When i know your name, p.18
When I Know Your Name, page 18
She recognised his expression. His ‘stare until you give up the truth’ look. ‘Did she? I don’t know why.’
‘Yes, I thought that was odd,’ he said. ‘You two are never normally out of touch. What are you doing with your time these days?’
She smiled. ‘Just what exactly do you think I’d be doing with my time?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘I’ve been at home, of course. Where else would I be? I must have missed her call, that’s all.’
Oh yes, Daddy dear. You can’t reach me now.
He nodded, with a hint of irritation that this was all he was going to get. He didn’t believe her, but she was confident that the last place he’d have guessed she had been was with the man who had held her in captivity for all those days. She was safe enough.
‘I’m glad you came, Elena, that you gave your father the opportunity to explain,’ her mother said, breaking the moment. She gave Elena another hug.
Elena smiled. ‘Yes, well, I’d better get going now.’
‘Your mother’s right. Thank you for coming to see us,’ her father said as he opened the door.
He reached out to hug her too before she had the opportunity to stop him, but it was awkward and clunky, her cheek hitting his shoulder as he clumsily pulled her towards him.
‘I’ll see you soon,’ she said as she walked out the door and down the steps, listening to the door closing behind her.
The rain had stopped, and the cooled, refreshed air filled her lungs. Everywhere was wet, washed and invigorated by the storm. Little droplets of water fell from rain-soaked leaves as the emerging sun shone against wet ground.
She’d done it. She’d faced her parents. It hadn’t been a great success, but that was to be expected. She’d worry about what happened next another time. For now, she was glad to be free. She looked up at the sky and saw little blue flecks that were starting to emerge from the steel-grey clouds. The thunder had faded into the distance, soon to be gone.
Looking out onto the street, she saw Ethan waiting in his car a few strides away. There was nothing suspicious about this scene, nothing that exposed who he was and what he did. He was hidden in plain sight. Anyone could walk straight past him and never know the devastating consequences of making his acquaintance. But she knew who he was, and what he was capable of, and at the centre of it all, she was his main concern. She liked that fact a lot.
She pulled open the door. ‘Thank God that’s over. Please just take me away from here. Mine or yours, I don’t care.’
‘And he didn’t apologise to you,’ Ethan said as he pulled into the underground car park beneath his apartment. ‘Nothing at all?’
‘Nope,’ Elena replied. ‘Not a genuine one, anyway. I stupidly expected at least some attempt at remorse, but there was nothing. He seemed more frustrated that he doesn’t know how I’m spending my time exactly, rather than how sorry he should be.’
‘He’s struggling to work you out,’ Ethan said as he parked the car. ‘I think you were probably an open book before the abduction, and now he doesn’t know you. He’s losing control, and that’s making him panic.’ He switched off the engine and glanced at Elena. ‘But if you want more answers, you know what we need to do.’
Elena opened the door. ‘Really, Ethan?’ she said, exasperated. ‘You want to include my parents? Already?’
He shrugged. ‘You know I do.’
She couldn’t find the words to answer as they made their way to Ethan’s apartment, and once inside, she headed straight for the balcony and pushed open the doors, needing the air. The afternoon sun was still high, the sky an unbroken blue. Any trace of the earlier storm had evaporated into the air.
She listened to the sound of water lapping at the small shingle bank below, its rhythmic sounds soothing her as she watched boats chug down the river, their destinations unknown. Leaning against the railings, she tipped her face up towards the sun and allowed herself to calm. Ethan had disappeared to his office, and that was fine with her too. Right now, she didn’t want to know what the next phase of his game would be, especially if it involved her parents. That might be too much to bear, and it made her play the conversation between herself and her father over and over in her mind, unpicking every word, looking for hidden meanings.
The faint sound of feet padding through the apartment interrupted her thoughts.
‘I never appreciated how the sound of the river against the urban landscape could be so soothing,’ she said as she shielded her eyes from the sun to watch Ethan join her.
