Retrospect the reckoning.., p.1
Retrospect: The Reckoning of Mac Scott, page 1
Retrospect
THE RECKONING OF MAC SCOTT
AJ FORTON
Copyright © 2024 by AJ Forton
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
I would like to acknowledge my indebtedness to the various movie quotes that have enrichened Mac Scott’s character, along with my firm favourite song, ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ which made its way into my prose. This novel wouldn’t be the same without your inspiration.
Dedication
To Mum – my biggest fan, supporter, and cheer leader. Without you this book wouldn’t have happened. I mean, literally, it wouldn’t - because you made me. Good job!
To all the queers who grew up dreaming of representation in books.
To all the readers and writers, where would I be without you all?
To Dolly, my very own Savannah.
Acknowledgments
WITH AFFECTION, FROM THE AUTHOR…
Dolly Murton, Sue Forton & Maggie M Bailey – Beta readers, proof readers, typo ninjas, and all-round awesome people, thank you for your patience.
Maggie, thank you for teaching me the difference between finger tips and fingertips. You were right, there is a very important difference!
May Dawney – Book cover designer extraordinaire, wizard, and my awesome friend.
Congratulations to Lee Ann Gray, who won the character naming competition I held.
Elizabeth Ann Turner, was so much fun to write, and a perfect addition to the Retrospect family.
A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.
Christopher Reeve.
Contents
1. Promise
2. Dominion
3. Brainstorm
4. Special Delivery
5. Fanaticism or Fear
6. Ripple Effect
7. Aldershot
8. Sisterhood
9. Kate ‘Dixy’ Dixon
10. Window in Time
11. The Gathering
12. Time
13. Torture
14. Has the Fat Lady Sung?
15. A Mother’s Love
16. Subterranean Hell
17. Ultimatum
18. Anamnesis
19. Genesis
20. Brothers in Arms
21. Hook, Line, and Sinker
22. Fool’s Paradise
23. Till Death Do Us Part
24. Alfred ‘Shall-Fred’ Slone – Part 1
25. Alfred ‘Shall-Fred’ Slone – Part 2
26. I am Mac Scott
27. And I Have Come for You
28. Almost
29. The Triangle, The Truth
One Year Later
About the Author
Also by AJ Forton
Chapter 1
Promise
Tyres crunch on gravel, the sound getting quieter and quieter until nothing. Nothing but the soft swish of the wind against the grass, its icy breeze doing nothing to calm the scorch of panic flaming across my skin.
“Mac, do you copy?” Alfred grumbles.
“Max – respond, we can’t come out of the house until we know your demon daddio is gone.” Dixy hisses.
Somewhere inside, I am trying to respond to the humming of words inside my ear. I’m trying to make my mouth form words but my brain is stuck skipping like a record player on the same revolving words. Words that have dismantled my mind, stomped on my heart and severed any naïve thread of hope I briefly possessed.
“I am marrying Anna!”
“No, Mckenna – you are not, because you are already betrothed to Damon.”
The buzz of meaningless incomprehensible words hum inside my ear. I squeeze the handle of the flight case in my fist so tightly the cool metal digs into my palm painfully and yet it’s not enough to ground me as I feel my mind begin to swirl. I close my eyes only to see his deep-set dark eyes, for once, gazing down at me with a sickly softness. I feel the water gush into my mouth and seize inside my lungs, squeezing the life out of me.
Damon.
This is why he did all he could to stop my ascension, why he was so determined to end my life. He knew. He knew all along and I didn’t. How could I have not seen this coming? It was right there, hiding between every hideous word of Barrett’s speech and I missed it. A cold feeling sweeps over me that has nothing to do with temperature, like my soul is being sucked out through my belly button leaving me completely hollow inside. It's a feeling I’ve felt before, just not quite so intense. My mind remembers the emptiness and flits back to the moment so fast that I barely register my mind begin to swirl.
As we walk past each door, I hear the bangs and taunts of prisoners as they leer at me through the narrow slither of a window in the centre of each door. We stop outside a door and the guard opens it, I step inside the cell; it is neat, cramped and it smells of urine. Exactly what I expected, but somehow, worse. I turn around and face the guard and hold up my wrists, she unlocks the handcuffs and I step back.
“Welcome, to HM Bronzeford,” she says coolly.
The door shuts in my face, the locks turn.
“Mac-attack, this is your fiancée. If you don’t find a way to answer me in the next five seconds then there isn’t a soul in this house that will be able to stop me from -”
Air wooshes into my lungs so hard and fast I swear I can see stars blinking in front of my eyes in the rush. The memory dissolves and I wobble on my feet as I slide back to the now. That gravelly voice and playful bossiness laced with concern is enough to make me just… breathe.
“Anna? H-how are you inside my ear?”
“She is whispering sweet nothings into my ear. It’s really rather sexy and not making me at all un-com-fort-able.” Dixy replies, breaking up the syllables to emphasise her point.
