Book of you and i when t.., p.18
Book of You & I: When Two Souls Collide, page 18
[Mine, only mine.]
I follow his instructions, regulating my breathing with his. After several times, I can feel myself relaxing and controlling my frantic behavior.
[You are not leaving me.]
“Yes, like that, keep going.” He does a couple more with me. “You’re doing great.”
After a while, I calm down enough to hug him back. “Thank you,” I whisper.
“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” He kisses the top of my head. “I’m just relieved that you’re okay.”
“I want to go home,” I mumble, on the verge of bursting into tears again.
[Glass crunches under my back, making me hiss as it pierces me through my skin.]
“We will, soon.” He shushes me, combing his fingers through my hair.
I stay quiet, listening to the sound of his heart. His breathing technique calmed me down, but there’s still something nagging me in the back of my head.
[If I can’t have you, no one will.]
“Hey, Brandon,” I whisper.
“Yeah?”
“What happened to me?” I tilt my head to look at him. “Why am I here? And where are we?”
He looks at me, confusion written all over his face. He stares back. “Ollie,” he says in a quiet voice. “You don’t know?” I shake my head no.
“Shit,” he hisses. “What can you remember?”
I blink quickly as a memory or a dream flashes in my mind. My head starts to hurt again from trying to recall everything; memories get blurred. I’m not sure what’s real and what’s a dream or just my imagination.
[Get off me; I feel my body squirming.]
If I can’t have you, no one can; the feeling of clammy hands sliding over my legs burns my skin.
“Us dancing, and then me going to the bathroom. Everything that happened after feels distorted; it doesn’t make sense.” I take a shaky breath. “What happened to me?”
[Glass flies across the bathroom lobby and shards scratch my skin. The sink cracks, making me flinch.]
He closes his eyes, taking a moment to compose himself. “When I went looking for you in the bathroom at the signing party, it was a mess, completely trashed. Broken glass everywhere, blood smeared on the mirrors, cracked sinks. I couldn’t find you, and I got so, so scared.” He releases a shaky breath, trying not to cry.
[My ears begin to ring, a shrill scream echoing in my head, as if my body is crying out, but my mouth stays closed.]
“And when I finally found you in one of the stalls, lying on a shard-covered floor...” His voice breaks. “I don’t know what happened to you or who did it, but they hurt you badly, Ollie.”
“Oh,” I say in a low voice. “Wait, are we still in New York?”
“Yeah, we are.” He breathes in and out slowly. “We rushed you to the nearest hospital we could find.”
We? I look around, realizing it’s only him with me. Noticing this, he says, “Everyone went back home, mostly to keep the band’s momentum going. Ella and Noah had school and practice, Maia didn’t want to leave Ella by herself and said something about a client. And, well, you know Sam, he had to see them back safely.”
“And you stayed?” My voice sounds small and my heart swells at the thought.
“Of course I did. I couldn’t leave you behind like this, especially since it’s all my fault…”
“What?! No, it’s not. Brandon, you did nothing wrong.”
He shakes his head, fighting back the unshed tears in his eyes. “I left you all alone; if only I had walked you over and waited for you, this would not have happened.”
“Please, don’t think like that.” I slowly try to raise my hand to touch his face, but the pain makes me drop it.
He grabs it, holding it to his heart. “I just hate to see you like this. I’m so sorry, Ollie.” He kisses my hand tenderly.
The feeling of his lips on my skin makes me shiver, but not in a good way. And then something awful lights up in my head.
But who would do that? I recall the dream I just had, and a horrendous thought pops into my head.
“Brandon, was I…you know?” My voice comes out strangled. No, ni pienses así (don’t even think like that).
He closes his eyes, taking in a sharp breath. “I’m sure you were not…let’s hope not.” He hugs me tighter, brushing my hair.
“Could you ask the nurse to find out for sure?” I mumble against his chest.
“Sure, Ollie, anything you need.” He continues to rub my arm, taking his time. “Hey,” he calls me, and I look up.
“Yeah?”
He moves one of his hands to my face, caressing my cheek. “I want you to know how happy and relieved I am that you’re awake and safe. Because I like you, and I care about you, so much.” Looking deep into my eyes, he mutters the words I didn’t know I wanted to hear: “Te quiero (I like you).”
I suck in a breath, not expecting him to say it after all those missed moments, the push and pull. To think that a few weeks ago, we couldn’t even look into each other’s eyes for long. And look at us now, holding each other so tight that we could become one.
“Wait, when did you learn to say it in Spanish?”
The idea of him learning it for me melts my heart, the emotions behind the words meaning more than the fact that he really likes me. It’s as if his whole world is in his arms, the woman he’s falling in love with.
A hint of blush appears on his cheeks. “Maia and Ella. I asked them before they left.”
With my gaze shifting between his eyes, I look for a hint of mockery or fake sentiment but find none. He holds my gaze, looking at me with such tenderness that it could make me melt.
