I took quick, careful steps to stand over the man, since I wasn’t sure what type of projectile I’d even be firing. If it was something crazy, I didn’t want that shit to be ricocheting right at me.

  “Help!” the man barked weakly toward the closed door. He blinked rapidly up at me as he fumbled for his own weapon. It was the same as the one I was holding, which was unfortunate for him, because the lengthy gun wasn’t something that was easy to maneuver when you’re scrabbling around on the ground. “Who the fuck are you? I’m warning–”

  Before he could finish his sentence or get a grip on his weapon, I took aim at his chest and fired.

  I had about a millisecond to note that the trigger felt odd under my finger. Then a streaming, sizzling, glowing green jet blasted out from the nozzle-like end of my weapon. It punched clean through the man’s chest, and I had a brief glimpse of his empty ribcage and a gaping hole in the steel floor below him before the opening was flooded with hot green goo.

  Silence fell.

  “Ho… ly… shit…” Lu breathed. She scrambled toward the man and reached for the matching gun that was cradled against his chest now. “And I get one, too! Fuck yeah!”

  I exhaled slowly. I had a strong instinct against allowing this weapon to fall into her chaotic hands, but then again, it would be even more dangerous for her not to have one at this point.

  “Be careful with that shit,” I commanded in a low voice.

  She actually tore her eyes away from the weapon for long enough to look at me and nod.

  Barely.

  “I’m not gonna test this out again here,” I said, “but I’m pretty sure these are like fucking water jet guns. Well, uhh, toxic goop jets. So if you hold the trigger down, it just keeps coming.”

  I had seen water jet guns in action back on Earth. There had been enough force in those pumps to slice through steel in half a heartbeat, and this seemed to have a similar mechanism, except for the fact that it shot out hot green acid instead of water.

  It would also explain the way the trigger had felt, like there was no ‘catch’ to it.

  And now the beer growler-sized canister with its odd humming sound made more sense, too. There was probably some type of crazy, high-tech, compact pump running inside the canister.

  And apparently a heater of sorts, too.

  “So,” I said as I searched the dead man’s body while carefully avoiding the oozing green pit of his chest. “A rifle that shoots pressurized, superheated green liquid. Interesting.”

  “Yeah,” Lu murmured, and she paused to hover her hand over the dead man’s gaping chest. “It’s still hot, even now. Why d’you think…?”

  “Presumably to make it more deadly somehow,” I said with a shrug. “Maybe that stuff is only acidic when it’s hot. Or maybe it’s even to thin out the consistency, so it fires better. I dunno. Let’s get moving. I’m surprised no one has barged in here yet.”

  “They’re probably too busy hunting people in the capsules,” Lu said. “Hey, what’re those?”

  Her pink eyes widened as she stared at the tennis ball-sized, hardshell cases I’d snatched from the bodies and was now shoving into my pockets.

  “Nothing you need to worry about,” I said briskly.

  Judging by their size and the fact that they were slightly cold to the touch, I’d guess that these little pods contained more of the jelly-grenades we had recently encountered.

  But there was no way in hell I was letting Lu get her hands on one of these.

  The memory of her stretching her fingers out toward the grenades back in the pink store slipped back into my mind. My fingers tightened around the last capsule for a brief moment before I shoved it into my pocket.

  Lu’s eyebrows shot up, but then she shrugged to herself and did an about-face toward the door. The prospect of fresh people to kill clearly had top priority in her mind.

  “Shall we?” she asked primly.

  I eased open the door, peered out, and then carefully stepped out of the small, circular room.

  Outside the drainage room, the main tower seemed to consist of one big chamber. A big stone staircase spiraled up its walls. Sets of double doors dotted the walls at random intervals, and their round shape told me they probably let out to the capsules.

  Other than the entrance, the only other door on the ground floor was rectangular. I darted over to it and pressed my ear against it. Silence.

  “Watch my back,” I commanded Lu.

