Dashing devil 5 bold beg.., p.27
Dashing Devil 5: Bold Beginnings, page 27
“First,” she continued when no one objected, “no interruptions when others are speaking.”
Everyone nodded.
“Second, no side conversations… which includes mental communications, this is a group discussion.” She looked at Mindy, who had curled up in her chair in one of her clingy kaftans, though she was almost as stiff as Hope.
“I have locked my Power away in Boyd’s mind and closed the curtains.” Mindy gave a small smile but it came across as wooden on her otherwise blank expression. “Right now, the only thoughts I can hear are my own, and I will speak my thoughts verbally. Aiming my thoughts at anyone is much harder when I can’t hear theirs.”
“Good.” Laura nodded and returned the wooden smile with the warm one she wore when dealing with patients. “Then on to the third rule. We will be using ‘I’ statements when sharing our thoughts or feelings. This is about expressing your own experiences without making any assumptions about others. It helps to prevent misunderstandings and defensiveness. For example, instead of saying 'You make me feel...', try 'I feel... when...'. Can we all try to do that?"
She had two women who were already defensive, it was best to stop either of them from starting by taking swipes at each other.
"Lastly, confidentiality is key.” Laura’s gaze scanned each of them. “What is shared in this room stays in this room. It is crucial that we trust each other to respect our privacy—even from Boyd. There is a reason he isn’t here and that this conversation is happening privately. Can everyone agree to that?"
“Um…” Silvie fidgeted in her seat, floating up for a second before settling back down in a new position. “So I’m sort of in a never lie to Darling again mode right now… what if he asks me direction questions? I’d want to answer them.”
“Even if he asks, what is shared here stays…” Laura began to say, but Mindy raised her hand and Laura paused. The nurse gestured to her as someone who had often identified amicable middle ground in the past.
“What if we agreed to only answer questions related to our own experiences and our own feelings, and to say nothing about what others said or shared?” she posited calmly. “If Boyd is going to ask about anything, it will be to check to make sure it wasn’t too upsetting for us. That will mostly be because he will not be able to shut our Bonds down completely, especially not with their recent strengthening.”
“That sounds more than reasonable,” Laura agreed. “If he should ask you anything about what the others said or even felt, you should direct him to ask them about it. Leave it to each individual to choose if they want to share. Agreed?”
“Sounds good to me,” Raev said, seemingly at ease, although Laura could see calculations running behind her bright green eyes.
It had taken a while for Laura to see it, but Raev and Boyd were a lot alike. When at rest or in casual settings, they seemed naturally relaxed—which isn’t to say they didn’t maintain an awareness of everything that was happening around them. She had seen both of them flip over in an instant to a particular intensity she had not seen anywhere outside of her brief taste of Heroes in combat.
“Yes, I would also like to be able to answer if Boyd asks,” Hope replied. She still sounded as sweet as ever, but with a subtle tense edge to her tone that Laura wasn’t entirely sure she heard or simply assumed.
“Um, I suppose telling Darling I can’t tell him what anyone said or felt doesn’t count as a lie… so yes, that works.” Silvie’s reply started out a little concerned, but she was her usual bubbly self by the time she finished.
“Since Mindy suggested it, that makes it unanimous,” Laura said with a nod, scanning the group of women. “Ground rules established. So, does anybody have something they would like to share, or should I start us off with an icebreaker?”
Silvie glanced between Hope and Mindy who sat on either side of her, both of whom maintained serene expressions—one cooly blank, the other warm and glowing. Raev was on Hope’s other side, with Laura next to her, and then there was an empty chair between Laura and Mindy in the circle.
The vixen rolled her eyes when neither opted to be the first to speak. “I feel concerned when issues between us cause breakdowns in communication—in particular when it happens during a mission, but just in general too. One of the things that has been great about what we have so far has been the open communication. Everyone knew where everyone else fell… until recently, that is.”
Raev’s emerald eyes shifted over to Hope, who maintained her sunny smile.
