Ruthless rebel black hal.., p.34
Ruthless Rebel (Black Hallows Book 5), page 34
“Are you okay?” he gasps, his eyes assessing me the same way I am him, and it’s only then I glance down and see just how much blood I am covered in.
“I’m fine, it’s not my blood,” I tell him, as Elle and Max burst into the small clearing where we are.
“Oh, Ash,” Elle cries, rushing towards us and dropping to her knees beside me, but stopping herself before she throws her arms around him.
“I’m okay, Hells Bells, I’m hard to kill remember,” he grunts, and I ignore the pain in my side, as I dip down and hook my arm around him, forcing us both to our feet. “Where is Logan?” He asks, and my eyes snap to Max, as he tells the others through the comms that we found Ash.
The silence that follows feels like a lifetime, as both Elle and Max stay alert to our surroundings, and I’m about to scream down my own mic for an answer, when suddenly Jace comes through, “We got Logan, he’s pretty banged up, but we got him.”
Relief like I have never known washes through me, as Elle and I share another look. “We need to get back to the house,” she demands, and we all instantly start moving, knowing there is nowhere as safe as that right now, not with the Crows and the rest of the security guys waiting.
I keep Asher upright, using my body as a crutch for his own, and I know he must be in pain, because he doesn’t even bitch me out for doing so. The weight of him is welcome, as I guide us back through the trees slowly while Max stays on guard. Elle calls home, telling Arthur to be ready with supplies, who lets her know that the Crows have already sent someone to pick up Aria Harris to help out too, all we need to do is get home.
Asher cries out in pain as we make it back to the car, and Elle and I lift him into the backseat, and the door is barely closed behind us before Max is flooring it, getting us there as fast as we can.
My hands search Asher, checking him for any serious wounds and he grunts, “I’m okay, it’s just my shoulder and my ribs,” he grits, dirt, sweat, and blood lining his face, as I rip away the shoulder of his shirt and find a bullet hole there.
“He’s been shot,” I shout, taking off my jacket and pressing it against him, as I search his torso for other injuries. “What happened to your ribs?” I ask, finding them completely discolored.
“Metal bar,” he coughs, blood splattering out of his mouth, and my only solace is the sight of the house, as we roll through the gates past the Crows.
Zack and the others are already back, and as I help Ash from the car, I hear the welcome sound of Logan’s voice. “I’m fine, brother, get off me,” he snaps, his tone laced in pain, as he searches the driveway and adds, “Where is Asher? I need to see Asher.”
I push past Marcus and Jace, until my eyes meet his, but he is already completely focused on Ash. “Missing me already,” Ash spits, holding a firm hand to his ribs, as I guide him towards Logan.
My eyes scan him instantly, taking in his own hoard of injuries not too far from Asher’s, as bile rises up my throat. Fuck, I almost lost them.
“I thought you were dead. Are you okay?” Logan asks, stumbling towards us in both relief and desperation, and Asher nods.
“I’m okay,” he tells him, even though it’s a lie, but right now it doesn’t matter.
“He’s alive, he’s okay,” he breathes, turning to both me and Zack and smiling, as he adds, “Everything is going to be okay.”
Then he collapses to the floor.
40
LINCOLN
Screams and shouts ring out around me as everyone starts moving, but it’s like everything is happening in slow motion. I’m trying to move but I can’t, my feet aren’t moving fast enough, I can’t get over to him fast enough. Suddenly I am eight years old again, watching my mother die right in front of my eyes, and I can’t do anything to stop it.
No, this can’t be happening, not again.
“Logan,” I roar, his name tearing from my throat as I drag Asher towards where he dropped, and look down at him in disbelief. “Lo,” I snap, as Marcus comes to my aid and takes over holding Asher, as I fall to my knees, pressing my hands to his body and he grunts in pain. “Someone call 911,” I yell, wondering where Arthur is, as blood starts to appear at the side of his mouth. “Logan, what can I do, tell me what to do?” I beg, as panic almost threatens to consume me, my eyes searching his body for the worst of his injuries, but they’re everywhere.
