Thoughts consume my brain. I hate that I feel this way all the time, but even more, I hate that I was too much of a coward to take my own life last night. I set out to do just that when I saw her. Now I’m a little pissed that she got in the way of my plans. She fucking ruined what I was about to accomplish. The ride to the clubhouse doesn’t take long, and as soon as I pull up to the gate, the prospect grins like a bitch. I flip him off and wave at him to open the gate before I pull in. I head straight toward my house too. Fuck the clubhouse. Fuck the guys. I’m not in the mood to deal with any of it right now, but as soon as I take the second right and head to the end of the road, I see Smokey and Ruger sitting on my goddamn porch like watch dogs. I kill the engine and climb off as they watch me.

  “Well, I’ll be damned. I ain’t never had a welcome home committee before,” I say sarcastically as I walk up the front steps.

  “Ain’t never lost your shit for the whole night and not checked in either,” Ruger growls as I sit in the seat next to him. He passes me a joint, which I gladly take.

  “Yeah, well. Rough night,” I tell him as I inhale.

  Blowing out the ring of smoke, Smokey laughs. “I’ll say. You smell like you had a few good rounds of pussy last night.” He chuckles harder.

  I shake my head and glance over at him and say, “I had a round alright. What are you bastards on my porch for?” Ruger leans back, putting his hands behind is head and sighs.

  “Well, I need a bitch to ride out to Henley’s with me. Someone who likes blood and guts. Figured you were my guy.” He chuckles as I smile.

  “Damn right I’m your guy. When we ridin’?” I ask, passing the joint to Smokey.

  “As soon as you’re ready. Hawk’s pissed. Shipment was cancelled at the last minute. He wants to know why,” Smokey tells me. I nod my head. Maybe I need to get bloody today. It would do me some good. No matter what the plan was last night, today is a new day and my brothers need me. I can play the part like any good actor. I can play the happy go lucky card and win a goddamn Emmy for it, but inside, I’m slowly dying. Just because it didn’t happen last night doesn’t mean I’m fixed.

  “Let me grab a shower and I’m good.” I shove out of the chair and head inside. As soon as I turn on the water, I hear my door close. I close my eyes as I step in wash away the reminder of last night.

  “What?” I snap when I hear the footsteps come into the bathroom.

  “Glad you came back, brother.” Ruger’s voice fills the room. I close my eyes as the warm water washes the blood from my body.

  “It wasn’t the right time,” I tell him as I watch the red tinged water swirl at my feet.

  “There’s always a time, but you’re right, Crow. This isn’t yours, brother. You got more in you. Meet you outside.”

  I listen to him leave the room before I sigh. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I have more in me, but if that’s true, I’m not sure how. I’ve given about all I have to give. I’m still me though. I’m still Crow, the motherfucking Soulless Bastard.

  Chapter 4

  The ride out Henley’s didn’t take us very long. I like it out here. It’s near the ocean and tourists. You might wonder why that’s a good thing, but tourists are a good cover for us. They are always doing something stupid as fuck and we can make a lot of shit look like they caused it. Besides, when there are dead bodies and no one else around, it could have been a tourist.

  “Look at this shit. No wonder the son of a bitch likes it here. No one can touch him without settin’ off some kind of alarm to these people.” Ruger flicks his cigarette to the ground as he looks around at all the people milling about over here. Henley wasn’t stupid. He set up his clubhouse in an old retail store right in the heart of tourist country.

  “Fuckin’ bullshit. Looks like a pussy to me,” I grumble as we walk toward the building.

  “Bullshit? Or smart as fuck? He knows we’ll be on at least fifteen store cameras, the bastard,” Ruger chuckles. I follow along. He’s right about that. There are so many shops around here, we are bound to be picked up on a few cameras.

  “That’s why we talk nicely and lead him out,” Ruger says as he shrugs, pulling open the front door. The interior is not what you would expect. This may be an old retail business but it’s set up like a clubhouse. There’s a building inside a motherfucking building. Another door sits in front of us as Ruger and I share a glance. Walking up to the next door, I raise my hand and knock.

