His fire inside, p.13
His Fire Inside, page 13
A quick shower and I dress even more quickly. I’ll need to cut my workout short this morning in order to get to breakfast with the mayor and a few VIPs from the festival on time. Olivia is still sleeping. I open my door, then hers, then go back to my room where I pick her up. She sighs again as she snuggles into me. Damn, this is hard putting her down, she feels so good in my arms, so right. You don’t have time for this, I tell myself as I look down at her. I pull back her sheet and comforter then tuck her in. Shifting in her sleep, she murmurs my name. Tonight, sweetheart, I’ll be back soon. With a last caress of her cheek, I walk out of her room—and right into my mother. Shit.
She smiles, not smug, or overjoyed just a simple smile. “Good morning, dear. Have a good day.” Then she kisses me on the cheek and goes into the kitchen and starts making coffee.
I decide not to press my luck and leave. As I get into my car the cold sweat I expected at my mother finding out I was fucking Olivia—there was never any doubt she would find out, I was just hoping for much later—is nowhere to be found. There is no anxiety or worry at what she’ll say when she knows I don’t have to be somewhere immediately.
I’m fucking Olivia; we’re both adults. I don’t like that we’re doing it under my mother’s roof, but it’s done and I’m not about to stop until Olivia tells me. And I’m not going to go down on one knee either. My mother will have to accept that, I think she already did.
***
Olivia
The very loud banging of a hammer wakes me from a dead sleep. Cranky, I roll over to find out the time. The sight of the clock has me springing up. Ten? No way. I snatch up my phone but it’s the same story, ten minutes after ten. Damn, I slept through Rourke’s alarm, wait, how am I in my bed?
Ah, he carried me to my bed. No. Stop it, don’t get all goopy over him, he did it so his mother wouldn’t find me in his bed. You are making love, he’s fucking. The minute you forget that is the minute he’ll crush your heart into a fine dust. I lecture myself sternly.
My shower is quick today. I’m going to see if I can draw more out of Cheryl today and find the best way to help her. After three weeks I really thought I would have moved us beyond sitting on the couch, yet she hasn’t expressed an interest in anything I can grab on to.
Going into the kitchen, I’m shocked at the difference from yesterday. Since the hammering just woke me up, I hadn’t thought it would be so changed already. Cheryl motions me to her in the living room. “My dear, the kitchen is unusable for today. Let’s go out for brunch, shall we?”
“Sounds good. Let me change out of this then. I was just going to wear it around the house.” I look down at the threadbare sundress. I’d been surprised I’d gone down a size already, into a fourteen. I guess all the swimming helped.
Our meals have also come from one of those meal delivery services popular in Austin. Although there were a few times I broke down and made a run to the store to get stuff to make fideo, my mom’s guilty pleasure, and did some cooking, I mostly ordered the meals I liked, per Cheryl’s instructions. While there is lighter fare for people dieting, there were also the full calorie meals and I ordered off both menus.
Although I’m happy about the weight loss, a part of me is holding my breath for when it comes back on. In my next job I’m not likely to be able to spend hours swimming in a pool or have healthy food ordered in weekly. The way I’m eating and exercising now isn’t normal. So how am I going to maintain the weight loss when I leave here in five months? With a sigh I shrug, I’ll figure it out later.
“You look fine, just grab some shoes. I’m starving.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I see she already has the door to the garage open, the one that opens off the living room. I hear the garage door going up by the time I’m back in my sandals with my purse.
She’s happy behind the driver seat. I close the car door then put on my seat belt. “Where are we going?”
“How does that one dive sound, I can never remember the name, they have the best biscuits and gravy though. It’s under I-35 connected to the hotel.”
“Oh yes, I love that place. I’m in love with their biscuits and gravy too. Sounds yummy.”
“Hopefully since it’s a weekday it won’t be too busy at this time of day. Then again with all those festival people you never know.”
“Ugh, so true. You know I’ve never heard you really talk about the festival negatively at all.”
