The trial penguin ed, p.4
The Trial (Penguin ed.), page 4
But, as he did not feel at all sleepy, he decided to stay awake and take this opportunity to see when Fräulein Bürstner would come. Perhaps it would be possible to have a few words with her then, however ill-timed it might seem. As he lay by the window and strained his tired eyes he even thought for a moment of punishing Frau Grubach by persuading Fräulein Bürstner to join him in giving notice. But at once that seemed to him to be carrying things really too far and he even suspected himself of wanting to change his lodging because of that morning’s events. Nothing would have been more senseless and above all more pointless and despicable.
When he had grown tired of staring out at the empty street he lay on the sofa, after opening the door to the hall a little so that he could see from his position on the sofa anyone who came into the house. Until about eleven o’clock he lay quietly on the sofa, smoking a cigar. But after that he could no longer bear to stay where he was and went a little way into the hall, as if he could hasten Fräulein Bürstner’s arrival by doing this. He had no particular feelings about her, he could not even remember exactly what she looked like, but now he wanted to talk to her, and it annoyed him that by coming late she was introducing disturbance and disorder into the end of this day too. And it was her fault that he had had no supper this evening and had put off the visit to Elsa planned for today. He could still remedy both these omissions by going to the wine tavern where Elsa worked. He could do that later, after his talk with Fräulein Bürstner.
It was after half-past eleven when somebody could be heard on the stairs. K., deep in thought, was walking noisily up and down the hall as if this were his own room, and he now fled behind his door. Fräulein Bürstner had arrived. With a shiver she drew a silken shawl more closely round her thin shoulders as she locked the door. In a moment she would be going into her room, and K. would certainly not be allowed in there at this midnight hour; he would have to speak to her now, but unfortunately he had forgotten to switch the electric light on in his room, so his emergence from the dark room might look like an attack and at the least must give cause for alarm. Feeling helpless, and as no time was to be lost, he whispered through the partly opened door: ‘Fräulein Bürstner.’ It sounded like a plea, not like a challenge. ‘Is there somebody there?’ asked Fräulein Bürstner and looked round with a startled look. ‘It’s me,’ said K. and he stepped forward. ‘Ah, Herr K.,’ said Fräulein Bürstner with a smile. ‘Good evening.’ And she shook his hand. ‘I wanted to talk to you. Will you permit me now?’ ‘Now?’ asked Fräulein Bürstner. ‘Does it have to be now? It’s a little unusual, isn’t it?’ ‘I’ve been waiting for you since nine.’ ‘Well, I was at the theatre. I didn’t know you were waiting.’ ‘What I want to talk to you about happened only today.’ ‘All right, I’ve nothing against it really, except that I’m dead tired. So come to my room in a few minutes. In any case, we can’t talk here, we’d wake everybody, wouldn’t we? – and as far as I’m concerned that would be more of a nuisance to us than to them. Wait here till I put the light on in my room, then switch this light off.’ K. did this but then waited until, from her room, Fräulein Bürstner quietly asked him once more to come in. ‘Sit down,’ she said and pointed to the ottoman, but she herself remained standing by the bedpost in spite of the weariness she had spoken of and did not even take off her little hat adorned with a profusion of flowers. ‘So what did you want? I am really curious.’ She crossed her legs slightly. ‘You will perhaps say’, K. began, ‘that the matter is not so urgent that it had to be discussed now, but …’ ‘I never listen to preliminaries,’ said Fräulein Bürstner. ‘That makes my task easier,’ K. said. ‘This morning your room was thrown into some disorder, and it was in a way my fault. It was done by strangers, against my will, but, as I say, it was my fault. I wanted to ask you to forgive me for this.’ ‘My room?’ asked Fräulein Bürstner and, instead of looking at the room, she looked at K. with an inquiring glance. ‘It’s true,’ said K., and now they looked into each other’s eyes for the first time. ‘How it happened is not worth mentioning.’ ‘But that’s the really interesting part,’ said Fräulein Bürstner. ‘No,’ K. said. ‘Now,’ said Fräulein Bürstner, ‘I don’t want to pry into secrets. If you insist it’s not interesting, I won’t try to deny that. I grant with pleasure the forgiveness you ask for, especially as I can’t find any trace of disorder.’ With hands pressed flat and low on her hips she made a circuit of the room. She stopped by the board with the photographs. ‘But look,’ she cried, ‘my photographs have been pushed around. But that’s horrid. So somebody has been in my room without permission.’ K. nodded and silently cursed the clerk Kaminer, who was never able to curb his dreary and idiotic verve. ‘It is strange’, said Fräulein Bürstner, ‘that I have to forbid you something you should have forbidden yourself, that is, to enter my room in my absence.’ ‘But I have explained to you, Fräulein,’ said K., and he too went up to the photographs, ‘that it was not I who interfered with your photographs; but since you don’t believe me I shall have to confess the investigating commission brought three bank employees here, and one of them, whom I shall sack from the bank at the first opportunity, probably handled the photographs. Yes, there was an investigating commission here,’ added K., since the Fräulein looked at him inquiringly. ‘Because of you?’ she asked. ‘Yes,’ K. replied. ‘No,’ cried the Fräulein with a laugh. ‘But yes,’ said K., ‘do you believe then that I’m innocent?’ ‘Now, innocent …’ said the Fräulein. ‘Don’t expect me to pronounce straight away a judgement which might perhaps have serious consequences; after all, I don’t know you, but all the same a man must be a hardened criminal if he attracts the attention of an investigating commission. But as you’re still at liberty – at least I guess from your calm behaviour that you haven’t escaped from prison – you can’t have committed a crime like that.’ ‘Yes,’ said K., ‘but the investigating commission may have seen that I am innocent, or at least not as guilty as was assumed.’ ‘Certainly, that may be,’ said Fräulein Bürstner very attentively. ‘Look,’ said K., ‘you don’t have much experience in legal matters.’ ‘No, I haven’t,’ said Fräulein Bürstner, ‘and I’ve often regretted it, because I’d like to know everything I can, and legal matters do interest me enormously. A law court has its own peculiar power of attraction, don’t you think? But I’m sure to expand my knowledge in that direction because next month I’m joining the staff of a lawyer’s office.’ ‘That’s very good,’ K. said. ‘You’ll then be able to help me a little with my case.’ ‘That might be possible,’ said Fräulein Bürstner. ‘Why not? I do like to make use of what I know.’ ‘But I mean it seriously,’ said K., ‘or at least half-seriously … as you mean it. To employ an advocate – my business is too trivial for that. But I could make good use of an adviser.’ ‘Yes, but if I’m to be an adviser I’d have to know what it’s all about,’ said Fräulein Bürstner. ‘That’s just the snag,’ K. said. ‘I don’t know that myself.’ ‘Then you’ve just been playing a joke on me,’ said Fräulein Bürstner with intense disappointment. ‘It was totally unnecessary to choose this late hour for doing that.’ And she walked away from the photographs, where they had stood so long together. ‘But no, Fräulein,’ said K., ‘this is no joke. Why can’t you believe me? I’ve told you everything I know. Indeed, more than I know, because it wasn’t an investigating commission at all; I’m giving it that name because I don’t know what else to call it. Nothing was investigated. I was only put under arrest, but by a commission.’ Fräulein Bürstner sat on the ottoman and laughed again. ‘What was it like?’ she asked. ‘Frightful,’ said K., but he was not thinking of that now, he was entirely taken up with the sight of Fräulein Bürstner, her face propped on one hand – her elbow rested on the cushion of the ottoman – while with the other hand she slowly stroked her hip. ‘That’s too vague,’ said Fräulein Bürstner. ‘What’s too vague?’ K. asked. Then he came to himself and asked: ‘Shall I show you how it was?’ He wanted to introduce some movement yet did not want to depart. ‘I’m so tired,’ said Fräulein Bürstner. ‘You arrived so late,’ K. said. ‘Now we’ve got to the point where I get reproaches, and I deserve it, because I should not have let you come in. There was no need for it either, that’s obvious now.’ ‘There was a need for it, you’ll see now,’ K. said. ‘May I move the table from beside your bed to over here?’ ‘What are you thinking of?’ said Fräulein Bürstner. ‘Of course you shan’t do that!’ ‘Then I can’t show you what happened,’ said K. in some agitation, as if this were causing him an immeasurable injury. ‘Oh well, if you need it for your demonstration then move the table as you like,’ said Fräulein Bürstner and after a while she added, in a fainter voice: ‘I am so tired that I’m permitting more than I should.’ K. placed the table in the middle of the room and sat down behind it. ‘You must get a clear idea of the disposition of the people involved. I am the supervisor; there, on the chest, two warders are sitting; by the photographs stand three young men. I’ll just mention by the way that a white blouse is hanging on the window latch. And now it begins. Oh, I’ve forgotten myself, the most important character; I’m standing here in front of the table. The supervisor is sitting very comfortably, his legs crossed, his arm hanging down here over the back of the chair, an absolute lout. So now it really begins. The supervisor shouts as if he has to wake me from my sleep, he really yells, and I’m afraid that if I’m to make this comprehensible to you I must yell too. It is by the way only my name that he yells like this.’ Fräulein Bürstner, who was laughing while she was listening, put her finger to her lips to prevent K. from yelling, but it was too late. K. was too involved in the role he was playing and cried out slowly: ‘Josef K.!’ It was not as loud as he had threatened, but all the same loud enough so that the cry, after it had been suddenly expelled, seemed to spread only gradually through the room.
