“No,” Zenfor replied, stepping past him into his room.

  “Come on in,” Cas said moving to the side, biting back his sarcasm. “Is there something—?”

  “I need to know what happened to the commander,” Zenfor replied. “And I’d rather not ask anyone else. Many of the crew still don’t trust me.”

  “Why not ask Sesster?” Cas asked. “Aren’t you two close?” He gathered up his strewn clothes and tossed them into the open closet beside the bed.

  “Sesster would have to report I asked,” she replied, not seeming to notice his movements around her. “And I don’t want that attention yet. I figured you’d know and if you didn’t, you could find out.”

  Cas stopped picking up clothes. “Why? Did you find something in the scans?”

  “Maybe. But I still don’t have enough evidence to make a hypothesis,” she replied. “So don’t ask me what I’ve found.”

  Cas sighed. “Do you ever act without evidence? On gut instinct?”

  “Some do,” she replied. “But they are few and far in between. For our systems and rules to work, there must be a certain…order. Order that comes from empirical data.” She took a seat without him offering, sitting on one of his favorite shirts.

  Cas gave up trying to clean. “I don’t know what happened. I haven’t spoken with Evie and what I do know doesn’t make a lot of sense. Volf said she started talking about things that weren’t there. Some kind of archway? I don’t know, I didn’t get the whole story. But Volf had to knock her out to get her to stop. They towed her ship back in.”

  Zenfor watched him, her face impassive. “Is that all?”

  “That’s all I have so far, yes. If I still had my clearance codes, I’m sure I could read the full reports, but… What are you looking for, specifically?”

  “I’m having difficulty,” she finally said. “Because I’ve never encountered anything like what I’m seeing from the scans. It shouldn’t be possible and yet, the scans don’t lie. Which tells me it is something the Sil have never encountered before.”

  “What is?” Cas leaned forward.

  “Back at the nebula, when we encountered the creature, I was reasonably sure what it was right away, and I was right. A creature from an adjacent dimension. It made sense. These readings make no sense. I can’t reconcile what I’m seeing with what I know to be true about this universe.”

  “What?” Cas asked, exasperated. “What are you seeing?”

  “A paradox,” Zenfor replied, her face still impassive but somehow also confused. If he didn’t know better he would almost say fearful, though there were no outward, immediate signs. “What kind of paradox?”

  “The scans show something is there and not there at the same time. It shouldn’t be possible, but I have verified the integrity of the scans. I don’t know how to explain it.” She stood again and looked out his window, her face away from him. “It isn’t often the Sil encounter something they’ve never seen before. And while exciting, it is also concerning. I’ll need to let Mil’less know, if she’ll even talk to me anymore.”

  “Have you received any correspondence from her?” he asked.

  “No. And I am worried. She must know by now I’ve broken my oath.” She turned to face him again. “I need to know what the commander saw. If it was real or not.”

  “Look,” Cas said. “Evie…she’s under a lot of pressure at the moment. She’s had some…personal things come up and I’m not sure—”

  “You think her mental capabilities are compromised,” Zenfor’s eyes narrowed.

  “I think she’s exhausted and overworked. And she won’t give herself time to—” He crossed the room to his sink and grabbed a glass a water, downing it in one gulp.

  “You’re distressed,” Zenfor said, facing her body toward him.

  “I’m fine,” he said. She approached him, placing her hand on his shoulder.

  “No, your heart rate is elevated. As is your blood pressure. You are in a state of high anxiety.”

  “How can you tell all that?” he asked.

  She released him. “The same way I learned your language. By absorbing and interpreting the electrical signals your body produces.”

  “Is that something all Sil can do?”

  “With practice, yes.” She turned her back to him again. “If you don’t know anything else you can’t help me further. I’ll return to the weapons lab. If you find more information, let me know immediately.” She reached the door and left without another word.

  Cas barely had time to process her swift exit before his comm chirped. He tapped it. “Robeaux.”

  “Boss, can you come down to sickbay? She’s asking for you.” Cas’s heart rate skyrocketed. If Zenfor thought it had been elevated before, she should see it now. What could Evie want with him? Especially after what had happened in the Bay?

  “Yeah, give me just a minute,” he replied. He tried cleaning himself up in the mirror before giving up and heading to see what fresh obstacle awaited him.

  ***

  “Box?” Cas whispered as he entered sickbay. The main part of the room was dark, and Evie was over in one of the beds, her eyes wide open as she stared at the ceiling. They shifted a second as Cas walked in, then returned to their previous gaze. There was a small black device on her forehead but otherwise she looked fine.

  Box approached him, leading him over to the far side of the sickbay, out of her field of view. “What’s going on?” Cas asked. He glanced over to the window that showed Xax’s office. Greene was inside speaking with the doctor but because of the soundproofing Cas couldn’t hear a thing.

  “She asked me to retrieve you. There’s something wrong with her and we’re not sure what it is. She can’t maintain any kind of REM sleep. Anytime she does she goes into a fit. She nearly broke out of the containment field last time.”

  “I thought those were rated for magnitudes of force,” Cas replied.

  “They are. We can’t tell where her strength is coming from, but when she’s asleep it’s like she’s channeling this raw power.”

