The ardly effect, p.11
The Ardly Effect, page 11
Its central position deep among the civilised star systems was a third reason for its popularity with fortune seekers, tyrants, and criminals of all kinds.
There had inevitably been many disputes over the millennia with warring factions doing battle over fertile areas or areas rich in minerals. The planet had settled into an uneasy stability with the surface being hardly inhabited at all.
Surface dwellers fell into two categories: machinery maintenance engineers or militia. The machinery was used for mining or harvesting the Medusa Tree and the militia were there to defend the areas owned by the various factions.
By far the majority of the population lived in orbiting space stations of which there were thousands.A strange environment indeed for mankind to set up shop. But people through the ages had been forced to do any number of unpleasant things in the cause of survival.
The colony specialising in freight lived in one such station.
The freight business was obviously very important for drug dealers and mineral traders, to be sure. But Bev was not there to pass judgement. No one had a right to condemn people for a lifestyle they probably had no choice but to accept. The important thing was the location and apprehension of Django Twip. He had to be brought to justice for his crimes against Earth. These people could be descendants of Django Twip’s entourage. Contact had to be handled very carefully.
Bev knew that Marshia’s arrival would raise a few eyebrows. The changes Streemly and Vick had made to date put Marshia into a class of battle cruiser that Bev and all of his information MAIDs had never seen or heard of before. She could easily wipe out multiple star systems in a matter of seconds. She could also burn a hole in the hat of a chicken farmer on a planet ten million miles away before he had time to say “Pluck!”.
Bev knew it was impossible for Marshia to fall into the wrong hands but the guys out there lusting after her would not know that. Not until it was too late. The last thing Bev wanted was bloodshed. Bev had done his duty. He had shared his concerns with everyone. He could do no more. But he was worried. The creatures they could come into contact with were some of the vilest droppings of some of the vilest organisms the universe had ever had the insensitivity to vomit into existence. Not nice people at all.
*
Heeding Bev’s advice for caution, Marshia stayed well away from Spwat III to begin with. All transmissions between the space stations and the planet’s surface were monitored and analysed. A fascinating picture began to emerge. The orbiting stations were identified as casinos, shopping malls, repair centres, freight handling, residential, brothels, in fact all one would expect in a large city. The occupants of one station were dedicated to keeping the peace and resolving minor disputes. They policed the other stations and represented the law, such as it was. A significat difference between the orbiting society and a surface based one was the sheer size of it. Plus the very definite boundaries of vacuum that separated each station. The orbits varied enormously so some stations moved through and around other groups of relatively stationary satellites. Things seemed to pan out though. Kwait watched one residential block for some time. The occupants travelled in communal shuttles to and from nearby stations to do a “day’s” work. Every day a different shopping mall passed by. Seven orbiting malls shared similar orbits, strung out around the planet with an orbital period of one day. Some of the utility stations followed suit but the majority stayed in clumps. Each clump representing the interests of a particular faction.
By analysing some of the encoded messages Marshia was able to determine that, even though the occupants of several factions thought they were separate from, and competing with, all the other factions, a lot of them were actually reporting back to the same source. An interesting state of affairs maintained deliberately for reasons that could only be guessed at.
Of immediate interest, and possibly a source of the most help, was the police station in polar orbit. It was decided that Bev and Kwait would approach the police commander to find out if he could be of any assistance.
Marshia hopped to within one hundred yards of the spinning doughnut-shaped station matching orbits perfectly. Bev and Kwait monitored the transmissions as they came out of the jump. The massive Marshia, appearing instantly with no warning at all from any of the scanners, caused quite a stir. Questions were whizzing backward and forward trying to find out who this powerful newcomer was. Interestingly, only one transmission was directed at the orbiting police station and that came from a patrolling police scout ship.