“That’s because I’m a good, supportive mother, so if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. I quite agree with you about the festival.” She sighs. “Then again, the money and the attention it brings to the city allows for other things to have a spotlight shined on them. Like Ryan’s House, and the homeless problem we have. It is a huge plus, without the festival it would be harder to get problems in front of people.”
“Ryan’s House, and the LGBTQ community does come away with a lot of money every festival season. I’m always surprised, happily so, to hear about it.” Ryan’s House is actually a number of houses where youth who identify as LGBTQ can go to safely live off the streets, then get help transitioning out on their own. The teenagers are helped with college courses, GED testing, and even apprenticeships and internships.
“Yes, Rourke spends hours pressing for money to go to it. It’s his most personal charity he runs.”
“Ryan’s House is Rourke’s charity? I had no idea.” The idea of a man as thoroughly alpha male personified as Rourke starting a charity in memory of a gay teenager has me cringing from my reverse discrimination.
“Oh yes, Ryan’s House was started in memory of one of his best friends. Ryan was kicked out of his home when he came out to his parents. We were happy to take him in, his parents were never very supportive, and Ryan spent many days and nights in our house. But Jeff, Ryan and Rourke’s other best friend—it was always the three of them—his parents offered before we could. They were great people, which is why it’s so hard to believe what Danny, their other son, did to Ryan and Jeff. Danny had no idea Ryan was gay, but when he found out he became enraged and beat both Ryan and Jeff in the middle of the night. Thankfully, Jeff survived, but Ryan died that night.”
“Oh my god, that is so awful. I knew the charity was named after a boy who died because he didn’t have somewhere safe to go after his parents found out he was gay, but I never knew the whole story. How awful. Poor Rourke.”
“It hit him hard. The three of them were like brothers. It’s the reason why we let him go to Stanford at sixteen instead of giving it another year as we had originally wanted. Rourke needed space and a new focus.”
I nod as I wonder what Rourke had gone through. Once we get to the diner, we see it’s only a little busy. We’re seated quickly, where we both order coffee and biscuits and gravy and split an order of scrambled eggs.
“Just a warning in case Rourke starts acting all jittery and remote: I walked into him coming out of your room this morning. I didn’t say anything, except good morning and that I wished him a good day.” Oh god, I blush so red I get dizzy. Cheryl laughs. “I thought it was quite sweet of him to carry you to bed to allow you to sleep. He didn’t say anything; he shot out of the house like a bullet though.”
“Um...” I can’t think of anything to say. Thankfully, I’m saved by the waitress bringing us our coffee. “So, talk to me about what you used to do with your days before the stroke. We haven’t really talked about it. Am I keeping you from something you used to do? Is there something I can help you with?”
She shrugs as she fixes her coffee. “Mainly I would just knit. My neighbor got me into it. We would knit blankets for the homeless in her daughter’s city of Rochester, there was a charity that distributes them. I liked to bake, cookies and pies, and would share them with my friend who moved to one of those old people communities, but she died and my neighbor moved away. So lately, I haven’t done much of anything. I enjoy reading and watching television. I never used to watch television, but I love the Netflix thing Rourke got me.”
“You can still make blankets by crocheting. I’m sure it will be easy to find the charity online. Is there something you’d like to do? Since you like reading, have you thought about a book club? There are dozens around the city.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’ve tried book clubs before, but everyone was so full of themselves they annoyed me so I never went back. Sure, I can make blankets, it’s nice to keep busy while I’m watching television. What do you like to do other than reading? I noticed you don’t leave the house much on your days off. Do you have any hobbies?”
This lady is slippery for sure. I shrug. “Mainly just reading. Usually I’m balancing school with work, so there hasn’t been time for much else. I missed the enrollment deadline for this semester, I’ll make sure not to next time.”
“Hmm...will you?” A single eyebrow goes up.