“Look at me,” Logan splutters, his fingers flexing as if he is trying to reach for my hand, and I intertwine our fingers. “I love you, Lincoln Blackwell, I want you to know that, I love you so fucking much,” he tells me firmly, his words gasped and forced, but I’m already shaking my head.
“No, don’t you fucking dare say that to me, not like this,” I snap, ripping open his shirt, only to choke out a cry. His entire torso is turning a mixture of black and purple. Fuck. “He’s bleeding internally,” I cry to no one in particular, and all of them just stand and stare, knowing none of them can save him.
“I love you,” he forces out again, staring at me with nothing but pain, before he flicks his eyes up to Ash. “And fuck, I love you too, Asher Donovan. I think I have since the first moment I saw you,” he splutters, coughing out more blood, but Asher just stares at him in complete and utter silence.
I hear Elle crying, as Arthur bursts out of the door screaming his son's name, but Logan’s focus moves back to me, his tears mixing with blood as he looks at me expectantly.
“I love you too,” I breathe, leaning down and pressing my lips to his, kissing him with everything I’ve got, and tasting his pain, before dropping my head to his. “I love you. You’re the first person I ever let myself love since I was a fucking kid, so you can’t fucking leave me, not like this, stay with me, please,” I plead, knowing that if I lose him, I will never recover.
“I love you,” he repeats, his voice fading a little, and I pull back and see his eyes glazing over, as Arthur drops down on his other side.
“Son, can you hear me?” He asks, filled with nothing but pain, as his medically-trained eyes assess the damage that’s been done, only to look completely defeated. “It’s okay, my son, I’m here, I’ve got you,” he forces out, swiping his tears with his shoulders, as Zack drops to his knees in disbelief.
Jace is holding back a crying Helen, but the pain-filled scream comes from his twin’s mouth, as she rushes from the house. “Logan,” she shrieks, running towards us, only for Max to catch her around the waist, as she collapses when she spots Logan lying on the floor. “What are you all doing?” She wails. “Don’t just fucking stand there, do something, help him!” She fights against Max’s hold, as Logan seems to finally hear her pained cries.
“Lily,” he breathes out her name with a contented smile on his face, and my heart starts to break. “My sweet Lilypad,” he sighs, looking up to the sky, and his hand goes loose in mine.
“I’m here, Logan, it’s okay, I’m here, just stay with me, please,” she begs, breaking her way out of Max’s arms and crawling on her knees to reach her twin. “You can’t leave me, remember? It’s just me and you against the world. You have my back, and I have yours,” she sobs, throwing her arms around him, but he doesn’t respond, he can’t.
Because Logan Royton is dead.
She must feel his life slip away beneath her, because she pulls back and starts to scream. “No, please no, I need you, don’t fucking leave me,” she sobs, moving to start CPR on him, and watching her pump her hands against his lifeless chest will probably stay with me forever. “No, you promised me, Lo, you promised you would never leave me, and you never break your promises,” she blubbers out, as Arthur tries to console her.
“He’s gone,” he chokes out, and more cries sound out around me, as I drop back from my knees to the floor, staring at his body in shock.
“No, he can’t be gone, he was all I had left, I can’t lose him,” she cries, her entire body beginning to tremble, as she starts to shake her brother. “Wake up, please, Logan, just come back to me, I can’t do this without you, you have to wake up, please,” she begs, her voice breaking completely on that last word, as Zack staggers to his feet and moves towards her.
“Lils,” he breathes, dropping back to his knees beside her, and gently grabbing her chin between his fingers. “Lils, he’s gone, Sweetheart, he isn’t coming back,” he forces out, tears streaming down his face, as Helen breaks completely, and Jace has to slowly drop them down to the floor just to keep hold of her.
His words seem to get through to her as she mutters, “No, he’s not gone, he can’t be.” Then the sobs shake her entire body, as Zack pulls her into his arms and they cry together, yet all I can do is stare at Logan’s body.
Two minutes ago he was telling me he loved me, and now he’s dead.
How fucked up is that?
“Asher,” Elle screams in a panic, and I turn just in time to see his body go limp in Marcus’ arm, as he struggles to hold him upright, and all I can do is watch in horror as he passes out completely.
