Enthralled by the darkne.., p.8
Enthralled by the Darkness: Beautiful Deceit, #3, page 8
Crossing the road and heading into Hyde Park, Kade squeezed my hand. A handful of other people littered the green lawns, but the overcast skies had persuaded all but the most determined joggers to head for cover.
“Is this it, Master?” I asked, clutching the two bouquets he couldn’t manage in his left arm.
“Almost.” His jaw tightened as if he was reliving a bad dream. “A little farther into the park.”
“Okay.” My gaze lowered, taking in the electric blue lilies in my hand. “These are beautiful, by the way.”
“They seemed fitting,” he replied. “But I can’t abide traditional white lilies.”
“They’re perfect,” I mused as he guided me to one of the places where he’d slaughtered countless others.
I supposed I should be fearful, disgusted, and concerned for my own welfare, but I’d never felt safer. Kade could have ended me multiple times, but he was right—he had never actually harmed me beyond the erotic torment we both loved him to inflict.
“And the chrysanthemums?” His dark brow cocked as I glanced at the bouquets of orange and pink blooms he carried.
“Gorgeous,” I concluded. “I hope they like them, too.”
“If by they you mean the women who never left this park, then I think they will.” He half-smiled. “I didn’t know them, but who could resist such a pretty offering?”
Kade’s words struck a chord. He had been like those flowers—damn near impossible to forbear, however logical it should have been to resist. He’d infected and taken me over, and what had I done with my one chance of liberation? I’d gone right back to the source of my disease. Cutting Kade out of my life had been unthinkable.
A gust of wind whipped through my damp hair as we turned the corner into a quieter area. Kade led me past hedgerows and behind a clutch of giant oaks until I’d lost sight of the path, and there was no one else to be seen. Even the sounds of the road were diminished in this secluded spot.
“Here.” His tone was heavy as he dropped my hand. “At least two of them ended in this spot.”
My throat dried at his quiet declaration.
“And their bodies?” I could hardly dare to ask.
“Are not here,” he replied matter-of-factly. “But if it’s true that the soul is bound to haunt the vicinity where life was snatched away, their essences may be.”
“Then this seems like a good place, Master.” I didn’t probe him on where he’d hidden the bodies, though the question nagged my brain.
“Yes.” His brow furrowed as he stared at the ground. “I’ve thought about what to say at this moment.”
“And?” It was peculiar to be the one pressing Kade. “Did you choose a prayer, Master?”
“I concluded it was best not to prepare anything but to say what came from my heart.”
“Oh.” Not what I’d expected. Kade was usually meticulous in his planning. I, of all people, knew that.
“You expected more?” His brow rose. “A ritual, perhaps? Chanting and singing? Or maybe you want me to fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness?”
“I... I never said that.” My pulse quickened at his deepening tone. “It’s up to you.”
“That’s right.” His answer was curt. “It is up to me.”
A heavy silence bloomed between us as I struggled with the courage to speak again.
“Go on then...” Catching my lip between my lip, I met his gaze, a dangerous mix of emotions and expectations. “Say what you need to.”
“Is that an order, little girl?”
His gaze pierced me with its usual intensity, and for one terrifying moment, I couldn’t tell if he was angry at my perceived impertinence or merely contemplating the somber task. My heart sped up at the indecision, recognizing that a few short months before, I’d been eager to lead the State’s prosecution, and now, I was worried about what Kade would do next.
What happened to the old me? The one who gave a shit? Yes, I’d been exhausted, but I’d had goals and purpose beyond pleasure. It was a good question. What had happened to me? I couldn’t blame Kade for everything, could I? I was a grown woman, for God’s sake. I’d chosen to go to him, chosen to stay, even after his confession.
Suddenly, the walls of our paradise crumbled around me, revealing the stark and barren reality. I must have lost my mind. Kade had killed people in this very spot, and a few flowers couldn’t condone or forgive his deeds. Nothing could.