  “I feel like I’m askin’ some chick to the dance,” I say with a laugh.

  “You went to a dance?” Ruger asks, cocking his head to the side to look at me.

  “Back in elementary school.” This pulls a full blown laugh from Ruger just as the door opens.

  “Who the fuck are you?” the guy thunders. Ruger and I share a glance before he steps up to the door.

  “Look, motherfucker, that is no way to answer the goddamn door.” Before I know what the fuck is happening, Ruger has the guy around the throat, walking him back into his own clubhouse. The man’s eyes are wide and his face turns red.

  “There’s one way to get in,” I mumble as I look around. In the matter of seconds, two more guys show up, guns in hand.

  “Let him the fuck go,” one of them growls. Ruger shoves the little prick away from him as we all watch him tumble to the floor and gasp for air.

  “Why do you motherfuckers have to be so bitchy?” Ruger asks, wiping his hands down his jeans as if the man had dirtied them. I can’t help but laugh. The man is off the hinges.

  “We need to talk to Henley. Get him the fuck out here,” I say as I wave my gun through the air.

  “He ain’t here,” the smaller one says. Ruger takes a step toward him, me right behind him.

  “Oh, he’s here. I know he’s here, and you know what else I know?” I say the closer we get. I can see they are just prospects guarding the fucking door. “I know that if you don’t run your little ass back there and get him, my boy here will bend you both over. You know you’ve heard about Ruger, right?” I watch the look on their faces as Ruger grins at them. This fucker is truly out there.

  “I’ll be right back,” one of them says.

  I watch the other as he tries to remain stoic. Little shit. I want to punch the fuck out of him. I keep myself contained when I smell smoke. I see the swirls of smoke as they curl into the air, announcing Henley’s arrival. He looks between the two of us but doesn’t say anything. I don’t like this fuck all that much. Never did. He is off. He’s eerie as fuck. The motherfucker is smart as hell but has some kind of disability that causes him to speak slower than others. That doesn’t make him any less lethal.

  “You girls want somethin’?” he finally asks.

  I chuckle when Ruger says, “You’re goddamn right we do. We wanna know why that shipment was cancelled last minute.”

  Henley watches us. It’s a little unnerving to have him staring you in the goddamn eye and know that his wheels are spinning to come up with an answer.

  “We have a situation. I was plannin’ on takin’ a ride out to see you boys. Come on back,” he says as he motions for us to follow.

  I glance over at Ruger, but he just shrugs and follows behind Henley. I take that as my cue and do the same. The prospects step to the side allowing us to move freely. The back of the clubhouse surprises me. It looks like a damn clubhouse. It amazes me to see this shit inside a retail area. Henley looks over his shoulder, taking a moment to form his words.

  “You like it? You know no one bats a motherfuckin’ eye at this place,” he says. I nod my head as I keep glancing around me. There’s a bar set up to the left. Stools of men line it drinking and having a good time. To the right there are some make shift rooms I can only assume they use to sleep in.

  “Sit down. Rosie! Get ‘em some beers,” Henley roars. I sit in the chair and watch the girl I assume to be Rosie make her way to the bar before dragging my gaze to his.

  “What’s the problem, Henley? We need somethin’ here,” I tell him.

  He pulls out a cigarette and lights it up before setting his lighter on his desk. The words are forming in that head of his. “Ancient Times MC. They seem to be movin’ into the area. Tipped off a few cops as to the location of our stash. We’re handlin’ that but we had to relocate. Can’t move shit until I handle them.”

  That’s not what I wanted to hear, but I’m glad it wasn’t some other bullshit like him trying to fuck us over. I blow out a breath and run my hand over my face.

  “What are they after?” Ruger asks when Rosie hands us both a beer. She eyes Ruger wearily, but when her gaze comes to me, she winks.

  I shake my head, irritated with myself. It isn’t about her. It’s about the girl from last night. How the hell do you fuck someone like that and not even ask her name? What kind of piece of shit does that make me? I know I use women like toilet paper, but fuck, that girl was different.

