A tiny house on wheels, p.15
A Tiny House on Wheels, page 15
Nina busied herself with making tea and planning a meal with the new ingredients now piled up on her table. Maybe a vegetable roast? Or just a veggie omelette? She could serve it with Jay’s hot sauce, which had turned out to be amazing and not actually as hot as she’d feared. It had a lot of flavour and was great just sprinkled on top of anything. Nina started mindlessly chopping capsicum. It was getting darker outside.
“So, you don’t mind not doing the whole falling in love, getting married thing?”
La La looked out the window. She twined her dragon tattooed arms around each other – one dragon disappearing under another in a tight embrace.
“I just know it’s not going to happen. Not like that. The men I fall for, they don’t want babies. So I have to do the baby thing myself. Then one day, when the child is older, I’ll fall in love again. And it won’t bother me that he doesn’t want babies because I’ll already have one. And they’ll be able to see that I’m not a desperate 40-year-old woman trying to get pregnant in my last hour of fertility.”
This all made sense in the warped way that La La always did. Nina thought about the kind of men La La had dated. The description was fairly accurate. She couldn’t imagine any of them wanting a family. Some already had families, all had high-flying careers. As crazy as La La’s plan sounded, maybe it was the best of many poor alternatives.
“But will the child have a relationship with their father? Will they know who he is?”
“You can choose either way. This guy is happy to be part of our life and I think it’s easier. I don’t want to make up some stupid story for the kid. Or like... wait until they’re 10 and suddenly turn their world upside down. It’s a lot easier if they know from the beginning. Lots of kids don’t live with their dad, they just visit.”
Nina made a note of how La La talked about “our life,” like she was already pregnant. It must have been nice to have that level of confidence. She couldn’t even muster enough confidence in her ability to find someone – anyone – to have a baby with. Let alone trust that she could fall pregnant on a tight schedule.
“It’s cool he wants to be part of the kid’s life. I thought sperm donors where anonymous.”
“Yeah, some are. But I chose this guy because he wasn’t. And because of all the other stuff.”
There was that dreamy look again. Nina had to admit, her friend had the magical air of someone who was taking charge of their own life and forging their own way. She wasn’t idly waiting for something to happen. And wasn’t that exactly what Nina herself was doing with Adam? In theory, at least. All she had to do was to shake off this silly crush on Jay and forge ahead with the plan.
Chapter Seven
NINA approached Jay’s door, buzzing with excitement. The glass bottle samples she had ordered from China had finally arrived, and she had printed out mock-up labels to test out how they looked. She had her favourite – a gorgeous, tall and streamlined bottle that showcased both the sauce and the labels beautifully. But it was Jay’s decision.
Over the last couple of weeks, Jay and her had fallen into a nice, familiar routine of emails and meetings, planning the labels as well as the upcoming markets and other sales opportunities, setting up a website, ordering business cards and other bits and bobs. It was easy to work with Jay. He trusted her expertise. He was fairly decisive and willing to spend money on what mattered. And Nina tried her best to save his money anywhere she could. She’d organised the best deals with the printers and spent many nights googling for the right bottle supplier in China. It was risky to order straight from the manufacturer, but the potential savings were huge.
Every time they met, Nina felt the rush of adrenaline. Being around Jay was like a drug she needed, even though it was all platonic. They had slotted perfectly in their roles as a designer and a client. Gone was the awkwardness. There were no more long silences and Nina had discovered Jay was actually a lot of fun to talk to. Just like Nina, he was interested in a wide variety of topics and enjoyed exploring them from different viewpoints. With the work on the table, it was easy to discuss anything and everything that even slightly touched the initial subject. Jay might not have wanted children, or a relationship beyond what they had, but he was a good friend. And for now, Nina was content with that.
Nina knocked on the door and waited. She could tell he was home as his muddy gumboots stood by the door. Chloe barked and Nina could hear Jay’s footsteps approaching the door. He let her in and they sat at the kitchen table. It had become their office.