It appeared that the police were very much out on their own with no one to talk to. The scale of the interest and the fact that they had remained undetected until they actually appeared gave Bev some confidence that they were dealing with a technology that was not as advanced as their own. Marshia made contact with the station and arranged for Bev and Kwait to meet with the commander, Dan Bwagon , within the hour.
West was quite miffed that he had not been included but quickly conceded in a gentlemanly manner when it was pointed out that the situation could be dangerous.
“Besides,” said Bev, “we don’t want to unnerve these people by introducing someone as high powered as your good self at this early stage.”
West had no trouble relating to that either.
As the appointed time approached, Marshia was repeatedly probed unsuccessfully by scanners from many of the space stations. Bev and Kwait thought a little muscle flexing would not go amiss, so demonstrated their flawless transporter technology by porting straight into the commander’s office. As the rather dull brown office materialised around him, Kwait wondered briefly if the police commander was alone and if so what he was doing. What, wondered Kwait, are the three most popular past times enjoyed by people who think they are alone?Nose picking?Armpit sniffing? Having a good scratch in one of those private little places? That was assuming, thoughtKwait, that the police commander had a nose, armpits or private little places. He did, as it turned out. The station commander was a Pebbling. And this Pebbling was exploring his ear with his trunk when the two visitors materialised.
“Hell’s bells!” said the startled commander. “I’ve heard this transportation thing had been sussed by someone but I had no idea it was you lot.”
“Us lot?” enquired Bev.
“You ... people ... humans,” said Commander Bwagon .
“Yes,” said Bev, “‘us lot’ have had it sussed for some thousand years now.”
“And you are?” asked Bwagon regaining some composure.
“This is Doctor Naize,” said Bev, “and I am simply Bev.”
“Ah, yes.” Bwagon looked at his watch. “Bang on time. I had assumed you would be coming via more conventional means. Please, sit down.” Bwagon indicated two chairs in front of his desk. “Now, how can I help you?”
“Quite simply,” said Bev, “we are in the throes of pursuing a person, human like ourselves, who has, albeit in the distant past, in a most heinous and contemptible manner, violated every imaginable ethical and moral code in committing a transgression of such hideously vile and disgusting evil against humankind and its planet of origin that we have been compelled to give chase and apprehend the perpetrator in as expeditious and non-intrusive a manner as is, err ... humanly possible.”
Total incomprehension clung to Bwagon’s face like an old balaclava. “Pardon?” he said.
“We’re after a guy called Django Twip,” said Kwait. “Heard of him?”
“Django Twip and the planet Frimp are legendary in these parts,” said Bwagon .
“In what way?” askedBev.
“Just a moment, please,” said Bwagon , leaning towards his intercom. “Locate Captain Rex and have her sent in, would you please Sonia.”
A thin crackly female voice came back over the intercom, “Anything for you, my liddle honey bunny ...”
“ And, ” said Bwagon stabbing the intercom button, “send in two teas for my guests , please.”
A short embarrassed silence was followed by a staccato, “Right away, sir.”
Dan Bwagon cleared his throat. “Rex will be able to help with some of the details. She was in charge of the case.” Bwagon tried to retrieve some kind of credibility. “So what is your connection with Django Twip?” He directed the question at Kwait, not wanting the short, bearded guy to start rambling again.
“Django Twip,” said Bev, ignoring the slight, “virtually destroyed our home planet wiping out the vast majority of the population in the process.”
“Some of us were just left to survive as best we could in outposts on other planets,” said Kwait.
“When did this happen?” asked Bwagon .
“Three thousand years ago,” said Bev.
“Are you pulling my trunk?” said Bwagon , doubt creasing his brow.
“Due to certain ... refinements, there is no theoretical limit to our life span,” said Bev. Bwagonrearranged his features to that of one who is suitably impressed and said, “From what I remember, this Django Twip character was convicted of trying to poison this entire star system. He was run to ground on Frimp but he put up some kind of planet wide force field that we couldn’t get through. The field’s still there as far as I know. And so is Twip.”
