I looked around, seeing whether the audience had picked up on it. A few among the handful of people around us had. The two idiots in front of me, meanwhile, seemed oblivious.

  All bark and no bite, I suppose. Enough sizing them up. Now, what to transform into…?

  A black mist sprayed out from my body, shrouding it completely. When it cleared, a different monster stood there instead. A black wolf.

  Um, hang on, wasn’t I a direwolf when I absorbed the boss and transformed right after? Now I was just as dark as Ranga and his pack. If anything, I was actually larger than Ranga.

  That, and I had two horns on my head.

  Form: Tempest Starwolf.

  …Well. I guessed if a monster type I consumed evolved, my mimic form evolved with it. I was one level ahead of the evolved Ranga, even. After all, he had only one horn.

  Less trivially, I felt a terrific amount of power well within me. I was sure the sight would make these fools drop their swords and instantly run away.

  But they didn’t.

  “Hah! I don’t care how badass you look! You’re still a runty goddamn piss-slime to me!”

  “You think that was enough to freak us out? Come on, man!”

  They aren’t picking up on this at all! You’re really supposed to by now, guys… I mean, don’t I look threatening enough? And even if you think it’s just an illusion, shouldn’t a shape-shifting slime give you at least a little pause?

  And yet it didn’t faze them at all. Maybe they figured they still had their three friends for backup.

  I had a few more skills on hand, too. Five, according to the Sage. Keen Smell, Thought Communication, Coercion, Shadow Motion, and Dark Lightning.

  Shadow Motion was something Ranga and his pack were actually practicing at the moment. They could hide inside the shadow of their partner, then reappear on the spot whenever they were called. They were still getting the hang of the “get inside a shadow” bit, so it’d likely be a while to come.

  Dark Lightning, meanwhile… That, I didn’t even have to test. If I tried it out now, my adversaries would be charbroiled, I was sure. I had underestimated the stupidity of them both, so things could get ugly around here. Either way, Dark Lightning was out of the question.

  Sure would have been nice if Coercion actually worked on them! Talk about being too stupid to find your ass on the bottom of you. The audience, meanwhile, were clearly quaking in their boots. Some had already lost their footing.

  “Sheesh… Well, whatever. I’ve had enough of this. Take me on!”

  I gave them a free swipe to start.

  Speaking of, what would happen to the form I was mimicking if I was damaged? I did actually test that once—I deliberately kept getting myself attacked in armorsaurus lizard form. What I found was that once I took enough damage, I automatically reverted back to slime form—although the damage would be applied only to the mimic, not to my slime body. I supposed the magicules forming the mimicry also protected my body from the blows.

  The restrictions I had to work with were the three-ish minutes I had to wait before switching to another form, and the magic I had to consume for each mimic type. But the magic wasn’t a problem, really, considering the amount I could work with.

  In other words, I could let these guys flail at me all they wanted. Even if they were a hell of a lot stronger than they appeared, I’d just revert to slime form and scoot off. Simple.

  “Hah! Prepare to die!”

  Answering my call, the swordsman lunged at me with a shout.

  “Hrahh! Windbreaker Slash!”

  Is that a swordsman skill? The blade of his sword started glowing green. But it didn’t hurt me, sad to say… My hide snapped his mighty blade cleanly in half.

  As he attacked, his partner threw a set of three daggers at me. I appreciated the gesture—three at once had to be tricky to pull off—but none of them had enough force to even split a tempest starwolf’s hair.

  “What was that?” I sneered at them, trying my best to play the villain figure. Really, though, what was that? I was completely undamaged. Was that skill name just for show?

  “N-no! That pelt of yours… It’s too tough!”

  “It can’t be… I…I… It can’t be! My sword is crafted from silver! It’s supposed to hurt monsters more!”

  …Silver’s a relatively weak metal, isn’t it? Brother.

  “H-hey! Help me, you guys!”