Jay’s house had a hunting cabin feel to it. It felt sturdy and bare, like one of those remote Airbnb houses Nina had stayed when she first toured New Zealand. Except this one didn’t have a random selection of expired canned goods left behind by other travellers. Jay had a proper kitchen and comfortable chairs. Otherwise, the decor was tired and mismatched, as if he couldn’t care less. Nina suspected he didn’t.
Nina pulled the bottle samples from her bag and arranged them on the dining table. Jay looked at them in awe, turning each one around, bringing it close to his face and pulling it further away, like simulating a customer walking past it in the shop. This was the first time he was seeing the finished product – the bottle, sauce and the label all working together. Nina had filled the bottles with the actual sauce to create realistic mockups.
“They look so real,” Jay remarked.
Nina smiled. That was the point.
“So, which one do you think...?”
Nina held her breath. She wanted him to pick the right one. She wasn’t sure why it mattered so much. She could always try to talk him into picking her favourite. It was just so much better if he saw the difference. So far, Jay had showed a keen eye for design. He couldn’t draw or create anything, but he could tell the difference between something that worked and something that didn’t – a quality only the best clients possessed. Nina waited.
“I sense there is only one right answer,” Jay said with slight amusement.
Nina broke into laughter. She was putting way too much weight on this. She had to relax.
“You’re right,” she admitted, “I have my favourite. I just wanted to see if you agreed.”
Jay looked at her and slowly circled his hand around the bottles. Without even looking at them, he picked one, the right one, and displayed it to Nina with barely controlled glee.
“This one!”
Had he done a blind draw? He seemed so sure of himself. Nina nodded.
“Yes, but why?”
Jay assumed a look of sharp concentration, with a hint of a smile. It was so cute Nina wanted to kiss him.
“Because ... it makes it look like there’s more sauce. Or... because it shows the label better?”
Nina wouldn’t have worded it exactly like that, but it was along the lines of what she had thought herself. She was impressed.
“Wow. I have nothing left to teach you,” she said.
“Don’t say that, Mr Miyagi, I can’t do this without you!”
It was so much fun to work with Jay that Nina was almost scared of finishing the project. What would happen when the sauce was in the shops and he didn’t need her anymore? It still felt like a long way away, considering how hard it was to get into either of the two supermarket chains that seemed to operate like a cartel. But they had nearly finished the design, and that meant fewer meetings, fewer emails, less contact. She would have to shift her focus back to her garden and finally learn to grow her own food. With a start, Nina realised she didn’t really care about gardening. She enjoyed this. Design, ideas, collaboration ... it had turned out the dream of living off the land wasn’t really her dream at all. She liked it on paper, it sounded good to be self-sufficient and work outside in the sun. But it wasn’t what she enjoyed.
Once they’d decided on the bottle, Nina went over the finances with Jay. They were spending more on the labels but a lot less on the bottles and were overall well within the original budget. They talked about the next steps, the Christmas markets and producing content for the website. Nina wanted to get high quality photos of Jay’s chillies, and Jay himself. He seemed uncomfortable with the latter, but agreed that it might be a good idea.
After they’d gone through the agenda, Nina packed up her things and moved to the door. Jay didn’t usually walk her out, but this time, he followed. His eyes had the familiar hint of a smile, but also softness Nina hadn’t seen before – like he was looking at an old photograph of something, or someone he remembered with fondness. It wasn’t much, but to Nina, it felt significant. She kept her eyes firmly locked with his, lapping up the strange intimacy she wanted so badly, even if she knew it would never work. Something about Jay just seized her, making it hard to think straight.
