Love furever, p.14
Love Furever, page 14
He tilted his head. “What are you thinking?”
“That you’re stunning.”
“Uh…” He swallowed. “You don’t have to say that. I know…” He pressed his hands to his stomach.
After quickly, but gently, moving Widget to the bed, I rose. A little unsteadily, and I feared he’d bolt, but he remained standing there. When I stood before him, I held out my hand.
He nodded. When I gestured, he ducked his head a little so I didn’t have to strain.
I ran my hands through his short hair. The close-cropped fuzz was softer than I expected. A bit of damp still clung to it. I trailed my fingers down his cheek, scratching his beard with my fingernails.
He swallowed again. Convulsively. And his pupils dilated.
Following the line of his jaw, I dragged my index finger along his throat to his pulse point.
It hammered. His shallow breaths mesmerized me.
I continued my journey, down his collarbone to his sternum. Slowly, I placed my palm to his chest. Human Resources had brought in a stress expert who’d told us all the places our bodies could hold tension. She said the chest was the main one. So I pressed, holding James’s gaze.
Slowly, millimeter by millimeter, he relaxed into the touch.
Then I resumed my exploration, moving my hand to his nipple.
It pebbled under my ministrations.
I trailed my fingers across to the other one and squeezed experimentally.
His hips jerked.
Okay, good to know.
After a moment, my fingers slipped lower still. When they grazed his belly, he sucked it in.
I arched an eyebrow.
He relaxed.
I placed both my hands on his hips. Then I grazed the pads of my fingers along his hipbone and to his abdomen. I splayed my palms along the baby-soft skin. “God, you turn me on. Do you want to see how much?”
Patience might be a virtue, but I thought I was going to explode by the time he finally nodded.
Releasing him, I gently yanked my pajama bottoms down. I hadn’t thought another erection would be possible, but my body had other thoughts.
His gaze fixated on my bobbing cock.
I wanted him so much that my balls ached, but we couldn’t do anything much.
Fucking hell.
Still, not worth even the smallest risk that could harm James.
Instead, I moved my hands back to his soft belly, asking permission when I tilted my head.
He nodded.
My fingers dexterously undid the knot of his towel. I let it drop to the ground.
His erection stood proud.
I grasped it.
“I don’t think…”
I cocked my head.
He grinned wryly. “I just got clean.”
“Okay, fair.” I released him. “I’ll just—”
He snagged my hand and brought it back to his cock. “Finish what you started.”
“With pleasure.” I set to work on bringing him the most pleasure I could. Stroking, tugging, running my finger along his slit—every little trick I’d learned over the years. Putting it all into action and eliciting the most delicious responses from him.
When he grasped my shoulders for support, I knew he was close.
My saliva glands were working overdrive as his scent enveloped me. I’d never risk it, but I so badly wanted to drop to my knees. More than I’d ever wanted it before. To show this gentle giant that I didn’t care if he didn’t have washboard abs. To demonstrate with my body just how much he turned me on. To leave him in no doubt of my intense feelings for him.
Even as he pulsed and then erupted in my hand, I pushed aside the notion that this might just be gratitude.
No, this was way, way, way more.
And that scared the shit out of me.
CHAPTER 17
JAMES
After coming apart in Colin’s embrace, I cleaned myself up again while he took a shower, promising he’d jerk off to the memory of how I looked when I climaxed.
And, God, wasn’t that a hot image. Nearly enough to make me hard again, imagining him in the shower—all pale skin and coppery hair. Because, yeah, his erect cock had sat nestled in a thatch of red curls just a shade darker than his flaming hair.
His viral status had never strayed far from my mind as we’d touched. I’d done my research and understood the risks. Part of me mourned we had things we couldn’t do—the rest of me rejoiced that once we got the green light, I planned to move full steam ahead.
If he’s strong enough.