“If you mean to say that I have been unclear, I apologize. I thought I had been clear when I said that I think of each of you, including Tinker, as sisters. I also think of Laura and Daisy as potential sisters who I have high hopes for.”
“You say that, but you don’t act like it.” Raev maintained her laid-back demeanor despite cutting right to the heart of the matter.
Once again, she reminded Laura of the big hunky demon—just in a svelte and feminine package.
“Actions speak louder than words,” the redhead continued, “and those show that you don’t trust Mindy—which is why communication has broken down, both here at home and on our latest mission.”
The redhead shook her head. “It doesn’t seem like basic Mind Powered bias, which would settle with time and exposure. And even if it was, we can’t just wait it out. So spill, why don’t you trust one of the people who worked so hard to put this family together?”
Hope flinched at being called out. Her feathers hissed against the couch as her wings tried to tuck in tight to her back.
“There’s no need to be so harsh, babe,” Silvie said and then pouted at the vixen to her left.
Her body language screamed that she wanted nothing more than to comfort the wounded angel. The silver-haired hero restrained herself and stayed in her seat, though she leaned towards the woman to her right.
Raev rolled her eyes again but she shifted a bit in her seat so that two of the six big fluffy tails that pooled around her could reach past Silvie’s chair to brush down the angel’s arm and wing in a soothing manner. “I know you’re not this fragile, Hope—even if pretending to be that way makes avoiding tough conversations so much easier. Come on, sisters need to be open and honest with each other.”
“I feel it hard to express myself when everyone is against me,” Hope said stiffly, although she didn’t move to stop Raev’s soothing tail brushing her arm and wing.
“No one is against you, Honey-Buns.” Silvie pouted some more. “We just want to understand why you don’t trust Mindy. We told you everything. Darling told you everything. Do you not believe us?”
“I believe Boyd and I believe you.” Hope at least had the decency to meet Mindy’s eye as she said, “It is Mindy I have a hard time trusting. It isn’t her story… it’s a lot of things.”
“We have time,” Mindy replied, maintaining a calm demeanor. “I would love to know what I have shown you that makes trusting me so hard. I want your trust, Hope. I want to be your sister. Tell me what I can do or stop doing to help make that easier for you.”
Despite the curvy goth’s calm demeanor, Laura could imagine that not being able to read the angel’s mind was more than a little frustrating given the situation.
“When you...” Hope paused and glanced at Laura as she remembered the ground rules.
She narrowed her eyes at the other woman before she continued. “I feel like you took something from me—well, from me and Silvie. It was bad enough that you took Boyd’s first time—something that should have been Silvie's or mine—but then you hurt him with it... you hurt him so bad that he became even more of an emotional cripple than he'd been before you tried to 'help' him.”
Hope balled her fists and they shook with emotion. “I feel the deepest, darkest fear when I think about how easy it would be for you to destroy this family. I feel I do not know who you are because you are so different from when I last saw you. Which is the true mask that you wear? The cool, blank aloofness? Or the tender, caring open smile? Which one is pretend, and how deep does the deception go? How can I be sure the hurting has ended? Is Boyd still being used? Are we all?”
Her voice rose as she let it all out. Once the angel got started, her concerns just flowed. She wasn’t done yet, either. “And to top it all, I feel anger when I think that despite the years I spent watching and wanting him, you got to return to him before me!”
Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and shook out her hands. “I want to trust you because Boyd trusts you. He loves you and I know he wants me to love you, too. But I can’t help but remember what happened last time. How much worse he got after you loved him and then left.”
The goth’s cool mask cracked. “That was not my fault!” Mindy hissed as she half stood from her chair. “Leaving was the absolute last thing I wanted to do.”
Laura held up a hand, arching an eyebrow at a chagrinned Mindy—who nodded and sat back down.
“Sorry,” the dark haired woman said.