I’m thrown by her doubt. “Of course, I had just found out—I. Okay, I don’t know if I will or not. I’m not sure about doing the RN thing now. I love what I’m doing already. I don’t really want to go into a hospital environment where it’s chaotic, with dozens of patients and mandatory ten or twelve-hour days.”
“But can you really see yourself going from one home to another for the rest of your life? Don’t you want to settle down and make your own home? Do you want children?”
I’m saved by our plates coming out. When I look up Cheryl is waiting, she’s not going to let me move on to the next subject. “I don’t know. There’s how you think life is going to go, then there’s what actually happens. I always saw years spent getting my degree, then maybe in my mid-thirties I could slow down and meet someone and a few kids sounded nice, but then I also wondered, could I have kids and be a good mom and doctor? Then the dream changed: as weird as it sounds, I wanted to be a mom but I didn’t want or even see a guy in the picture.
“My ex, he, I don’t know. I thought he was a good guy, no saint or anything, but how could I have been so wrong? How can I trust the next guy won’t be one thing in the beginning, then become someone else completely? I knew Connor for seven years before I ever kissed him. He was my brother’s friend. I know he wasn’t my friend, and there were things I might have missed, but to be so wrong? I don’t know.”
She nods thoughtfully. “I can understand that, dear. My first husband, while I didn’t know him long before we were married, seemed so nice and sweet, as if he wouldn’t hurt a fly. There are no guarantees in life. I think you have to go with your gut, because my gut warned me about my first husband. I ignored it, though, because of his appearance and my need to please my mother. What did your gut tell you about your ex-husband?”
“That it was wrong to marry him. I thought it was because deep down I knew I didn’t love him. Only he acted like he loved me so much I was sure eventually I would grow to love him.”
“So, we didn’t listen to our guts and we paid for it. That’s why now I don’t listen to anything but my gut instinct. It’s the reason why I agreed to dinner with Emilio and said yes to marrying him after only a week. I just knew it was right for me. You have to do what’s right for you, that’s all that matters.”
If only... My gut is telling me I’m in love with Rourke, a man who refuses to commit because of a deep-seated belief that almost caused a rift between him and his mother. How in the hell is this going to turn out good?
After brunch we wind up in a furniture store, as Cheryl is convinced it’s time to let go of the blue furniture. It’s here I find out blue was Emilio’s favorite color. I understand completely now all the blue in the house. I assure her just because she’s taking away the blue, it doesn’t mean she’s removing her husband.
My cell phone rings as I look around to find out where I lost Cheryl in the huge showroom. It’s Rourke. I smile as I answer. “Hey.”
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Mmm...not bad. I’m in a furniture store the size of a football field with your mom. She thinks it’s time to get new furniture. I’ve lost her though.”
“I’m sure she’ll turn up. Tonight is supposed to be a late night, if I’m lucky I’ll be out of the event by midnight. I’m sure Mom mentioned she ran into me leaving your room. Since she knows, I’m not going back to sneaking around. Even though I know midnight is too late to expect you to stay up waiting for me, I want you in my bed when I get home tonight.”
I’m biting my lip trying not to laugh. “Since you asked so nicely, Mr. Vega, then I’ll give it some thought. I’ll let you know once I’ve made up my mind.”
“Big talk when I can’t get to you. If you aren’t in my bed, prepare to deal with the consequences.” He growls in my ear. I shiver even as I blush.
“Well, when you make it sound so appealing, how am I supposed to make up my mind?”
He laughs. “You are such a smart-ass. I think I might have to come up with a new punishment for you.”
“Yes, please.”
“What? No, I’ll be right there.” He sighs. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I have to go. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Bye,” I whisper as he hangs up. With a happy glow I go off in search of Cheryl.
I fall asleep just like I was afraid I would. I come awake as Rourke pulls me into his arms. “Sorry, I fell asleep,” I mumble.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Go back to sleep, I’m exhausted. I just sleep easier with you in my arms,” he whispers as he holds me close.
With a smile I fall back to sleep within seconds, the feel of him all around me the scent of him in every breath I take. I want to fall asleep like this forever.