  “Crow! Where the fuck you go, brother?” Ruger snaps at me. I shake my head, clearing all the thoughts of her and what I did to her.

  “What?” I ask sounding a little more annoyed than I meant to.

  “You think Hawk will go with the idea?” he asks me. I shrug not knowing what the fuck the idea even was.

  “Goddamn, Crow. Get your head outta your fuckin’ ass, brother,” Ruger growls. I start to shove out of my chair when Ruger grabs my arm. “I know shit’s off with you, Crow, but fuck.” I nod my head and sit back in the chair. That was his way of apologizing. I take it at what it is.

  Henley watches me for a long minute before he says, “Gettin’ rid of ATs. You think Hawk will be down to help out with that?”

  “Don’t see why not. We’ve never had shit to do with them. What are they after?” I ask.

  Henley shrugs, taking another long drag off his cigarette. “Not sure yet. Sent a few guys out on recon. I’ll get with you once we know.”

  Ruger grunts taking his beer down in a few gulps. “Heard that. We’ll let Hawk know what’s goin’ on. Next time ride out sooner. He was ready to shoot on sight,” Ruger tells him. Henley nods his head as the words form.

  “Heard that. I just had a lot of shit bein’ handed down to me. Not just ATs. My old lady went into labor early. Kid’s in the hospital. One of our guys got killed a week ago. Shit’s been slammin’ us.” Damn. Hearing all that makes my problems look like nothing. I know in my mind they are horrible, but what Henley’s facing is much worse.

  “Fuck, brother. Sorry to hear all that,” I tell him. Henley nods when I take down the rest of my beer. I set the bottle on the desk in front of me before shoving up.

  “We’ll get back with you soon,” I tell him. Henley nods his head as Ruger and I head toward the door.

  “Fuck. Who the hell knew shit was gettin’ that real over here,” Ruger says running his hand through his hair.

  “Heard that. All he had to do was make a goddamn call though,” I mumble as we head out the front door. As soon as we step outside, the hot California sun beats down on me.

  “Fuck it’s hot!”

  Chapter 5

  We ride around town for a while just checking shit out. Nothing seems out of the ordinary and at the moment there are no signs of the Ancients. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. I wanted to get my hands dirty today. I wanted to see something bleed but I guess I will have to settle for mentally torturing myself. I seem to be getting damn good at that. We make our way back toward home when I follow Ruger as he rolls to a stop in the parking lot of a small diner. I kill the engine and climb off, glaring over at him.

  “Hungry?” I ask, teasing a little. Ruger grunts and sets his helmet on his seat.

  “I ain’t had no food since this mornin’. Big fucker like me needs nourishments,” he says rubbing his stomach.

  I chuckle as I follow him inside. The little chime over the door dingles announcing our entrance. All eyes seem to shift toward us but quickly go back to what they were doing. I shake my head, not in the mood to deal with the likes of the common assholes that run around this city.

  “You gonna look pissed all day?” Ruger asks over his shoulder as I follow him to a booth by the window.

  “Maybe. Who the fuck cares?” I ask as I slide in. As soon as we settle into our seats, the waitress walks over laying menus in front of us.

  “What can I get you boys to drink?” she asks with the hint of flirtation in her voice. I don’t look up because frankly, I don’t give a shit.

  “Beer and a water,” I say, picking up my menu and eyeing my choices. Ruger orders his drinks as well, but I tune him out as he flirts with the girl.

  “Hot piece of ass. I should get a piece but I wanna keep my nuts.” He laughs. I shake my head and laugh along with him.

  “How is shit with Kira?” I ask, setting my menu back down in front of me.

  Ruger leans back in his seat and looks at me before he says, “Not bad. It’s a little weird for me, brother. One chick? I mean, she don’t mind bringin’ in one of the whores to play but fuck. I don’t want them touchin’ my woman.” He grunts again making me laugh.

  “I feel you, brother. She’s a good girl though. The guys seem to like her, like havin’ her around,” I add.

  “What about you? You like her?” he asks. I shrug my shoulder and look at my hands.

  “Doesn’t matter what I think, but yeah. She’s good to you. It’s about time you had one like that. You ever need a third player, call me in,” I joke.

