Addicted to you, p.17
Addicted to You, page 17
“There you have it, babe, you’ve arrived.” Aimee put the tray on the floor then pulled Elin in close. “I am so proud of you.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Sure you could, you were always destined for great things.”
“I may have been, but that all would have been buried if you hadn’t come into my life. I was devastated and I didn’t want to go on until I saw you standing at my door, and after that everything in my world changed ”
“As you changed mine.” Aimee kissed the top of Elin’s head and sighed happily. “Remember that day when you first showed me your designs?”
“Yes.” Elin laughed…
They had been talking to each other daily since their first dinner date. Several times a week they would meet and go out to the theater, dinner, or visit the city’s numerous museums. After they had known each other for two months, they shared a picnic lunch in a park across the street from Elin’s apartment.
Aimee asked, “What are you dreams?”
“I’ve always wanted to have my own line of clothing.”
“So why haven’t you done that? You certainly have the education and training for that.”
“I’m afraid. What if I fail?” Shrugging. “Then there is the money side, I’m not exactly wealthy.”
Aimee sat up from her reclining position and looked squarely in the blue eyes. “Then you try again. Have you done any designs?”
“You make it sound so easy. There is so much more involved than just design.”
“Of course, there is, Elin. Anything worth doing is involved. You never know until you try.”
Elin focused on a distant tree and shrugged. “I have some designs.”
“Want to show me?”
A brilliant seductive smile crossed Elin’s face. “Do you want to come back to my place and see my etchings?” She wiggled her eyebrows.
Aimee scrambled to her feet and held out her hand. “Let’s go…”
The rest of the morning after the show had been one of renewing their deep love and commitment to each other. Elin, standing at the window, watched as a fall rain fell softly on the pavement below. A look of warmth and love crossed her face as she felt the strong, loving arms of Aimee encircle her waist.
“You ready to go?” Aimee asked.
“Yes, we need to get all those flowers over to the hospital today while they are still fresh.” She leaned into her lover’s body. “Ugh, I need to write thank-you notes.” Elin looked into Aimee’s green eyes and grimaced. “I hate doing that.” She stole a quick kiss. “Are you sure you want to help me with that? You know you don’t have to.”
“You know I think we agreed to help each other…do things as a couple.” Aimee laughed deeply. “That includes thank-you notes doesn’t it?”
“Absolutely. Do you think it is something I need to do myself? You know, the personal touch.”
“Perhaps. Tell you what, I’ll load the flowers and take them to the hospital and you can get started on the thank-you notes,” Aimee offered. “When I get back I can help with the cards or at least put them in the envelopes with stamps.
“Thank you, that will help me.” Elin looked at the time. “Come on let’s get a move on so we can get it over with. If you’d like, we can go to Frank’s for dinner tonight…my treat.”
“Sure you don’t want to go to some place fancy now that you are ‘the new darling of the fashion world’?”
Elin slapped Aimee gently and made a face. “I’m no one’s darling but yours.”
Chapter Twenty-one
Elin sat at her desk with the pile of cards from the flowers in front of her and sighed. Better get to it. Her eyes drifted to Aimee who was taking armloads of flowers out to the van. She has the easier job. Get your rear in gear, Elin, these people thought enough to send congratulatory flowers, the least you can do is thank them. She picked up the stack and flipped through them looking for the one from her parents. Holding a card in her hand, she shook her head, read it again, then began to shake.
Elin, Congratulations on your success...my money was always on you for greatness. I will be in the audience cheering you on. Love, Marissa.
She dropped all the other cards and gulped in a breath before she whispered, “She was here.” A tear coursed its way down her cheek as all the feelings Marissa evoked flooded back.
So much had happened to her since she first met Marissa. She had found love and her true calling in fashion design. Marissa was in the past along with all the old feelings that she invoked. Or is she? Aimee had been her salvation, her lover, and best friend. Yet, just seeing a card that Marissa had written filled her with emotions long buried. She loved Aimee, didn’t she? Of course, I do. She was everything Elin could have ever hoped for. But then, why did she feel so turned on by this stupid gesture of Marissa?
“I can’t let her do this to me, to us. I can’t.”
Aimee came back inside and looked at her before rushing to her side. “Hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
Elin, refusing to make eye contact, just handed Aimee the card.
Aimee took the card, read it, and then, breathing deeply, gently placed it on the desk. “Wanna talk about it?”
Elin still wouldn’t look at her.
“There’s nothing to say. It just took me by surprise that’s all.” She then gazed into Aimee’s eyes and saw the concern there. “Did you get all the flowers loaded?”
“El, I can’t believe the nerve of her to send flowers.”
“I wasn’t expecting it and it just—”
“Damn, you don’t need to tell me how you feel, El. Remember I know the feeling and it is like someone punching you in the gut.
“I know.”
“The bitch has no heart.” Aimee closed her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean the tirade. Why can’t she just stay out of our lives?”
