Queen of lords, p.5
Queen of Lords, page 5
“See?” he laughed. “You’re getting flustered.” He paused, looking deep into my eyes. “People fake everything, their smiles, their anger, their happiness. It’s rare that a person so honestly shows everything and at the moment it happens. Children are constantly taught to hide and lie about their feelings because it’s the adult thing to do. Suffer in silence.”
“I’m the biggest liar there is,” I mumbled.
“Maybe,” he answered. “But unfortunately for you, it might be only your words, as you cannot control your expressions.” The rain started to drizzle lightly, creating a gentle pitter-patter sound. I heard Liones as he grumbled, “Hopefully you’ll get rid of that knuckle-head that’s making you cry. That way, you can genuinely smile all the time.”
CHAPTER 5
When I returned to the inn that night, the silence in Ray and Ruella’s absence was palpable. The tension between Ray and myself was still present from yesterday, and I was furious that he would stoop so low as to use my past against me. If our anger continued to escalate, what venomous insults would we hurl at each other next?
All I wanted was an explanation, for him to provide me with a concrete action to take in order to advance our goal of revenge, but it appeared that all of our plans had been completely disregarded once the king returned. Now I was left wondering who I was and what I was doing here. Liones, thankfully, offered some respite on this trip, shielding me from the consequences of displaying my emotions.
As the days passed, my routine consisted of assisting Liones with various tasks around the village, while the whereabouts of Tenia, Triaya, Ruella, and the princes remained unknown to me. Liones’s presence exuded kindness. Despite being ignored, I genuinely had a lovely time, soaking in the vibrant atmosphere.
In the early hours of the morning, Triaya and Tenia ventured out with Kale to the docks, where they meticulously examined the ocean’s current state. Since Triaya had a sea-based kingdom, they decided to investigate whether pollution was causing the fish to disappear or if there was something else frightening them away. Without uttering a word, Ray departed alongside Ruella to have a conversation with the village leader. Ray’s punishment was evident in his silence; he didn’t even bother to glance my way. I would be dishonest if I claimed to feel liberated from him—his presence still lingered in my mind, and rather than emancipated, I felt like I was trapped. It felt deliberate, as if he was purposefully tormenting me, and there was no way for me to break free. It worried me, to be honest.
Left to my own devices, I decided to occupy myself by visiting the old woman, Alba. Since she was nowhere near the house as I approached, I found myself drawn to the rustic charm of the nearby barn. I stopped in my tracks as the distant sound of voices reached my ears from within its walls. I slowed my footsteps, trying to make as little noise as possible as I approached the slightly ajar door. When I peeked inside, I noticed Liones tenderly rubbing Alba’s back.
“Don’t worry, just keep it. If he gets on to you, just tell him I did it.” He handed her a couple of silver coins.
“He will execute you if he knows!” she whispered, her hand tenderly caressing his cheek. “Don’t get caught.”
I noticed Liones’s head turning, and a wave of caution washed over me as I quickly distanced myself, fearing that he had caught sight of me, but it was too late. Liones stared at me with wide, shocked eyes. He anxiously scanned his surroundings, his eyes darting back and forth, before firmly grasping my arm and leading me into the barn. Alba gasped in surprise as she laid eyes on me, and with hurried steps, she made her way out of the barn. With the door shut behind us, Liones leaned in close, his hands pressing firmly onto my shoulders as he whispered, “What did you hear?”
I was rendered speechless, and he let out a heavy sigh. “Sentia. My Co-captain… do you think… do you think you can keep this a secret? You said once that you wanted to meet the thief, right?”
The truth became evident: he was the thief, his guilty expression betraying him. It was quite surprising, but not necessarily shocking. I simply nodded in response.
“Thank you Sentia.” He pulled me into a grateful hug. “Thank you!”
“What is going on? Why are you stealing from Tribel?”