Well, there was that. I wasn’t a doctor. I didn’t know the difference between side effects of the powerful treatment or what was from his liver shutting down. I’d searched both on the internet and found plenty of helpful articles from reputable sources—but no clear answers. Promising myself to just take things one day at a time was good enough.
We’d deal. We had each other. That would be enough.
Even as I had the thought, though, my mind shifted to Mama. She’d adore Colin. Would want to fatten him up. Would want to care for him. Except she was in Huntington Beach while I was down here in Gaynor Beach. For the first time in a long time, I wished she was closer. But if I’d stayed in Huntington Beach, then I wouldn’t have met Colin. Or Widget.
Speaking of whom, those little whines made me rush to dress before my floor paid the price for my distraction.
Widget was happy to do her business and scoot back inside.
I’d take her for a longer walk later. Or maybe a shorter one with Colin, if he was up to it. I should’ve been worried about the hand jobs wearing him out, but I totally wasn’t. The look on his face when he’d climaxed? Yeah, worth a little fatigue.
You’re not the one paying for that moment though, are you?
Ah, damn. My inner voice made a good point. As I set about making pancakes and bacon, I planned time for Colin to rest today. I had a pile of work to get caught up on, and his dining room table chair wasn’t the most comfortable, but I’d make do. And I’d have Widget for company.
We’d had a discussion about this because Colin worried I spent so much time at his place. He’d contended he could take Widget out to pee most of the time if I concentrated on the longer walks and the poops.
I heard what he was saying. I also saw the look in his eyes when he talked about me spending less time there. I’d leave it up to him, but I was happy to spend so much time with them. Getting Widget acclimatized. Giving Colin as many breaks as possible. His energy wavered a lot. Sometimes he was almost okay, and other times everything was a struggle. I just wanted to be there so he was less alone.
I heard Colin enter the kitchen and was pleased when he wrapped his arms around me from behind and laid his head between my shoulder blades. A warmth seeped into me, and I grinned. “I like this side of you.”
He tensed.
Undaunted, I spun in his arms and pulled him in for a hug, tucking his head against my neck. “I miss my family.”
He laughed.
“Yeah, I said it. I miss my family. I miss how affectionate we all are with each other. I hadn’t realized how much I counted on that until I moved away. It’s only been a few weeks, but I’m already jonesing for a Mama embrace and a Martin bro-hug. Daddy has his own way of making me feel special, too. I used to think that was all stifling, but…”
Colin angled his head up to meet my gaze. “But you look at my lonely existence and you realized just how good you had it. Have it,” he corrected. “Because you can always go home. Huntington Beach’s just up the road, right?”
“An hour or so,” I confirmed. “We should go.”
He blinked. “That would…I’m not sure…”
I pressed a kiss to his forehead, then extricated myself because I was not going to burn the pancakes. “They’ll welcome you with open arms. You can tell them about your status—I promise they don’t care—or you can keep quiet. It’s your business. Although maybe you should just meet my parents at first. And Danny. He’s still living at home. Although too young for you.”
Colin burst out laughing. “You seriously think I’d make a move on your brother?”
Turning, I waved the spatula at him. “You say that, but wait until you meet him. I can be objective—that young man is stunningly beautiful. Gracie keeps trying to drag him to LA to become a model, but he’s studying pre-med. Wants to be a doctor. He’ll be a good one.” I spun back. “And he’s pan, so he’d notice you. He’s interested in every friendly person between eighteen and thirty-eight. Worries Mama to no end.”
“I assume he’s being careful.” Colin’s voice wavered just a bit.
“Oh yeah.” I flipped the pancakes. “He…well, I shouldn’t say this, but I will. He says he’s waiting for the right someone. That he’s not in a hurry. I’m so goddamn proud of him.”
“You didn’t wait?”
I chuckled. “Oh, I was experimenting by the time I was sixteen. I didn’t have my first steady boyfriend until I was twenty. Kind of challenging to date while under Mama’s roof. I always worried whomever I brought home wouldn’t meet her standards.” I grinned, even though he couldn’t see. “But the few special guys I did bring home were treated with respect. And grilled—usually by Leticia. Damn woman thinks she rules the world.”