Nodding to Laura, Hope began again. “I feel this terrible fear because there is a chance you are still using him… that when you are done, you will discard Boyd—just like it seemed you did last time. I don’t trust you because I know that would absolutely destroy him—again.”
The angel shook her head. “I can’t let that happen again, so I don’t want to trust you. If being vigilant lets me see it coming, I can at least warn him. I don’t ever want to… no, I can’t see him like that ever again.”
Laura watched Mindy’s reaction closely as she flinched, pain flickering through her amethyst eyes. The trauma specialist bit her lip, fighting the urge to dive into the sea of questions that surged forward every time Boyd's shadowed past peeked through in their conversations. There was something about the enigmatic layers of his story that fascinated her. It drew her in even more than the allure of his rugged, battle-worn charm.
“Mindy, how does that make you feel?” Laura asked, leaning forward slightly just to add some movement to the still room.
“I… I have no idea how to overcome Hope’s feelings. She knows—at least I know Boyd has told her—that I never rejected him… that the memory that hurt him so badly was implanted by the Authority. I… I feel at a loss.” Mindy let out a sigh, then shook her head. “I can only hope she… I can only hope you, Hope, can come to trust me… in time.”
“Bullshit,” Raev scoffed, shaking her head at the goth. “She was open and honest, Mindy. Your turn.”
“Fine, I feel hurt and angry when people remind me of the damage that the Authority used me to do to Boyd.” Mindy crossed her arms and leaned back into her seat, dropping her emotionless mask in favor of a much more honest scowl. “I just accept it because I know I deserve it. Letting myself fall for him was a selfish decision that led to Boyd getting hurt—even if I never wanted to harm him.”
Laura was feeling more and more out of her depth as these women discussed their past.
“Awwww, Moonbeam!”
Silvie pouted at the gothic woman and was unable to restrain herself this time. She floated over and pulled the woman into a hug.
“I know it’s hard,” the normally bubbly woman said softly, “but you always tell me I can’t blame myself for what I had to do. Well, if that’s true, then you can’t blame yourself, either. You only wanted to help him and you fell for him while trying to help. Darling is really hard not to love. What happened next wasn’t your fault, okay?”
Mindy pursed her lips, but nodded.
“If I have to keep working on letting go of responsibility for things I couldn’t control,” Silvie said, “then so do you.”
Hope watched Silvie hug and reassure Mindy with a scowl, her shoulders slumping slightly.
“Thanks, Silv,” Mindy said softly.
Suddenly the silver-haired powerhouse rounded on her childhood friend, floating between Hope and Mindy with her fists planted on her barely-there-shorts’ clad hips.
“Hope, do you really think that Mindy fooled both Boyd and me?” she asked. While her stance was firm, Silvie’s tone was gentle.
“It’s still possible.” Hope sounded and looked less than certain. She also looked like she would rather be anywhere else but here.
“I don’t doubt your intent, angel… but you should know that Mindy would never hurt Boyd,” Raev said, and then she sighed. “Tink was also cautious of Mindy—right up until Boyd Enhanced her and she got a peek into Mindy’s soul. I know the bonding experience that we all share in when it happens goes both ways, but I also know it is a little intense when it’s your first.”
She grinned at Silvie, giving the still floating woman a wink. “I know I didn’t get much about Silvie that first time. But in the times since then, I’ve gotten bits about Tink, Mindy, and even you. It’s a shame that these trust issues will only make it take longer for the Big Guy to realize he can and wants to bring in another of us.”
The foxy woman blew a raspberry. “Hope could try focusing on Mindy when it happens, but who knows how long that will be.”
Hope pouted at Raev and Silvie pouted at Hope while returning to her seat. If the trauma specialist could make a wish, it would be that when ‘it’ happened, it would be with her. Laura resisted the urge to sigh.
“Well…” Mindy hesitated, her darkly painted lips curling down in a frown before she shook her head. “Never mind. It might be a potential solution, but this wouldn’t be the time to use it.”
“It can’t hurt to share the idea,” Laura stated.