“Tribel charges us to live on this land. His family owned it in the beginning, but as soon as he took over, he charged us twice as much as we originally paid. Now the serpent has been causing trouble for our fishing, which is how we make money to trade with other villages. As a result, our income has gone down and our trade has stalled for months. I had to do something. There isn’t much these elders can do.”
“I understand. I won’t tell anybody.”
“Once we figure out what is stopping the fish from coming, then I will stop. I promise.”
I shook my head and rubbed my face. “I have no issues with it. Just make sure you don’t get caught by the princes.”
He was quiet for a minute then let go of my shoulders and grabbed my hand. “What are you doing here?”
“I just wanted a distraction, so I was looking for work.”
“You didn’t go with the princes?”
I scoffed and turned around, leaving the barn while saying, “He’s not in a mood.”
I could feel him following me as I headed down the hill towards the water, eventually pulling up next to me with a sigh. He seemed shifty and uneasy, but I understood. When we arrived at the dock, Liones grabbed a small rowboat.
“Come with me.”
I shook my head. “No, I am scared.”
“That’s exactly why you need to come with me.”
I shifted uncomfortably until his hand gently grabbed mine, pulling me onto the boat. “Liones, I don’t want to go back on the water.” With a whine, I struggled to steady my legs as I slowly lowered myself into the rowboat, feeling the rough wood beneath me. He took a seat directly opposite me and started rowing, gradually distancing us from the shore. Trembling, I wrapped my arms tightly around my body. He pointed to the docks, where boats bobbed gently in the water.
“It’s right over there. Yes?”
“Y-yes… but—”
He pointed to his face. “Look at me. The only thing to fear about water is what is in it.”
“That makes it even more terrifying!” I yelled.
He shook his head. “Yes, but right now you are scared of what? Drowning. You are scared because you cannot swim, not because of what is in the water. Look in.”
I turned over and looked.
“Touch it.”
I touched it, wafting my hands through the cool wetness. As I did so, I felt a sense of calmness wash over me, and my heart started to steady. Liones leaned back. “Remember one thing if you ever get into the water unwillingly—flip to your back. Lift your hips and stay straight as you can with your arms outwards, that way you can just float. If you are sitting straight up,” he began to showcase his legs, looking almost like a frog, “move your legs like this, and calmly, while moving your arms like this.” He demonstrated again. “Don’t move too fast in a panic because you will get tired.” I nodded intently. He then grabbed his nose. “Don’t do this either. You panic faster. Hold your breath without taking a huge gulp of air. Stay calm and do not scream. It may be hard, but it’s necessary you think fast.”
“Fast—like you thinking of a way to save your people?” I purposefully stared at him, using my eyes to express something. He, unlike me, wasn’t going to shy away from the truth.
A look of surprise crossed his face as he paused, and then he slowly nodded, responding, “...yeah.”
CHAPTER 6
Once again, I found myself aboard the boat, surrounded by the vast expanse of water on yet another restless day, alongside Liones. The soothing movement of the waves, the distant calls of seagulls, and the salty breeze that permeated the air heightened my sense of unease.
“Get in.”
“The water!?” I gasped.
Liones just started laughing. “You said you wanted to learn how to swim?”
As I peered into the water, I couldn’t help but be captivated by the mesmerizing blue lagoon. Following our assistance to Liones and a few senior ladies, we’d decided to go out on the water for lunch. Ray and Ruella were conducting an investigation into the presence of dark magic in the vicinity, while Kale and his two betrothed had ventured out into the water aboard a large boat. Liones had showed incredible kindness by staying with me, and together we kept to assisting the elderly. He was an excellent listener, and I looked forward to our daily conversations.
However, at the moment I was regretting getting on this tiny boat with him.
“Theres no way I will get in.”
“Come on, I will get in first!” With a smirk, he took off his shirt, displaying his perfectly toned, shimmering brown torso. Before I could even stop him, he jumped into the water and the boat began to rock, causing me to cling on tightly.