And I can’t stop myself from saying, “Te quiero.”
“Became a slave of my own damn thoughts. Couldn’t seem to escape, couldn’t work it out.” ~ Alone, Alexandra Kessler.
OLIVIA – NEW YORK
"CAN YOU STAND?” Brandon asks as he holds my arms. My legs tremble as I try to stand up.
Using Brandon’s arms for support, I manage to stand up. “I got it.” He lets me go but stays close by.
As I take a few steps forward, it isn’t long before my body can’t take it anymore, and my knees start to buckle. As I search for something to grab, shapes distort and blend. In my attempt to steady myself, I reach out but can’t get a hold of anything. Another second and—
Brandon catches me in his arms before I hit the ground. “I’m sorry, I—”
His hands slip under my legs as he picks me up. “It’s okay, Ollie, I got you.”
He settles me down on the bed, covers me with the sheets, puffs up my pillows, and sits down.
“You don’t have to do all this,” I whisper, shying away.
“And you don’t have to do this alone,” he says, placing his finger under my chin. “We all need a little help sometimes.”
“Well, I don’t,” I whisper in a mocking tone. “Unless it’s from you, then I’d think about it.”
“Oh, you think you’re funny now, do you?” he says to me as he props himself up on his elbows.
“Are you now realizing this? Come on, you can’t be that slow...” I stare back with fake disbelief.
“Well, it did take me weeks to realize that I like you. So, I’d think that’s a pretty good guess.”
I let out a fake gasp and try to push him off. “You are such an asshole, Brandon!”
He holds his position, not budging even a little from my attempt at getting him off me. I need to exercise. This is embarrassing even for me. Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m in the middle of recovering.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he says as he kisses my forehead and looks into my eyes.
He looks at me with such intensity, holding my gaze for what feels like an eternity. The trace of his fingertips on my face, brushing the hair from my face, sends shivers down my spine.
“How can I not like you? How could I have been so unaware not to see how much you mean to me?” He exhales, rubbing his nose against mine. “Te quiero, Olivia.”
I suck in a breath, still not used to the sound of it and how my body reacts to his words. My whole body tingles, butterflies flutter in my stomach, and my heart races. This remarkable man in front of me genuinely adores me. All my flaws, the way I think, everything that makes me who I am. He likes me and cares about me.
Grabbing his face, I pull him toward me and kiss him. Somehow, I can best describe how he’s making me feel with a soft and tender kiss. It doesn’t take him long to kiss me back, laying me back on the pillow.
“Te quiero, te quiero,” I mumble between kisses.
His hand cradles my right cheek, deepening the kiss. He covers my body with his arms as he purrs through his bated breath, saying, “Not more than me.”
We move in sync, touching and caressing each other. Although I’m still healing, he is mindful of my wounds.
His hand slides up my sides, stopping at my hips. Then, I remember what I’m wearing: a flimsy, uncomfortable hospital gown. I tug it down as it starts to ride up my legs, suddenly feeling self-conscious in front of Brandon.
A weird feeling settles on my stomach, making me uncomfortable, and my skin itch. It feels like something’s crawling over me. What is this?
The sound of our lips disconnecting echoes in this empty, white-walled, bleach-smelling room.
“Maybe it’s better if we don’t do this here. Nurses or doctors could walk in at any given moment.” I bite my lip while looking down.
“Is something wrong?” He lowers his head, trying to catch my eyes. “You can talk to me, Ollie, whatever it is.” He holds my cheek again, stroking it with his thumb.
“I don’t know.” My voice falters. “I can’t remember anything about that night, and it’s scaring me to the point that I can’t sleep. I close my eyes, and these images run through my mind, but I can’t distinguish anything, like it’s not even happening to me. But I can feel everything as if I’m reliving it.”
“Ollie.” He hugs me tight in his arms.
“Why can’t I remember anything? Why can’t I figure out what happened that night?” I cry out, not able to hold in the sobs and tears any longer.
He shushes me and hugs me tighter. “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay. You don’t have to remember anything right now; it’s not your fault.”
I nod against his chest, breathing in and out to calm myself down. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Hey.” He lifts my face, staring straight into my eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for. You went through something very traumatic. Time to heal is the only thing you need right now, and I’m not leaving.”
“You promise?” I say in a low voice and with shaky breath.
He smiles in a gentle, comforting way. “I promise.” He places a tender kiss on my head, cuddling me into his side.
“Can you sing for me?” I ask, looking up at him.
He nods, holding the back of my head and bringing me to his chest, over his heart. Its beating calms me down, reminding me of how I used to fall asleep on my dad’s chest as a kid.
He starts singing, his sweet but raspy voice lulling me to sleep. I recognize the song, “Elixir,” from the festival. It reminds me of how it all started, how we stole glances at each other and blushed when we noticed. How my heart would beat so fast every time we bumped in the kitchen. And look at us now.