“No worries. We have each other and she cannot compete with that.”
“I love you. What can I do to help?” Aimee hugged Elin close.
“Since all the flowers are loaded why don’t we go deliver them?”
Aimee pointed to the cards and raised an eyebrow. “What about those?”
“I can work on the cards later. Right now I think we need to know that we can do something good for others.”
“We can both answer them, Elin.” Aimee picked up Marissa’s card. “And, hers?” Aimee asked bitterly.
“She doesn’t deserve a response.” As Aimee turned to leave, Elin picked up Marissa’s card and slipped it in her pocket.
†
Aimee eyed Elin as they ate dinner. She knew the look was a result of Marissa entering their lives again. Could they ever get past allowing her to upset their lives? She tried to think of the last time either of them had heard from her. To her best recollection it had been four years ago. Unless Elin hadn’t told her otherwise, this was the first contact Elin had with Marissa since that time she met Elin.
“At the risk of sounding like a broken record, do you wanna talk about it?” She was determined to find out why her lover was in such an emotional turmoil. Of course, she knew, but Elin needed to bring it out into the open so they could discuss it together.
“About what?” Elin’s eyes concentrated on her plate of linguine.
“You know what, El. Do you remember that we have a deal? We talk about what is going on in our heads regarding her.” Aimee blew out a breath of frustration and shook her head.
Elin’s hand instinctively went to her pocket and she fingered the card. “There’s nothing to talk about.” She let a small smile to curve her lips. “She’s nothing to me, Aimee. Yes, the card upset me but not for the reason you’re thinking.”
“What am I thinking?”
“That she thinks she still has a hold on me. She doesn’t. Not anymore.” After placing her fork on the plate, she reached for Aimee’s hand. “You are the one that makes my heart smile and sing—no one else does.”
“I thought we weren’t going to lie to each other about her.” The visceral reaction Elin had to the card scared Aimee. It was now obvious that Marissa still had a hold of her wife. With her heart breaking, Aimee pulled her hand away and frowned as tears rolled down her cheeks. Damn it, how can she still get to us after all this time?
Elin cocked her head and frowned. “I love you and no one else.”
“I’m sure you do,” Aimee said. The thought of Marissa played on the edges of her mind. “We need to discuss what you’re feeling. I love you. You can trust me.” They stared at each other.
“I do trust you, Aimee. I feel like I want to run and hide. I don’t understand why she called you to come back and never did me. I don’t get it.”
“Understand? What?”
“Why she called you so many times but not me. Wasn’t I good enough?”
“El, this is the first time she’s contacted you. You never had the chance to process how you feel and come to terms with something like this.”
“But why didn’t she call me like she did you?”
“Do you want my best guess?”
Elin nodded.
“Okay here goes. She was your first and you fell for her hard which is exactly what she wanted. What she didn’t count on was you pursuing her to the lengths that you did. You stood in the rain waiting for her and I think that spooked her. She couldn’t take the chance on it happening again. Calling you for a quickie would only give you hope that she’d be yours. Marissa can’t afford that. She’s a taker not a giver.” Aimee cocked her head. “Does that make sense?”
“She’s afraid of me?”
“Basically.”
“Then why did she contact me now?”
“Good question that I don’t have an answer for. Please let me help you get past this.”
“I know how you can do that.” The corners of Elin’s mouth crinkled in a smile as she reached for Aimee’s hand again. “What do you say we go home? I need to feel your arms around me.”
Aimee knew that the discussion of Elin’s feelings about Marissa and the card were over. She fished in her pocket for money and placed a ten and a twenty on the table. Tonight, they would celebrate their love and push Marissa out of our lives once again. She hoped.
“Let’s go.”
†
Elin threw a charcoal pencil on the pad in frustration, scraped her chair back, and got up. Concentration was impossible and she knew why. Marissa had invaded her thoughts continually since she read the card from Marissa. She never actually saw the flowers. Someone removed the cards from the flowers with a brief description of what they were on the back. Then Aimee carried them away for the hospital donation.
“Damn, what am I going to do?” She took the card out of her jacket pocket and held it close to her heart. It had been four years since she last spoke to Marissa but the phone number was still etched in her mind. As much as she hated herself for what she was about to do, her fingers, with a mind of their own, quickly punched the buttons.
“Marissa Banks’s office. May I help you?” a female’s voice asked.
“Yes, this is Elin Prescot. Is there any chance of speaking with Ms. Banks?”
“Just a moment.”
Unbelievable! She didn’t get the runaround. Fear gripped her heart as she realized that she might just speak with Marissa.
“Elin, is it really you?” Marissa’s voice asked happily.
“Um…a…a…yes, it is.”
“I am so glad you called. How have you been?”
An edge of happiness to Marissa’s tone was something that Elin had never heard before. She couldn’t believe that she was hearing the voice she had longed to hear for so many years.
“I…I just wanted to thank you for the flowers they were lovely.”
