to.’
Johnny suddenly felt able to breathe deeply, taking the air into his lungs and letting it go again. Aunt Letty wouldn’t pander to Ruby, who was the nearest thing to Mother they would ever have, and who still possessed the softness their mother had lost when their father died. He had forgotten.
They strolled over Waterloo Bridge in the sunshine, Aunt Letty stopping as they went, leaning over, watching the boats slide underneath them. ‘Good to see familiar sights,’ she said. ‘Like old friends. You can see so much from the bridge. On the streets it’s all hustle and bustle, but here you have a bit of clarity.’ They started walking again and he felt lighter, less troubled being with her, enjoying the slower pace as they talked. His thoughts slowly strengthened, along with his spirit.
‘I’m so glad you agreed to come, Aunt Letty. I’m at a loss how best to help Ruby. She was distraught when Mother died and I didn’t handle it very well.’
‘Well, she would be, wouldn’t she? A girl away from her mother, so far from home? But that’s not your fault. You had work to do and I doubt anything you might have done would have helped.’ He pulled her closer, adjusted the bag in his other hand. That was exactly how it had felt.
‘I tried sympathy, cajoling, anger, threats. Nothing seemed to help.’ He could do it, so why couldn’t she? He had compartmentalised it, put it to one side to do the work, but it didn’t mean that he felt the loss any less. ‘It’s not that I didn’t care.’
She stopped, turned to face him and looked into his eyes. He felt as if she could see inside his head. People hurried around them and the traffic spat out fumes. ‘You don’t have to explain to me, Johnny.’ She rubbed at his arm and it was comforting. He touched her hand. How lonely he’d been these last few years … They started walking again.
‘We were so excited to get the chance, Aunt Letty. America! The big time. Mother was thrilled. When we sailed across the Atlantic I thought it was the beginning of everything. But it was mostly a disappointment.’
‘Dream fulfilment is a disappointment in general, I find. Nothing ever matches up to the dream.’ They turned onto the Strand and a little further along she stopped outside The Savoy and Letty read the poster on the board out front. ‘Opening soon.’ She turned to Johnny. ‘Positive news, my boy. The quicker you both get back to work, the better.’
As they walked along he told his aunt of the night at the Café de Paris. ‘I’m not sure it’s the dancing that she lives for, more the attention.’ It was awful talking about his sister like this, but it was what he thought. He knew Aunt Letty would understand.
‘But of course it is. It’s all she’s ever known. And it’s a way of proving to herself that she exists.’ She moved her head to indicate the Lyons Corner House. ‘Shall we go in there? You can treat me to a bite to eat and we can talk some more. Will Ruby be all right on her own a little longer?’ She was smiling as she said it, and he knew that she was well aware that Ruby would still be sleeping off the effects of the night before.
‘I have to get her away, Aunt Letty, before she …’
‘Before she what? Gets worse? Causes a scandal? Gets pregnant? Kills herself?’ He looked at her and she raised an eyebrow. She smiled gently. ‘Perhaps you have things you don’t feel able to tell me. Well, I can guess. Ruby will tell me if she wants to.’
He stepped ahead, opened the door into the tea rooms and found a table. He pulled out a chair for Aunt Letty to sit down and tucked her bag underneath the table. The Nippies, as the waitresses were called, weren’t called so for nothing and a petite blonde took their order and soon returned with a tray bearing tea and scones. Aunt Letty picked up the teapot and reached out for his cup. He handed it over.
‘Now, America. Start at the beginning.’
He told her how they had arrived, wide-eyed. It was hard to tell who was more excited – Ruby or their mother. Ruby was eighteen, the world was opening up for her, but to Alice it was the culmination of her plans. Although their father, Bruce Randolph, had been a headliner in England, he had never been able to conquer America. Alice was determined that Johnny and Ruby would. They had travelled from state to state; small theatres, large ones, half-empty houses and standing-room only. Alice had set up newspaper and radio interviews wherever they went, wangled invitations to the house parties of the great and good, haggled for spots further up the bill, more pay, a percentage of the box office. There had been no time to think, no time for romance, no time for anything but what their mother laid out for them. Day after day life was a blur of rehearsals, performances and meetings. That’s all there was.
