This EPUB edition published 2013

  First published in 2006 by

  MACMILLAN EDUCATION AUSTRALIA PTY LTD

  15–19 Claremont Street, South Yarra 3141

  Visit our website at www.macmillan.com.au or go directly to www.macmillanlibrary.com.au

  Associated companies and representatives throughout the world.

  Copyright © Felice Arena, Phil Kettle 2006

  All rights reserved.

  This publication (or any part of it) may not be reproduced or transmitted, copied, stored, distributed or otherwise made available by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical) or by any means (photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise) without prior written permission from the publisher.

  Pie-eating champions.

  ISBN 978 1 4586 4730 6 (EPUB)

  Series created by Felice Arena and Phil Kettle

  Project management by Limelight Press Pty Ltd

  Cover and text design by Lore Foye

  Illustrations by Gus Gordon

  Visit www.macmillan.com.au/primary to read more about all our books and to buy both print and ebooks online. You will also find subject catalogues, teacher support material and news of professional development events.

  Contents

  CHAPTER 1

  Pie Season

  CHAPTER 2

  No Pain, No Gain

  CHAPTER 3

  Don’t You Dare!

  CHAPTER 4

  Spots

  CHAPTER 5

  Pie-eating Champions

  EXTRA STUFF

  Pie-eating Lingo

  Pie-eating Must-dos

  Pie-eating Instant Info

  Think Tank

  Hi Guys! (Author Letter)

  When We Were Kids

  What a Laugh!

  CHAPTER 1

  Pie Season

  Sam is playing basketball with his classmates in the schoolyard. A few moments later his best friend Billy appears, puffing and holding a newspaper in his hand.

  Billy “Didn’t ya say you’ve been saving up to buy a PlayStation Portable?”

  Sam “Yeah, a PSP. Why?”

  Billy “Look what’s in the school paper. I just grabbed it and sprinted here as fast I could. I was flying!”

  Sam “What is it?”

  Billy “It’s about the school fete.”

  Billy (reading) “Enter the pie-eating contest this year and win a PlayStation Portable.”

  Sam “Cool, I wish I had a shot.”

  Billy “What d’ya mean?”

  Sam “Are you forgetting Hugo Munchen? He’s been the pie-eating champion for the past three years in a row.”

  Billy “So? That doesn’t mean he’s gonna win this year.”

  Sam “Did you see him at lunch today? He ate a ham and tomato roll the size of a submarine! He’s a real mean eating-machine—a pie-eating legend.”

  Billy “So? That shouldn’t stop you from entering! I’ve heard your mum say to you a zillion times that you’re a bottomless pit!”

  Sam “Hmmm … that’s true.”

  Billy “So what are ya? A wimp, or the next pie-eating champion?”

  Sam “I s’pose I could be a pie-eating champion.”

  Billy “I didn’t hear you. A what?”

  Sam (raising his voice) “A pie-eating champion!”

  Billy “Say it like ya mean it!”

  Sam (louder) “A pie-eating champion!!”

  Billy and Sam’s friends all stop and look in their direction.

  Billy “You can do better than that!”

  Sam “I’M A PIE-EATING CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  Billy “Cool, ’cause I’m gonna be your coach.”

  CHAPTER 2

  No Pain, No Gain

  After school Billy goes to Sam’s house. They are in the yard and Billy is taking Sam through a pie-eating training course. Billy holds Sam’s feet down as he does some sit-ups.

  Sam “I don’t know why I have to do this. It’s got nothing to do with eating pies.”

  Billy “’Cause you need strong stomach muscles to stuff as much pie into your gut as you can! Keep going and don’t ask any more questions. Remember, do what your coach tells ya.”

  Sam “Yeah, yeah, Coach.”

  Sam does another two sit-ups before Coach Billy tells him to stand up.

  Billy “Right. Now I want you to open and shut your mouth as fast as you can. I’m gonna use my stopwatch to see how many times you can do it in one minute. Ready?”

  Sam “Not really.”

  Billy “Go!”

  Sam does as he is told until suddenly he begins to cough and choke.

  Billy “What’s wrong?”

  Sam (coughing) “I think I swallowed a fly! Gross!”

  Billy “That’s good. You need to be able to eat stuff ya don’t like. Remember, there’s always the surprise gross pie!”

  Sam “The what pie?”

  Billy “If you make it to the final, they always throw in a surprise gross pie. Just when ya get used to eating apple pie with whipped cream, they throw in a broccoli pie with cream instead.”

  Sam “Err! Gross! Puke city!”

  Billy “Exactly. That’s how Hugo’s won every time. He loves eating the surprise gross pies. Everyone else has to stop ’cause they’re spewing. That’s how you can beat him. You’ve gotta get used to eating stuff ya don’t like without spewing. Remember, no pain, no gain!”

