L i f e too, p.22
L.I.F.E. Too, page 22
Cam just nodded as Jane thanked him with a hug. He hadn’t even made it to his car when he received a text from Sam saying that Jane had finally responded to her. She had no idea what Cam had said, but thanked him for helping them both. He was en route home when he changed his destination, his mind already formulating a plan. Pulling up in front of Rider’s house, he sent a message, worried that if he got out the car, he wouldn’t be able to go through with the plan.
“You okay, Cam?” Rider said as he slid into the car.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling. He put the car in drive and pulled away from Rider’s house. “I just finished seeing Jane.”
He laughed as Rider’s eyes went wide, apologizing for keeping it a secret. The best way to get through to her was alone. Rider forgave him with a kiss on the cheek as he explained what had happened in Jane’s room.
“So, where are we going?” Rider asked, looking out the window as they pulled onto the highway.
“With Jane losing her father, it got me thinking about my dad. How he never got to meet you. So, I want you to meet someone,” Cam said, a soft smile on his face.
“Who?”
“My gran.”
The clock on the dash showed 3:30 pm when they pulled into a driveway. The duo had only made one stop en route to fill the tank, making great time covering the distance. Cam climbed out of the car and stretched his legs. As he turned to face the house, he noticed Rider was sitting perfectly still in his seat. He had been quiet since Cam revealed where they were going. He had even declined the bottle of Coke that Cam had bought him. Due to the lack of talking, Cam had managed to drink both twenty-ounce bottles on the journey and now found a large amount of pressure on his bladder. Opening the passenger door, he leaned in so he was inches away from Rider.
“It’s okay, I promise. You’ll love my gran.” Before Rider could start voicing his concerns Cam leaned closer and kissed him. “Now get out the car because I need the toilet badly.”
Knocking on the door, Rider stood behind him. It didn’t take long before his grandmother answered the door, a huge smile on her face as she pulled him into a tight hug.
“Oh, CJ, I wasn’t expecting to see you this weekend. Oh, and you brought a friend with you. Please come in.”
She hurried the two boys into the house, Cam apologized as he ducked into the bathroom just by the door. After relieving his bladder, he took several deep breaths. He had found the week in New York more difficult than he thought he would. Tuesday had been wonderful being able to spend the whole day as a couple. He wasn’t ready to be out at school, but he wanted his family to know so they could be that couple again. As he stepped into the hallway, he found Rider and his grandmother looking uncomfortable. He quickly realized why.
“I’m sorry, Gran, with my need for the toilet I forgot the introductions. Gran this is Rider Williams, Rider this is my Gran.”
“Oh, Rider,” Olivia smiled at the two boys, “it’s a pleasure to meet you. Last time CJ was over at thanksgiving he was telling me about you. He said you made the move to Belmont much easier for him.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you also, Mrs. Walker.”
“Call me Olivia or Gran. Mrs. Walker always made me feel old. Now, you both stop standing there and come into the kitchen.”
Cam and Rider soon found themselves sitting at the kitchen table with milk and warm cookies. He always found it strange how his grandmother always seemed to have just finished baking cookies, even when not expecting anyone. Olivia soon asked about their recent trip to New York.
“It sounds like you had a wonderful time. Did you get to meet up with Trish?”
“Yes, Gran, me and Rider met her on Tuesday. We ended up taking Rider to The Met before our favorite food place.”
“That’s wonderful, such a sweet girl.”
Cam swallowed hard, telling his gran about his relationship with Rider was hard enough without her bringing up his ex. It was the reason he had meant to skip over the Tuesday.
“So, Rider, what did you think of Trish? CJ and Trish use to make such a cute couple.”
“She’s got a big personality, but she’s great,” Rider said nervously. Cam found himself patting Rider’s knee under the table.
“Do you have anyone special in your life? A girlfriend?”
Rider started choking on the milk he had just sipped. Cam pattered his back trying to clear his throat. It took Rider a good five minutes before he was able to even get any words out.