‘No time to play?’ Aunt Letty spread a generous amount of butter on her scone, took a bite.
He splashed a little milk in his tea. ‘Never has been, Aunt Letty. Not much, anyway.’ He thought of Frances, the dancer he had fallen in love with in the last show they’d appeared in before they sailed for America. They had kept their love a secret, knowing Alice would disapprove because it wasn’t part of her plan. He wondered where Frances was now.
‘Your mother was a strong woman, Johnny. Determined,’ Aunt Letty said, interrupting his thoughts. ‘But she didn’t start out that way. She was much like Ruby until she met your father.’ She touched at the corner of her mouth with her napkin. ‘She loved the glamour of his life, the after-show parties, the travelling, mixing with people of power and influence.’ She was quiet for a moment, considering her words. ‘He left her in a parlous state when he died.’ Johnny nodded, remembering. He’d found her once, sprawled out on the bed, crying, her empty purse open in her hand, a few coins on the counterpane. It must have been frightening, a woman alone with two children.
‘She did her best,’ he said. ‘She wanted a better life for us. What mother wouldn’t?’
‘I agree, my boy.’ She finished her scone. ‘Personally, I think she went too far, but who am I to judge?’
He wanted to agree with his aunt, but it felt disloyal. ‘She should have told us she was ill,’ he offered. ‘That she was dying.’
‘She should.’ Aunt Letty was thoughtful. ‘More tea?’
He shook his head. ‘I wouldn’t have signed the contract if I’d known. We would have come home.’
Aunt Letty gave him a sad smile. ‘That’s exactly why she didn’t tell you. She died knowing she had done her best by you. You were her life.’
‘Her entire life,’ Johnny agreed. ‘It’s not a good thing though, is it? To set your sights on success to the point where there’s nothing else.’ The emptiness of his life gnawed at him again.
‘It’s not, darling boy. Indeed, it is not.’
By the time they arrived at the flat he’d given Aunt Letty a full description of Ruby’s behaviour, both in America and since they had arrived back home. Only it wasn’t home, was it? He didn’t feel they belonged anywhere, and he could understand that Ruby would be feeling the same, more so; for she had loved to go home to Mother, sought the security of her forgiveness when she’d misbehaved.
Johnny opened the door and stood back to let Aunt Letty enter. She strode into the middle of the sitting room, looking about her as she did so, taking in the furniture, the lighting, the oak fire surround, the gas fire. She walked over to the window, rubbed at the cloth of the curtains, peered down into the street.
He placed her bag on the chair by the door, waiting for her verdict.
‘Very nice,’ she kept looking about her. ‘Very nice indeed. Pleasant.’ She drew the pin from her hat, which she took off and placed on the small table at the side of the easy chair. ‘You rented it furnished?’
‘For a year. I got an agency to sort it for us before we arrived back in England so that we didn’t have to live out of a suitcase. We’ve done enough of that.’ It had been the perfect find, but now he only saw the downsides; it was too close to The Savoy, to the clubs. Now that there was nothing to keep Ruby busy, what had seemed like heaven was now a hell. He slipped off his jacket and draped it over the back of the chintz armchair. ‘Can I get you a drink, Aunt Letty?’
She shook her head. Her long grey hair was curled into a neat bun at the back of her head and he was fleetingly reminded of his mother. He looked up as the bedroom door opened and Ruby shuffled out, bleary-eyed, rubbing at her face with her hand. Her hair was a complete mess and she padded forward, oblivious to her surroundings. Last night so glamorous, today this. That was show business for you.
She yawned, opening her mouth wide.
‘Hand to mouth, Ruby. You weren’t born on a farm. Manners.’
Ruby froze on the spot and looked across to where Aunt Letty was standing, selecting books from the shelves beside the fireplace.
‘Aunt Letty!’ Her face crumpled. Aunt Letty opened her arms wide and Ruby ran into them. Their aunt enfolded her, her bosom a cushion for Ruby’s head. When Aunt Letty deemed that Ruby had been comforted enough, she grasped her niece’s hands and held her away from her, her eyes reflecting sadness, not disappointment.