  Sam “I’m not sure if I wanna do this now.”

  Billy “Yes, you do, ’cause what are ya?”

  Sam “I’m a pie-eating champion!!”

  Billy “Good. Now follow me. Time for your next exercise.”

  Sam follows Billy inside.

  CHAPTER 3

  Don’t You Dare!

  Sam and Billy are in the kitchen. Sam is sitting at the kitchen table with Billy by his side holding a stopwatch. On the table, in front of Sam, sits an apple pie with whipped cream on top.

  Sam “I can’t believe you bought this pie with your own pocket money.”

  Billy “Believe it, dude! I wanna see ya win.”

  Sam “Why?”

  Billy “’Cause your PSP will be my PSP.”

  Sam “Yeah, as if.”

  Billy “Okay. I’m gonna time ya to see how long you take to eat the whole lot. Ready? Set. Go!”

  Sam gobbles down the pie. He gets cream all over his face as he tries to shove as much pie into his mouth as he can.

  Billy “Faster! Faster! 35 seconds! Eat! Eat! Eat!”

  Sam (mumbling) “I’m going as fast as I can!”

  Billy “C’mon, eat faster! 49 seconds! You’ve still got heaps to go!”

  Sam dips his fingers into the pie and flicks some whipped cream into Billy’s face. Billy wipes the cream off his face and smears it on Sam’s forehead. Sam stops eating.

  Billy “What are ya doing? Keep going! You’re wasting time!”

  Sam holds the pie in his hand, as if he’s about to throw it. Billy steps back away from him.

  Billy “Don’t you dare! I’m your coach. Put it down!”

  Sam gives a wicked grin and steps towards Billy.

  Billy “Sam, remember why we’re doing this. What are ya?”

  Sam raises the pie.

  Sam “I’m a pie-eating champion!!”

  Billy “That’s right … so, put the pie down. No, Sam, no!”

  But it’s too late. Sam flings the pie at Billy. Billy ducks just in time. The pie flies over his head and across the room, just as Sam’s father enters the kitchen. Splat!

  CHAPTER 4

  Spots

  It’s the following morning—the day of the school fete and the pie-eating contest. Sam and Billy meet each other at the front gates.

  Billy “Hey, what happened after your dad told me to leave?”

  Sam “He was really angry with me. He’s never had a pie thrown in his face before.”

  Billy “So what’s with the freaky spots all over you?”

  Sam “It’s hives.”

  Billy “What? Beehives?”

  Sam “No. After you left I broke out in hives. They’ll be gone by lunch time, but the doctor reckons I’m allergic to the dairy cream on the pies.”

  Billy “What? You can’t be? What about the contest? You gotta still do the contest.”

  Sam “I’m not allowed to. Sorry, Coach.”

  Billy “But all that hard work and training … oh, man, this sucks!”

  Sam “Why don’t you do it?”

  Billy “What?”

  Sam “Yeah, you enter the contest.”

  Billy “Hmm. Ya reckon?”

  Sam “Yeah. You’ve got what it takes to be a pie-eating machine. You could be a champion, too.”

  Billy “Hmm. I do like pies. And I do like eating. And I do wanna win a PSP.”

  Sam “Which you’d share with me.”

  Billy “Maybe. And it would make me famous. So famous, that I’d be invited to compete at pie-eating contests right around the world. Maybe I could be a pie-eating wrestler. Yeah, I’d wrestle these big dudes and my trademark would be that I’d eat a pie after I slammed them to the floor.”

  Sam “Now you’re dreaming.”

  Billy “All right! I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna enter the pie-eating contest!”

  CHAPTER 5

  Pie-eating Champions

  The pie-eating contest is on. Billy eats his way through two heats and then a semi-fin al. Sam cheers for him all the way. It’s nearly time for the final.

  Sam “That was awesome! You’re in the final.”

  Billy “I feel like I’m gonna explode.”

  Sam “Well, don’t, ’cause this is the big one. You can do it.”

  Billy “Hugo Munchen’s in it as well. Again.”

  Sam “So what? You ate as many pies as he did in that first heat. You’ve got a good chance. Now get in there and eat some pie!”

  The pie-eating finalists are called to take up their positions. Sam is standing at the front of the crowd.

  Sam “Go Billy! Eat like an animal!”

  The starter blows his whistle and the finalists scoff down their pies.

  Sam “Go Billy! Go! Go! Go!”

  Suddenly, the finalists are given a surprise gross pie—asparagus and whipped cream. Some competitors begin to throw up, all except for Billy and the pie-eating legend.

  Sam “Yeah, Billy! Don’t look at them. Keep your eyes on the pie! Eat that asparagus. Remember what you said to me—no pain, no gain!”

  With only seconds to go, it’s clear to everyone that the contest has come down to the wire.