Jay shifted, looking like he had something to say, but the words refused to materialise. Then he suddenly raised his hand and ran it through Nina’s hair, sending shivers through her whole body. She fought the urge to close her eyes. His hand moved slowly and gently and finally pulled away, holding a piece of something wilted and green. Nina recognised it as spinach – something she had put in her morning smoothie. Had that thing been hanging in her hair all day? A flush of embarrassment made Nina erupt in giggles. Jay smiled and flicked away the leaf. It landed on his doormat.
“Wait! I was saving that for dinner!” Nina laughed.
“Sorry,” Jay countered, “I can give you something fresher if you’d like?”
Nina sighed. She wanted to just step in and kiss him, but it felt like she’d have to climb over a wall to get there. He was so close, yet so far away.
Besides, they weren’t interested in the same things anyway, Nina reminded herself. She wanted to have a family. She couldn’t build her future on a nice working relationship or physical attraction that could easily be one-sided. She had already made this mistake with Tama; she knew how it would end. She had rein in her silly, fluttering heart.
Nina took a breath and ran her hands through her hair to check for other smoothie ingredients. All good.
“I better get going,” she said.
Jay nodded. Nina waved her hand and walked away, down the hill to her tiny house. At times, it felt like the longest walk in the world.
◇◇◇
A trickle of sweat ran down Jay’s spine. He had agreed to help his mum by turning a new veggie patch behind her house. She wanted to grow some exotic flowers and plants he had never heard of. If it was for carrots, he would have said no. There was no point in her growing a few of her own when she could have as many as she liked from him – from a business she was a part owner of, anyway. Not that his mum accepted much in terms of food. She insisted on picking them herself, always choosing the most deformed and wilted looking produce she could find, so that “nothing would go to waste.” But Mum was Mum that was fine. Jay’s frustration arose from somewhere else.
It had been a month, and he had gotten nowhere with Nina. Technically, he had had plenty of opportunities. They met regularly. At least once a week he delivered the veggie box. And she had come over many times to discuss the business plans, drop off print-outs – ’proofs’ she called them – and make decisions about the next steps. Her work impressed him. His little homemade product suddenly looked like one of the legitimate hot sauces in the supermarket.
Jay trusted Nina to make all the decisions, order the stock and organise the production line. She seemed keen and did so much research online Jay was sure she was spending more hours she would admit. Was she doing it for him or was she just so excited about the business? Surely, bottling and selling some sauce was not that thrilling. Part of him wanted to believe Nina enjoyed his company. But even if she did, could he just go for it?
Jay had finally seen the doctor and was waiting on the results of his biopsy. It felt like the longest wait of his life. It wasn’t just about his health. He was waiting to find out if he had anything to offer. Was he a healthy, single guy or a sad, sick one? Even if Nina didn’t mind the sickness – even if she was happy to be with him – he would always wonder if it was out of pity. Molly had stayed with him out of pity. Only for a few weeks, to avoid breaking up too close to his father’s death he presumed. But realising that had stung Jay to his very core.
Jay sunk his shovel into the dense, packed topsoil, channeling his anger and frustration into the ground. It had always been the best way for him to deal with complicated emotions. He could have brought the tractor and finished the job in twenty minutes, but he needed to wield the shovel. Mum hadn’t asked why, which Jay was grateful for, but he also suspected she knew. He’d been like this his whole life. After a bad breakup, Mum always had her firewood chopped for months ahead and every gruelling, physical task taken care of.
Mum had casually asked how it was going with Nina, and whether the sauces would be ready for the Christmas markets. She didn’t drop even the tiniest hint about their relationship being anything but professional, yet Jay noticed himself acting defensive. He could tell Mum was being extra careful. She hadn’t even mention his health since their last conversation. It was hard to stay mad at her. She did everything out of love, even the annoying things. So, Jay had told her about the biopsy, emphasising the likelihood of it being just a simple cyst. Mum had given him a hug so tight she may have bruised him.
