Mia, p.4
Mia, page 4
* * *
‘Good morning, Mia.’
On Wednesday, Angus stood as she entered the breakfast room and she didn't bother to tell him to sit down. Mia wondered if she would have been disappointed if he hadn't risen. How quickly she could adapt to chivalry.
‘Morning,' she said briefly. She was still cross with Angus's poor effort at lunch yesterday although Louisa had spoken to her later and raved about how much better that meeting had gone than the previous night. And to think she'd wanted to be a fly on the wall the first night. No doubt the flies had left the room bored witless.
The aroma of his special coffee beans teased her nose and she sniffed reluctantly. At least he made excellent coffee and she wondered if he'd be offended if she wasted it again just to sniff.
When she sat, she could feel the weight of his appraisal and she looked up and glared at him. His eyes widened in surprise and she looked away. As well you might wonder, mister, she grumbled silently to herself. Poor Louisa must dread running into him.
Who did he think he was anyway, putting a damper on the whole house?
Her control, possibly even more tenuous with pregnancy, snapped. ‘I thought you and your dad had worked it out. What happened between you and your father to make you so cold towards him now?’
One thick black brow twitched. ‘You do like to dance around a subject, don't you?’
‘Funny. I'm not in the mood to play games this morning, Angus. If I hadn't been called into work after lunch, I would have said this before now. Now I've lost sleep over how upset I am for Ned and Louisa.’
He sat back in the chair and considered her. ‘I'm sorry you lost sleep about something that's really not your concern?’
‘Snooty pig,’ Mia murmured to her plate. She looked up and met his gaze. Hers challenging. ‘Someone has to stick up for Ned and Louisa. Because
it's not my concern is the very reason I can say what I like.’
‘You think?’ His tone was icy.
‘You can freeze me out, but the cold will bite back.'
‘All a Storm in a coffee cup,’ he quipped, and she rolled her eyes.
‘Spare me,’ Mia murmured. Looked up again, eyes narrowed. ‘Do you have any idea how many times I've heard jokes about my name in my lifetime?’
His deadpan expression suddenly seemed suspicious. ‘Storm by name and
storm by nature?’
She inhaled the coffee steam and it was as good as she remembered. Shame he'd be gone by the time she could actually drink the stuff. ‘You won’t divert me. If you want more of my help I want to know what happened between you and Ned.’
The expression on his face didn't change, but she had the feeling she'd actually penetrated the thick barriers he'd surrounded himself with. ‘So, if I answer your question you just go ahead and ask another one?’
‘I do.’ She held his gaze without flinching. ‘But I’m genuinely interested not looking to gossip.’
He considered her thoughtfully and the silence stretched. She’d almost given up when he said, ‘My mother left my father when I was sixteen.’ He spread his hands. ‘He told me he was too busy to be a good husband.’
She wasn't just surprised he shared, but also dazed by the fact that he sounded like a bored newsreader discussing a famine he had no interest in. She couldn’t think of a thing to say, which was quite okay. He hadn’t finished.
‘She ran away with another man and I blamed my father for working too hard because I didn't want to blame my mother.’ He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Whom I adored blindly.’
‘Poor Ned,' she said.
He inclined his head, but she couldn't tell if he agreed or not. He went on. ‘I fell in lust with Simon's mother and she fell pregnant. My dear father warned me she wouldn't stay with me either. Not what a nineteen-year-old wanted to hear when he was suddenly catapulted to the head of his own house. After a heated discussion with my father, Simon's mother and I left, and my father told me never to return.’
Two silly men with tempers. She hadn’t suspected Ned had it in him but how well did she really know him? That explained that, but something still wasn't right. ‘If you knew Simon's mother was pregnant, how come you didn't know about Simon?’
He rolled his eyes in long-suffering impatience. ‘Because as far as
I was aware the pregnancy ended at twenty-eight weeks.’
She thought about that. Someone had done the dirty on Angus. Simon’s mother?
