Apocalyptic pirates 5, p.8
Apocalyptic Pirates 5, page 8
“Yeah, Drew, those were some proper action hero moves,” Letty agreed.
“Do action heroes get to avoid the clean-up afterwards?” I grimaced and looked down at my clothes, which were stained and covered in the jaguar’s blood.
“Hey, I’m sure we can swing that,” Letty said with a smile.
I looked down at the dead body of the huge jaguar we’d just defeated. It was a spectacular creature, and I felt a strange stirring of pride as I looked down at it and saw its striking combination of beauty, strength, and skill that all came together to make it one of the top apex predators in the world. This was the kind of creature that our planet had produced. Something beautiful, and deadly, and utterly in sync with its surroundings.
The dragons were ugly fucks, and they seemed so poorly suited to life on Earth. They had none of the jaguar’s grace and beauty.
But now that I was so close to the jaguar and it wasn’t trying to kill us anymore, I could see how slim its flanks were, and how its ribs stuck out through its beautiful spotted fur.
“It’s not completely wasted away, but it definitely hasn’t been eating enough,” I noted. “Look how skinny it is.”
“I feel kinda bad,” Letty admitted. “It probably wouldn’t have attacked us normally, it was just so desperate.”
“I’m pretty sure they’re dangerous to humans even in normal times,” Dia said with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah,” Shannon agreed. “It’s a predator, just like the dragons are.”
“I know what Letty means,” Ally said with a sigh. “It just feels wrong, somehow.”
“It’s kill or be killed,” I pointed out. “It’s like that in nature, anyway, and I don’t really want to waste time feeling sorry for a creature that was trying to kill and eat us. It’s no different to taking out a dragon.”
“It just feels different.” Ally pulled a face. “Maybe I’m just biased because jaguars are prettier than dragons.”
“And you can’t make nice rugs out of dragons, either,” Dia said with a dry smile.
“But I bet you could make a killer purse,” Shannon mused. “Maybe that’ll be the next big thing after we’ve used the dragons for their medical uses.”
“Why not?” I shrugged. “We already use crocodiles for shoes and bags.”
“Would I buy dragon shoes?” Ally considered it for a moment. “You know, I think I would. We’ve seen some really brightly colored dragons, and they would make some darling heels.”
“Drew, would you have a dragon belt?” Shannon asked with a grin.
“Maybe.” I wrinkled my nose. “Though I have to say, I’m still grossed out by the thought of having anything dragon-related too close to me.”
“Well, at least you’re covered in jaguar blood, not dragon blood,” Dia teased. “How does the change feel?”
“Pretty much the same,” I told her with a chuckle.
“Why don’t you go downstairs and shower?” Shannon suggested. “We took turns resting and keeping watch while you were sleeping, so we’re all pretty well rested now.”
“I don’t think any of us should be out here for too long.” I shook my head. “I’ll help you guys get this cleaned up so we can all go down below as soon as possible. Letty, do you have anything planned for dinner?”
“I prepped a vegetable pie, and it’s sittin’ in the oven ready to be baked,” Letty replied. “I can go turn the oven on and get started on the sides.”
“Great,” I said. “The rest of us can clean up out here.”
Letty nodded and went below, and Ally, Shannon, Dia, and I got to work with cleaning up the mess on deck. My spear was still in one piece, although the jaguar’s teeth had left deep impressions in the thick wood. We retrieved Shannon’s spear and Dia’s knife, and then had to figure out how to get the body overboard.
It was easier than expected to get the jaguar carcass off the yacht, and it took just some hoisting, shoving, and pushing to get it over the railing. The body fell into the water with an enormous splash that sent droplets of Canal water flying everywhere.
“Can you eat jaguar?” Shannon panted as she flipped the dark strands of her hair out of her face.
“I guess?” Ally wrinkled her nose in disgust at the thought. “Why would you want to, though?”
“Hey, it could be tasty.” Shannon grinned.