After an hour of sweating and probably burning his neck in the sun, Jay was ready to cover up the nicely dug up patch with a black tarp – to kill all the weed seeds in the intensifying spring heat. As he took the roll of tarp, Jay heard an engine turning off and a car door slamming. He instantly knew it was Tyron. Even his footsteps sounded arrogant. Jay pretended not to hear and carried on with his job. Within a conversation distance, Tyron cleared his throat.
“Jay, my man! What are you doing with a shovel? Did you sell the tractor?”
He sounded genuinely concerned. One less thing he could turn into collateral for his startup investment?
“Yeah, IRD came knocking. Had to sell the lot.”
Jay waited to turn around. Once Tyron saw his face, he’d know Jay was bluffing. But he wanted to see a glimpse of his panic. And there it was, a little flicker behind those dark, sharp eyes.
“Oh fuck me,” Tyron exhaled. “For a moment I thought you’d really...”
“No. Pissing money down the drain, that’s your thing.”
Tyron assumed a look of tired superiority.
“For your information, I’ve made a decent profit in the last quarter.”
Jay blinked. “Funny. Mum didn’t mention you paying her any dividends.”
“It’s not the right time to take money out. She knows that.” Tyron shifted.
“Really?” Jay held his gaze, enjoying the tiny hint of guilt behind his brother’s eyes.
“It’s complicated.”
As infuriating as this sounded, it wasn’t actually half as bad as their last exchange. Tyron had pointed out that Jay knew nothing about investing and had told him to ’stick to his fucking cucumbers’. Jay suspected there was a reason he was holding back. Tyron wanted something.
“I actually came down here ask if you’d like in on it. Our stock is going up like crazy, and with the cryptos picking up at the end of the year, you can easily quadruple your money in two months.”
Jay stared at his brother, quietly fuming.
Tyron continued. “Look, I know you didn’t like me selling my share of the farm. I didn’t like doing it either. But it was the only way. And now we’re in a great position. This thing is finally taking off.”
Tyron dug up graphs and figures from his phone. They all showed growth – that’s as much as Jay could tell. He saw a flash of a new website, selling some kind of investment product, promising generous returns.
“With the housing market turning, there are loads of investors looking for new opportunities, better yield, less work, lower running costs. We’re right on the verge of a breakthrough.”
He seemed genuinely excited. Jay looked at his brother, suddenly remembering a summer when they were in middle school. Tyron had started a lemonade business with him and two other friends. It was just fresh lemonade, sold from a simple cart at the side of the village hall. They didn’t have proper permits, but Tyron was young and charming and people kind of tolerated their presence. It was a hot summer and lemonade went down a charm. Tyron had driven the little business with gusto. He had made them work so hard that by the end of the summer, they’d each had enough money to buy mountain bikes. Tyron had taken the largest share and gotten a fancier bike, but then again, it was his idea. He was the self-appointed CEO.
Even if Tyron was now right about the money, the whole thing bothered Jay to no end. Going into business with him felt like endorsing his lifestyle, the heartbroken women he left behind – and Nina. Somehow it all came back to Nina. That he had got to her first, chatted her up, said all the right things, before Jay had gotten anywhere. And ruined it all for him. Knowing Tyron had been there first was usually enough to put Jay off. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t made a move. Maybe on some level, he couldn’t go for Tyron’s rejects, even if it was someone he really, really liked. This realisation made Jay feel better about his relationship with Nina, even if he wasn’t being fully honest.
Jay could sense Tyron studying his face, trying to read him. Was there a hint of interest or not?
“You don’t have to decide right now. I’ll email you the proposal with all the numbers. Have someone you trust look over them with you.”
Bill the surf instructor? Gary the guitarist? Tyron probably relied on Jay having nobody like that within a 10-mile radius.
“So, what’s new with you?” Tyron tried, “Mum said you’re going into the sauce business?”
“Just making some hot sauce for the Christmas markets.”
Jay tried to sound non-committal.
“She said you’ve done branding and everything. It doesn’t sound like a small deal.”