“Liones!” As I searched the blue water, my screams echoed into the vast silence, but there was no sign of him resurfacing. Panic surged through me as I wildly scanned my surroundings, and a feeling of dread washed over me, causing my heart to plummet and my breath to quicken.
“Sentia, over here.”
Startled, I spun around to see him waiting on the other side of the boat. I sighed in relief, holding my hand to my chest. “Don’t do that!”
“What? You thought I drowned?” He hung his arms over the side of the boat and laughed.
I stared at him in his perfect hazel eyes and bright white teeth. He was too handsome to be angry at. Liones tapped the side of the boat playfully then held out his hand.
“Come on.”
“But…”
“Do you always want to hold on to fear, or do you actually want to conquer it?”
I hesitated. “I mean of course I want to conquer my fear… but…”
“In order to do so, you must step into it then. You need to face it head on and realize that the fear in your head is only in your head. And once you conquer it, you’ll realize there was nothing to fear at all.”
I took a deep breath and slowly grabbed his hand. With great caution, I lifted my leg over the boat edge and was immediately greeted by the chilling sensation of the cold water against my skin. Instantly, panic took hold as I felt my feet slipping, leaving me with a sense of fearful vertigo. It was a horrible, weightless feeling. I was certain I would sink.
But Liones firmly grasped my waist and effortlessly lifted me above the water. In my panicked state, I wrapped my hands around his neck, gripping tightly.
“Don’t let me go!”
“I promise I won’t.”
After a few minutes of shaking, I took a deep breath. Then I heard Liones laugh.
“Don’t laugh! This is terrifying, it’s like I’m floating off a cliff and if you let me go, I’ll drown!”
“You will drown if you don’t swim.”
“Are you trying to scare me more!?”
“No,” he pulled me back far enough to stare at me in the face, “but you need to know the reality of your fear to conquer it. Are you ready?”
“R-ready for w-what?”
He started to pull away, but I continued to grab at him. “No! No! No! Please don’t let me go!”
“Sentia, look at me.” He paused, waiting for my gaze to steady. “You can do it. I will still be holding on to you. Okay?”
I stared into his eyes. As I closed my own, I could feel the weight of the current situation pressing down on me. I was attempting to defeat my adversaries solely fueled by anger and a fierce determination, fully aware that deep down it was my fear of being exploited once more that truly drove me. This challenge was like a breath of fresh air compared to the complexities of my everyday life.
I opened my eyes and nodded. Liones smiled lightly and gently pulled away while holding my hands. Instinctually, my legs started thrashing in the water. “Okay, so you remember when I told you how to move your legs?”
“L-like a frog?”
“Yes.”
I tried, and after a couple of seconds, I started to get the hang of it, though my hands became frantic the second I realized Liones had let go. I began to panic once again.
“You got this! I’m right here! Move your arms and your legs, like this.” He began smoothly wafting his hands through the water as he frogged his legs. “Look at me and calm your heart. You are not alone.”
I am not alone.
I nodded and began to focus on my movements. They were still frantic, but I was more controlled and able to stay above water.
“There you go,” he spoke calmly, his movements in the water flawless. “Atta girl. As long as you keep your head out of the water, you will stay alive. You will be okay. You will be safe.”
“But the weight of me… of my fear…”
“What are you doing right now?”
“Swimming…”
“Floating,” he corrected. “Despite your weight, you are above water. Despite your fear, you are alive.” He grabbed my hands and placed them on the side of the boat before lifting me up onto it. Drenched, I calmed my breathing and looked down at him, still hanging in the water.
“How do you not fear the deep?”
“Fear comes from uncertainty of the unknown. The trick…” he came up to the side of the boat, resting his arms on the edge and his head on his arms as he whispered, “the trick is to pretend that you know what’s in the unknown. Just pretend. Pretend you aren’t afraid until you actually aren’t afraid anymore. Say it until you believe it.”