  Everything seemed silent beyond the door, and I didn’t hear any of the weird buzzing that had insulated the capsule we’d spied on before.

  I cautiously cracked the door open and peeked inside.

  The light leaking in from the tower behind me revealed something that looked like a storage closet.

  I pushed it open further and saw shelves stacked with all types of supplies. Among them were whole heaps of the chained manacles we had seen the Unit men slap onto their prisoners.

  “Let’s barricade all the capsule doors except one,” I said over my shoulder. “We’ll take these bastards room by room.”

  “How’ll we barricade them?” she asked.

  I pulled one chain off the top of the heap and hefted it in my hand.

  “This ought to do nicely,” I said.

  There was a bucket of keys on one of the shelves, and I promptly plucked two out of it, shoved a pair of manacles together, and tested a key out on them.

  “Idiots,” I muttered as the manacles sprang open.

  I glanced around at the doors. There were seven sets of double doors in total, and since we were going to barricade all but one door, I pulled seven of the manacles out and tossed three of them to Lu.

  We split up and flitted around the hallway to secure the door handles with the manacles.

  I pressed my ear up against the first one beforehand and heard the same soft buzzing I’d heard from outside the capsule the other night. Then there was a muted bang, and a scream that sounded distant and distorted.

  I wrapped the manacles tight around the door handles and locked them, and I sent Lu up to work her way down from the top.

  When we were done, I chose the bottommost door and pressed my ear against it. Then I cracked the door open and listened.

  The sound of jeering laughter still sounded distant, but less muffled and buzzy.

  I glanced over my shoulder as Lu came trotting back down the stairs. Her pink eyes gleamed eagerly, and I nodded my head as I gestured for her to follow me.

  “Don’t use your giggles unless you really need them,” I said in a hushed whisper. “We don’t know how many people are in here.”

  The hallway was about a dozen feet long, and I crept down it quietly as I gazed into the gloom ahead.

  Like the capsule we had scouted on our last visit, this chamber had to be at least a hundred feet in diameter on the inside. But there were no scattered boulders or boxes here. Instead, it was like someone had taken a whole chunk of the inner city and transplanted it here, from the stone streets to the twisted, looming buildings.

  If I weren’t able to glimpse the walls down at the end of the streets, I would’ve sworn we’d just walked right into the city itself. There were even flickering neon signs and street lights being slowly throttled by glowing plants.

  It seemed entirely silent now, but I kept my jet gun raised as I crept down the street.

  At the first building, I moved my head just enough to peer around the corner with one eye. There was one of the swaggering, sneering unit men standing on the road. I spotted the backplate of some type of armor he was wearing, and he had a helmet on his head with a panel that protected the back of his neck. The man seemed to be wielding a bow and arrow.

  Well, arrows, plural. The bastard had about eight of them nocked and drawn as he aimed down the makeshift street.

  “Release!” he bellowed.

  A guillotine door on one of the buildings slammed open, and a cluster of gaunt, hobbling people limped out. They looked around with gasps of relief, and I got the impression they’d just been released from a long imprisonment.

  Then their watery eyes focused on the man with the bow.

  Hoarse cries of fear echoed out from their throats. They turned back toward the building, but it was too late. The guillotine door slammed shut in their faces.

  “Run!” one of them croaked.

  The Unit man let out a harsh laugh. “Yes, run, you little rats! More fun for me.”

  The people scattered. The Unit man waited a few moments and then released the bowstring with a sharp twang.

  The arrows leaped into the air. But they didn’t follow any sort of typical flight pattern. Instead, they parted and zipped in separate directions like they were moving of their own accord.

  I watched in disbelief as they all turned a sharp corner and hurtled after the runners. There was a clatter and a screech of pain as an arrow apparently found its mark, and by the sound of it, the others were soon to follow.

  I scoured my eyes over the portion of the fake city that I could see. There were plenty of narrow alleyways, street posts, signs, and even doors and windows. I knew the latter two probably didn’t function, otherwise the runners would have somewhere to hide.