The vision of Dixy cringing at the invasion of personal space as Anna whispers into her ear would definitely make Dixy all levels of uncomfortable and I almost laugh. I can’t quite manage it but it does help to establish some grasp of reality, grounding me, placing me firmly in the now. I realise that there is a family of people waiting in that house, my family. And though it feels like I may have been standing here for hours, it’s only really been minutes. But it is minutes, nonetheless, that they’ve been waiting, probably with breaths held just like mine. The thought kickstarts my brain.
So much just changed in those mere minutes.
“Dix, did she hear... does she know?” I ask roughly, my mouth dry as a bone.
“Negative grasshopper, now take a breath. I’m guessing we’re clear to leave the house?”
I look down at the steel flight case still clutched in my hand and suddenly the weight of whatever is inside feels too much to bear. It’s all too much to bear. All I want is to see Anna, my fiancé. I know that if I do then somehow, I’ll stop feeling like the world is crumbling down around me. But Anna doesn’t know and I have mere moments to decide what to tell her, or not to tell her.
“Dix, we are clear. I need to talk to Anna b-before … anything else. Can you tell her to meet me at the barn please? I wouldn’t expect me to be coming back out anytime tonight. And can you make sure my mum gets home safe? And make sure she is okay before she’s left alone?”
“Of course, Max. Don’t worry, I’ve already got that covered. After all, how else am I going to get a cup of her famous monkey tea?”
This time, I manage a smile.
“Thanks Dix. Houston, we have a problem.” I mumble, shutting down my comms from my earpiece and allowing the silence to swallow me.
My body trembles as I walk down to the barn, or maybe I am shivering without the ability to feel the cold. As I walk, it’s impossible to keep my eyes off the barn roof. The threads of multicoloured fairy lights still beam my proposal for the world to see because I wanted to ‘scream it from the roof tops.’ My heart swells, and then deflates. Anna said yes, she agreed to be my wife and for a few blissful hours that’s all that mattered. It was as if there was no Barrett, no Culling, no weight of the world pressing down on me. I was just Mac, finally Mac, and feeling like the luckiest person in the world. And now…
My footsteps falter slightly as I register movement out of the corner of my eye. Anna half strides, half runs past the fire pit and into the barn. I feel that gravitational pull, that need to be near her – to touch her – pulling me in. At the sight of her it’s like a switch flicks inside me, and my feet pick up the pace. I know what I have to do. I just hope that I have the strength to do it.
As I walk into the dimly lit barn, I find Anna pacing. She freezes mid pace, wide-eyed and huffs out a breath. All I want is to scoop her up and run far, far away. I drop the flight case and she closes the gap between us before I can take more than half a step towards her. I can’t hold her tight enough. She clings to me, buries her face in my neck, and then her body jerks, tears trickling down my neck.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here.”
“No, it’s not. Please Mac, I need you to do something for me before you say anything else! Please?”
“Anything, always. Tell me what you need.”
Anna pushes against me, leading me backwards till my back thuds against the barn door. Her eyes never leave mine and I am powerless to
“I can’t hear what he said! I can’t know what’s inside that case! I can’t know anything except tonight, you asked me to marry you, and I said yes. The answer will a-always be yes, because you are w-what my heart beats for, too-”
Anna’s voice sounds like grit and molasses, the pain cutting sharply at my insides as it slithers down, and the sound burns deep down in my gut. I take her hand and kiss the twinkling engagement ring before looking back at her. And I can’t even question it; her gaze is fixed on mine brimming, with pain but burning with something else entirely. I barely hear the bolt slide and clank as Anna locks us both inside.
“Mac, I need tonight to just be about that. About us. So please, forget he was here. Forget everything except anything you would have done tonight had he not come. Just give me one night where I’m not scared it will never... that we will never… P-please.”
Anna begins to fall apart, and I can’t do it. All of my resolve crumbles. I can’t do it to her, and I can’t do it to myself, because tonight is for us. Whatever happens next, tonight is just for us. Anna makes the move to bury her face in my neck once again only this time, I stop her, capturing her cheek in my hand.
“I don’t want to hear you beg me for anything ever again, do you hear me?! That wasn’t acceptable before, it certainly isn’t now that you are my fiancé.” I order firmly.
Anna almost looks startled for a fraction of a second but then takes a deep shaky breath, her eyes darkening to a deep forest green. Even in the dim light of the barn I know it’s that green that I’m totally weak for. She dips her forehead against mine and traces her fingertips across my lips.
“I hear you… Oh God, I hear you.”
I can feel how much she needs me to kiss her – it’s bursting from her – and only intensifying my need to take her. It requires all my will not to roughly pick her up and take her to bed. Instead, I pull her to me, and wait for her to calm. It doesn’t take long. I wrap my arms securely around her, my hand holding her face to my chest as I rub her cheek with my thumb. She melts into me, I feel everything begin to slow down, and finally Anna sighs contentedly. She cranes her neck and her lips press hotly against my throat just once, and then a smile blooms on my lips. I press mine to her forehead and Anna pulls back a little.