He sings in my ear as I drift into a peaceful sleep. Safe to say, this is the first time in days that I’ve slept, cuddled in the arms of the man I’m falling for as he whispers sweet nothings.
∞
OCEAN CITY
“Here.” He places his hand on top of mine as I struggle to enter the key and open the door to my apartment. “Why don’t you let me do it?”
I breathe out and nod, giving up after only a few tries.
So weak…
I stumble back and blink as an unrecognizable voice whispers in a low tone. I look around but find no one else, only Brandon and me. It sounds familiar. I should know who that voice belongs to.
“Hey, are you feeling alright? You’re looking a little pale.” Brandon’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
He comes closer, placing a hand on my forehead. “Should I take you back?”
“I’m fine,” I grab his hand, taking it off my face. “Just tripped on my own feet; it’s nothing.”
He stares deeply into my eyes, like he’s trying to figure out if I’m telling the truth. Finally, he brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it.
“Come on, people are dying to see you.” He nods toward my apartment.
“Brandon...” I trail off. “What did you do?”
He shrugs, and a mischievous smile appears on his face. “Go in, and you’ll see...”
I walk inside, leaving him behind to handle the bags. What I see when walking in is far better than I could have imagined.
The living room and kitchen have beautiful decorations. My eyes well up as I look at everyone that’s here, standing under a handwritten sign.
“Welcome home, Ollie! Te extrañamos (we’ve missed you),” Maia cries with open arms, inviting me into them. I don’t waste a single second before running to her.
She cuddles me tightly into her, both of us forgetting my body’s still a little sore. I let out a sob as everyone joins in on the hug and traps us in their embrace. Ella squeezes in, pulling me to her chest as we all cry it out. The boys even sniffle.
“Oh, sweetie, I’m so glad you’re finally home! Leaving you in New York felt like torture.” Layla wipes her tears away as we part from the hug. “Have they found the bastard who did it?”
I hang my head as I sigh. “Not yet, no. I can’t seem to remember anything, and I’m their only lead.”
“It’s all going to be okay. I promise.” Brandon throws an arm around my shoulder. “Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You’ll remember once you’re ready, and whenever that happens, we’ll be here to support you.”
I feel more than safe as he hugs me closer and places a kiss on my head, his way of assuring me of his promise.
“Alright.” Drew claps and startles me with how close he is. “How about we end this pity party and start properly celebrating? Let’s get some drinks!”
A round of yes, let’s do it, and some hollers echo in the room as the group disperses.
“I’m not drinking; I don’t think it’s safe for my healing.” I relax in Brandon’s embrace. “But I’ll take a Coke, please.” I give him my best, innocent, convincing smile.
“Coming right up, milady.” Drew bows his head.
As everyone starts doing their own thing, I take my time to look around my apartment. Flower petals decorate the tables, shelves, and kitchen counter. The coffee table has an assortment of sweet and salty snacks, from chips to mini cheesecakes, fruits, and crackers with cheese.
I can also see from here that the balcony has fairy lights hanging from the sliding door like a curtain. Plush bean bags and blankets replace the usual wooden chairs and table set.
“You guys did all this”—I turn to the group, my eyes glistening—“for me?”
“Of course we did.”
“Why wouldn’t we?”
“You deserve nothing less.”
“You’re my sister,” Ella and Maia answer in unison.
People might not believe it, but Maia is more than my best friend. She’s like a sister to us, our third musketeer since we can remember. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
“Oh, but you didn’t have to.” My voice comes out in a tender tone.
“You’d kill us if we didn’t. Don’t deny it.” Maia gives me a fake accusatory look.
I take my time, pretending to think about my answer. “Fine, you’re right, I would’ve.” I let out a laugh. “But I am thankful; this is beautiful.”
They bow down as if they were at the end of a show, continuing the playful mood.
“Hey, Ollie?” Sam whispers as he walks up to my side. “Can you come with me outside for a talk?”
I look at Brandon, who’s still hugging me, letting him know he has to release me so I can move. He lets me go, and I turn to Sam.
Let’s go; I nod to the balcony. The lock clicks as we close the sliding door behind us, and we sit on the bean bags, letting them swallow us.
“So.”
“So.” He avoids my eyes, staring at his hands.
“Sam.” I place mine on top of his. “Everything okay?”
He breathes out. “The night Brandon found you was my life’s scariest night. The thought of losing you overcame every sense in my body. I didn’t think; I just reacted. Nothing else mattered but getting you to safety when I got his call.”
He’s the one who arranged the limo rides? My breathing becomes frantic as I listen to him. Finding out they put aside their responsibilities for me, for my safety, is a lot after being in the hospital.
“I even forgot Ella and Maia and everyone else. Brandon left your purse.” He lets out a nervous, dry laugh.
“But none of that was important to us because you were safe. You were away from—” He stops himself from what I assume is profanity.