“Erm…no…no girlfriend,” he said, keeping his eyes focused on the table in front of him.
Cam swallowed the lump in his throat. He squeezed Rider’s knee trying to summon up the courage he needed. There wasn’t going to be any better time to bring it up. He turned and smiled at his boyfriend before turning back to his grandmother.
“Actually, Gran, Rider is gay,” he said. Rider shuffled uncomfortably in his seat.
“Oh. I’m sorry, Rider.” Olivia smiled at the smaller boy. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
Cam could see Rider in his peripheral vision, his eyes wide, the blush appearing on his boyfriend’s cheeks.
“Erm…” Cam squeezed his boyfriend’s knee before he slipped his hand into Rider’s. “Gran. This may be difficult for you to hear but…I’m Rider’s boyfriend. I brought him here for you to meet. I hope you aren’t mad.”
He found it difficult to meet his grandmother’s gaze. He could feel Rider’s hand squeezing his. Olivia’s face had dropped into a stern look as she looked over her grandson, her fingers tapping against the cup of tea that had gone cold.
“Cameron James Walker!” she said, shaking her head at him. “I can’t believe you think I would be mad because you found someone who makes you happy.” She burst into a smile. “You really think I have a problem with you dating a guy? I’ve invited your uncle Roy over for every Thanksgiving and Christmas since he was eighteen. Actually, until your father brought you mom back with him, I thought him and your uncle Roy were dating.”
Cam’s head jerked up and his jaw dropped as she burst into laughter. Turning as he heard laughter next to him, he relaxed when he saw the smile on Rider’s face. Cam soon found his hand on the table, Rider’s hand still in it, as his grandmother asked them about their relationship. He had even laughed when she had asked if Trish was a beard for him or if he was bisexual.
“So, let me get this straight, you have been dating this wonderful boy,” her comment caused Rider to go redder than he already was, “since just before Thanksgiving and I’m only finding out now. What happened to letting me know first?”
“I’m sorry, Gran.”
“It’s okay, dear, but please tell me your mother knows. I hate keeping secrets from her.”
Cam soon explained how he had come to terms with his feelings for Rider and how he had come out to his mom when he thought he had lost Rider for good. His gran burst into laughter when he reached the condom story.
“Aww, you poor boys. Of all the ways to tell your mom.” Cam and Rider looked at each other, choosing not to divulge what had happened with Susan. “So, when’s the wedding?”
They went bright red and Olivia laughing again. The rest of the afternoon was spent with Olivia learning more about Rider and also embarrassing her grandson. Cam lost count of how many times he had blushed, especially when Rider had ended up resting his head on his shoulder. By the time the clock chimed 9:00 pm they were well fed, laughed out, and standing by the car ready to head back to Belmont.
“You boys drive safe. Rider, you are welcome back any time.” Olivia pulled them both into a hug before kissing them on the foreheads. “I’m so happy for you both.”
Climbed into the car, Cam was relieved when it started the first time, not want a rerun like during his grandmother’s fall. They both smiled and waved as Cam pulled out of the driveway. Rider was still staring at Cam as they headed southbound.
“What?” Cam kept his eyes on the road.
“I’m just thinking how wonderful my boyfriend is. How brave he was coming out in order to defend his boyfriend.”
Cam blushed hard, taking one hand off the steering wheel to squeeze the Rider’s hand.
“I love you, Cameron James Walker.”
“I love you too, Rider Williams.”
Rider spent the majority of the journey back talking about Olivia and how much he had enjoyed meeting her. Cam couldn’t help but smile, the most important people in his life now knew the truth. They didn’t have to hide their relationship from the people closest to them.
Chapter 27
Rider
Rider walked slowly toward the church. Sam next to him. Cam had dropped them off early so he could pick up Lloyd and Yuki. Rider looked up at the sky. The sun was out in force, not a single cloud in sight. How can it be so nice on such a sad day? In all the films and TV shows, it always rained during a funeral; Rider thought that Jane should have that option.
“You doing okay?” he said, smiling weakly at Sam.