“They do eat them in some places in Colombia,” Dia said. “Like, you’re not meant to, because I think they’re a protected species, but I’m sure I remember Papi telling me about some black market places out in the boonies where they would sell jaguar meat for people to eat.”
“Did he say what it tasted like?” Shannon asked with her eyebrows raised.
“Kinda like pork,” Dia replied.
“That is not at all what I thought they might taste like.” I shook my head. “Though to be honest I haven’t really given the subject a whole lot of deep thought.”
“See, pork.” Shannon gestured dramatically over the side of the boat. “We just threw away a whole bunch of meat that Letty could have made into a stew.”
“I think you’d have a hard time convincing Letty to cook jaguar meat in her kitchen,” I chuckled.
“And an even harder time convincing Ally to eat it,” Dia added with a grin.
“Hey, I’d try it,” Ally protested. “I might not like it, but I’d try it.”
“Well, let’s get this mess cleaned up so we can eat the pie Letty’s actually baking for us.” I went down the hatch to grab the cleaning supplies, and we mopped up the blood and guts that were sitting on the yacht deck.
As I emptied the bucket of bloody water over the side of the boat, I noticed something happening in the water a little way behind us. It looked like a load of logs floating in the water that suddenly broke up and started thrashing about. I squinted my eyes, and then I realized that I was looking at crocodiles tearing apart the jaguar carcass that we’d dumped in the water.
The crocodiles were really going for it, and I could just about make out the sounds of splashing water as they ripped the corpse apart.
Hopefully that would keep them busy and quiet for a while.
I didn’t want to awaken Ally’s worries about crocodiles, so I didn’t share my news with the women. Instead, once all the cleaning was done, I headed downstairs and took a quick shower to rinse all the gore from my body.
Then it was time for dinner, and I dressed in fresh clothes and joined the women at the table.
Letty placed a steaming pie dish on the table, and using a knife to cut into the flaky golden-brown pastry, she placed a generous slice on everyone’s plates.
“Homity pie,” Letty announced.
“Is it made from free-range homities?” Shannon grinned.
“What the hell is a homity?” Dia asked dubiously.
“I know this!” Ally’s eyes lit up. “My nanny used to make this for me.”
“Of course she did,” Shannon murmured.
“It’s a British country recipe!” Ally insisted.
“Well, try it and see what you think,” Letty urged. “I had to use canned vegetables rather than fresh, but that’s all we had.”
“I’m sure it’ll taste great,” I assured her.
To go with the pie, Letty had mashed up more of the canned vegetables and fried them in butter to create a kind of vegetable patty. To round it all off, she’d made a thick, rich gravy from a packet we’d looted to pour over everything.
It was a heavy meal to be eating in the middle of the Panama Canal, but we were starving after the excitement of the evening, and as soon as I took my first bite, a wave of contentment that was almost orgasmic rolled through my body. The gravy was savory and full of flavor. The pie crust was flaky and buttery, and even though the filling was canned rather than fresh, it was still so flavorful and tasty.
“Oh, my god, Letty,” I mumbled with my mouth full. “I don’t know how you keep on doing it, but this is fantastic.”
“Why, thank you.” Letty smiled with pleasure and reached over to fill my water glass.
“Seriously,” Dia said as she reached for another vegetable patty. “You could be on, like, Come Dine With Me if you wanted.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Letty laughed and shook her head. “It’s just simple homemade stuff.”
“It’s some of the best food I’ve ever tasted,” Ally told her in admiration.
“And you know that means something when it comes from the resident rich girl,” Shannon said with a teasing smile.
Ally rolled her eyes, but she’d already taken another bite, which meant her mouth was too full for her to give a retort.
Outside, the night was coming on quickly. The sky was a dark, intense navy, and the jungle was starting to fill with the quiet sounds of the night animals going about their business.
But it only took one dragon roar for the whole Canal to fall silent.
“I hate it when that happens,” Ally said with a shudder. “It’s like they always have to keep reminding everyone that they’re in charge now.”
“They might like to think that they’re in charge, but we know better,” I said with a cocky grin. “Even without guns, we’re more than holding our own.”