My eyes flick around the driveway, as sirens start to blare in the distance, and I can see the sorrow and pity in the eyes of the security team. Like them, I watch as a family mourns their dead son and brother, the man I love, while the rest of them rush to Asher’s side. Marcus performs CPR as Max stems the bleeding in his shoulder, while Elle screams his name over and over, and all I can do is sit and watch it all unfold.
I can hear Jace calling my name, shaking my shoulders, as two of the security guys lift Helen off the floor, but my eyes only move between Logan and Asher. One of them already dead, and the other one dying, and it’s all my fault.
I should have known that monsters don’t ever get happy endings.
41
ASHER
He’s dead, Michael Riviera is dead. I couldn’t save him, I couldn’t stop my father, and now I have to deliver the news to the other person I couldn’t save. I’m sitting outside the large house in a town car, wishing I was anywhere but here, yet I have no choice. Michael is dead, and now I am the only one who knows where she is. Exiting the car, I walk up the driveway towards the huge front door of the house. A house I only have the address of because Michael trusted me with it, and I failed. So I can’t fail her, not again.
I raise my hand to ring the bell, when a voice calls out from behind me, “Well I certainly hope you’re here looking for me,” he drawls, and I turn to find a guy around my age, staring at me with a smirk. When I don’t respond, he closes the distance between us, his eyes trailing over me from top to bottom and back again. “So, are you?” He asks, biting his lip, and his closeness makes me nervous, but not uncomfortable.
“I’m here for Elle,” I finally respond, and his face drops.
“Are you Marcus?” He asks, and I almost laugh. I bet when I finally find her, she wishes it was Marcus and not me, but I fear we might have lost him for good too, the moment his father was killed.
“No,” I reply simply, not elaborating any further, but that only makes his smile return.
“Ah, so you’re the infamous Asher Donovan,” he purrs, inspecting me even closer, as he walks around me like a predator circling his prey. “You’re not what I expected at all,” he adds, licking his lips, and I can’t help but feel under scrutiny.
“What were you expecting?” I snap, irritated by his proximity and presence, and his grin only grows.
“No one as delicious as you, my little psycho,” he quips back, his little nickname getting to me more than it should.
“And you are?” I question, even though from his attitude I am pretty sure I know exactly who this little ray of sunshine is.
“My name is Logan Royton.”
The memory slips away, and then there is just pain. So much pain. Everything hurts and I don’t know why. My eyes won’t open, why won’t they open? Where am I? Where is Logan?
Pain.
There is just so much pain.
“Come on, my little psycho, I know you want me,” Logan drawls, watching me from his spot on the sofa, while I sit on the floor with my daughter.
“And how did you come to that false conclusion?” I muse, not taking my eyes off Cassie, just taking the time to memorize everything she is doing. The visits I make out here are already too few and far between, so I have to make every second count.
“Why else would you come all the way out here?” He asks, and I flick my eyes to find him watching me in amusement.
“You mean aside from my best friend and my daughter?” I raise my eyebrows at him in question, and he rolls his eyes, slipping off the couch and making his shirt ride up a little, revealing a slither of his lean stomach, and I quickly avert my eyes.
“When are you going to give in to this tension?” He quips, changing tactics, and coming to lay down on his stomach beside my daughter, leaning on one of his hands, and using the other to gently tickle her stomach.
“You mean the tension you created in your own head?” I snap back, keeping my focus on Cassie, ignoring the goosebumps his proximity evokes.
“Ash, I know you want me, you just haven’t let yourself admit it yet.”
His statement almost makes me laugh, because it’s not a matter of admitting it, it’s a matter of ignoring it. Of forcing it deep down into the darkest corners of my mind, and only bringing it out when I need it. And when I’m this close to him, I don’t need it, I already have it. His presence is like a lighthouse, always guiding you someplace safer, and I can’t put out that light with my darkness. No, I need to stay away from him, and keep pushing him away from me.
“You don’t want someone like me, Lo, trust me,” I reply softly, just as my daughter lets out a giggle from his teasing.