“That’s interesting,” said Bev. “But what do you mean by ‘poison this entire star system’?”
“Well ...” began Bwagon , but he was interrupted by a knock at his door. “Come!” he said. A tall, slim human female entered. Not a classic beauty but a beauty borne of self-confidence and inner calm. The way she moved had Kwait’s information MAIDs presenting him with images of a long extinct species of gazelle from Earth.
“Ah, Rex,” said Bwagon . “This is Captain Rex,” he said to Bev and Kwait. The humans nodded to each other. “These gentlemen are interested in finding out more about Django Twip.”
“Is that ship yours?” asked Rex. Kwait noticed her eyes were so dark as to appear allpupil .
“It is indeed,” said Bev. “And may I extend to you the enthusiastic hand of camaraderie and fraternity and welcome you back, one of our long displaced comrades, to the bosom and brotherhood of humanity from which you were, so long ago, unceremoniously torn to be cast upon the uncertain sea of fate and the vagaries of the far flung reaches of space.”
“Pardon?” said Rex, raising a quizzical eyebrow.
“Hi,” said Kwait, “and yes, that’s ours.”
“Neat trick,” said Rex. “Where are you guys from?”
“Earth,” said Kwait.
“Get away,” said Rex in amazement.“Earth? I thought that was just an old fairy tale.”
“We are no fairy tale as you can see,” said Bev. “We are from the cradle of humanity.A cradle which Django Twip tried to destroy. A cradle which is being rebuilt and starting to rock again as we speak.”
“Far out,” said Rex.
“About seven hops,” said Bev.
Kwa##itintervened. “About Django Twip; I believe you have some information about him.”
“Yes,” said Rex. “I suppose I’d better give you the full story as far as I know it.”
“Good idea,” said Kwait.
“Twip’s been around these parts for as long as anyone can remember. There are some old freighter legends that say he’s the father of all humanity in these parts. Anyway, he started Twip’s Fish and Chip Emporium. He opened more and more outlets and eventually there was at least one, and in some cases hundreds, of Twip’s Fish and Chip Emporiums on every inhabited planet in all the Armpit Nebula’s star systems.”
“That represents one hell of a lot of fish and chips,” said Kwait.
“Tell me about it,” said Rex. “Anyway, the standards commission got a bit concerned when muggings of people carrying bags of Twip’s fish and chips started. People were getting killed over a lightly battered cod, or cod-a-like, and a bag of chips.
“They analysed some of the chips and found minute traces of Medusa. Not enough for the full-blown trip but enough to make people euphoric and want for more.
“A joint Nebula operation closed down every shop simultaneously. Twip went to ground on Frimp . That was his home base anyway. He put up some kind of impenetrable force field. They tried everything to get through it but, nothing doing. It wouldn’t budge. After a few years they figured he was a prisoner there anyway. We’ve had a monitor on the field but I reckon he’s probably dead by now. Whatever, he isn’t going anywhere without our knowing about it.”
Kwait told Rex and Bwagon the story of Django Twip, the two moons and the force field around Earth.
“So you got through the field?” Rex asked Bev.
“Well, my brother did, certainly,” said Bev. “And I do believe the transporter technology has improved beyond recognition even since then.Thanks to the efforts of Kwait’s daughter and my brother.”
Kwait looked puzzled. “But, given what the field did to life on Earth, it’s questionable as to whether Twip could survive on the surface of Frimp , surely.”
“The survival of my brother and me is directly attributable to the MAIDs ,” said Bev. “Without them we would have had no chance at all. Actually that’s not strictly true. If not for my brother’s modifications and refinements of certain MAIDs we would have perished hundreds of years ago. Unfortunately the modifications came too late for our friends.” Bev’s eyes were moist. “The final experiments we did on ourselves had only a fifty-fifty chance of success. My presence here is entirely due to my brother’s brilliance.” Bev produced a handkerchief from his sleeve and blew his nose loudly.
