Dont stop believing, p.16
Don't Stop Believing, page 16
There was the briefest of moments when Erin could sense the effort it took for Harry and Flora to break their gaze from each other before Flora looked up at her and grinned.
‘There you are now!’ she said. ‘I’ve been trying to get hold of you. I thought maybe I had the wrong number, but Noah here tells me I didn’t.’
‘The kitchen has been so busy, I’ve not had a chance to look at my phone all afternoon,’ Erin said.
‘Ah, well that explains it,’ Flora replied. ‘I didn’t leave a voice message because my granddaughter told me that you young ones never listen to messages anyway.’
‘All that technology and they don’t make use of the half of it,’ Harry interjected. ‘Imagine that! They were all crying out for mobile phones when they first came out. Didn’t want anything to do with having a house phone any more. Wanted to be able to talk to anyone no matter where they were. And now? You’d be hard pushed to get a young one to answer the phone in the first place. It’s all texts and the like. Don’t even get me started on the language they use – it’s like no one ever heard of a vowel or it would be too much effort to type a full word out. I don’t know…’
Erin was grateful when Flora reached her hand across the table and rested it gently on Harry’s. The touch was enough to stop him in his tracks before he launched into the twenty-minute full-length version of why technology was a cursed thing and how people had been much happier back in his day. As if he wasn’t still living and breathing in the world now and didn’t have his very own mobile phone which he insisted on wearing in a holder on his belt.
‘I’m rambling on again, aren’t I?’ Harry said with just a touch of a smile.
‘Just a bit, Harry,’ Flora said and the smile that had been on Harry’s face morphed into a grin.
‘Good thing I’ve you to keep me right,’ he said and Erin almost hoped that Flora wouldn’t return to telling her what she had been trying to get in touch about. She’d be happy to sit and watch the pair, with their gentle teasing and innocent flirtation. It was so wholesome and lovely.
‘Someone needs to!’ Flora teased. ‘But here, Erin, sit down, pet. So we can have a wee chat.’
‘I’ll leave you to it,’ Harry said, groaning a little as he stood up to leave the booth. ‘My knee is giving me gyp. A wee medicinal whiskey might just help with that,’ he smiled.
‘Mine’s a gin and slim,’ Flora said with a smile,
‘Erin, what would you like to drink?’ Harry asked. ‘And Noah?’
‘I’m fine, thank you,’ Erin said. ‘I’ve to finish cleaning up in the kitchen yet.’
‘And I always have more work to do,’ Noah said.
‘No rest for the wicked, eh?’ Harry said with a cheeky wink. It really was very heart-warming to see him so at ease.
‘Even less for the good, Harry,’ Noah rejoined. ‘But how about I skip you to the front of the queue to save your gypy hip?’
‘That would be much appreciated,’ Harry said, before he doffed an imaginary cap at both ladies and headed to the bar, leaving Erin to slip into the still warm seat opposite Flora. There was something deeply unsettling about sitting in someone else’s bum-generated warmth, but Erin pushed through uncomfortable thoughts about Harry’s rear end and tried to focus on the task at hand.
She had to use every ounce of her strength of character to look Flora in the eye and keep her voice steady as she said, ‘And so, what can I help you with today, Flora?’
Flora tilted her head to one side and looked at Erin, a soft smile crinkling the wrinkles which framed her eyes and mouth so perfectly. There was a life well lived in her appearance and the feeling that every line told a story of its own.
‘Here’s the thing, pet,’ Flora began. ‘I got your offer. And I wanted to talk to you about it myself, you know. It didn’t seem right putting everything through the estate agents, not for you. It’s different for the people I don’t know, but I know you and I care about you.’
As lovely as it was to hear that Flora did indeed care about her, Erin couldn’t help but wish she would just cut to the chase. She nodded. ‘Thanks, Flora. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.’
‘I’m going to be honest,’ Flora said, ‘your offer is just a little short of what my Rachel thinks I should be holding out for.’