‘I suppose it is,’ he said, standing by her side, leaning against the railings too.
‘It definitely is,’ she said with a sigh. ‘Peace in all the chaos.’
She caught him watching. ‘What?’
‘Everything okay? You looked deep in thought there.’
‘I don’t know,’ she said, looking out over the river. ‘Meeting my parents today has brought everything to the surface. All the bad stuff. My parents, my brother, my entire dysfunctional family.’
‘You call it dysfunctional, I call it borderline psychopathic.’
She smirked and nudged him. ‘Well, if we’re going to get brutal about it, okay, but I have mentioned this to you before. You have been warned.’
‘Can’t argue with that.’
‘My father dominates the family. He makes the rules that we all have to abide by, and God forbid anyone breaks them. And now, my brother seems to be following in his footsteps. I’m sure he hates me, and I really don’t know why. He always has. I could bore you with stories from our childhood, stories that from the outside appear to be trivial sibling rivalry, but to me they were so much more sinister than that. And now, weeks after my release, I’ve heard nothing from him. Nothing at all. Maybe it’s because we’re so different, who knows. Maybe he thinks I’m weak.’
Ethan brushed his hand over hers. ‘You’re far from weak.’
‘Then there’s my mother,’ she continued. ‘The mouse who is too frightened to rock the boat, and finally there’s me, on the outside of it all. I’d accepted that a long time ago, and don’t get me wrong, it’s no big deal. You can’t choose your family, and my life is full of wonderful people I adore.’
His eyes found hers, and he smiled. ‘Adore?’
She smiled back. ‘Yes, so I’m not in need of any pity. But it’s just this… my father’s refusal to pay the ransom, it made me feel so… abandoned. And their hurry to brush everything under the carpet now that it’s over, to move on under a veneer of normality – whatever that is – is just so strange. So cold. Could that be motive?’ She sighed. ‘You already know this, I’m sure, that I work at the British Museum?’
His face gave away that yes, he was well aware.
‘It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I spent as much time as possible at the museum as a child, fascinated by different civilisations and how they lived, how they loved their families and friends. The social order of things. I studied if it was so greatly different from ours. Anyway, the ancients – the Greeks and the Romans – do you know what they used to do to unwanted children?’
He shook his head. It didn’t matter what he knew, just that she needed to express herself.
‘They used to “expose” them,’ she explained. ‘They literally left them outside, exposed and at the mercy of the elements if they were going to be a burden on the family. Left outside to die, bundled up, in the street. Especially girls. Girls were always unwanted, boys the expected heirs. And girls came with the expense of a dowry, you see, so it was downhill all the way for us females. Sometimes there was salvation though. Sometimes the parents would try to sell them, or perhaps a childless couple would take them.’ She shrugged. ‘It was an awful, terrible thing to do, but it was their culture. It was what they did. Another mouth to feed was a serious consideration.’ She was momentarily lost in her knowledge and the safety and grounding it provided. ‘They did what they did for a reason. But I can’t seem to get past the fact that my parents exposed me and left me for dead, and all for what? This wasn’t about culture, the prejudice of gender or the worry of another mouth to feed. It was just about money, protecting their wealth.’
‘And how does that make you feel?’ he asked.
She looked at him, understanding where he was going with this. ‘Like I owe them nothing. Particularly my loyalty.’
He nodded. ‘So let me widen the search to include your parents.’
She considered it, and something flipped in her mind. A switch, replacing the sadness with a strange force that began to take over and spread: a new synapse firing in her brain, sending waves through her body and bloodstream like a virus, infecting her. She liked the feeling, found strength from it, and discovered a sense of control in her own life again that had been lacking for so long.
‘Yes, okay,’ she said, her voice low but unwavering, as was her eye contact. ‘Include my parents and brother in your search now. However unpalatable, I need to know everything.’