  Sam “C’mon, Billy! Don’t stop now.”

  Finally, an official signals that time is up and announces that Billy has eaten the most pies.

  Sam “That was awesome!”

  Billy “I was this close to chucking up.”

  Sam “Yeah, but you didn’t. You did it! You did it!”

  Billy “What d’ya mean I did it … we did it! ’Cause what are we?”

  Sam and Billy “WE’RE PIE-EATING CHAMPIONS!!!!!”

  bucket A plastic tub that a pie-eating contestant has nearby just in case they have to throw up from eating too many pies—gross!

  champion A person who keeps winning the same event (like pie eating).

  fete An outdoor festival. The perfect place for a pie-eating contest.

  shove When you ram or push something like a pie into your mouth. But remember to chew!

  whipped cream Cream that’s been beaten until it goes fluffy. Not cream that’s been hit with a strap. It’s not as violent as it sounds.

  Wear a bib if you want to protect what you’re wearing. In a pie-eating contest there’s bound to be pie and cream flying everywhere.

  Have something to drink nearby to help wash the pie down. Water or chilled milk is the best.

  Try not to eat anything for at least an hour before a pie-eating contest. Make sure there’s plenty of room in your stomach for all those pies.

  Remember to chew. You don’t want to choke to death and interrupt the entire competition.

  If you find yourself in a messy pie-eating contest that might turn into a pie fight, it’s a good idea to wear swimming goggles. You don’t want to get cream in your eyes!

  Ask if your school can have a pie-eating contest at your next school fete.

  You might want to train for your pie-eating contest beforehand. You’ll need a friend to be a timekeeper. Ask your mum if she’ll let you eat an entire pie one night after dinner.

  The largest custard pie fight ever recorded took place in April 2000. 3312 pies were thrown by 20 people in three minutes at the London Millennium Dome in the United Kingdom.

  In America, sweet pies like apple pie and custard cream pie are usually more popular than savoury ones. At Thanksgiving, lots of Americans eat pumpkin pie and pecan pie.

  Pie-eating contests are sometimes held at school fetes in Australia and at county fairs in America.

  Many comedians use a pie in their performances. Seeing a pie thrown at someone’s face is always funny—but not for the guy who has pie all over his face.

  The meat pie is a popular Australian icon.

  The largest apple pie ever baked was made in 1977 in Washington, USA. The pie dish measured 13.4 metres × 7.3 metres. Now that’s a lot of pie!

  1 How many pies do you have to eat to be a pie-eating champion?

  2 What’s in an apple pie?

  3 What do you call cream and pie flying all over the place?

  4 What buzzes and doesn’t taste half as good as a pie?

  5 What sound does a pie in the face make?

  6 What gets whipped but never gets hurt? Clue: you find it on top of pies.

  7 What could you expect to find in a gross pie?

  8 Billy is a pie-eating champion. True or false?

  How did you score?

  If you got all 8 answers correct, then you have all the makings of a true pie-eating legend.

  If you got 6 answers correct, then you like to eat pies, but at your own pace—while watching someone get a pie in the face.

  If you got fewer than 4 answers correct, then you enjoy eating the occasional pie, but you’d be a better pie-eating coach rather than a competitor.

  Hi Guys!

  We have heaps of fun reading and want you to, too. We both believe that being a good reader is really important and so cool.

  Try out our suggestions to help you have fun as you read.

  At school, why don’t you use “Pie-eating Champions” as a play and you and your friends can be the actors. Set the scene for your play. Bring a stopwatch to school to use as a prop. You might be lucky enough to talk your mum into baking a couple of pies to use. Try not to make too much mess!

  So … have you decided who is going to be Billy and who is going to be Sam? Now, with your friends, read and act out our story in front of the class.

  We have a lot of fun when we go to schools and read our stories. After we finish the kids all clap really loudly. When you’ve finished your play your classmates will do the same. Just remember to look out the window—there might be a talent scout from a television station watching you!

  Reading at home is really important and a lot of fun as well.

  Take our books home and get someone in your family to read them with you. Maybe they can take on a part in the story.

  Remember, reading is a whole lot of fun.

  So, as the frog in the local pond would say, Read-it!

  And remember, Boyz Rule!

  Phil “Have you ever entered a pie-eating contest?”

  Felice “Yes. I’m a pie-eating legend.”

  Phil “Really?”

  Felice “Yep, I love apple pie, apricot pie, lemon pie, pumpkin pie and coconut cream pie.”

  Phil “That’s a lot of pies!”

  Felice “But mostly, I love sea pie.”

  Phil “You mean, like fish pie?”

  Felice “No, see pie. Every pie I see, I eat!”

 

 

  Felice Arena, Pie-eating Champions

  Thanks for reading the books on GrayCity.Net