Then somebody knocked several times at the door of the next room, loudly, briskly, and with a regular rhythm. Fräulein Bürstner turned pale and put her hand to her heart. K. was particularly startled because for a moment he was quite unable to think of anything but that morning’s events and of the girl to whom he was demonstrating them. No sooner had he come to his senses than he sprang to Fräulein Bürstner’s side and took her hand. ‘Don’t be afraid,’ he whispered, ‘I’ll see to everything. But who can it be? Here next door there’s only the living-room, and nobody sleeps there.’ ‘Oh yes,’ Fräulein Bürstner whispered in K.’s ear, ‘since yesterday a nephew of Frau Grubach sleeps there, a captain. It just happens no other room is free. I’d forgotten about it. And you had to shout like that! I’m really upset.’ ‘You’ve no reason to be,’ said K. and, as she now sank back on the cushion, he kissed her forehead. ‘Go away,’ she said, ‘go away,’ and she sat up quickly, ‘but go, do go. What are you doing? He must be listening at the door. He can hear everything. How you torment me!’ ‘I won’t go’, said K., ‘until you’ve calmed down a bit. Come into this other corner of the room; he can’t hear us there.’ She allowed him to lead her there. ‘You don’t consider’, he said, ‘that while this may indeed be a nuisance for you, it’s by no means a danger. You know how Frau Grubach practically worships me and believes without question anything I say; she has the last word in this matter, especially as the captain is her nephew. And she’s under an obligation to me too: she has borrowed a lot of money from me. I’ll agree to any of your suggestions on how to explain our presence here together, as long as it’s tolerably plausible, and I guarantee to persuade Frau Grubach to believe our explanation, not only ostensibly but actually and really to believe it. You don’t have to consider me at all. If you want it spread around that I have assaulted you, that’s what Frau Grubach will be told, and she’ll believe it without losing her faith in me, she’s so very attached to me.’ Fräulein Bürstner looked down at the floor in silence, a little dejected. ‘Why shouldn’t Frau Grubach believe I’ve assaulted you?’ K. added. He was looking at her hair with its parting, her reddish hair bunched out at the bottom and firmly held. He thought she would turn her gaze towards him, but without changing her position she said: ‘Forgive me, I was scared because of the sudden knocking, not because of anything that might follow because the captain is there. It was so quiet after you shouted, then there was that knocking, that’s why I was so frightened; and I was sitting by the door, the knocking was right by me. I am grateful for your suggestions, but I won’t take them up. I can take responsibility for everything that happens in my room against no matter whom. I’m surprised you don’t notice what an insult to me there is in your suggestions, together with your good intentions of course, which I certainly recognize. But now you must go, leave me to myself. That’s more necessary now than it was before. The few minutes you asked for have grown into half an hour and more.’ K. took her by the hand and then by the wrist. ‘But you’re not angry with me?’ he said. She shook his hand off and answered: ‘No, no, I’m never angry with anybody.’ He again took her by the wrist; she allowed him to do so now and led him like this to the door. He was firmly resolved to go. But at the door he hesitated, as if he had not expected to find a door there, and Fräulein Bürstner used this moment to free herself, open the door, slip into the hall and from there to say softly to K.: ‘But do come now, please. Look …’ She pointed to the captain’s door, under which a strip of light was visible. ‘He has put his light on and is having fun at our expense.’ ‘I’m coming,’ said K., who now dashed forward, seized her, and kissed her on the mouth and then all over her face like a thirsty animal who scours with his tongue the surface of a spring he has found at last. Finally he kissed her on the neck, on her throat, and lingered there with his lips. A sound from the captain’s room made him look up. ‘I’ll go now,’ he said. He wanted to call Fräulein Bürstner by her first name but did not know what it was. She nodded wearily and gave him her hand to kiss; she had already half turned away as if she knew nothing about it and went into her room with head bowed. Shortly afterwards K. was lying in his own bed. Very soon he was asleep, but before falling asleep he thought about his behaviour. He was satisfied with it, but surprised he was not even more satisfied. Because of the captain he was gravely concerned about Fräulein Bürstner.