  “C’mon, Heathy,” Lu whispered in my ear. “Let’s get him. I can’t even understand what he’s saying, and I can tell he’s a dumbfuck with a power complex.”

  “Can you sense your own kind so easily?” I sent her a broad grin and received a sharp flick to the nose for it.

  “Rude, Heathy,” the blonde woman tutted.

  “We don’t want any of those arrows to hit us,” I breathed as I looked back at the scene.

  “I can sense ’em coming if you let me echolocate,” she hissed.

  I nodded. “Right. I’ll take this bastard and steal his armor. Giggle all you need to, but as soon as you take down another Unit asshole, take his armor, too. Just in case.”

  Her pink eyes flared faintly as she nodded. Then she turned and flitted off into the darkness.

  I slipped the barrel of my new rifle around the corner and braced it against my shoulder, then centered the Unit man in the scope.

  I was tempted to see how well his backplate would hold up against this crazy, acid-shooting gun, but I needed the armor for myself. So I took careful aim at the junction of his arm and pulled the trigger.

  Glowing green slime jetted from my gun’s nozzle with a sharp hiss. I kept my finger steady on the trigger as I nudged the gun’s barrel quickly up and down.

  Even at a distance of a few dozen feet, the jet of acid sheared cleanly through the man’s whole fucking arm.

  He let out a chilling scream as his limb dropped to the ground, and he staggered to his knees. I wanted that helmet for myself, too, so I took quick aim at the side of his neck and pulled the trigger again with the lightest twitch of my finger.

  A glob of acid punched into the man’s throat, and his scream cut off abruptly.

  It was promptly replaced by the sounds of screams from the next street over, so I knew Lu was in action.

  I rushed over to the dead man, ripped the helmet from his head, and stuffed it onto my own as soon as I confirmed no acid had splashed onto it. Then I loosened the straps on his breastplate to their maximum extent and tugged it off him.

  Even with the straps loosened all the way, it was still a strain to get the breastplate on my body. There were bigger gaps around my sides than there would’ve been on an average-sized person, but it should do a decent job of keeping an arrow from punching through my chest or back.

  I watched closely for airborne missiles as I rounded another corner, but there was nothing.

  Then one of the guillotine doors shot open.

  Four unit assholes came pouring out, and I guessed they must’ve sheltered there after hearing the sounds of screams. One of them had their bow raised and three arrows nocked, but I traced a gleaming green path through the air with my gun and mowed all of those fuckers down within two seconds.

  The bow was too unpredictable of a weapon for me to use effectively when I didn’t understand it, so I settled for snapping the arrows in half to avoid them being used against me. They shattered crisply under my super strength, and their electronic innards went scattering everywhere. Then I did the same for the bow.

  I cleared the next three streets in quick succession. Then I followed the sound of crazed giggling to the next street over.

  It was interspersed with men’s grunts and groans of pain. I rounded the corner cautiously and saw four Unit bastards sprawled on the ground next to the wreckage of their bows and arrows. The fourth man was gripping a stocky pistol in his hand as he scanned his eyes over the top of the building.

  Then I spotted Lu perched up there.

  She was wearing the upper body armor like I had commanded, but for whatever reason, she had decided to forgo a helmet. At the moment, she had her long legs splayed out behind her like a spider and her ass slightly raised like a cat that’s about to pounce. Her rifle was braced against the top of the building. As I watched, she raised her head and gun just enough to get the idiot down on the street in her sights.

  Her gleaming green jet of acid punched a hole right through his chest, and he toppled limply to the ground as it sizzled softly.

  Lu spotted me and shot me a cheeky grin. She tucked the rifle against her chest on its sling and hopped down onto a window ledge, then swung off the bar of a sign to hop to the ground in front of me. I was about to offer her a compliment on her precision, but then she posed like a fucking acrobat with her arms held high and a giant, shit-eating grin on her face, and I remembered how much she absolutely did not need her ego stroked.