“In some ways, I think the world would be better off if it was run by women.”
“Ah, so you’re lamenting we haven’t yet had a woman president.”
Another chuckle. “Yes, for sure.”
“The mayor of Gaynor Beach is a woman. Leigh Jacks. Makes no secret that she’s been happily married for twelve years to the lovely Megan Jacks. Even took her wife’s last name. Her family’s been here for generations. Another thing I like about this town—the sense of continuity. Sure, they attract guys like you and me. But they also have families here who date back to the creation of the town.”
“Tell me about it?”
I plated the pancakes and bacon, then turned to hand them to him. “Have a seat, and I’ll share what I know from my reading.” I’d read a history book about the town after I met Arthur. When I’d first contemplated moving here.
We sat at the table. Colin immediately dumped a pile of syrup on his pancakes while I added some butter to mine first. He was already half done with his first one before I’d taken a bite, which really surprised me. The nausea and weight loss dogged him a lot of the time.
“Oh, sorry.”
“No worries. I’m glad to see you worked up an appetite.” His appetite came and went, but apparently this morning, had returned with a vengeance.
“Has Widget eaten?” He glanced over at her.
I’d moved her bed into the living room and, after she’d eaten, she’d hunkered down for a nap with her favorite stuffie between her paws. “Yeah, she’s eaten. Okay, Gaynor Beach. Founded in 1832, Gaynor Beach was originally called Willis City after the founding father and first mayor, Gregory Willis. However, the name was later changed to Gaynor Beach after the tragic death of Willis's wife Gaynor. She was killed in a sailing accident when the boat she was on hit the rocks at Willis Point, and sadly, she drowned, leaving Gregory widowed with a young son and daughter to raise.
“The lighthouse was erected after the incident to make sure it happened to no one else. Kids still like to tell ghost stories about the lighthouse, the rocks, and the woman they say walks them on stormy nights, not to mention the boat that can be seen when it's foggy.”
When I finished my recitation, I was thrilled to see he’d eaten every morsel off his plate—a real treat.
He eyed me. “You memorized that.”
I grinned unrepentantly. “I might have.” Then I glanced at my own plate. “I’m going to heat this up. Can I make you more? There’s some extra bacon…”
“Oh, I’ll never turn down extra bacon.”
But he had the other day when I’d made waffles. Which he’d barely touched. Hell, if a good orgasm—or two, I hadn’t asked if he’d jerked off in the shower—gave him this much of an appetite, we’d just have to repeat this.
I rose and went to the kitchen.
He followed, eating the last slice of cold bacon right off the paper towels I’d used to remove some of the fat. He grinned unrepentantly. “Did you want some?”
“Uh, no.” Which was a good thing because he’d eaten the last piece.
“I’ll clean up while you eat.” His face fell. “I forgot to ask if you can take Widget today. If you’re too busy, I’m sure she’ll be okay—”
“Of course I can take Widget.” Panic seized me. Was this an act? Was he really exhausted and just didn’t want to show it?”
“Great.” He started to fold the greasy paper towel and headed to the cupboard under the sink. He’d guessed right, of course. That was where I kept my garbage.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I pulled my warmed pancakes out of the microwave, grabbed cutlery, and dug in.
“You should be sitting at the table.”
“Whatever.” I might’ve said that with my mouth full. I didn’t want to give him a chance to duck whatever this was.
“I have to go to LA today. To the hospital to see the doctor. I’d totally forgotten. So I have to leave Widget with you and go alone.” He drained the fat into my trash and put the pan into the sink. He added the grease-fighting liquid soap, ran the water to fill it, then started putting the dishes in the dishwasher.
“Colin.” I might’ve used my Mama’s sharp tone. I’d heard his voice tremble on alone.