“Thank you…”
“Don’t…” I place my finger over her lips. “I have plans for us tonight. I would much rather you thank me for those instead.” I smirk daringly and Anna quirks a questioning eyebrow.
I unwrap my arms from around Anna and turn her away from me so she is facing the inside of the barn. I walk a few steps away, and with the flick of a switch the barn brightens. I hear her gasp just as I turn around to see the barn, which now glows romantically. Each and every banister on the upper level of the barn is illuminated with fairy lights. On the ground level they wrap delicately, lacing around the pallet bed, twinkling pearly white, the brand-new white sheets are in stark contrast to the scarlet red rose petals scattered across them. The room is still quite dark in places, but the place has a warm glow.
“Mac, I… it’s beautiful.”
I turn to find her bright, smiling eyes and my chest warms with satisfaction. I make a mental note to thank Pa and Dixy for helping me pull this off so quickly and perfectly. I take Anna’s hand in mine and lead her over to the desks in the middle of the room. Her eyes are on me as I take a lighter from my pocket and begin lighting the big pillar candles that sit in the centre of the desks. In their soft flickering light, I spot the bottle of champagne and champagne flutes waiting with a black satin box. The sight of the box tied with a matching bow makes my stomach back flip and my mouth water. I busy myself popping the cork on the champagne and filling the glasses to give me time to calm the nerves and excitement pounding in my chest. Then I turn to Anna and hand her a glass. She takes it with delicate fingers that tremble slightly.
Anna takes a long slow sip of her champagne. She tips her head back showing the gorgeous arch of her neck, the tendons tightening with the motion, and my throat dries. As she dips her head back down, swallowing the sweet fizz, she licks her lips and heat creeps up my neck. Her eyes are hungry, her lips thirsty, and now it’s my hands that tremble as I take a sizeable gulp. Anna finishes her glass, placing it down on the table next to the black satin box. I see her eyes pause on it before she looks back up at me.
“It’s one last gift for you, but not one for you to open.” I answer her unasked question and her eyes narrow playfully.
Anna steps into me, her hand toying thoughtlessly with the hem of my Christmas jumper while she studies me. I stare right back, wishing I could read her mind. Am I going to lose her? It seems like every time I step closer to the life I want with her, someone blocks the path, throwing me off course and scrambling to try to get back to her. And she waits. She always waits for me to come back. But what if this time is one time too many? What if this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back? Now, more than ever… I crave her. Her touch, her kiss, her. But more than that need is the need to worship her. To claim her and have her claim me. It feels desperate. All I want is to belong to her in a way that I never thought I would want with anyone.
“There’s a fight going on inside those beautiful eyes. A fight, and something -” Anna’s says softly, concern mixing with the lust playing in her eyes.
I dip my head and meet her warm and willing mouth with mine in a slow, deep kiss. As I sweep my tongue in a roll against hers, my senses hum at the taste: A heady mix of champagne and a taste that is uniquely Anna. My hands aren’t frantic, they are slow and deliberate as I unbuckle the clasps on her burgundy dungarees-dress, making it fall to the floor, revealing matching ivory lace underwear that are understatedly sexy. Like Anna, they are sexy without trying. I run my fingertip over the top swell of her right breast in a slow trace, watching the goosebumps that chase my path. Following the path even slower, I repeat the motion over her left breast and then I replace my fingertip with my palm, laying it over her heart. I feel her thundering heartbeat and suddenly my own heart pangs with an ache so sharp, I have to bite back a gasp. I close my eyes before my tears betray me.
Damn it, Mac, get a grip. This is not what she wants right n–
A warm, soothing touch covers mine, lightly at first, and then her hand presses mine more firmly against her heart – firmly enough that I can feel her engagement ring pressing into my skin. I tingle as her lips find my throat, just once, and then I feel her breath shudder at my ear.
“It’s yours, Mac. It always has been. No matter what is going on inside that gorgeous, over-thinking mind of yours, no matter what happens tomorrow, it will always be yours.”
I huff out a breath I didn’t realise I was holding, a smile tugging on the corner of my mouth for just a moment as I open my eyes and they find hers. I don’t think that there will ever come a day that I’m not blown away by how easily she reads me like a book, nor be more grateful that she continues to turn the pages with elegant but sure fingers. All the fear and doubt leaks from my chest and I’m angry at myself for ever allowing it to take residence inside of me, however briefly.
“You have talked about my strength, about what it takes for me to survive the things I have. You call me brave. When you say these things it’s hard for me to see it, yet you make me believe I can do the impossible. The love that you show me, the love you inspire inside of me, makes me certain that if there is a way to survive what is coming, I will survive it to get back to you. What I don’t think you realise is as much as I am supposed to be the hero of this story…”
I move my hand, skimming it up from her chest and on to the side of her face, my thumb smoothing out the hollow of her cheek. Anna’s eyes lock onto mine yet remain soft, warm and full of magic.
“… you are the hero of mine, Anna. And... that is my story. Beginning, middle, and end.”
