Time pirate, p.14
Time Pirate, page 14
But that wasn’t where I was meeting Emily. I was a little farther away from the meeting point than before, so I headed toward the White House, or the Presidential Mansion as Emily still called it. Before I stepped away, though, I marked my place on the ground by digging a large X into the soft grass with the toe of my shoe, just in case I needed to get back to this exact spot. Then I made my way to the cherry tree behind it, where Emily and I had agreed to meet.
It was very early in the morning, so it was still dark, which was good, because I was wearing modern clothes. There were some people milling around the pre-dawn streets, on foot and on horseback, so I decided to pick up my pace and jog to the back of the mansion. I couldn’t risk being stopped and detained by an excitable soldier, not when Emily was waiting on me. I managed to make it most of the way, but as I approached the meeting spot, I noticed something strange.
Emily was there, but there were also two other people. I slowed my pace as my mind raced with possibilities. The first one was that Emily had set me up, and these people were here to arrest me or something, but I dismissed the idea. Emily wouldn’t do that to me, I just knew. As I drew closer, I realized I recognized the two people as the men I’d encountered the first time I’d met Emily, and that this wasn’t a friendly interaction. Emily looked upset, and I could see her gesturing angrily at the two men, so I picked up my pace to join her.
“Emily!” I called out.
The pretty blonde woman turned to me with a relieved look on her face, while the two men turned and glared at me.
“Francis,” Emily cried out. “Help me!”
Chapter 8
I closed the distance between Emily and me, and when I reached her, she threw her arms around me. The pretty blonde woman was wearing a dark green, traditional dress for the time. Her blonde hair was also mostly covered by a plain white bonnet, but pale wisps still managed to escape and frame her pretty face.
“Wait until I tell your father about this,” one of the men said.
I turned and recognized him as Richard, the tall redhead who was harassing Emily during our first meeting.
“Tell him what?” I challenged the asshole as I released Emily and turned to him with my full height.
“Tell him what a whore his daughter is,” Richard sneered.
Before I even realized what I was doing, I pulled a fist back and slammed it into Richard’s face. I heard Emily gasp behind me while Richard’s chubby blond friend, Abraham, rushed to help his friend.
“Francis,” Emily said in a strangled voice as she clutched at my elbow.
“Sorry.” I turned back to face her while I shook my hand out. Richard had a hard head, so it left a sting on my knuckles when I slammed them against his face. Then I noticed Emily had a troubled look on her face, so I held her by the elbows and gazed into her blue eyes. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”
Emily shook her head no, but her eyes widened as she glanced over my shoulder, so I spun around to see Abraham coming for me.
“Oh, I’m sorry, are you feeling left out?” I taunted as I squared my feet.
“How dare you!” Abraham snarled as he plodded toward me with his fists swinging.
Behind him, Richard had his head tipped back to stem the steady flow of blood that was dripping from his nose.
Abraham attempted to swing a fist at me, but it was almost too easy to block. I lifted an arm and parried away the throw easily, but Abraham kept coming at me. He was almost a head shorter than me, and his puffy face was already red with exertion.
“Calm down, killer,” I said sarcastically as I took a step backward and leaned my head back. I felt the weak wind from Abraham’s punch on my face. His body turned with the force of his swing, so I placed my two hands against his side and pushed, and the chubby guy lost his balance and fell on the ground with a plop.
Emily giggled behind me, but Richard glowered at me as he continued to pinch his nose. He rushed to his friend’s side on the ground, linked an arm under Abraham’s armpit, and hauled his chubby friend to his feet again. Then the lanky redhead turned back to me and raised his fists in front of his body in a way that made it clear no one had ever taught this loser how to fight.
Or maybe men in general didn’t know how to fight in this time period.
“Come on,” Richard goaded as he shook his fists at me. His face was pale and stained with blood, but he had a wild look in his eyes.