He snapped his gaze to mine. “Well, I can’t take her to LA.”
“Of course you can.” I yanked my phone out of my back pocket and started typing furiously.
“What are you…?”
Within twenty seconds of my sending the message, a response arrived. With an exclamation point and a flurry of emojis. I gazed up to find Colin frowning. “Gracie. She doesn’t work until tonight and doesn’t have any auditions today. She’d be thrilled to watch Widget while we go to your appointment.”
“We?” He looked a little stunned.
“It’s a two-hour drive to LA. Unless you were planning to take the bus, which would be way longer.”
“I was planning to drive. I did it last time.”
“It’ll tire you out, and you won’t be able to focus on the doctor. Plus, you should always have someone with you when you see the doctor about something so important. Daddy goes to all Mama’s cardiologist appointments.”
“We’re not married.”
“Duh. A second pair of ears is what counts, not a wedding ring.” God, sometimes he could be so dense. “We can run by your place and pick up everything you need.”
“I suppose that would work. I can’t deny I missed some details the last appointment.” Colin rubbed at his face like he was already overwhelmed. He might’ve slept okay here with me, but the bags under his eyes were still dark.
“I think you should stay here tonight again. Because you’ll be tired after the trip. Or I could stay at your place. You have a spare bedroom, right?”
“I wouldn’t…” He cleared his throat. “Okay, this is moving way too fast.”
“Not for me. I’m a forward-momentum guy.” I was kind of lying—because it did feel like I was getting over my head at light speed—but kind of not. The thought of him doing it all by himself made me a bit crazy.
He tried to suppress a smile, but he couldn’t. “If you stay at my place, you’re not staying in the spare bed. It’s, uh, not very comfortable.”
Calling bull crap would’ve been impolite. He happened to have mentioned all his furniture was new and that he’d chosen special mattresses designed for maximum comfort that had cost him a pretty penny, and he hadn’t cared. At the time, I’d wondered about his definition of a pretty penny, but hadn’t asked. “Okay, what time’s your appointment?”
“Two. I was planning to be there just after eleven to make sure I’m there on time. A little paranoid, I know. Then I planned to grab lunch and—”
I glanced at my phone. “We need to get going if we’re going to drop Widget off at Gracie’s.” I eyed him in his sweatpants and shirt. “And I bet you need to change.”
“Yeah.”
“Great. You know what? You head home. Widget and I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”
He eyed me.
“Well, I need to get the laundry started and, you know, get organized.” And put on a suit. I’d been dressing down with him because clearly he’d been uncomfortable with my suits. But no way was I walking into a doctor’s office without being dressed up. “Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.” He blinked. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
Despite time being tight, I yanked him into my arms. “Just get better, okay?”
“I can’t—” He drew in a sharp breath. “I can’t promise—”
I hugged him tighter. “Well, you can promise to do your best. I’m holding you to that. Widget needs her daddy to be strong and healthy.” I need you too. But I’m not going to say that. He had enough pressure on him. If he didn’t know how I felt after last night and this morning, then he was even denser than I thought.
After a long moment, he nuzzled my neck. “Yeah, okay. I’ll do my best.”
“That’s all I can ask for.” I squeezed him tighter. “Okay, you go. We’ll be right behind.” I gazed down to find Widget rubbing up against me. I released Colin, reluctantly, and pulled her into my arms. “Hello, darling.”
She licked my cheek.
“You’re going to see Gracie today and, oh honey, you’re going to be in doggie heaven.” My sister didn’t have her own dog—too many unpredictable hours—but she was doggie aunt to two mastiffs down the hall from her condo. She dog sat whenever she could, even though the two teddy bears rarely needed watching. Her love of animals knew no bounds, and her excitement at the prospect of babysitting Widget couldn’t be overstated.
I slapped Colin on the ass while balancing Widget. “Get going. We’ll be there shortly.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Instead of taking your fancy car, we can take my hybrid SUV. If you trust me to drive you.”