  “Let’s get a move on,” I said.

  “What if there are more baddies hiding in the buildings?” she asked with a slight pout but didn’t break her pose. “Or prisoners? Maybe we should at least creep around a little so I can listen for ‘em.”

  I considered this for a moment, then nodded.

  “Keep your eyes open, too, though,” I instructed. “And after that, we’ll get out of here. These bows and arrows aren’t the kind of shit we wanted to get our hands on, and it’s looking like this testing zone is designated to them. I figure there’s plenty more fun to be had tonight elsewhere.”

  Her face lit up. “True.”

  She prepared to skip around the next corner, but I yanked her back by her arm and stepped forward. I eased one eye and the tip of my rifle around the corner as I scanned the area for any threats.

  “Cool,” I muttered when I saw all was empty. “C’mon.”

  We darted from building to building and cleared the narrow streets one after the other. Once or twice, Lu tilted her head like a curious dog and looked around, but the noise ended up being the buzz of a neon street sign that I couldn’t hear. We didn’t find any more assholes or prisoners in hiding, and soon we made it back to the hallway unharmed.

  Outside the door, I quickly scanned the tower for any changes, but all the doors were still shut and barred with manacles. Then I slammed the double doors shut behind us and locked them the same way.

  “You think these are good enough for us to take the obelisk with?” she asked as she gestured at the rifle. “They’re weirdly accurate for something that just sorta spews toxic shit at someone.”

  “True,” I grunted. “I’d like to have something a bit more compact for backup, though. Plus… I won’t lie, turning those bastards from the hunters into the hunted was fun.”

  “Soooo fun,” Lu sang softly. “What do you think the next capsule will be like?”

  “Only one way to find out.”

  I took the stairs three at a time to reach the next door, swiftly unlocked the manacles, and then pulled it open.

  “Whoa,” Lu breathed.

  Like the other capsules, this one was at least a hundred feet wide on the inside. But unlike the others, this one was tall.

  Presumably to allow for the giant fucking forest that resided inside it.

  The tallest trees towered high over our heads, and they were gnarled and ancient-looking. Other smaller trees were like giant, wizened people stooping and staring down at us.

  We paced slowly and cautiously into the trees, and I had my rifle raised just in case someone came charging out of the undergrowth.

  But then something completely unexpected happened. Something I never would’ve expected from this dimension.

  One of the smaller trees rose up on its roots and charged directly at me.

  Its roots churned like a dozen stubby legs as it shuffled across the ground, and it raised its crooked boughs over its head like it was about to come hammering down on me all at once. Between them, I got a brief glimpse of a furious, gnarled face with murder in its eyes.

  Chapter 13

  The face looked eerily human, with sunken cheeks and furious but slightly bleary eyes.

  “Shit,” I snarled.

  I didn’t even bother being specific about my aim. Where even was the most effective place to strike a tree? I just pulled the trigger to send a hot stream of acid blasting at it.

  But no acid came. Instead, a bunch of green flowers came spewing out of my gun.

  “What the fuck?” I growled as green petals whizzed in every direction.

  Then the tree slammed into my head.

  Stars shot through my vision, only they weren’t stars. They were fucking daisies.

  I didn’t have time to be confused. Branches were clouting and thrashing every inch of my flesh.

  Then a shrill, piercing scream from Lu split the air, and my whole world shook. But weirdly enough, this time the sound didn’t make my head feel like it was going to split open.

  Instead, all the effect seemed to fall on the tree. It stumbled like a panicked person, but then it managed to regain its feet, or rather its roots.

  My first instinct was to drive my fist into it, but no matter what kind of twisted place we had stumbled into, punching a tree seemed more stupid than effective. I settled for closing my hand around one of its branches and twisting ‘til it snapped.

  The leaves all rattled furiously, and twigs lashed down on my face like whips.

  I just snarled and snapped another branch in response, a bigger one this time. Then I planted my foot against the gnarled trunk and shoved.

 

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