I’d seen that look before, especially in people who didn’t know how to fight. They thought their sheer craziness could carry them through a scrape, and sometimes, they were right. Usually, the crazy ones who won the fight were aided by some extra chemical components in their bloodstream. Richard probably hadn’t smoked any crack lately, so I was confident that my trained fighting would beat his crazy fighting any day of the week.
“You sure, Dick?” I asked the redhead with a lifted eyebrow.
“Unless you take orders from your whore!” Richard sneered as he shot a contemptuous look at Emily behind me.
“Welp, you shouldn’t have said that,” I sighed and shook my head. I rocked back and put my weight on my back leg before I lifted my right leg and swung it hard in a roundhouse kick to Richard’s chest.
The lanky redhead went flying backward as he exhaled a loud grunt. He landed hard on his back, and I could hear him gasping for breath.
“What on God’s green earth was that?” Abraham screamed as he looked at me with fright-filled eyes. Then he slowly backed away from me as he leaned down to tend to Richard, who was still struggling to get his breath back.
“Wow,” Emily breathed, and I turned to see the pretty blonde woman looking at me with a face full of wonder. She lowered her voice and leaned her head toward mine. “Is this some form of oriental fighting?”
“Something like that.” I chuckled.
Emily continued to look up at me with her sparkling blue eyes, and I got lost in them for a second until I heard the sound of shuffling behind me.
Before I could turn around to see what was happening, I felt a weight slam into my back, and the momentum of the force propelled me forward until I landed on the ground. I twisted my body as I fell so I didn’t land right on my face, and I could tell by the weight on my back that it was Abraham who had launched himself at me. I reacted out of instinct and muscle memory from my MMA training, and I instantly bridged the weight off and rolled over so the chubby dude couldn’t take control of my back, not like he’d know what to do if he could anyway.
Once I was facing the chubby blond, he tried to wiggle away, but I grabbed his coat collar and wrapped my legs around Abraham’s wide waist.
“W-What in the devil…” Abraham stuttered as his eyes went wide.
Once I got a good grip around his waist, I threw his weight to the side with my legs, and as he fell, I rolled up so I was on top of him. Then I started pummeling my fists into his doughy body. Abraham grunted with each strike, and he barely had the wherewithal to fight back, apart from some weak thrashing.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands on my shoulder, and I twisted my head to see Richard trying to pull me off his friend.
“Oh, you’re back for more.” I quickly ducked away from Richard’s grasp while I rolled off Abraham, who was left wheezing on the ground. Then I shot to my feet and squared up to Richard, who came at me with a fury in his eyes.
“The devil is in you,” Richard spat through gritted teeth as he cocked a fist back.
“Yeah, okay, buddy,” I snorted before I dodged his punch and then slammed an uppercut into his stomach.
Richard doubled over in pain and clutched at his stomach with gasping breaths as Emily ran to my side. She grabbed my arm, pushed it down to my side, and forced me to take a step back from the two men.
“That’s enough, Francis,” Emily said in a firm tone, and I looked between the two injured men, who were both still gasping for breath.
“Fine, but they had it coming.” I shrugged.
“I won’t argue with that,” Emily said with a small grin.
“I’ll get my revenge,” Richard gasped as he glared up at me and wiped a dribble of blood from his mouth. Then he reached down and pulled Abraham to his feet once again. “Mark my words.”
Once the two men were standing upright again and glaring at me, I took a fast step toward them like I was going to attack.
“Aaaaaah!” they cried out in unison as they jumped away from me. Then they glanced at each other, spun on their heels, and hightailed it away from Emily and me.
Emily and I shared a look before we both burst into laughter. Emily clutched at my arm as she tried to get her breath back, and eventually our laughter died down, but she continued to hold my arm.
“Thank you,” Emily said sincerely as she looked up at me with eyes that were brimmed with tears from her laughter. “Truly. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up when you did.”
“It’s no problem,” I said with a shake of my head. “I’d never let anyone hurt you. What were they saying to you anyway?”