Heaving in air, I stumbled backward, allowing the lilies to fall from my hands. I watched as they hit the ground, vaguely aware of Kade lurching in my direction.
“Tiffany?”
Was that concern in his voice?
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine,” I lied, but I wasn’t. Crouching over the damp earth, I could scarcely catch my breath.
I’d been so adamant this was the right thing to do, coming to the city and ritualizing Kade’s contrition, but now that we were there, I was clueless. What difference did it make if he bought blooms and said a few words? Gestures were easy, but the women he’d murdered were never coming back. Worse, I’d been completely ensnared by their killer. Trepidation taunted my belly, revealing the weak-willed woman I really was.
“You are not fine.” Falling to his haunches in front of me, he shook his head as he reached for me.
“Don’t.” I recoiled from his touch, losing my balance and landing on my back. Pain ricocheted in my shoulder, clearing my mind for the briefest second.
How had I allowed this to happen?
Since I was a child, I’d been hellbent on my career and independence. In the blink of an eye, I’d permitted this predator to turn my whole world upside down. I had done that. Kade was many things, but from the day I’d walked into his hotel suite and away from the police, he’d never made me stay. Every day since had been my choice. I’d squandered all the years of work and effort building my reputation and clambering over the old boy’s network... for what?
Desire. The word exploded into my mind as Kade’s eyes darkened. I gave it up for desire.
“Don’t?” His tone was clipped. “Who do you think you’re talking to, little girl?”
He raised a pertinent question. Who did I think I was talking to? Was Kade really my master? The end of my law career? The conclusion of the woman I’d thought I was? Yes, he’d agreed I could still work, but only under all the conditions he’d laid down. My life would never be my own again. I might not be buried in a pit, tossed into a river, or wherever the hell he’d disposed of the women’s bodies, but at that moment, it was well-defined.
I was every inch as much his. His conquest. His possession.
A well of nausea soared at the revelation, and swiveling, I just avoided vomiting all over his shins.
“Jesus, Tiffany!” Kade leapt back, discarding the chrysanthemums in the opposite direction. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t feel well,” I muttered, wiping my mouth with the heel of my hand.
For the first time in forever, I wasn’t inclined to end the sentence with the reverence he expected, and I didn’t care about the consequences. What was he going to do? Kill me as well?
He could, you know... in the same spot.
“Fine,” I mumbled, determined to take a stand. “If that’s my fate, so be it.”
Enough already.
Enough of the underlying fear, of the suffocating arousal, of the thick mists that prevented me from thinking straight. Whether I ever practiced law again or chose to sit in a cardboard box outside Euston Station was up to me. It was my call, my life, and suddenly, I wanted it back—I wanted all of it back.
Maybe it was being there, among the undergrowth where those poor girls had taken their last breaths. Maybe it was the fresh air dissipating the fog for the first time in an age, but something inside me had changed. I couldn’t live like this anymore, wouldn’t do this.
“What are you talking about?” Kade was there with me again, although I swore I never saw him move. “Who are you talking to?”
Turning my face to his, I tried to decipher his expression. Was he angry? Was he scared? Did I even care? I had fallen in love with him, but in doing so, I had lost myself.
“Tiffany.” Reaching for my shoulders, he shook me gently. “What’s gotten into you?”
“You,” I answered with a half-smile. “You got into me.”
It was the most compelling truth of all.
“Are you trying to be funny?”
Storm clouds gathered in his silver gaze, warning me of potential ramifications, but now that I’d emptied my stomach, I felt better, and my thoughts were sharper.
“Why aren’t you referring to me properly?” he growled, leaning closer.
“As my Master?” Even I couldn’t believe my sarcastic tone.
“Yes, as your damn Master,” Kade snarled. “Do you need me to take you across my knee right here in Hyde Park, little girl? Because I will.”
“Oh, I know you will.”