“I think so. I’ve not seen Jane since we split up, but we’ve been messaging each other. That’s a positive step, right?”
Nodding as he pulled open the door for Sam, they both entered the cool church. Jane’s mom Val was speaking to the minister. They both headed in her direction. No words were spoken as Rider and Sam wrapped Val in tight hugs. Some tears slipped out of Val; she was trying to be strong for her to daughters. Sofia was sitting on one of pews, a book in her hands but her head flicking around the church, looking at all the stain glass windows. Val pointed them to one of the back rooms where they would find Jane.
Rider entered first. The friend who was normally so fierce looked so small. Jane sat in a chair, reading over the program of service, her eyes wet from tears. Before she even raised her head, Sam and Rider were across the room. All he wanted to do was hug her, but this was the first time either of them had seen her since the news. Both remained close, waiting for Jane first. A weak smile from Jane was all they needed. They were soon down on their knees embracing her. Rider could hear soft sobbing start again, which resulted in him hugging tighter. After fifteen minutes of uninterrupted hugging, both Rider and Sam stood up, knees hurting from the hard concrete floor.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you away, I shouldn’t have isolated myself when you both mean so much to me. Ri, you’re my best friend, whenever I needed you, you are always there, even when I’m interrupting your date.” Both of them laughed weakly. “I love you, Rider.”
“I love you too, Jane. If you need anything, I’m here for you.”
“Sam. I’m so, so sorry. I was being stupid. You’re the love of my life, every second I spend with you is bliss. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
“It’s okay. Losing someone who meant so much to you has to be painful. I can understand why you needed to be alone, why you needed space…”
“I don’t need space, I need you.” Jane grabbed hold of Sam’s hand and pulled the smaller girl into her lap.
Jane was crying into Sam’s chest, Sam wrapping her arms around her, trying to protect her from the pain. Rider smiled at the reunited couple, nodding his happiness at Sam who smiled back weakly before he left them together. Slowly walking back to the warm outdoors, he saw two sad boys approaching. Rider pulled Cam into a tight hug, finally allowing himself to release the tears he had been holding onto since seeing Jane. He then pulled Lloyd into a hug.
“Where’s Yuki?” Rider asked when he finally released his best friend.
“Oh…erm…he couldn’t make it, sadly. He had to work.” Lloyd looked away, his eyes also wet. “How’s Jane doing?”
“She’s in the church with Sam.”
All three nodded a silent agreement, remaining outside the church. Mourners slid past them, some crying, others reliving the good days. The bell soon chimed for the beginning of the service. As the three boys entered the church, Rider was relieved so see it so full. Ricard had touched a lot of lives. The place was filled with family, friends, and colleagues, even students old and current had turned up to remember the professor. They slipped into the pew, Rider creating a Jane sandwich with Sam. Jane soon pulled Rider closer to her, her arms slipping past Rider and Sam to pull Lloyd and Cam close also. Sam mouthing the words “thank you” to Cam.
He soon found Cam’s hands in his; they were trembling as the service began. Cam smiled weakly at Rider, his eyes becoming wet. Rider broke his hold on Cam’s hands just long enough to get a packet of tissues out of his pocket. The packet soon vanished as all their friends snatched one. After the end of the first hymn, Val was summoned up to the front to say some words about her husband. She smiled weakly at the audience before turning to look at her daughters.
“You all knew what type of a man my husband was, he was a man of a thousand words when only ten would do.” A small wave of laughter circled the church. “I don’t know how many of you know how we met. Ricard was down in Argentina researching a book, I’m sure he was there more for la vacación. One evening he decided to join the poetry night at the University of Buenos Aires, after having listened to around twenty poems about love he wanted to prove to everyone that love poems could be much deeper. This is the poem he read that night, the first time I ever heard him talk, so it’s only fitting I read it today. ‘Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary’…”
Rider smile at Jane who returned a weak one. He had heard the poem before. Although Jane and he used to lived next door to each other for years, they had never interacted until they were in school together. The assignment had been simple, bring in your favorite poem. Rider had chosen Green Eggs and Ham. When it was Jane’s turn to read her poem, he had been caught in awe at the words. The teacher wasn’t as thrilled with her reading The Raven by Edger Allan Poe.