“Richard was, just, ugh,” Emily said as she rolled her eyes.
“Courting you again?” I asked, and I tried to temper my anger so Emily didn’t think it was directed at her, because it certainly wasn’t.
That redheaded prick better not cross my path again, though.
“With more vigor than usual,” Emily said as her face twisted into a disgusted look.
“Well, if they give you any more trouble at all, you let me know,” I said. “I’ll sort them right out.”
“And how will you do that?” Emily asked as she tipped her head back and let out a throaty laugh. “If you’re two hundred years and more in the future.”
“I’ll always come back for you,” I replied with a grin.
We shared a look until Emily cleared her throat and looked away with a pink tinge in her cheeks.
“Yes, well, we should probably move along considering you’re dressed like that,” the pretty blonde woman said as she eyed my modern clothes.
“Yeah, sorry.” I cringed. “It might be hard for me to change before I come here, since, you know, I’d look like a weirdo if I wore your clothes in my time.”
“Weirdo,” Emily repeated with a smile. “I like this word.”
“That’s because you’re a weirdo,” I said affectionately.
“No, you’re the weirdo,” Emily fired back, and then she started pulling me by the arm toward her house. All the while, she repeated the word a few times with a grin. “Weird-o, weird-o.”
“I have so much to teach you,” I chuckled.
“I take it you figured out your fancy pocket watch, then?” Emily asked conversationally as we walked.
The sky was lightening up by the moment, and soon the sky would be high in the pale blue sky.
“Not really,” I admitted with a laugh, and I glanced around to make sure no one was watching us. My modern clothes were getting more obvious by the second, but luckily there wasn’t anyone close enough to be bothered.
“Well, as long as it got you back to me,” Emily said as she gazed up at me with her sparkling blue eyes.
“I’ll always figure that out,” I said in a reassuring tone.
We strode away from the cherry tree behind the Presidential Mansion and toward Emily’s street. As we drew nearer to her street, I started to smell the fumes from the cesspit. I tried not to make a face, but the smell was so overwhelming that I couldn’t help it.
Emily noticed my discomfort, and she made a sympathetic face.
“Sorry.” She cringed.
“Oh, no, please don’t apologize,” I said as I waved her words away. “I’ll get used to it.”
“How does it work where you’re from?” Emily asked as we drew further down the street, and the smell grew stronger.
“It’s a lot more efficient,” I said, and I tried to breathe through my mouth as much as possible to keep the smell away from my nose. But then I thought of all the poo particles I’d be breathing in through my mouth, and I cringed and switched between inhaling short breaths through my nose and my mouth.
“How so?” Emily pressed, and I got the feeling she was trying to distract me from the smell more than anything else.
“Well, we don’t use bedpans anymore,” I explained. “We have little rooms inside our house that everyone can use.”
“Everyone?” Emily asked in an incredulous tone.
“Everyone,” I confirmed with a nod. “And, well, they’re called toilets, and they don’t move. They’re connected to the ground, and they have these pipes that run through your house and transport the waste far, far away.”
I tried to explain the modern marvel that is indoor plumbing in as simple terms as I could, since I didn’t want to confuse the poor woman.
“The pipes go through your house?” Emily asked, and she made a face.
“Well, like, under your house,” I explained.
“Oh,” Emily said, and I could see the pretty blonde woman was trying to wrap her head around the concept.
Luckily, we were almost at Emily’s home, and the sound of Branson clopping his hooves on the ground was enough distraction for both of us.
“Hey, buddy,” Emily cooed as we approached the house.
Tall, thick trees surrounded the back of the house and acted like a privacy fence between Emily’s house and the Presidential Mansion, which wasn’t too far behind the trees.
Branson’s head was just visible at the side of the house, as the horse appeared to be tied to a fence in the backyard. The glow of the sun through the treetops was enough for me to make out the silhouette of the horse.