Another day had passed with Ray still avoiding eye contact with me or acknowledging my presence, unlike Kale who directed much of his attention to Tenia. I was learning nothing. I was contributing nothing. I felt like nothing. After leaving the women’s washroom, however, we coincidentally bumped into each other. He looked directly at me and scornfully scoffed before walking away. It seemed as if he was deliberately trying to hurt me. As he walked past, a strong wave of anger overwhelmed me. I felt like I was a ghost. He made me feel like a ghost. I was sure Ruella would be happy to hear that.
After encountering Ray, I proceeded to my room to change my clothes, but as I exited the chambers, I witnessed Tenia receiving an unexpected slap from Triaya.
“You stay in your lane, concubine. Don’t you ever, ever, tell me how to handle Kale.”
Tenia held her face and glared at the princess as she walked away.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Tenia pushed back her hair and huffed, “This bitch has been so authoritative—like she owns me! She doesn’t own me! Neither does Kale! I am so sick of the king’s decision!”
I completely understood.
“The king’s decision is final. We are the wives of the princes,” I heard Ruella’s grating voice behind me. “Whether or not you two like it, we will be responsible for giving the princes their children, and you will be no more than a backburner for pleasure.”
I turned to her and scowled. “Pleasure? You think that is all we’re good for?”
“Of course.” She smiled cruelly. “Do you want to know what Ray and Kale think of you as, too? Property. You belong to them. Love?” She scoffed. “You are nothing more to them than mere puppies they adopted off the streets. You. Are. Property.”
My jaw clenched, and I stormed out of the Inn. I found it incredibly difficult to handle even being in her presence, as her behavior was constantly infuriating. I paused, my gaze shifting to the sky, where I spotted ominous dark clouds looming overhead. They gathered in the sky, hinting at an impending storm. While walking, I caught sight of Ray conversing with the village head. He glanced in my direction, his expression filled with curiosity, before abruptly turning away. I clenched my fists together, feeling a surge of anger. Angry with him. Mad at Ruella. In a fit of rage, I stormed down to the forest, charging through the trees to where the imposing Nacrifa statue loomed.
My eyes locked onto her, and with a sigh, I couldn’t help but express my emotions. I found a spot to sit and immediately curled up, clutching my knees tightly, as the sound of thundering clouds filled the air. It was soothing to hear it. After a couple of hours, I began to realize that I had been sitting in the tranquil cave for quite some time.
“Co-captain.”
Liones’ voice pierced through the air, causing me to turn abruptly. In his hand, he tightly gripped a bag, its weight causing his fingers to strain. It jiggled and made clinking noises, giving the impression that it was filled with coins. As he approached me, a warm smile spread across his face, and he took a seat right in front of me. “What are you doing here?”
“Just thinking.”
“Another fight?” I scoffed at the smirk on his face and looked away. As I eyed his bag with a frown, he continued, “I had to. It’s all copper coins, so he won’t know it’s missing as much as if I stole the others. I stay away from the gold. This will help Tammy and Leo’s parents.” He set the coins aside.
We sat in silence, listening to the grumbling thunder. He took a big sigh and said, “You know… what if we met under different circumstances? Like what if we were neighbors?”
Then he wouldn’t be alive right now.
“Would we be childhood friends?” he continued. “Friends to…” he leaned in and whispered, “lovers maybe?” Each time his gaze met mine, my lips betrayed me and formed a smile, which I playfully unleashed upon him. Despite my invisible discomfort, he persisted in staring at me, his eyes never leaving mine, before leaning in closer. I blinked rapidly. What was I supposed to do in this situation? How was I to handle his crush? His hopeless romanticism? His lips met mine before I had the chance to gather my thoughts and react quickly, freezing in shock.
I’d been leading him on by not creating distance between us, but the truth was that some part of me couldn’t bring myself to create that distance.
I could feel my heart beating rapidly against my chest, causing a surge of adrenaline to course through my body. With anticipation, his lips parted, creating a magnetic pull that compelled me to open my mouth in response.