Erin’s heart sank. She knew that she had stretched her budget as far as she could and she didn’t want to ask the others to up their investment either. She didn’t know yet what it would take to pull together the refurbishment of the flat, or the fitting out work in the shop, or to market her new business for that matter. She knew enough from watching back-to-back episodes of Homes Under the Hammer that contingency funds generally got blown out of the water when unforeseen extras were needed and she didn’t want to start her new business already in fear for her financial future. At the same time she completely understood Flora’s position – and she would never want to short-change the older woman. Not in a million years.
‘And there is other interest. More than I thought there would be, to be honest. Even a couple of chains – a coffee place and a chemists, you know.’
Erin knew only too well. What chance would she have against the buying power of the corporate world?
‘It’s not easy,’ Flora continued. ‘You know? To make decisions as big as these. I don’t think I ever really thought the day would come when I would be selling up at all. I always said I’d work ’til I couldn’t any more, and my children would tease me that there was nothing that would stop me from going into that bakery. Even when they were new-born, I’d just enough time off to get back on my feet and no more. And when my Johnny died, I was back in the day after his funeral, because the thing is, Erin, I have loved it. And I have loved that it has always been there to keep me going, even at times when I didn’t think I wanted to keep going at all.’
Flora blinked back tears and Erin feared she’d join her in giving in to her emotions – the biggest feeling in her heart right then being disappointment at the news she was sure was headed her way.
Flora continued. ‘It kept me going – that place. But it’s more than that. People might say, sure, it’s only a bun for your morning cup of tea, but it’s not, you know. It’s somewhere for people to meet and have a chat, even if only in the queue. The people I see come through those doors. There’s people out there who first came in the bakery in their mammy’s bellies, and then in their prams, and now they’re pushing the prams of their own grandchildren. So even though I needed the place to keep me going, I like to think it kept other people going too. Whether it be thinking about who they’d meet or what they’d treat themselves to. I never wanted to let those people down, you know. Because you shouldn’t ever do that if you can help it. You shouldn’t let your own down.’ Flora sniffed, but it was Erin who noticed that her own face was wet too. She didn’t dare speak. ‘So, anyway, after talking it through with my Rachel, and the rest of my children, and with Harry just now, I’ve decided I don’t want to let the community of Ivy Lane down. Certainly not for the sake of a few pounds.’
Erin felt her breath catch in her throat. Did Flora mean what Erin thought she meant?
‘But… sure you need that money for your retirement. And your travels! You should absolutely get the best price for the place.’
‘And that’s what I’m intending on doing,’ Flora said, leaving Erin once again confused. Her feelings must have been obvious on her face because Flora tilted her head and gave her a smile. ‘I’m talking in riddles, aren’t I? It’s spending too much time with that Harry one! Sure, you’d never know what nonsense you’d be coming out with. And there’s no such thing as a long story short with him, so let me get to the point.’
Please God, Erin thought but managed not to say.
‘Sometimes getting the best price involves more than just money. I want that sense of community to continue. I want the Lane to be well looked after and not over-run by big chain operations who aren’t part of the fabric of the place. I know your business idea isn’t to keep the shop running as it is, and things are going to change. I’m not a naive oul’ doll with no wit about me. But the thought that it’s someone who knows and loves this place and who wants to make it better is worth more than a sack of money to me. You young ones bring so much to this place. And God above knows you have helped keep us old farts going.’ At that, Flora’s voice cracked and she glanced over to the bar, where Harry was making a show of rubbing his sore leg before taking a grand big sip of his whiskey. If Erin wasn’t mistaken, there was more than a little fondness to her tone, and to the expression on her face. ‘I don’t think he’d still be going if it wasn’t for you lot. Grumpy old devil that he is, you all kept him going when he wanted to give up, and now look – Lorcan is back here and working with him. You never know, Lorcan might even marry young Jo and they might have a baby like Libby and Noah, and there could be children running around this place again sooner than you think.’