“Your daddy is so silly sometimes, but one day I’ll be your step daddy, and I’ll whip him into place, don’t you worry,” he coos, as if he truly believes that, and my daughter laughs again, lapping up his every word.
Logan Royton, the ultimate dreamer.
This time, when the memory slips away, the pain just intensifies.
Pain. I’m in pain, there is pain everywhere. That is the first thought that registers in my mind as my eyes begin to flicker. I can hear the distant beeping of machines, and the scent of flowers assaulting my nostrils, but my eyes just feel so fucking heavy. I’m not sure where I am, or how I got here, but when I open my eyes, everything is just so bright and blurry. I close them again, trying to let myself adjust, and when they flicker back open, they focus on the green blanket covering me that isn’t mine.
I wrack my brain trying to remember where I am, or how I got here, and when I move my head to the side, more pain crashes through me and I groan. The sound has someone moving on my left, and I think they say my name, but I can’t be sure. Everything feels fuzzy and my mind is disoriented. I try to swallow, but my throat burns and my lips feel dry. Water, I need water. I don’t know if I say those words out loud, but the next thing I know there is a straw at my lips, and I am sipping the cool liquid into my mouth.
When I let my eyes focus, I find Elle’s tired and tear-stained face, watching me with nothing but worry, yet still I’m confused. “Hells Bells?” I croak, finally taking in the room around me and the bandages going down my arms. “Hells Bells, what happened? Where am I?” Her shaking hand slips into mine, and I watch as more tears fall down her face, and I want to comfort her, but I can’t, I’m in too much pain.
Why am I in so much pain?
Why does it feel like there is a hole in my chest?
“Asher,” she sobs, more tears than I have ever seen from her, and I fucking hate it. “Asher, I thought I lost you. I thought I’d never hear your voice again, or hold your hand,” she cries, squeezing my fingers between hers, and it hurts, but I don’t have the heart to tell her. “You’re in the hospital, but you’re okay, everything is going to be okay,” she adds, though it sounds like she is talking more to herself than to me.
My eyes assess the room again, noting we are the only ones in here, and panic takes hold of me, as memories of being beaten flash through my mind. I was at a meeting, no wait, I was taken on my way to the meeting. It was dark and I was alone. No, wait I wasn’t alone. More pain pulses through my entire body, yet from the cannula in my hand I know they must be giving me something for it, yet still it hurts.
“Elle, what happened?” I breathe out, hating how weak my body feels. “Where is Logan?” I add, knowing he was with me when we were beaten. He was beaten too. First with their fists, and then with the poles, and fuck, it hurt when they attacked me, but it hurt more when they attacked him.
Is he here? Is he still unconscious?
“You were shot, Ash,” Elle starts, trying to wipe away some of her tears, but more keep falling. “The doctor said you will probably need some physical therapy for your shoulder, but you should regain full mobility,” she starts, gesturing towards my right arm. “You have three broken ribs, a perforated eardrum, and a lot of cuts and bruises,” she adds, her voice breaking a little, and it’s now that I notice she isn’t meeting my eye.
“And Logan?” I ask again, making her flinch, but she covers it quickly, slipping her hand from mine, and moving to fix my blankets, while still avoiding my gaze.
“They kept you under for a couple of days, so I had the Deckers take Cassie to their cabin with some of the security guys, I hope that’s okay,” she goes on, standing and moving to the end of the bed to rearrange some flowers on the table there. “I just thought it was best she didn’t see you like this, and wasn’t around for everything that’s going on,” she trails off, her voice cracking again, as she then moves to pour me some more water.
“Elle, where is Logan?”
Her hand shakes as she puts down the jug, moving back to my side, and even though she won’t look at me, I can tell by her face what she isn’t saying.
“Elle, look at me,” I demand, but she shakes her head, tears blinking out of her eyes, and I ignore the agony that wracks my body, as I push myself to sit up, grabbing her hand in mine. “Elle, where is Logan?” I ask, everything in my body burning in pain, but it’s nothing compared to how I feel when her dark, heartbroken eyes finally meet mine, and she shakes her head.