He faced her, satisfied with her answer, a telling smile on his lips. ‘You’re sure?’
‘Completely.’
Elena decided on something there and then: that from now on, people would be punished for mistreating her. No more was she the passive bystander in her own life. She was taking charge, stronger now, and had the talents of a man who did things differently – a merchant of secrets – and that meant so did she. Knowledge would be her new power, and Ethan would get it for her. He’d bring her the world if she asked for it. And she would, regardless of how long it would take. She would put her faith in the man opposite her, watching her intently now.
‘Welcome to my world, Elena,’ he said. ‘Let me show you more.’
He took her by the hand and led her indoors.
Ethan took Elena back into the living room, and she followed, empowered with a strength to face whatever lay ahead. She walked with him towards his office, her hand in his, until they were standing in front of the many computers.
‘You’re fully on board now,’ he said, pulling up a chair. ‘I can see it.’
‘So?’
‘So I suggest we take things up a notch. Up the stakes a little bit.’
‘Tell me,’ she said, taking a seat.
Ethan shuffled wires and boxes about on his cluttered office desk before settling on a small chrome stick the size of his thumb. ‘Ah, here it is. The very familiar flash drive.’
‘Yep, I’ve seen one of those before.’
‘I’m sure you have,’ he said. ‘And at first glance my flash drive looks pretty much like yours or any other, but it’s not.’
She smiled. ‘Of course it isn’t,’ she said, taking the small metal bar from his grasp to inspect it.
‘No, because with this little gem, while it’s plugged into a device, it’s making a helpful little backup of all the laptop’s documents, passwords, internet history and cookies. Without anyone ever knowing. It’ll give me everything I need to see all the recent activity. Very simple, and very effective.’
She glanced up at him. ‘I thought you ate cookies.’
He raised an eyebrow, finding the humour.
She continued to twist the small metal object between her fingers, watching him as he watched her hands move. ‘I assumed you’d check everyone out from all your computers here,’ she said. ‘And via that email.’
‘Yes, everyone will obviously be covered in my global search, but we need some immediate results, and this will get them for us.’
‘So you want me to sneak around.’
He shrugged. ‘Your parents will expect another visit soon, and you’re going to be tying up some loose ends with Adam and Charlotte, yes? So this will be a good opportunity to look at their home systems to see what they may be hiding, if anything. Maybe we can kill three birds with one stone. Do you think you could do that?’
She stared at him, understanding that this could plunge her into a darkness she might never resurface from. She placed the flash drive on the desk. ‘I’m not including Charlotte.’
‘We can’t exclude anyone at this point.’
‘No. Charlotte doesn’t come into this. She doesn’t deserve this.’
He faced her, his eyes demanding. ‘How do you know?’
‘She’s my friend, Ethan, that’s why,’ she replied, ignoring his reaction. She wouldn’t back down on this. ‘Look, I’m on board to search my family, that’s fine. They have it coming. And the same with Adam, that’s fine too. But none of my friends deserve this kind of invasion. There’s no way they’d be involved.’
‘Well, I’ll pick it up, then,’ he said. ‘From here. I won’t be excluding anyone.’
She blew out a sigh. ‘Fine, I can’t stop you, but I can’t be part of it.’
‘Fine. I get it,’ he said, his expression softening. ‘Maybe I was asking too much too soon.’
She didn’t reply.
‘So, let’s get back to this,’ he continued. ‘If you can get creative enough to gain access to any laptops lying around, this will be perfect. Plug it in and let it do its thing.’
‘I’m sure I’ll find a way,’ she said. ‘But what if there are problems? What if I don’t get a chance to do it, or I’m not left alone for long enough?’
‘Ultimately, it won’t matter, but I’m sure you can think of something. Be creative.’
She sat back. ‘Leave it with me.’
‘Hmm, you’re learning well. I like it,’ he said.
‘I’ve had a good teacher.’
‘Indeed you have,’ he said, checking the screens. ‘Is there anyone else we should look at within your immediate family?’