He rolled his shoulders and rocked his head from side to side as if his neck was stiff, and she wondered if he'd slept at all last night – or was he tense from her questions?
Maybe she should offer a massage. She’d done a masseuse course. That thought started a slow bum she didn't want to think about and she inhaled another wisp of her coffee steam.
In all fairness to Angus, though, it took two to stay estranged. ‘Did Ned ever contact you?'
‘Not his fault. He had no idea where I was. For a long while I wasn't contactable anyway.’ He stood up, properly filled her cup so she could have more steam and then carried his plate to the sink where he rinsed it.
That little action, a tiny thing that Mark had never done in the whole time they'd been together, dissolved any last remnants of anger. Angus topped up her coffee, regardless of the fact she wouldn't drink it, and had put his plate in the sink and rinsed it.
‘What?’ He’d turned and leant back on the sink to study her.
‘You’re house-trained?’
‘It’s not your job, or Louisa's, to look after me.’
His comment did a strange thing to her stomach. Made her look at Angus in a much more favourable light. Thankfully he didn't seem to notice her frozen stare because he was looking down at her fingers where they played with the cup.
He had to have other faults. Apart from his apparent lack of humour.
‘What happened with Simon's mother?’ she asked. Something he did must have driven her away. ‘Did you see she was unhappy?’
He held up his hands in surrender. ‘Do you really want to hear all this old history?’
She was trying to understand the man. ‘Absolutely.’
‘No, I missed it. She was pregnant! I thought she was moody from the pregnancy but I was more excited about the baby than she was. Certainly hadn't expected to have a child at twenty but when it happened, I actually loved the idea I would be a father. I planned to be a good one and really looked forward to the birth. But we only had a little money after bills and she missed the comfort she was accustomed to.’
‘She came from money?’
‘Her parents owned the large hotel on the lake in those days. They kept telling her I was too young, that if I didn’t go to uni and get a decent career I wouldn’t be able to look after her properly.’
‘Why did you think she'd lost the baby?’
He didn't answer immediately, and she thought she might have learned all she was going to, today. Fair enough. She’d pushed and he’d been way more patient than she’d hoped he’d be.
To her surprise he straightened and stared past her to the wall behind her head. As if seeing back into a day he rarely made himself remember. ‘We were living in Brisbane. Learning to be a household with the two of us. She went home for a visit to her parents and two days later she rang me to say she'd had a stillbirth. A son.’
He shook his head and blew out a breath. Glanced at her briefly and then away again so she wouldn’t see the emotion in his eyes. ‘I'd spent the two nights painting a cot and had bought things for the baby to surprise her and now… suddenly our baby was gone. Lost. She said he looked perfect but asleep.’ He curled his lip. ‘Twenty years later I find out she lied to me. Simon was born healthy. Someone else raised my son.’
He spun and stared out the window. Then he looked at Mia and she knew those memories had shaped the man. ‘Later, in my retrieval work, I decided why most people said they grieved better when they could see and hold a child or loved one who’d died. I made it my mission to make it possible for a parent to hold that child, or wife to hold her husband, hug them, for what was going to be the last time they had the chance to touch.’
Mia’s throat stung as she listened. Her hand crept to her heart unable to believe that Simon’s mother had, she hoped unwittingly, caused so much pain by her selfishness.
His eyes were distant. ‘I had none of that comfort. I’d desperately wanted to see my son, but by the time she answered my calls she said the funeral had come and gone.’
He laughed bitterly. ‘I spent years imagining him on each new anniversary of his death. What would he have been like now?’
‘He grew up wonderful,’ she said softly. ‘He’s a good man, like you.’ Their gazes met and his expression shuttered.
Poor Angus. Though she expected he’d hate pity. She wouldn’t pity him. But sympathy...
Yes. To be locked out of sharing his grief while being estranged from his own family as well would have been tough. And he’d been so young.
He looked away and she wondered if he regretted his disclosures. Perhaps now that he'd spoken about the past he could begin to let it go. Begin to be that father to Simon he wanted to be.