  Apparently the swordsman didn’t care about saving face any longer. I guessed that other trio was with him after all.

  “Hah! It’s over for you now!”

  “Oh, man… I really didn’t think we’d have to wade into this, man.”

  “A transforming slime, huh? Interesting. Think I’ll dissect it once it’s dead.”

  “You haven’t moved this whole battle, have you? Bet that magic fades away the moment you do, huh? Am I right, or what?”

  The three of them prattled on as they joined their friends, making for a total of five surrounding me, and went on the attack. The swordsman summoned magic blades of wind, his companion producing a shortsword to swipe at me with. Their heavy fighter shouted “Grandbreaker Slash!” as he hefted up a great ax and slammed it down. The wizard tossed a few fireballs my way, and his monk friend built a magical defense for himself, expecting me to target him first.

  As parties went, it was rather well balanced. The only problem they had was that none of their attacks did a thing against me.

  Once the dust settled, the group lifted their eyes, daring to take a look at me. They were too shocked to speak. Maybe Coercion would work now.

  With an earth-shaking roar, I invoked it…but, alas, I screwed it up. I didn’t mean for the audience to faint to the ground, too, with assorted substances welling up around their pants.

  What a disaster. Now what? This’ll be such a pain to deal with. Hmm? The party? Well, they had just taken a Coercion blow at point-blank range. I doubt I need to go into detail on what happened to them.

  My Magic Sense skill started picking up on the dwarven security force running our way.

  “It’s over,” I whispered. Over, indeed. I looked down at them, wondering how they were ever going to clean up their undergarments after this—trying to keep my new reality at bay for just a few more moments.

  “I’m really sorry about this!!”

  I bowed deeply—or intended to, anyway—inside the guardroom.

  After the ruckus we had caused, there was no way security was going to let the lot of us off with a slap on the wrist. After only a few moments, a squadron of guards was surrounding us. Well, me, really, given how unconscious the other five were.

  I know! I thought. I’ll just turn into a slime and slink off! And I tried to. But before I could move, they grabbed me en masse and—squish—lifted me up. So much for that.

  The soldiers flashed me their best “no struggling, now” smiles. The sweat running down their foreheads, however, indicated the effort they had to expend to make this arrest.

  “W-wait!” I shouted, doing my best frenzied-Gobta impression. “We didn’t do anything! We’re the victims here!”

  “All right, all right,” came the smiling reply. “We’ll hear you out in the guardroom. Can’t expect to run off after that, now can you?”

  Not much else I can do, I guess. What’s Gobta doing? I glanced back, only to find he still had his eyes closed and his hands over his ears. Oh, for… What is he thinking? He’s not, clearly. He’s too stupid to. At least he takes orders well.

  Luckily, I managed to shout loudly enough to attract his attention. Before long, we were all on our merry way to the security guards’ office.

  So here’s what happened!

  1. I got accosted!

  2. I turned into a wolf!

  3. I kind of howled a little.

  Whatcha think? Not my fault, right? I thought as I glanced at the soldier standing above me.

  He was still smiling at me—the expression suited this gruff, friendly-looking dwarf and his long, bushy beard. Except for those unfortunate veins popping out of his forehead.

  “Umm, why did you take me along with you, officer?”

  “You damned fool! What do you think you’re saying? Our chiefs are yelling at us because you were accosted.”

  “What?! Really? I’m sorry… I’ve messed up again, haven’t I…?”

  “Well, there’s nothing to be done about it this time, but try to be a bit more careful, all right?”

  Whew. Guess they finally saw the light. Good thing my “Blame Everyone Else” skill from my human years was still going strong. It was an advanced ability, earned only after years of life experience. The key was to never give your foe a single moment to doubt you. It was hard!

  And maybe I phrased it a bit jokily, but my account pretty well summarized the whole thing. It sounded as though the witnesses they talked to said the same thing.

  “So what was that wolf, then?” the soldier watching over me asked. What’s he mean, “What is it?”