“I was worried that the jaguar would bring more animal attacks,” Ally admitted. “But we seem to have gotten through without any more incidents.”
I thought of the crocodiles I’d seen feasting on the jaguar carcass, and I hoped that they could at least take the night off and give Ally some respite from her anxieties about them. Somehow I doubted that they gave a shit about Ally’s wellbeing.
“Yeah,” I said with an encouraging smile. “I think we’re doing okay. Although I do think tonight we should stand watch in pairs, rather than solo, just in case we do run into any more trouble.”
“That’s a good idea.” Shannon nodded. “And on that note, I have an announcement that I want to make.”
Chapter 6
“Ooh, this sounds serious,” Dia said.
“It is,” Shannon insisted. “I think we should all start to learn some self-defense.”
“What, like wrestling moves?” Ally asked.
“Yeah,” Shannon said. “Well, maybe not wrestling exactly.”
“I was going to say.” Ally raised her eyebrows. “I’m not sure how useful that would be against the dragons.”
“Not wrestling, then, but you need something to keep you safe,” Shannon said. “I’m not being funny, Ally, but you can barely get by with guns, and now we don’t even have those.”
“My talents lie elsewhere.” Ally folded her arms huffily.
“I don’t mean that as a criticism.” Shannon leaned across the table and patted Ally’s arm. “You know I think you’re great, right?”
“Okay, fine.” Ally sighed. “I’ll admit it, I’m not great with guns.”
“But in a way that doesn’t matter,” Letty said. “Because none of us can use guns now, anyway.”
“Exactly, that’s my point,” Shannon replied. “We need to find other ways to defend ourselves.”
“We have the spears now,” I said. “But I know I’m still learning how to use them. This is a great idea, Shannon.”
Shannon flashed me a smile as a faint blush spread across her cheeks.
“I was just thinking how important it is that we come to grips with things while we’re going through the Canal,” she said. “And I know that self-defense moves aren’t going to work against the dragons, but humans can be dangerous, too.”
“Especially with the new attention we’re getting from the YouTube videos.” Letty nodded. “Self-defense is always a useful thing to learn. I used to take a class back at my old community center.”
“Really?” Ally looked at her in surprise.
“Yeah.” Letty pulled a face. “I had a creepy client one time who I was showing around a property. Really handsy, and he kept makin’ all these inappropriate comments about me and the property, and it made me so uncomfortable I had to cut the viewing short.”
“Oh, my god,” Ally said in horror. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“There are some disgusting creeps out there.” I shook my head. “It makes my blood boil to think there are people out there who are allowed to just walk around and keep on harming others. No real man would act that way.”
“It was definitely an informative experience, as my aunty would say.” Letty sighed. “After that, I started vetting my clients more thoroughly and taking a regular class at the Y.”
“That kind of makes me feel better,” Ally said.
“How come?” Letty asked with a raised eyebrow. “Because if I can do it, then anyone can?”
“Well, yes,” Ally admitted. “But not in a negative way. I just mean…you’re always so poised, Letty, and you always look good, no matter what’s happening.”
“Well, thank you.” Letty smiled. “But you’re poised too, Ally. You’re also so dignified.”
“That’s what I mean.” Ally’s cheeks flushed rosy pink.
“Hold on.” Shannon held up her hand. “Are you telling me that you’re worried about looking silly?”
“No!” Ally’s face blushed an even darker pink. “Well… maybe a little.”
“Oh, Ally,” I said with a chuckle, and I leaned over the table to plant a kiss on her blushing cheek.
“It’s not like that,” she protested. “I’m not being prissy, I just… Well, okay, maybe I am being prissy.”
“It’s losing control,” Dia said. “You always try to be in command of what’s happening to you. And if you can’t control that, you try to control how you look, because then at least you can control something.”
We all blinked at Dia.
“What?” She shrugged. “I pay attention sometimes. And I used to watch a lot of Dr. Phil.”
“You watched Dr. Phil?” Letty asked in disbelief.
“My mom was a megafan.” Dia rolled her eyes.