The silence grew. She prompted. Pushed her luck because, hey, may as well finish the story. ‘Nineteen years later Simon just appeared?'
He shook his head at her. ‘Terrier,’ he said. ‘His letter arrived while I was in New Guinea. As soon as his mother told him he wrote to me. Part of her pact with her husband included telling Simon the other man was his real father.’
‘That’s...cruel.’
He shrugged. 'I might not have made it back to the lake if Simon hadn't forced my hand. So here I am. Now, if you don't mind, I’ve shared enough.’
Mia subsided, sniffed, and her olfactory cells reminded her how much she enjoyed the scent of fresh java. A change of pace might help. ‘So where—'
He turned and cut her off with the force of his glare.
Mia met his gaze and kept her face perfectly bland. ‘Where do you get your coffee beans?’
He froze, his cheek twitched, but no smile.
‘Nearly.’ She showed him her teeth. ‘I nearly had you.’
‘Touché,’ he said dryly. ‘You jest. Shades of me yesterday.’
She smiled into the cup. 'Yep.’
‘You owe me. Simon may have brought me here but it's your fault I'll have seven days in Lyrebird Lake.’
‘Your choice.’
‘Your suggestion.’
Mia smiled and batted her lashes. ‘I just said you should attend the wedding. You didn’t have to listen. You don't know me from Adam.’
‘Oh, I think I'd know the difference between you and Adam.’ He looked her in the eye and she could see everything he was thinking. Just for the briefest of moments. His grey eyes dark and dangerous and suddenly she was back to her thoughts of him that first day he'd arrived.
She remembered her bathroom fantasy! She could feel the heat of steam on her bare skin and hear the sound from the door that he'd kick shut with both of them trapped inside. Warmth stole up her cheeks and a swooping flutter in her stomach made her want to push out her chair with an urgent need to stand.
He certainly had the means of revenge for any teasing she could manage.
His voice followed her to the door. ‘Are you busy this morning?’ As if he could ask her plans anytime he wished, now that she’d grilled him.
Brain? Where was her brain? The cells slowly churned into action. ‘I've a breathing and relaxation class with a new couple.’ Thank goodness for an iron clad excuse not to be tempted into anything with this man, she thought.
‘Breathing.’ His chin poked out. ‘I'm very interested in that. Did my obstetric rotation years ago and there's something very special about the moment of birth, especially a calm one.’
The words were right but she couldn’t put her finger on exactly what made her wary. ‘An important skill to have,’ she agreed. Where was this going?
‘Any chance of tagging along to listen? One of the medics at the base and his wife rave about breathing exercises.’
Her stomach dropped. Oh, she'd been right to be wary but could she think of a single good reason why he couldn't come? Nope.
‘Mia?’ he prompted.
She paused with her back to him, screwing her face up out of his sight. ‘I'm leaving at ten o'clock on the dot.’
Chapter 9
Mia
* * *
‘This is Dr Campbell. Or Angus. He's Dr Ned's son and works for the armed forces in disaster relief.’
Angus held out his hand to Paul. Then to Mia's surprise he smiled engagingly at the pregnant Josephine. ‘I hope you don't mind me listening in. I'm very interested in Mia's relaxation skills.’
Paul shrugged easily. ‘No problem. The forces, eh? I'm up at the mine. Site manager. My wife Josephine is a schoolteacher.’ Paul scratched the side of his mouth. ‘Do you fly?’
Angus nodded. ‘Mostly helicopters, or nothing bigger than a twin in fixed wing, anyway. What about you?’
Paul looked proudly at his wife. ‘Jo and I met at the aero club. She restored her own Tiger Moth. Her dad’s an aircraft engineer so he supervised. I fly an Auster.'
The smile Angus showed them was the most genuine Mia had seen. 'You both fly rag and tube aircraft? That's great. I’d love to come up with you one day. Maybe you'd like a trip if the chopper comes down tomorrow. They'll be dropping me back late afternoon and we could go up then.’
So now he was the life of the party, Mia thought grumpily. Umm excuse me, you bunch of fly people, this is an antenatal class. But everyone ignored her.