  “Um, the species, you mean? It’s a—”

  “No, not the name. What I mean is, why did that kind of monster show up around here? Where’d it come from, where’d it go… I wanna hear everything you know!”

  Mmm? I’d told him that was just mimicry. He didn’t believe me? I thought I was pretty open with him. I knew it was standard procedure for a hero to hide his secret identity, but I wasn’t exactly a hero anyway.

  “Well, I told you… That was just me transformed!”

  “Huh? Look, it’s already rare for a slime to talk, and you want me to add shape-shifting to the package, too?”

  “No, I mean… Look, would you like me to show you?”

  “Hmph. Nah, it’s fine. But if you can shape-shift, how is that possible? You’re a slime, aren’t you?”

  That… Wait. How should I answer that? I don’t think he’d buy it if I just said “It’s an intrinsic!” or whatever. That’d just put me on the same level as Gobta. Think, man. You gotta come up with a decent excuse, now!

  “Well… I was actually cursed. My talents must have sparked some jealously, I guess… I’m capable of wielding illusory magic.”

  “Oh, really? A curse, is it? Then what?”

  “Then, um… Well, I know a few illusory spells, but I was still just a student at the time, so this evil mage turned me into a slime… I’m on a journey to find a way to undo the curse, and, um, that’s pretty much it!”

  “Why’d you run into an evil wizard, then? Why’d he curse you instead of just killing you?”

  Nnngh… This would go a lot easier if you’d just believe me, man. You don’t have to be so obstinate about it. Though I guess I’d be, too. If he actually bought my story, that’d make him more gullible than a goblin.

  This little back-and-forth between me and the soldier went on for another two hours or so.

  ………

  ……

  …

  By the end of our intensive debate, I had just about an entire novel’s worth of backstory. A story about a forlorn young (and beautiful) girl, brutally transformed into a slime by an evil mage.

  In the midst of our tit for tat, if you want to call it that, the soldier’s questions helped me weave a grand story of heroic tragedy in my mind. I was a young prodigy, a girl inherently gifted in the arts of transformation and illusory magic. A cruel witch had cast a terrible spell on me, and I was traveling to rid myself of the curse.

  Why did this have to happen? And why did I turn myself into a magical girl along the way?! And the worst part of it was, whenever I said something that wandered off-script, the soldier’s next question would help me fix the mistake. Oh, right! I’d say to myself as the tale meandered its merry way down the path.

  By the end of it, both myself and the soldier were enthralled, hoping against hope that the girl would somehow succeed on her quest. Our eyes burned with passion—at least, his did. Truly, we had a connection that went beyond mere words.

  “All right! That’s it for the report. Thank you for your cooperation! But we’re going to need to—”

  Slam!

  Before the soldier could finish, the large door behind him opened. Another soldier rushed in.

  “S-sir! An armorsaurus just showed up in the mines! It’s already injured several miners at their posts!”

  “What?! Well, did you defeat it?”

  “We’re good there! A suppression force is on its way. But some of the miners are fairly roughed up. I don’t know if there’s a war under way or something, but the city shops are out of medicine, and the castle won’t let us access their stockpile…”

  “What about our healers?”

  “That’s the thing, sir… The injured were deep inside, mining magic ore. The healers at the guardhouse are all out handling other calls, so all we have left is a single novice!”

  “Ah, damn it all!”

  Sounds rough. Not that I care. Just take some from the castle, if it’s that important! I thought, but…

  I do have a few potions on me, though. What should I do?

  It wasn’t as if I expected the gesture to testify to my character and get me off the hook. We just need to make the world a better place is all. I know it sounds fishy coming from me, but… Compassion is its own best reward, and all that. I’ll get karma back for it someday.

  “Um, sir! Sir!”

  “What? I’m busy. I’m done with you for now, but I can’t let you go yet. Stay in this room until things calm down a little!”

  “No, not that, um… I’ve got this.”