‘My dear, darling girl, what have you been doing to yourself? You’ve lost too much weight and it doesn’t become you.’ She touched Ruby’s cheek and Ruby grasped at her hand. ‘Dull eyes, dull skin. This will never do, Ruby Randolph! We need to take you in hand.’
Ruby fell into her embrace again and started to cry, little sobs that were the beginnings of a torrent. Aunt Letty consoled her, leading her to the small sofa that faced the fire, peeled her off and sat her down. She lifted Ruby’s legs and made her lie on the sofa, plumping the cushions. ‘Now then, madam. You’re going to behave yourself while I’m here, aren’t you?’
‘You’re going to stay?’ Ruby flashed Johnny a grateful smile.
‘For a few days. Yes.’ Aunt Letty looked at Johnny – he obviously hadn’t told Ruby, who would have asked too many questions of him. Aunt Letty rolled up her sleeves. ‘I’m going to make you something nourishing for—’ She broke off and pursed her lips. ‘Your breakfast, although it’s well after lunch.’ Ruby was about to protest but Aunt Letty stilled her with the flat of her hand. ‘Now, now! I know the ways of the theatre as well as you do, young lady, but you’re not working in the theatre at the moment and this is no time to be getting out of bed. Dearie me, it’s not!’ She smiled and it gave her face such luminosity that Johnny could almost swear she was an angel. He felt his shoulders relax and he stretched his neck from side to side, releasing a little of the tension that had built up these past months. Ruby would be safe with Aunt Letty. He could leave her for a few days, knowing that she would still be in one piece when he got back.
Aunt Letty bustled into the kitchen and he followed her. She began opening cupboards and drawers, familiarising herself with the contents, took eggs from the refrigerator, then milk, sniffed it, rummaged for butter. ‘Scrambled eggs on toast. Can you get some bread, Johnny boy?’
He leant over and kissed her cheek. ‘I will get you anything your heart desires.’ He jangled his hand in his pocket for change. ‘Thank you, Aunt Letty.’
She cracked an egg into a bowl, reached for another. ‘Off with you.’
Ruby had gone into the bedroom and pulled on her silk dressing gown before brushing her hair and wiping her face with cold cream. She came back out into the sitting room as Johnny came out of the kitchen. Aunt Letty was right, he thought. Ruby’s skin and her eyes were dull – and so was Ruby herself, inside and out. Oh, she was good at faking her smile. They had been doing it most of their lives, after all, but Aunt Letty had sliced through to the truth like a knife and Ruby was the better for it. His sister wouldn’t take it from him, they were too close, and he felt he couldn’t save her without making a huge change. Aunt Letty would give him the time he needed. Bernie had suggested he come look at an investment and possible venue for a show, way out on the east coast at the end of the train line. Ruby wouldn’t like it – but then she never liked what was good for her. If it all worked out as he hoped, they would have a good income because he planned to put on a revue and rehearse an understudy to take his place. Ruby would have work; she would have focus and she would get well. Eventually. But it wasn’t fair to burden Aunt Letty for more than a few days. It was good of her to come at all. He made for the door and Ruby hurried to him, standing on tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
‘Thank you.’
He smiled. ‘For what?’
‘Aunt Letty. It’s like having a little piece of Mother with us.’ Her voice was soft, sad, and the bitter-sweetness of their aunt’s being there lay heavy in her words. He pressed her shoulder, gave it a squeeze.
‘I’ll be back in two ticks. Behave yourself.’
‘I daren’t not.’ It was the first time in weeks they’d shared a civil word and he closed the door behind him, a spring in his step, raced down the stairs and out into the street.
He could smell the food cooking as he dashed back upstairs, the loaf balanced on top of a white box tied with a black and cream ribbon. He’d picked up a couple of cakes from the patisserie as a treat. Ruby was setting the table, the bathroom door was open and he could hear the bath running, the smell of perfumed oil mingling with the smell of eggs. She turned, smiled and it all seemed so normal that he hoped he wasn’t being too optimistic. Aunt Letty could only stay a few days before she had to return to Uncle Jim and her work with the WVS. Would Ruby then resort to her earlier habits? He had to hope she wouldn’t. And with any luck they would be away from temptation before she could do more damage to herself.