Branson whinnied as we approached him, and after he’d greeted Emily enthusiastically, he turned his long nose to me and nudged it into my neck. He took a few loud sniffs, then exhaled loudly and nuzzled my face gently.
“Aww, hey Branson.” I smiled affectionately as I patted his long neck. Then I glanced around the back of Emily’s house to see that it was mostly set up for the horse, with a small, single-door stable.
Emily slipped past Branson into the gated backyard, disappeared for a moment, and returned with something in her hand. She gestured for me to hold out my hand, so I did, and she dropped a few sugar cubes in my palm.
“He’ll be your best friend forever if you give him a few of those,” Emily informed me.
“Here, boy,” I said to Branson as I held my palm out flat with a sugar cube on top.
Branson sniffed his loud sniffs, and then he slurped up his sugar cube and gave me an affectionate, but wet, kiss on my hand.
“See,” Emily giggled.
We spent a few more minutes with Branson, giving him treats and pets, until Emily bade him goodbye and gestured for me to follow her into the house.
Although I’d only been inside her house once, the space felt instantly familiar to me, and it just radiated Emily energy. The blonde woman busied herself lighting all of the lanterns in the room, since the trees in the backyard obscured the sunlight from coming in through the windows. Emily also pushed one of the windows open before she glanced at me and pulled it shut again.
I grinned as I realized she was being considerate of the smell that would waft in from the cesspit nearby.
Once she was finished, she turned to me and looked me up and down.
“We need to get you another change of clothes,” Emily said.
“Are you trying to tell me something about my fashion sense?” I asked in a teasing tone.
“Don’t worry, it’s great, it’s just ahead of its time,” Emily replied with a grin.
“Haaaa,” I snorted.
“Though, I must admit, these are unique,” Emily said as she zeroed in on my jeans. She crossed the room and bent down so she could get a better look at them, and then she reached a hand out tentatively and looked up at me. “May I touch them?”
“Ummm, sure,” I said, and I held my breath as the pretty blonde woman reached a hand out and tugged at the fabric that my thigh was encased in. I tried not to focus on how close she was to my crotch, and I instead focused on her curiosity. “Jeans haven’t been invented yet, I guess.”
“Jeans,” Emily repeated in that adorable way she did when I introduced her to a new word. Her eyebrows knitted together as she tugged at the thickly woven fabric with both hands. “No, I’ve never seen such a thing. These are popular in your time?”
“Oh, yeah, like, super popular,” I said as I nodded enthusiastically. “Like, I’m talking everyone wears them. Men, women, kids, everyone.”
“Women?” Emily asked in surprise as she released the fabric and stood to her full height. “Wearing pants? Are you being facetious?”
“Not at all,” I assured her. “It’s very common for women in modern times to wear jeans and other pants in general.”
“I can’t believe it!” Emily gasped as she studied my jeans with new appreciation.
“Believe it,” I said with a chuckle. “People aren’t as, you know, worried about things like that.”
“So, women don’t wear dresses at all in the future?” Emily asked with her head cocked in confusion.
“Oh, they do,” I clarified. “Women can wear whatever they want, really. So can men. There are no laws or rules or anything like that.”
“I wish to see this phenomenon with my own eyes,” Emily said excitedly. “Women wearing what they want without any regard to how the men around her might feel about it.”
“Oh, man,” I said with a shake of my head. “You just wait until you see what fashion has become. Your mind will be blown by like, goth, or punk fashion or something like that.”
“Goth,” Emily repeated slowly. “Punk. I don’t know these words.”
“No, you wouldn’t.” I chuckled as I pictured Emily’s face if she encountered a goth in modern times.
“Well, what do they mean?” Emily asked with a frown.
“Umm, it’s kind of hard to explain.” I furrowed my brow. “Goths are like… sad people, kind of. They wear a lot of black. Punks, too, but maybe with some spikes or something.”
“Spikes?” Emily asked incredulously. “On their clothes? Surely not.”