Her mind went back to her conversation with her father, and she thought of one person in particular. ‘My uncle, Edmond, my father’s brother.’
He nodded. ‘I’m aware of him.’
‘He’s one creepy guy. Always has been. He mainly keeps himself to himself on the family farm in Somerset, so I rarely see him, and that’s fine by me. But there’s something my father said about his reaction during my abduction.’
‘What’s that?’
‘He wanted my father to delay, to consider refusing to pay the ransom.’
‘Did he now?’
‘Yes, he thought they’d be playing into the captors’ hands. Giving them too much control, especially as I might be killed anyway.’
‘I see. Another facet of your strange and intriguing family.’
‘I know. I’ve never been a fan of him with his beady little eyes, watching everyone, but he’s always seemed harmless enough. He likes to come to London every now and then. Always gets fed well at my parents’ house. He scoots between theirs and a couple of old-style gentlemen’s clubs in town.’
‘Leave that with me,’ he said. ‘He’ll go to the top of the list for now. And I think I’d like to meet this bunch of people you call your family. And soon.’
‘Well, that’s a hard no,’ she said assertively, as the thought of Ethan and her family in the same room together left her with a horrible sense of dread. ‘Investigating them is one thing, but meeting them? No way. Too dangerous.’
‘Hmm, maybe,’ he said with a telling glint in his eye. ‘But fun.’
‘For me or you?’
‘Me, obviously,’ he said, giving her a wink.
She couldn’t mask the sound of laughter that spilled from her lips. She liked the playful Ethan. ‘You’re a bad man.’
‘I’ve never pretended otherwise, Elena,’ he said with a mix of humour and deadly seriousness. ‘So, who do you want to visit first?’
She sighed as she considered it. Neither option of her family or Adam was an appealing one. ‘Adam, I think. Let’s get that over with. It’s not going to be an easy conversation to have.’
Ethan nodded. ‘Interesting. I see you’re up for this more than I thought, tackling the most awkward situation first. Fair play.’
‘I’m glad I surprise you,’ she said with a hint of sarcasm.
‘Baby, you surprised me the day I first met you.’
She smiled and nudged his leg with her foot.
He soon became lost in the information on the computer screen but glanced at her and smiled when she continued to watch him. ‘Okay. Can hear you thinking again. What is it?’
‘It’s a nice place you have here.’
‘Thanks,’ he said vaguely as he worked.
She rose from her chair, went to the pictures on the wall and studied them. The light falling against the canvasses almost brought them to life. She turned to him. ‘Hmm. I just wondered if, you know’ – she cleared her throat – ‘you had anyone else in your life, or…’
‘There are no other women, Elena,’ he said, keeping his eyes on his screens. ‘Only you.’
‘Well, it’s not a problem or anything,’ she said, attempting a blasé attitude despite her face flushing as his words spoke to her body as well as her mind. ‘I mean, you and me, we’re not… this doesn’t have to be… well, anyway… I just wondered.’
‘Okay,’ he said, chuckling. ‘Whatever you say.’
She paced the room, a lightness within her from the instant relief of knowing she was the only one. Like Ethan, she too didn’t want to share.
He continued working, and she remained silent for as long as possible until she could bear it no longer. ‘But now we’re here,’ she ventured, going back to her chair, leaning towards him a little, ‘maybe you could share a bit more about your life?’
‘Well, I have a younger brother,’ he began. ‘Oliver. He lives in France. He’s an artist and couldn’t be more stereotypical. You know the type, living a torturous existence, always searching for his muse. But I make sure he’s okay financially, so he’s also an irritatingly happy son of a bitch.’
Elena saw that while he might have wanted to express casual indifference, the affection he felt towards his sibling shone through anyway. ‘How often do you see him?’
‘When I can. I go over there, spend a couple of months with him until we can’t bear the sight of each other.’
‘And your parents?’