  Ruger laughs before he says, “Fuck that. You ain’t touchin’ her either.”

  The waitress sets our drinks on the table before we both order chicken wings. It doesn’t take long before we are both filled the fuck up with food. I lean back in my seat, fully sated. I grab my beer and take another pull when I hear commotion behind me. I don’t turn to look but Ruger leans to the left and takes a look. He shakes his head when his eyes come back to meet mine.

  “What is it with men and a women’s weight? I never understood that shit. So the fuck what if she’s bigger?”

  I raise an eyebrow at him. I’ve never heard that leave his mouth before. That’s a new side of Ruger I didn’t see.

  “Since when don’t you give a shit?” I ask needing to know what the hell is with him.

  “Since I don’t give a shit. A woman is a woman. Don’t matter her size. It matters what she can do for you,” he chuckles.

  The longer I sit here, the more I can hear what’s being said behind me. I glare at Ruger as heat rises inside of me. I feel it crawling up my neck and I know my disgust is playing on my face. I may be a woman user but I sure as hell don’t tolerate that shit that’s happening behind me.

  “Don’t do it,” Ruger says as a shit eating grin crosses his face knowing damn good and well I’m going to do it.

  I swallow hard, trying to focus on anything but these little pansy fucks behind me. When I hear the words “You are so disgusting” leave the fuckers lips, I slide out of the booth. Ruger laughs as I spin around and face the son of a bitch.

  “Hey!” I roar pulling his attention. I don’t even look at the woman he’s talking to. It doesn’t matter to me what she looks like.

  “Who the hell are you talking to?” the punk asks looking me up and down.

  “Didn’t your momma teach you how to talk to women?” I growl as my hands clench at my side. Someone makes a noise next to me. I assume it’s one of the girls but I don’t stop myself to check. My focus is on this punk.

  “Fuck you, man. You look at her?” he asks me. I slowly drag my gaze over to the girl and gasp. It’s her.

  “You,” I say in disbelief.

  She looks up and her big blue eyes find mine. “Crow,” she says. Shock is laced in her words and her body is stiff, completely unsure of what to do.

  My heart leaps in my chest a little. I didn’t expect to see her again, but I find that it’s a good surprise. She gives me a small smile before I look back at the bastard in question.

  “Apologize,” I growl as the asshole stands there with a smirk on his face. I want nothing more than to rip his little lip ring out and shove it down his throat. The punk laughs when I reach up and grab him by the throat.

  “I said apologize to her.” I jerk his face around as he looks at her.

  “Figures you’d know the pig,” he mumbles before I squeeze harder.

  “Know her? Kid, I fucked her. She has one hell of a pussy between those sexy thighs, now fuckin’ apologize before I snap your goddamn neck,” I growl.

  “Wait, what? Lyric? What the hell?” her friend across from her says.

  I look at the girl. Lyric. Fuck that’s a hot ass name too. Lyric’s cheeks turn pink, making me grin just a little.

  “Oh shit. He done fucked that girl,” Ruger chuckles behind me. I don’t turn to look at the asshole either.

  “I’m givin’ you one more second to stay silent. Then I’m fuckin’ your world up,” I tell the prick that gasps for air.

  “Sorry,” he says before I shove him back. I watch him stumble and fall to his ass before he scoots away from me.

  “Punk ass,” I mumble dragging my gaze back to hers.

  “You’re still alive,” she says with a smile on her face. Fuck, look at her. She’s so damn beautiful.

  “Yeah, but I’m barely breathin’. Glad to see you still walkin’ though. Finish your meal. He won’t fuck you with anymore,” I tell her as I turn to Ruger. He stands next to the table with a shit eating grin on his face. One I’d like to slap it the fuck off. I hate that he knows exactly what I did with her now. Not that it matters.

  “You ready?” I ask walking past him, reaching into my pocket and tossing some cash on the table.

  “Oh, I’m ready. Ready to hear all about that pussy you got,” he says as he follows me out the door. I head toward my bike when I hear her.

  “Crow!”

  Chapter 6

 

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