  “Is it related to what happened to her on the shuttle?” Cas glanced in Evie’s direction, even though he couldn’t see her from here.

  “Again, we don’t know. Xax has never seen anything like this before.” Zenfor’s words echoed in Cas’s head. Could what she was experiencing be related to Zenfor’s scans in some way? Or related to something in this system?

  “Has she said anything?” Cas asked.

  “Just that she wanted to talk to you. She’s refusing to speak with anyone else. Not the captain, not Xax, not even me, and I’m one of her good friends!”

  “Don’t take it personally,” Cas replied.

  “Oh, by the way. I figured out why she won’t couple with you,” Box replied. “It’s so obvious I can’t believe—”

  Cas held up his hand. “Stop. Now’s not the time. Can I go talk to her now?” Box nodded. Cas walked back around to the main beds, hers was the only one occupied.

  “Why do you think the ceilings in here are so high?” Evie asked as he approached. She hadn’t broken her gaze and Cas followed it, so he was looking up at the ceiling too.

  “I don’t know, maybe it’s just more efficient not to have one,” he said.

  “I like to think it’s because the designers knew sickbays are so boring and patients spend a lot of time on their backs. They could have covered all that with a smooth surface, but no. Look at all those little pipes and things to look at. It’s like a tiny maze.”

  “Evie.” Cas dropped his eyes. “What’s going on?”

  She winced, then turned to him. “I wish I knew.” She swallowed, hard. “You once entrusted me with a secret that could have been devastating for you if anyone found out. I need to ask for the favor in return.” Her voice broke as she said it, as if she’d been holding something back and it had come barreling through anyway.

  Cas placed his hand on hers. “If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s keeping secrets.”

  She smirked. “Good. Because once I tell you this, you’re going to think I’m crazy.”

  “No more than usual,” he replied. He had to admit feeling a sense of trepidation at her telling him. So far, he’d managed to let her down in every way conceivable, but this was his chance to stand up and help her. Maybe he wasn’t useless yet after all.

  All he had to do was hold it together.

  22

  Evie took a deep breath. He was standing right there, so why was it so hard to start? She knew how it sounded, but after she’d woken up to find herself thrashing again after yet another brief bout of sleep it had been time to take this seriously. That, and she finally remembered what the dream had been about. If there was anyone on board who could at least appreciate the magnitude of it, it was Cas. Greene would be sympathetic, but he wouldn’t get it. Neither would Xax. They hadn’t been there; they hadn’t seen that crazed look in her father’s eyes. And now, it seemed even in death, he wouldn’t leave her alone. She never should have gone down to that planet.

  “I’m seeing…I’ve been seeing things that other people can’t see,” she said.

  “The archway?” Cas asked, his words gentle.

  “You know?”

  He averted his eyes for a moment. “I overheard Greene and Volf talking in the bay after they took you off the shuttle. They said you were determined to prove it was real.”

  She gave a small nod. “It is real. I had my doubts at first, when they brought me back in here, but it’s out there, Cas. I don’t know why I’m the only one who can see it, but it’s there. I’m not making it up and it isn’t a symptom of sleep deprivation.” She saw a subtle shift in his eyes and knew that must be what he thought. “But there’s something else too,” she said. He didn’t ask, only waited for her to gather the courage. “My father…he’s dead.” He didn’t react. “But that’s not the problem. The problem is I keep having these dreams about him, and every time he’s holding me down, screaming at me. And as crazy as this sounds, I think it’s connected to the archway. And I think it’s connected to the aliens.”

  That did surprise him as his eyes went wide. “What do you mean? How could they be connected?”

  “I don’t know, but I’ve been having periods where I’ve been losing time. Not long, a few seconds here or a minute there. And after I can’t remember what I had been thinking about. And even though the dreams have been happening since Cypaxia, the missing time didn’t start until we got into this system. I asked the doctor, no one else is experiencing the same symptoms.”

  “And you’re sure this isn’t just your mind dealing with the trauma of what—”

  “It’s not that,” she hissed. She hadn’t meant to get worked up, but she knew that’s right where his mind would go. She didn’t have trauma. The old man attacked her, and Cas knocked him off. He was out of his mind and now he’s dead. If only his ghost would leave her alone she’d be okay.

  He put his hands out. “Sorry, just making sure. I don’t want to overlook something that might be important.”

  Evie sighed. “I know. And it sounds crazy. Not to mention the crap I’ve been dealing with trying to find my mother.”

  “I thought you didn’t have any information on her,” Cas said.

  She scoffed. “I didn’t. Not until Dad decided some of his parting words to me would be to let me know she committed suicide because she couldn’t deal with me, leaving him to raise me alone.”

  “Oh,” he said, looking away from her.

  “Hey, don’t feel sorry for me. That was a crazy old man ranting. An old man who wanted to hurt me. I don’t believe a word of it, but I can’t find anything in her record, even though I have her name now. It’s strange. It’s just one more thing to add on the pile.”

  “Still, that had to sting,” he said.