“Maids?” asked Rex.
“Miniature Artificial Intelligence Devices,” said Bev.“Microscopic devices which, jointly, have a limited intelligence capability.”
“Oh,” said Rex, not really understanding.
“They sort of keep us healthy and enhance our normal body functions,” explained Kwait. Rex nodded. Kwait continued, addressing Bwagon and Rex. “I’m curious about you people; this seems a very strange place for a police station. Who pays your wages?”
“The reason we’re here is to protect the interests of Pebbling, Gamma Froth and the human communities,” said Bwagon . “Pebbling and Gamma Froth have a considerable amount invested in the mining operations on the surface. The human community provide an invaluable service with the freight services. Our paymasters are a committee of representatives from all three nations plus a small sum donated as taxes by the druggers . It’s been recognised that trying to put an end to Medusa production would result in an all out war. There’s just too much hard cash at stake. So we’re here to keep the peace as best we can. Keep everything civilised and running smoothly.”
“It must be very difficult to turn a blind eye to drug running,” said Kwait.
“It’s simply a numbers game,” said Bwagon . “Keeping the mining operations open benefits tens of thousands of billions of individuals.Whereas Medusa is a problem for just a few hundred millions. So you have to keep things in perspective.”
“It’s outrageous!” said Kwait indignantly. “I’ve never heard anything like it.”
Rex intervened. “Believe me, I know it’s hard to swallow but these druggers are very powerful. War would cost millions of lives and Medusa would not go away. Someone would figure out a way to grow it somewhere else. Here, at least we have some control over its distribution.Negotiated capping, and all.”
Bev stepped in to change the subject. “I would be very interested to meet some human settlers here. See what sort of life they have set up for themselves. Would that be possible?”
Rex’slook said no problem but she turned to Bwagon for confirmation.
“I ...” - Bwagon was still bristling - “... see no reason why not. Why don’t you show them round, Rex. Introduce them to the freighters. When you’re through I would appreciate a little chat about how you intend toproceed vis-à-vis the Django Twip case.”
“Will do,” said Kwait.
“Thank you for your time,” said Bev. “It’s been much appreciated.”
“My shuttle or yours?” said Rex.
“We did not bring ours with us,” said Bev.
“Fine,” said Rex.“This way then.”
*
“ It’s amazing what people can get used to, ” thought Kwait. Rex looked relaxed and cheerful as she piloted the shuttle at speed through the access tunnels. Kwait noted with some satisfaction that Bev’s knuckles were just as white as his own as they threatened to crush the arm of the seat he was strapped into.
The shock of sudden zero gravity was compensated for by the sight that greeted them as they shot from the brightly lit tunnel to empty space. They were looking at one edge of the Armpit Nebula from the inside; a beautiful band of star dust shining white and blue to violet. Behind them the station receded. Momentum-induced gravity grabbed at their stomachs as Rex pulled back on the joystick bringing the great, bright, beige disk of Spwat III into view above them.
In fronttwinkled Spwat III’s irregular necklace of jewels that were the orbiting space stations. As they got closer they could see the staggering amount of activity as shuttles of all shapes and sizes zoomed nonchalantly in, around and between the stations.
“You know,” said Rex looking around her feet, “I’m sure I had a map in here somewhere.” She looked up just in time to avoid running into a larger shuttle running across their bows. The simultaneous release of breath from both Bev and Kwait caused Rex to say, “Sorry about that. I suppose these things take a bit of getting used to. Don’tworry, I’ve never hit anything yet. Well that’s not strictly true. There was that one time when I used to smoke. I dropped a ciggy in my lap. The next thing I knew I was face to face with a Froth who was glued to my front screen. He’d been out cleaning the station windows when I happened by just a little too close.” Rex laughed. “Talk about being pissed off. I thought the guy was going to climb out of his suit, through the screen and bop me one there and then.”