I’m woken by the alarm. I reach to turn it off as Rourke groans in my ear. “Thank you.” The words rumble out of him as he pulls me back into his arms.
“For what?” I murmur as I run a hand down his arm. One hand is flat against my stomach, while the other is running teasingly over a breast.
“For turning off the alarm and being here when I came home last night. You can be a good girl after all.”
“Hmm...I was only a good girl because I wanted to be bad with you. I’d even taken a nap yesterday so I could stay up for you.”
“Well in that case...” No more words follow as he pushes into me from behind. Oh god, that feels amazing. His first few strokes are deep, pushing as far as he can go as his fingers toy with my nipple. Then he slows until he moves inside me almost leisurely, as if we have all morning. I moan in protest. His mouth is on mine, his hand sliding up around my neck to hold me for him.
The kiss is a soft, slow mimicry of his cock inside me. Teasing, drawing my tongue into his hot mouth while driving me to the edge of exploding again and again. “Please,” I moan into his mouth, desperate now. “I need you.”
His hand slides down to my hip to hold me in place for his rougher, deeper thrusts. Yes, please. Harder, then he moves, tilting me to meet his next thrust and I can’t control the “oh god” that is pulled from me. Rourke’s mouth is back on mine, swallowing my moans as he moves inside me, driving me out of my mind, yes, more, more, fuck yes. I scream into his mouth as I hit my climax.
I cling to him as the shudders overtake me. Rourke is still moving inside me, faster now, reaching for his own orgasm. He feels so good I can’t keep from clutching at him, desperate to keep him inside me. A groan escapes him as he comes deep inside me; the feeling of him hot, thick, flooding me has me trembling. A few slow strokes, then Rourke moans as he pulls me tight against him. Our bodies are still vibrating, and slowly they still together.
“Hmm...now I’m saying thank you.” I sigh.
“You are such a smart-ass, always have to have the last word.”
I laugh. “Yep, it drove my brother crazy.”
“I can only imagine. I want you moved in here tonight.”
My laughter stops, and I go still. “I don’t know about that.”
Rourke rolls me under him. Capturing my wrists, he holds them above my head. “What is there to know? Mom knows already; I’m not hiding anymore. I want you in my bed every night.” I’m fighting to find the words to respond, then he slays me when his eyes glint as he nuzzles my neck. “When you’re in my arms I sleep better, I feel better. I’m not giving that up when you’re only a few feet away from me.”
Only Rourke could be so sweet and such an arrogant asshole at the same time. To avoid sounding like an excited little girl, I huff like I’m annoyed, then nod. “Fine.”
“Such a good girl. I’ll reward you tonight,” he whispers as he nips at my earlobe. Then he rolls out of bed, wrapping his robe around him to go take a shower. God, his body is a masterpiece, so beautiful, even with the scar. Happy, content, I’m asleep before he’s back, waking briefly when he kisses me goodbye.
***
Rourke
Mom is sipping her coffee when I come out of my room, dressed for the day. I lean down to kiss her cheek. “Morning. Just so you know, I’m moving Olivia into my room. I want her in my bed when I come home at night and when I wake up in the morning.”
“Okay, dear. Sounds good. Have a good day.”
Her placid response throws me. I was prepared for a lecture, a sigh of disappointment, something more. “Mom? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m trying not to be too happy because I promised myself I’d let you and Olivia progress on your own without getting in your business. Now go before I can’t wipe the smile off my face.”
I laugh, relieved to hear her reason. “All right, I’ll see you later.”
Fuck, it feels like this day is never going to end and it’s only two. I check my phone. I want to call Olivia, to hear her voice. Only I called her the day after our first night together, the whole time telling myself it was out of concern for her. Yesterday, I told myself it was to make sure she was in bed when I got home. Really, it’s because I hate going so long without hearing her voice. Which is not the casual, nights-only way we should be. Screw it, I hit send, needing to connect with her.
“Hey,” she answers, breathless.