Not for me, Erin thought with a sigh before she chided herself for not focusing on the big picture. Maybe she was scared too. Because everything was about to get real, really quick, and she didn’t know if she should cry, or laugh, or scream, or all three.
‘Are you saying that you’re going to accept my offer?’ Erin asked, hoping with all her heart.
‘I am, pet,’ Flora replied and gave her hand a squeeze. ‘And I’m delighted to do so. Just knowing the place will be in good hands gives me such a sense of peace. It will make it easier to walk away. I know people say it’s only bricks and mortar, but it’s so much more than that. It’s been my whole life.’
Erin couldn’t speak for the tears that openly coursed down her face. All she could do was put her free hand on top of Flora’s and squeeze back.
‘My goodness, ladies, who died?’ Harry’s voice boomed as he appeared beside the table with a gin and slim for Flora and a whiskey for himself. The pair shared a smile that said more than words could ever say. ‘Hang on!’ he added. ‘We haven’t forgotten you, young Erin!’ Harry stepped to the side, revealing Noah carrying a tray replete with a bottle of champagne and several glasses. ‘I believe congratulations are in order,’ Harry said with a wink.
If Erin wasn’t mistaken, there was a hint of emotion in his voice too.
22
It was sometime around eight in the evening when Harry, having consumed more than enough medicinal whiskeys to treat a dose of the bubonic plague, decided to lead the way into a bit of a singsong.
Erin was feeling just the nice side of tipsy as she sipped a cooling vodka and cranberry juice after moving on from the champagne. The bubbles from the former had gone straight to her head and she’d found herself cleaning the kitchen while several sheets to the wind, grateful that there was no food service on a Sunday night to deal with.
Paul had looked at her, one eyebrow raised, as she had bopped around the kitchen after Flora’s big announcement.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ she’d asked him, a wave of self-consciousness washing over her.
‘You look happy,’ he’d said.
‘It has been known that I can in fact be happy some of the time,’ she’d replied, with a lopsided smile.
‘I’m not saying you can’t,’ Paul had said, ‘but I’m sure I didn’t pick up wrong that you looked upset earlier?’
The gentle way in which he asked the question had made Erin realise he was asking out of concern for her and not nosiness. It was, she realised, probably exactly the right time to give him a potted highlights rundown of the last week. So, she had told him that she had split with Aaron, and then opened up about all her hopes for the bakery, stopping just shy of filling him in that she had him in mind for the head chef position in The Ivy Inn, deciding to hold that nugget of information until she had signed contracts and discussed the promotion with Noah and Jo.
He had listened intently and expressed sympathy and excitement in the right places. ‘I had a feeling something was off with Aaron,’ he’d said. ‘If you don’t mind me saying so.’
‘I don’t mind at all,’ she’d said. ‘But can I ask what gave you that idea?’
Paul had shrugged. ‘It’s nothing much, really. But you didn’t seem to talk about him very much any more. There was no “Aaron and I watched Bake Off”, or “Aaron and I are going away for the weekend”.’
He wasn’t wrong, Erin thought.
‘And there were a few times I wondered if you were hanging on a little later than usual or coming in early just to be away from home,’ Paul had said, but couldn’t quite meet her eye. Clearly, he didn’t want to offend her, but while his words did sting a little, there was nothing untruthful in them. That’s exactly how it had been, she realised. When Erin really thought about it, she knew there had been times when she came to work early on the pretence of catching up with Noah or Jo, or to do a stock-check, when, really, she had just found the increasing silence between her and Aaron too much.
‘Was it that obvious?’ she’d asked.
Paul had shaken his head. ‘No. I don’t think so. Unless someone was paying attention.’
She’d paused. Did this mean he was paying attention? To her movements or to the status of her relationship? For a moment, she didn’t know what to say next. She certainly didn’t feel ready to pull at that particular thread.
‘Okay,’ she had muttered before opting to change the subject entirely, which was sometimes the best course of action when embarrassment threatens to floor you. ‘Well, I suppose it’s no bad thing since I’ll be so very busy with my new business – if I can get my mortgage approved.’