  Evie shrugged. “It didn’t feel great, but at the time I was more occupied with why I couldn’t get him off me. All I can come up with is temporary paralysis due to fear. Which isn’t surprising given our history. He always had that effect on me. I’m just glad the bastard is dead.”

  “I’m sure that’s a relief,” he said. “Have you told anyone else?”

  She shook her head. “Why? It’s not like anyone can do anything to help. Especially not while we’re all the way out here. I need to get back on a regular schedule. But Xax won’t let me leave, which is why I need you.”

  Cas scrunched up his face. “For what?”

  “To go find the arch. It’s out there, but I need you to prove to everyone else it’s real. It has to do with the alien armada, I know it does. It was there, spanning the two moons.” She knew how it sounded, but if they could just find proof, if they could take some time to examine it, she was certain they’d find the answers they were looking for.

  But then she saw his face. It was subtle, but it had fallen a bit, as if he pitied her. And that was not why she wanted him here. If she wanted pity, she’d broadcast her situation to the entire crew. What she needed was someone who believed her. Someone who was willing to help.

  But Cas wasn’t that person. He’d humor her, and then report her back to Greene while she wasn’t looking. She cursed herself for not taking more time to build bonds with other members of the crew. This is what she got for keeping herself isolated. When she needed something, when she really needed someone to be there for her, she was alone. “You know what, never mind,” she said. “I think I’m just tired.” She turned on her side with her back to him. “I’m going to try and get some more sleep.”

  “Evie…”

  “Just, leave me alone, please. I need rest.” Tears stung her eyes, but she’d be damned if she was going to turn back over so he could see them. She hadn’t realized how much she’d been counting on him believing her, on helping her. But then again, he hadn’t even gone out in the shuttle on the mission, why would he be willing to head out now?

  She caught the sound of him shuffling away on the metal floor, his footsteps muffled as he retreated to the other side of the space, no doubt to tell Xax and even Greene what she’d confessed to him. How could she have been so stupid? She should have just done it herself. Waited until Box and Xax weren’t looking, then used her command codes to break through the system and access the bay. Then she’d be able to prove it.

  She couldn’t hear anything else and wasn’t sure if he’d left already or if he was still over in the other part of the sickbay, reporting his “findings”. This was so typical. Ever since she’d been little it had always been her and her alone. No brothers, no sisters, and friends that were few and far between. Not many kids survived an encounter with her father when she brought them home. All it took was a snide comment about their appearance or abilities that often made them leave and led to her ostracization on Sissk. No one wanted to take the chance, despite there being so many diverse species on the planet. She’d been only one of seven humans in her entire community, and that included her father. It only made things worse.

  Evie was never willing to let his attitude infect her like it seemed to do to others. She’d watched as what remained of his family had drifted away because of his behavior, and she remembered them all giving her pitiable looks as Cas had done. She’d been fighting against that look her entire life. The only one who never seemed to join in was her grandmother. Maybe that’s why she’d given Evie the sword. Not because she felt sorry for her, but because she saw something in Evie that told her she was worthy to have it. Her father had never even touched it and had told her on more than one occasion he never cared to. And somewhere deep down, that made her feel better. Knowing it had never been a part of him in any way. As soon as she got back to her room she was going to hang it back up. Had grandma known about Amanda Lawson? Surely she would have told Evie if she had. But more than likely her father would have done everything in his power to make sure no one knew. Once that man settled on a position it was impossible to get him off it. And if he’d decided no one would know a thing about Evie’s mother then that’s just how it would be.

  She never should have gone there. He hadn’t deserved her compassion. That was one mistake she wouldn’t make again.

  ***

  Cas stood by the side of the partition separating one side of sickbay from the others, watching as Evie’s shoulders rose and fell in small shudders, her back still to him.

  “Well?” Box asked. “What did she say?” Xax had come up beside him while Greene lingered in the background.

  He wasn’t sure what to do. Should he tell them she’d confirmed the arch story, but that she’d also admitted she was under immense mental and psychological pressure from everything that had happened on Cypaxia?

  “Did she say anything that might indicate her mental state? I don’t think she’s been honest with us,” Xax said. “And I’m afraid that lack of honesty might lead to some damage if we’re not careful.”

  Should he tell them what she said? About her father and her mother and everything else? If Osborn Diazal weren’t already dead, he’d take a shuttle back to Cypaxia right now and beat the man into a pulp. What on Earth could have been going through his mind? Had he really been so crazy as to accuse his own daughter of “killing” her mother? Evie really had won the terrible father contest. Osborn beat out his own dad by a couple light years.

  But the fact was she believed the arch was real. When no one else had seen it. And she’d asked him to prove it, to prove she wasn’t imagining it. But that meant getting back in a shuttle, flying out there on his own and finding the evidence. The odds were it didn’t exist; there was no archway and it had been nothing more than the result of an exhausted and overworked mind. But then again what if she wasn’t seeing things? What if it really had been there and she was the only one who could see it?

  “She…uh…she wanted to check on me. I’ve been having some issues lately and I’d declined going on the mission—”

  “Hence the injection,” Box said, nodding at Xax who ignored him.

  “Yeah, so. I think she’s just really tired. She said she had a nightmare?”

 

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