  I took a recovery potion out. Or spat it out, is the way he probably saw it.

  “…Um, what’s that?”

  “A recovery potion. Drink it, rub it in—it’s high quality!”

  “Eh? What’s a slime like you doing with that?”

  Oh, come on. What happened to my story? Why’s he treating me like a slime again? He was egging me on during that entire interrogation, wasn’t he? Not that I wasn’t an eager participant, but…

  “That kind of doesn’t matter right now, does it? Go ahead, try it. How many do you need?”

  “We’ve got six men down…but are you sure?”

  The soldier who’d just stormed in gave me a quizzical stare. If I were him, I probably wouldn’t take a potion from a monster, either.

  “Tch… Stay here, all right? Let’s go!”

  “Um? But, Captain, that’s a monster…?”

  “Enough from you! Just take me over to them!”

  The bushy-bearded captain snatched up the six recovery potions I provided and ran off. What with the grand fantasy tale we’d just woven, I supposed I had gained his trust somewhat. Maybe he was a nice guy after all. Didn’t expect him to be a full-fledged captain, though.

  “Is it over?” Gobta asked after silently nodding at everything I’d said before now.

  “No, but I guess we’ll sit here and see what happens.”

  “Got it, sir!”

  Then we stared into space. The soldiers who peeked in on occasion would give us confused looks, but otherwise, not much happened for an hour. I was practicing my Sticky Thread moves a bit when I heard the captain’s heavy footsteps. The silken whip zipped back into my body as I waited for him to come in. Gobta was asleep, proving that maybe he was smarter than I was all along.

  “Thank you, sir!” the bearded captain thundered as he stormed into the room, head bowed. The miners filed in behind him.

  “You’re the one with the potions? Thanks a ton!”

  “My arm was pretty torn up. I didn’t think I’d ever work again, even if I survived… Thank you!”

  “……”

  The last guy didn’t say anything before they all left, but I was fairly sure he was thankful, too. Glad to see the potions worked.

  By this time, it was past sunset. It was almost fully dark outside when the captain started talking with me again—seriously, this time.

  It turned out the quintet who’d tried taking me on were members of this nation’s Free Guild. They had talent, but they also had a prior reputation as rabble-rousers. “That oughta teach ’em a lesson!” the captain said with a roaring laugh.

  The guard was already certain that we were guilty of nothing, but I was still being detained out of respect for the other “victims” I had inadvertently inconvenienced with my actions. Nobody was pressing charges, though—I suppose they figured asking restitution for crapping their pants wasn’t the shrewdest of social moves.

  So I told him the truth. I was helping rebuild a goblin village, and we needed arms and clothing, as well as someone who could provide a little on-site guidance. The captain listened intently, some of his men chiming in on occasion. They even asked Gobta a few questions, despite his darting eyes and bewildered expression.

  The next day…

  We were still in the guardroom. Gobta had borrowed another cell to sleep in, which I assumed he was still using. Having nothing better to do, I was watching some dwarven personnel run through morning training in the field behind the guardhouse. Swinging heavy wooden swords around to work on their speed, sparring a bit in simulated combat, running a few laps, the usual.

  I sat there, taking it all in and imagining how they’d fare against the assorted creatures I had Predated by this point. It was a bit like a game to me…but would the Sage mind if I used it like this? Seems like kind of a waste of talent—but what the hell? It’ll be fun.

  Turned out, the guards barely stood a chance. Even if I gave myself a handicap, there were only just a few of them who could beat the bat and the lizard.

  In a one-on-one matchup, the scales tipped pretty heavily toward the monsters, but since the dwarves always seemed to operate in teams of four to six, a few of the combined parties could take on the spider fairly well. Even all twenty of them out in the field couldn’t take on the centipede, though. I wasn’t expecting these guys to be Special Forces types, of course, so the results made sense to me.

  They were just about wrapped up by the time Gobta awoke. The captain checked in at around the same time.

 

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