First Examination
K. had been notified by telephone that a brief examination into his case would be held the following Sunday. His attention was drawn to the fact that these examinations would take place regularly now, perhaps not every week but at frequent intervals. On the one hand, it would be in everybody’s interest to bring the proceedings to a speedy conclusion, on the other hand the examinations must be thorough in every respect yet not last too long because of the strain involved. So they had chosen the expedient of these examinations following closely on each other but kept short. The choice of Sunday as the day for examinations had been made so that K. should not be interrupted in his professional work. It was assumed he would agree with this; should he ask for a different day, his wishes would be accommodated as far as possible. For example, it would be possible to hold the examinations at night, but in that event K. might not be sufficiently rested. At any rate, as long as K. had no objection, they would keep to Sunday. It went without saying that he would definitely have to attend; they hardly needed to draw his attention to that. He was given the number of the house at which he had to appear; it was a house in an outlying street in the suburbs, where K. had never been before.
When K. had received this message he replaced the receiver without making a reply; he had made up his mind immediately to go on Sunday, it was certainly necessary, the proceedings were getting under way and he must oppose them; this first examination must also be the last. He was still standing thoughtfully by the phone when he heard behind him the voice of the deputy manager who wanted to use the phone but found K. in his way. ‘Bad news?’ asked the deputy manager, not because he wanted to know but just to get K. away from the telephone. ‘No, no,’ said K. and he stepped to one side but did not go away. The deputy manager picked up the receiver and said, away from the mouthpiece as he waited for his connection: ‘One request, Herr K. – would you do me the honour of joining us on my yacht next Sunday morning? It will be a large party and some of your friends are sure to be there. Among others, Hasterer from the prosecution service. Will you come? Do come!’ K. struggled to pay attention to what the deputy manager was saying. It was not unimportant for him; this invitation from the deputy manager, with whom he had never got on very well, signified an effort at reconciliation on his part and showed how important K. had become in the bank and how valuable his friendship or at least his neutrality seemed to the bank’s second highest official. The deputy manager was humbling himself by giving this invitation, even if it was only given as an aside while he was waiting for his connection. But K. had to provide a second humiliation, for he said: ‘Many thanks, but unfortunately I’m not free on Sunday. I already have an engagement.’ ‘Pity,’ said the deputy manager and turned to talk into the phone as his connection had just been made. It was not a short conversation, but in his confusion K. stayed there the whole time by the telephone. Only when the deputy manager rang off did he start and say, in an effort to excuse his pointless presence: ‘I was told by telephone just now I was supposed to go somewhere, but they forgot to tell me what time.’ ‘Well, ask them again,’ said the deputy manager. ‘It’s not so important,’ said K. in spite of the fact that this made his first inadequate excuse even less convincing. The deputy manager talked about other things as he was going away; K. forced himself to give answers, but what he was really thinking was that it would be best to arrive on Sunday at nine o’clock in the morning as that was the time all law courts began work on weekdays.