‘It will happen,’ Paul had said. ‘When you want things to happen, you tend to chase after them until they do. Think of all the changes you’ve implemented here, Erin. I think you will be incredible… I mean… it will be incredible.’
For the shortest of moments, Erin had wondered if she should read anything into his slip of the tongue. He’d said she would be incredible. He had definitely said that first, but he’d corrected himself so quickly.
Whatever, Paul did not give her the chance to think about it any more as he launched in with all the right questions. The kind of questions that could only be asked by someone who shared a love of food prep and baking and the unique satisfaction that came with preparing a mouth-watering meal. She realised how refreshing it was not to have someone’s eyes glaze over when she spoke about her proposed menu, or what she had learned in Paris. In fact, she could see her excitement reflected back at her in his expression. Unlike Aaron, he didn’t steer the conversation back round to himself, or pick up his phone halfway through to check the football scores.
‘I hope it all happens for you, boss,’ Paul had said as he’d grabbed his bag at the end of his shift. ‘I’ve always had a feeling you were going to go further than this place.’
Those words, along with the company of her friends in the bar, gave Erin a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was the opposite of how she’d felt when Aaron had come to see her earlier in the day, and it was a much nicer headspace to reside in.
This side of tipsy was a nice place to be and imbued her with a sense that all was right in the world, but not enough that she decided to dance on the tables, or anything equally embarrassing.
Harry, it turned out, was quite the singer, even if his choice of songs wouldn’t have been Erin’s first choice. She was more of an Ed Sheeran/Lewis Capaldi kind of a girl and Harry preferred singing the songs of John Denver and, perhaps more fittingly for the location, a rather impassioned rendition of ‘The Town I Loved So Well’ – the old Phil Coulter song about Derry at the height of the Troubles.
Erin allowed the deep sound of his voice to wash over her as she sat beside Flora, holding her hand, and closed her eyes. She was well aware she was too young to really feel the true meaning of the lyrics, but she felt a lump rise in her throat anyway. Maybe it was how Harry’s own voice showed signs of emotion as he sang of the music that was always in the Derry air and of the hope for peace that the community had carried in their hearts.
The Inn, she noticed, had all but fallen silent as Harry sang. Even Paddy seemed to be enjoying the performance, having laid himself on the floor at Harry’s feet so he could stare up at him and wag his tail at the high notes.
By that stage, they had been joined by Jo and Lorcan, and also by Libby and Noah, who sat hand in hand, Libby resting her head on Noah’s shoulder. The pair looked as if they just fitted together, like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. When Erin saw Noah kiss the top of his wife’s head tenderly, she felt a spark of excitement for the journey they were on. They were going to be parents. There was going to be a little baby as part of the fabric of Ivy Lane and at the centre of their friendship group. It would change things, of course, but she had a feeling it would be in a good way. Just as she was sure Lorcan and Jo would have the perfect wedding and enjoy their own happy ever after.
As good days went, it had been the best. Even with the run-in with Aaron earlier. To be fair, since Flora had revealed she was going to accept Erin’s offer, she had barely given Aaron and his claims a thought. Her mind had been filled with a sense of positivity for what was to come and love for the people who were going to help her get there. That and, as she realised once the applause died down for Harry, the need to pee. There was nothing as true as the curse of the first fatal pee when drinking. Just like opening a can of Pringles – once you pop, you can’t stop.
Having let go of Flora’s hand, Erin sidled out of the booth and away from her friends towards the Ladies’. It was only now that she felt the slightly disorientating effects of her last two drinks and she realised she had to concentrate a little more on walking across the bar.
Relieved to find there wasn’t a queue for the facilities, she sat down to wee and allowed herself a moment to think about just how quickly a life could change. Surely this last week would rival any plot twist Jo could come up with in her books. Erin would never have said she was a fan of change, but she had to concede not all change was bad.