“I’m pleased you like them. Your show was spectacular, Elin. I always knew you were destined for greatness.”
The voice sounded so sincere and kind. Who is this person? Had Marissa changed?
“Thank you. I wish I had known you were in the audience. You should have come back stage for the party.”
“I didn’t think I would be welcomed.”
Elin could hear what she thought was hurt in the voice. She was taken aback and she didn’t know what to say. Would she have welcomed Marissa? She felt the resounding answer to her question was, “yes.”
“It would have been great to see you again, Marissa.”
“Have dinner with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Please, I want to see you. I’ve missed you terribly.”
“Did you really? You could have called me…you knew where I lived…”
“You’re right, Elin, I thought about you every day. Please see me.”
Could it be that Marissa really missed her? She knew how many years it had been. Maybe she had changed maybe...
“No, I can’t. I really can’t. I’m involved with someone.”
“Please,” Marissa implored. “Please meet me for dinner. I need to see you.”
“When?”
“Friday.”
“Where?”
“The Olica. Do you remember it is at the Kimberly? You said it was one of the best meals you ever had.”
“What time?”
“Seven.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Thank you, Elin. See you then.” Marissa paused. “I love you.” The line went dead.
Elin ended the call without a goodbye. She brought her hands to her face and splayed her fingers refusing to let herself have any thoughts of hope where Marissa Banks was concerned.
“What have I done? Oh, Aimee, I am so sorry. What a loser I am.”
She pushed aside the guilt over the betrayal to her lover as the vision of Marissa’s face drifted into her mind. A warm feeling replaced her self-anger as she recalled the sound of Marissa’s voice. Elin wondered if Marissa had really changed much. Was she still as beautiful? Had the last seven years been kind to her?
Aimee’s face rose to the surface of her consciousness as the tears that she held in check, rolled down her cheeks. Could she betray Aimee? Hadn’t Aimee been there for her, supporting her and loving her? Was she going to allow Marissa who had used them both to come between them? Elin wondered if Aimee would have done the same if the situation were reversed. It didn’t take her long to realize that Aimee would never betray her with the likes of Marissa Banks.
“I need to get out of here and visit my favorite place.” The viewing deck at the Empire State Building. Elin blew out a disgusted breath furious with herself.
For the next two days, guilt and shame filled Elin. At the same time, the anticipation of seeing Marissa again turned her on as nothing had since she had last been with her. Nights would find her in Aimee’s arms making love with a ferocity that they had never experienced. They didn’t speak during the evenings, each lost in their own thoughts.
Chapter Twenty-two
Ever since the fashion show, Aimee would stare at her with a questioning look and Elin would always look away. While at the hospital, waiting for a patient’s x-rays, Aimee realized that their relationship had changed, and she knew why: Marissa Banks. How could she fault Elin when she had felt the same overwhelming influence on more occasions than she cared to remember? How would she react if Marissa called her? Her mind drifted back two years when her cell phone rang and how overwhelmed she had felt when she heard Marissa’s voice…
“Aimee, I need to see you tomorrow night,” the authoritative voice said. “You know where to meet me.”
“A hello would have been nice.” She blew out a breath.
“Just be there.”
“No can do, Marissa.”
“Unacceptable.”
“Maybe so, but I won’t be there. How many times do I have to tell you that before you will believe me? I’ve moved on and it doesn’t include you,” Aimee said.
“I haven’t time to play this game, Aimee. I will expect you at seven.”
The phone went dead, and Aimee just stared at it.
“The nerve of her. Wait until I tell Elin.” Her mind fought with her body as the old familiar feelings of the lust Marissa caused tried to take hold. “Maybe I won’t tell her.” The next night, Aimee told Elin she had to work late and went to the special meeting place and clandestinely watched as Marissa waited for her. Aimee watched Marissa sitting there and for the first time felt that she had the power. She could choose to go to Marissa or leave. She left…
Now, a patient was keeping Aimee at the hospital when all she wanted to do was go home and tell Elin about that remembered incident. Elin was having a hard time and she knew if she shared her experience, she could help her. When she heard her lover’s voice on her cell phone she smiled.
“Hey, I’ve got a critical patient, so don’t wait dinner. I’m not sure when I’ll be home.”
“Do what you need to, Aims, I will be here when you get home.”
“Thanks. Hey, when I get home, I have something important to tell you,” she said before adding, “Elin?”
“Yes.”
“I love you so much. Thank you for being there for me.”
“Anytime. Hurry home.”
Elin sat down at the table and ate a lonely meal…looking around the home that she and Aimee shared, wondering what it would be like not to have her wife and lover in her life. Did she really love Aimee or was she just a substitute for Marissa because of shared experiences? A shiver shot through her body as she recalled the unbridled passion she had felt for Marissa. Putting the food away and the dishes in the dishwasher, she headed for the shower and bed. All the while thoughts of Marissa danced through her mind.