Breaking free of his grasp, I rose to my full height. I was still dramatically shorter than him, yet I seemed taller than I remembered. Buoyed with fresh resolve and a dose of endorphins, I was ready to take him on.
“You do all sorts of things in this park, don’t you, Master?”
Kade stared at me in disbelief. Understandably, he couldn’t fathom how the woman he’d brought into the green space had morphed before his eyes. This one was much more like the lawyer I’d once been, only better. Bolder.
“Last chance, Tiffany.” He was fighting to stay in control, his display of authority almost comical as, once again, he tried to assert himself.
But that was the point, wasn’t it? He only had authority because I chose to give it to him. The power had been mine all along.
“Speak out of line again, and you’re going to find yourself naked and red-bottomed.”
“Do you promise, Master?” Laughing, I strode away from him, heading past the ancient oaks. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I turned and saw him follow.
“Get back here,” he hissed, following me. “We. Are. Not. Done.”
“Actually, we are.” Nodding at a passing runner, I spun to meet my furious lover.
“What?” He spat the word at me, his gaze darting to those beyond the path. Kade was conscious that we now had witnesses within earshot, people who might remember us. Even in London, he wouldn’t get away with dragging me back to the greenery and having his wicked way. We were, after all, the most surveyed country in Europe. I still had no idea how he’d gotten away with his crimes.
“We’re done.”
I’d never felt so sure of anything, so emboldened to make choices for myself. Once upon a time, I had walked into his arms and proactively given up my options, but today, that ended. Kade was no longer the incandescent light in the darkest night. I was. It had been me all along.
“Don’t do this, Tiffany.” Desperation oozed from his every sinew; his discomfort clear for anyone who took the time to notice. “Don’t make me drag you back there.”
“You won’t drag me back.” Confidence radiated from my tone as I moved farther into the open. “You had me, and you lost me.”
“Little girl.” He inched closer, his voice deepening in one last-ditch attempt to evoke the predictable responses he’d always been able to provoke—lust, excitement, anxiety—the demons that had kept me his prisoner. “You have no idea what I am going to do when I get you back to The Savoy.”
“I’m not going back to The Savoy.” It was such a rush to say it to his face, to be clear and calm and in control. “I do love you, and those are feelings I need to work through.” Likely, with the help of a truly world-class psychologist. “But I want to be clear, Kade. I no longer allow those feelings to dominate me.”
“No.” He pulled in a frustrated breath, and I could tell it was taking every ounce of his patience not to pounce. “It’s my job to dominate you.”
“Was,” I corrected. “And a fine job you did, too, but that’s the past.”
His brow furrowed in confusion. Kade had rarely seen this side of me, and apparently, he’d been naive about my capacity to play center stage. The submission had been scintillating, but I had been a fool to think it would be enough. A woman like me needed much more than deference to a man like him. I needed to shine. Suddenly, I was thankful Kade had helped me realize. Rex had never let me shine, either, but all that was about to change.
“When you struck, you took me unawares,” I explained. “I was screwed up, scared, and doing anything I needed to survive.”
“I recall.” His face relaxed. “You were a fucking delight.”
“And you were a predator,” I replied. “A predator I fell in love with.”
“You’re telling me those feelings have evaporated?” His jaw clenched.
“No.” Hadn’t he been paying attention? “I do love you, Kade, but I need more than your ropes and denigration.”
“I know.” He was on the back foot. “We discussed that. I’m going to let you return to work, and—”
Let me. Fury furled. The idea I’d allowed him to control me was hard enough, but the fact I’d enjoyed it... There was no doubt—I needed help.
“I’m sorry, but my mind is made up.” I interrupted. “It’s over, Master.”
As it turned out, the end was far sweeter than I’d envisioned. I’d woken up from a long and disturbing dream. It was time to show my teeth.