“Well, thanks to Dia’s mom, you’re busted,” Shannon informed Ally.
“I know, I know.” Ally sighed. “It’s dumb, but Dia is right.”
Dia fist-pumped the air in triumph.
“You can’t avoid keeping yourself safe because you’re worried about looking dumb,” Shannon said.
“I know!” Ally gestured in frustration.
I got the feeling that Shannon, who had probably never worried about looking dumb in her life, was finding Ally’s conundrum hard to empathize with, but then Letty stepped in to soothe Ally’s qualms.
“I know what you mean,” Letty told the redhead with a gentle smile. “I felt kinda dumb at first. Standing in a big empty hall with a group of other women who all look way better in Lululemon than I do–”
“Impossible,” Ally declared.
“Thank you, darlin’.” Letty smiled and patted Ally’s hand. “I just mean, it is hard. And then you start thinking about why you’re there in the first place, and then you start worryin’ about whether you’re overreacting and maybe all of this is a big waste of time, and now you’ve got to wrestle some sweaty stranger who you’ve never met before…”
“You’re not really selling this, babe,” Shannon broke in.
“But you don’t have to deal with any of that,” Letty said with a pointed stare at Shannon. “You’re in a familiar space with familiar people, and we know for sure that this is going to be useful, and maybe even lifesaving.”
“Yeah,” I chimed in. “The priority is your safety, not what you look like.”
“Says the only guy in the room,” Ally said with a wry smile. “But no, I get your point.”
“Besides, Drew’s already banged you,” Shannon deadpanned. “So you don’t need to worry about looking sexy to seduce him into bed.”
Ally gave a little squeak of protest, and my mouth dropped open at the Indian woman’s boldness.
But then I saw the teasing glint in her eye, and I knew she was just joshing to try and put Ally at ease.
“You’re always sexy to me,” I told Ally in a firm voice. “It doesn’t matter what you look like. You’re gorgeous inside and out.”
“Thank you, Drew.” Ally flushed and bit down prettily on her lower lip.
“So unless Drew is fine with banging a corpse,” Shannon said relentlessly, “you’ve got no excuse for not participating.”
“I, uh, yeah,” I stuttered. “I do kinda draw the line at necrophilia, yeah.”
“That’s reassuring,” Dia chuckled.
“So there you go,” Shannon said to Ally. “Self-defense classes all around, yeah?”
“Yeah, okay.” Ally nodded.
“It’ll be fun!” Letty assured her. “I’m pretty sure I remember all of the moves, and any that I don’t remember, we can hopefully find a YouTube tutorial for.”
“Plus, we have our knives,” Shannon added.
“Ooh, now you’re talking,” Dia said in excitement.
“My brothers and I practiced some knife fighting,” Shannon explained. “Dad just wanted us to learn how to throw them, but of course we wanted to push it a little further.”
“The more I learn about your childhood, the more surprised I am that you still have all your fingers,” I commented.
“That’s just how good I am.” Shannon flashed me a smirk.
“The real test, though.” I held up one finger in a solemn gesture. “Is whether you can teach Dia to throw a knife without anyone losing a finger.”
“Or an eye,” Letty added.
“Hey,” Dia protested. “I’m not that bad.”
“Then you’ll be an excellent pupil, won’t you?” Shannon said sweetly.
“Ugh, fine.” Dia rolled her eyes.
“Let’s look up some videos now,” Ally suggested. “That way we can prepare a little for tomorrow.”
“Sure.” Shannon gave her a warm smile, which the redhead returned.
I got out my phone and pulled up YouTube. The internet took a long time to load, and while we waited, Shannon and Dia started to clear the table and take the plates through into the kitchen to be rinsed and then stacked in the dishwasher.
Letty put the kettle on. Although the coffee window was now closed, the herbal tea window was still wide open, and we had a fine selection of teas from the hotels we’d raided. I went for apple and cinnamon, Ally and Shannon chose mixed fruit, and Letty went for mint. Dia despised fruit and herbal teas, so Letty made up a single cup of Folgers for her to drink.