‘Paul can go.’ Jo looked down at her tummy ruefully. ‘I'm too fat to climb into helicopters.’
‘Maybe I'd better not go.’ Paul’s smile died at the chance the treat might go away and Jo shook her head.
‘You go, but if I go into labour while you're away you better fly back quick smart.’
‘When are you due?’ Angus checked his watch for the time, as if Jo would have the baby then and there, and they all laughed, except Mia.
‘You've got two weeks.’ Jo patted her stomach. ‘You should be fine.’
He glanced at Mia, who wasn't quite tapping her foot, but he must have picked up on her let’s-get-show-back-on-the-ground vibe. ‘Better fade into the background,’ he murmured.
‘Sorry, Mia.’ Paul smiled easily. ‘You know what we flying types are like.’
Not till now. ‘Obviously friendlier than other types. I've never seen Angus so animated,’ she said dryly.
With the flight bonding session over, Jo led the way into the sitting room where they sat around a low table. Mia put some charts down and tried to put Angus's presence into the back of her mind.
She could ignore him.
As if he really could fade into the background.
How dare he be so friendly to these people he didn't know and not to his own father? She needed to get over this and concentrate. It wasn't her problem. She'd done this antenatal spiel dozens of times, believed it passionately, and could carry it off even with him sitting there. She knew she could.
‘Let's get started, then.’ Angus clasped his hands on his lap and tilted his head like a teacher's pet. As if she’d been holding everyone up.
She would kill him later.
She concentrated on Jo. ‘In labour you have subconscious resources,’ she began and thankfully her voice wasn't too wobbly with these unexpected nerves. ‘Resources our bodies use outside our control. Visceral responses. Like our heart rate—around eighty beats a minute usually, but it can increase to a hundred and twenty or more if we're emotionally upset or scared.’
She couldn't help the quick glance she shot at Angus, the perfect example of someone who seemed capable of creating a fight-or-flight response in her, even when unwarranted. She looked away before he saw her and hurried on.
‘Like thinking about labour and getting palpitations?’ Josephine said and Paul squeezed his wife's hand.
Paul squeezed back. ‘Or thinking about the fact that Jo wants to have a home birth instead of one in the hospital.’
‘Exactly.’ She smiled at Josephine and Paul for allowing her to refocus on the discussion.
‘Your body is served by two main nervous systems, the fight-and-flight adrenalin sort when you're uptight and scared, and the relaxation response endorphin when you feel safe and calm.’ She paused and the couple nodded, so she went on. ‘Because you can't release both adrenalin and endorphins at the same time, can't be alert for danger and relaxed at the same time, you need to learn to choose relaxation as the way of stimulating the response to keep you calm. Then you can allow your labour to progress efficiently and as painlessly as possible.’
‘I'm all for that,’ Josephine said, ‘and it wouldn't be bad for Paul to learn for when I ring my mother long distance. He definitely gets pain then.’
Mia bit back a laugh and noted Angus's lips twitched. ‘It's a skill you can and should use for life. During a relaxation response your blood vessels dilate. In pregnancy your uterine blood flow is improved, and your baby is happier. Pregnant or not, your breathing slows and you're ready for sleep or daydreaming.’
Paul looked fondly at his wife. ‘She's like that most of the time.’
‘You're just jealous, Paul,’ Mia teased. ‘I'll show you how to do it too. This is where we talk about mindset and breathing.’
Angus watched her, still with polite attention, but it was as if he watched her lips form the words more than he heard what she said. He made her aware of the way her mouth moved, conscious of the facial expressions she used, and her whole body seemed more alert and awkward than usual. She closed her eyes briefly and re-centred herself. She could and would ignore him.
‘Relaxation is helped by lots of things. You can imagine a perfect place. Maybe that place is under a tree, under a sky full of stars or on a deserted beach. Similar to that feeling you have towards the end of a really wonderful massage and you know your arm would just drop back if someone picked it up and released it again.’