Val was slightly tearful by the time she returned to her seat, Sofia greeting her with a huge hug. Jane was shaking as she rose to her feet. Rider was ready to clamber to his feet if she needed him. As she walked shakily up to the front of the church, her hands clenched into fists as she turned to face everyone. She gave one look at the casket before taking a deep breath in and out. When she started talking, her voice was raw but strong.
“Everyone always says my mother is fierce, I’m fierce, that Sofia is fierce…but it was my father who was fierce, strong, crazy enough to share a house with us three. He was a brave man, he fought for what he believed in and didn’t back down from a fight. He taught me so much in this life and it’s not fair he was taken so soon. Pardon my language here, pastor, but his loss is fucking excruciating…but I’m not giving up. My father wouldn’t want me to. I’m going to fight every single day in his name. My father loved me, and I can feel that love in this room. My last words to my father were ‘smell ya later’, if I had known what was to come, I would have said something different. I would have stayed home that day and spent it with him. If you have a chance to tell someone you love them, don’t waste it, because you don’t know how long anyone has.”
As she returned to her seat, she hugged each of her friends, making sure not to move on till each knew how much she loved them. After another hymn, the pallbearers were called up to carry the casket to its final resting place. Val followed behind with her two daughters. The group followed closely behind, Sam’s hand in reaching distance of Jane. As the coffin was lowered into the ground, Rider’s tears broke. Cam held him close as Ricard was laid to rest.
“Mama, what are they doing to papa? He’s going to be late for work,” Sofia asked, clutching her mother’s hand.
“Papa has gone to visit the angels, but he loves you so very, very much,” Val said, each word filled with raw emotion. Rider couldn’t understand how she could be so strong.
Jane chose to ride with her mother and sister back to the house for the reception, Sam going with them too when Jane refused to release her hand. The drive to Jane’s was quiet, the three boys lost in thought. Greeted by Val at the front door, more hugging transpired as she smiled weakly. Jane and Sam were located in Jane’s bedroom. The three boys walked in and closed the door.
“Thanks for coming, you guys, I don’t think I could have done that by myself.” Jane smiled weakly, each one giving her a strong hug. “But I do have something to tell you all…erm…I may have told my mom about me and Sam.”
Rider’s eyes went wide, a smile on his face at the news. Jane had wanted to be brave like her father, so during the car journey while Sam was distracting Sofia, she came out to her mother. Jane had been worried at first when she saw the tears in her mother’s eyes, but she was pulled into a hug. She had told her daughter that life is too short to not fully embrace it. As long as Jane was happy, then that was all that mattered. The five friends were soon summoned downstairs to interact with other family and friends, and Val made a special effort to make Sam feel welcome. Lloyd was the first to leave, he had never fully known his mother, so the whole day had gotten to him and he wanted to spend time with his father.
“How you doing?” Rider asked Cam.
“Okay, I think. I miss my dad every day.”
“I’m sure he’s proud of you. I know I am,” Rider said, pulling his boyfriend in for a hug.
“Do you mind if we head home? I’d really like to watch the DVD you got me.”
Rider nodded as he squeezed Cam’s hand. “I’ll go say goodbye to Jane and Sam for us, you go get the car.”
Cam left as Rider searched the main floor for the two girls, but he couldn’t find them. He located Sofia who had been trying to sneak away with an ice cream. He promised not to tell anyone if she could tell him where Jane and Sam were.
“I think Juana is in her room.”
“Thanks, Sofia, enjoy the ice cream.”
Rider slipped past an older couple who were heading out of the house and climbed the stairs. As he pushed open the door to say goodbye, he froze at the sight in front of him. Sam and Jane were laying down on the bed, Jane’s lips pressed firmly against Sam’s neck…and her eyes wide as she looked at him.