Chapter Fifteen
Kade
Watching her walk away, every step cut me like a blade. I wanted to run after her, drag her back to the undergrowth, and make her see sense, but I didn’t. For once, logic dictated conformity. It was the middle of the day, and there were too many people around. An impulsive move would land me back in the authorities’ line of sight—the last place I sought to be.
Better that she proclaimed her freedom and left. Better that she thought she had made a choice and won. Better that I bide my time, but God, it hurt. As she left Hyde Park and strode away, a part of me dissolved inside, threatening tears for the first time since Barrington House.
Barrington House.
I had to go back there, back to the source of all my pain. I’d return, lick my wounds, plan, and regroup. It was the only sane thing to do in insane circumstances.
But standing on the step of the giant door only a few days later confirmed my gut instinct. Being at Barrington was all wrong.
“Mr. Walker? Is that you?”
Startled by the unexpected male voice, I spun to find Noel, my father’s old gardener. Face weathered by the elements and years of manual labor, his gnarled expression drilled into me as a small dog twined around his ankle.
“Noel?” I shook my head in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”
“I work here, boy,” he scoffed, resting on the spade in his hand. “Always have.”
A thousand memories burst into my mind, recollections of the days I’d resided in the crumbling relic of the house... of the things that had happened. Noel’s local lilt unleashed a barrage of ghosts from my past.
“Even after my father...” I paused, unable to finish the sentence.
“Yes, even then.” Noel nodded. “I knew you’d return one day. The place would have been overgrown by then if I hadn’t kept on top of it.”
Glancing around, I acknowledged he was right. The house might be in disrepair, but the lawns and outbuildings were well maintained.
“I hadn’t realized.” Why would the old man work for free? He must be well past retirement age.
“Why would ya?” Noel shrugged as the dog yapped by his side. “You were never here.”
“No.” My brow creased as I watched the tiny terrier.
“Don’t mind Scamp.” Noel chuckled. “He’s harmless.”
Harmless? Scraggy was the word I’d have used.
“Why didn’t you come back?”
“I didn’t want to.” Why was I explaining this to him? “I never wanted to be here.”
“But now?” he probed, inching closer. “You’re back.”
“Yes, I’m back.” I didn’t have to justify myself, but I wanted to. Noel was the final link to the blackened wreck of my childhood. A man who’d known my father, though I suspected, knew nothing of what had gone on inside the walls of the house.
“Good.” Noel’s lips stretched into an ugly smile. “The old girl needs some love.”
I peered around at the old girl he referred to. There wasn’t much love lost between us.
“I can’t promise love,” I muttered, turning back to meet his beady stare. “But I’m back to take what’s mine.”
“You sound just like your father. He was always talkin’ about what was his.” Inhaling slowly, Noel sighed. “You look like him, too.”
“I am nothing like him,” I hissed, gripping the keys in my right hand.
Though even as I responded, a part of me accepted it was a lie. I was more like the low-life son-of-a-bitch than I cared to mention. Cold, callous, and uncaring, he had ripped through other people’s emotions as though he owned them, and in my desperation to escape him, I’d done just the same.
“Aye, well.” Noel didn’t know me, but clearly, he begged to differ. “He would have been glad you’re back. Barrington is ya legacy.”
Tilting his tattered cap in my direction, he hobbled off on ancient, shaky legs, leaving me standing on the precipice. Turning, I shoved the metal into the lock, heart racing as I pushed the door ajar. The house groaned as it creaked open, years of darkness, dust, and shadow finally exposed to the outside light.
“This is going to take a lot of work.”
My voice echoed around the huge hall as I stepped inside, my gaze crawling up the foreboding staircase. In the half-light, I swore I saw a small boy running up the steps, heart pounding as he clambered to the alleged sanctuary of his bedroom. No, it couldn’t be. There were no boys here anymore, only the six-foot-six man contemplating the many dark memories the place provoked.
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my phone and Googled local restoration firms. Breathing life into Barrington was a labor of love I wasn’t prepared to sweat over, but I would throw money at the problem.