Of course, she had zero ulterior motives whatsoever. None… right. She was more invested than ever in fixing these women’s trust issues. Given what Raev had just said, it seemed this trust issue was an obstacle blocking her own path forward.
Mindy shrugged but gave Hope a concerned glance. “I’m not recommending this for you, but I think it could be done. Please confirm that you understand that before I bring it up. I promise I’m not trying to trick you.”
“I… I understand,” Hope agreed. She frowned, even as she nodded her head and watched Mindy with wary eyes.
The gorgeous goth who favored those loose but clingy kaftans studied the angel sitting on the other side of Silvie. The silence between then stretched as she chewed on her lower lip. Mindy hesitated to share her idea, even after expressing that she wasn’t offering it up as a solution she favored.
Laura wasn’t sure if she was worried about how it might be taken, or if this was some advanced form of reverse psychology. It didn’t feel like a manipulation—at least not to her. Of course, Mindy might just be that good. Given that all four women with her had been raised in a PAC and had who knows how many hours of training in placating and convincing non-Powereds to do what the Authority wanted, it was possible that all of this was theater.
Hell, it could even be considered an early step in Laura’s training. She thought that unlikely, though. The emotions being shared all seemed too real, too raw. Silvie was torn between who to help, or if she could or even should help. Raev kept peering from one to the other, trying to find the right words to say that would move things along.
Both of them had been stuck like that for a bit.
Mindy appeared a bit more put together than the others. She’d hidden behind her mask, except for those few minutes there when Hope had accused her of manipulating Boyd and damaging the big demon. Then, guilt had weighed heavily on her shoulders, with pain darkening her expression.
Hope appeared to be regretting every word that she’d said when she’d cast her allegations. Though interestingly, she now seemed to anticipate whatever solution the accused might offer up. Normally, when people asserted that they both did and did not want to trust someone, it meant they didn’t want to trust them at all—but felt pressured to.
Laura got the distinct impression that this wasn’t the case here. Hope honestly wanted to trust Mindy, but had good reasons not to.
Their resident mind reader took a deep, steadying breath before responding. “Now that I have both experienced and witnessed an enhancement with another, I believe that I could trigger that moment of connection with my Power.” Mindy explained her idea simply, but continued cautiously. “It would have to be during a similarly intimate moment, and I would have to be in contact with both you and Boyd. Also, you would have to open yourself fully to my Power.”
She held out her hands and shrugged. “Since you don’t trust me, I wouldn’t recommend it.”
Chapter 29
Hope frowned for a moment, studying the other woman before she sighed and said, “It isn’t that I don’t want to trust you.”
“Dammit, this is so unfair.” Raev scowled. “I’ve been waiting for a chance with Mindy and now Hope is going to breeze right on past me in line.”
Silvie rolled her eyes.
“Wait, don’t you need to test it? I volunteer for any testing!” The tips of all six of her tails swayed in amusement.
Silvie flinched at the word ‘testing’. “I guess I’m not quite over that yet,” she admitted.
Raev’s ears went flat and her tails stilled as she flinched. “Right… oops. I’ll watch my phrasing, especially when we're talking about past stuff… like tonight. Sorry, babe.”
“It’s okay,” Silvie replied with a bell-like giggle that lost only a little of its chime. “It’s silly to let a word like ‘testing’ have power over me. Don’t avoid it too much. I can cope.”
“Hope, how are you feeling?” Laura brought them back on track, turning the group's attention back to the angel who wore a thoughtful expression.
“Like I need to know more,” Hope replied. “How would I know that whatever I sensed was the result of Boyd’s Power and not something you wanted me to sense?”
Mindy grimaced. “That’s why I didn’t bother offering to share my memories from the period so you could see how I felt during all of it.” The goth gave a fair imitation of one of Boyd’s shrugs and then favored the angel an understanding smile. “That would be meaningless since you don’t trust me.”
“How would this be any different than that?” Hope asked, arching one of her golden eyebrows.
