“SPEAK UP!” shouted Julius. “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

  “I think he said something about looking elsewhere for the apple,” said Cornelius, straining to hear Heracles. “WHERE SHALL WE MEET YOU AGAIN?” he yelled. “SHALL WE WAIT FOR YOU IN CRETE?”

  Heracles gave a big thumbs up, then held up two fingers.

  “IN TWO DAYS?” cried Julius, trying to work out what the demi-god was saying.

  Heracles shook his head.

  “TWO WEEKS, THEN?” guessed Cornelius.

  Heracles held his thumb aloft again, then turned and carried on swimming until soon he was just a tiny dot.

  “Well, that’s not weird,” said Julius.

  “What have I been trying to tell you?” replied Cornelius.

  Julius glanced nervously at Cornelius, then, without any further comment, continued swimming towards the shore.

  CHAPTER SIX

  SPA-RRING PARTNER

  As Julius paddled to shore, he was amazed at how jolly and friendly the Cretan port seemed. Children splashed about in the water, while their parents relaxed in the hot sun. On the promenade, pretty tavernas and restaurants were dotted among the fishermen’s huts. Melodic sounds of stringed instruments intertwined with the smell of food wafting from open doors.

  “I could get used to this!” marvelled Julius.

  Lucia tugged at his arm. “Hey, Julius, check out these guys over here! What fun!”

  “Hold on a second!” exclaimed Julius. “Is that our old friend PLINY?!”

  The little mouse leading the aqua aerobics fell backwards into the water in shock. “DEBRA!!!” he screamed. “Who gave your ugly mug permission to be on this island?” He leapt out of the sea and gave Julius a big hug around the neck.

  “I thought you were heading back to Rome to try out your new fighting skills?” said Cornelius as he embraced his old friend.

  “That was the plan!” squealed Pliny, and he dropped into the surf and ran up to Felix who was scouring the beach for rocks.

  “Oh, hello, Pliny!” said Felix innocently.

  “Wotcha, bonehead!” said Pliny, jumping onto the unsuspecting antelope’s head, and grabbing his horns.

  Brushing the sand off his paws, Pliny sauntered back up the beach to a round of applause from his old friends. “I fell in love with Crete’s balmy climate and delicious grub, so I ended up staying here, learning a few more nifty moves while I was at it!” He cracked his tiny knuckles. “That’s what is known as a Cretan Curler!”

  Pliny pointed to a smart little building further along the beach. “And now I’ve even got my very own health spa for retired gladiators!”

  “YOUR OWN HEALTH SPA!” exclaimed Julius. “Amazing! What’s a health spa?”

  Pliny jumped back towards the old folk in the sea and started doing star jumps, which they duly copied. “It’s a place that helps ya keep fit and healthy in your old age! Hup, one! Hup, two!”

  Curiosity got the better of Cornelius. “But don’t you need money to open a new business?” he asked.

  “Ha ha ha!” laughed Pliny. “NOTHING gets past wise old Cornelius!”

  Pliny waved his arms. “After our shenanigans in Egypt, I still had a couple of them gold armbands. So, after a bit of moseying around the Med, I cashed them in, pitched up here and Bob’s yer uncle!”

  Pliny skipped about, full of excitement to be reunited with his old pals. “Who’d have guessed I’d be so happy to see your ugly mugs!”

  “So I take it old Emperor Hadrian has forgiven you, then?”

  “Forgiven me for what?” asked Julius, slightly confused.

  “For turning down his job offer. You proper upset him back in Egypt.”

  “They ARE?!” yelped Julius, quickly ducking under the water. After a couple of seconds, he came up for air. “I can’t stay under there all day!” he spluttered. “YOU HAVE TO HIDE US, PLINY!!”

  Pliny gave a big tut. “You GUYS!” he squeaked, scanning the beach for Romans. “What are you EVEN doing here in the FIRST place?”

  “We’re on a SECRET MISSION!” declared Lucia. “And I think we’re going to need your help with disguises!” She rubbed her claws with glee at the prospect of exciting subterfuge.

  “Ooh!” cried Pliny, backflipping off Milus’s head into the soft sand. “A secret mission, you say!” He started darting about, karate-chopping the air, somersaulting backwards and kicking little rocks into the sea as if they were dangerous foes. “I could do with a bit of a break from all this relaxing. Where are you headed?”

  “The labyrinth!” announced Julius proudly.

  “We’re just going to pick up a golden apple!” laughed Brutus, flicking back his seaweed wig. “Easy-peasy!”

  “Golden apple?” exclaimed Pliny. “There’s no golden apple in the labyrinth, only a nasty Minotaur!”

  “Minotaur?” echoed Julius.

  “Yeah, Minotaur!” replied Pliny. “Half man, half bull. Proper big monster – you don’t stand a chance!”

  Pliny started back to his aerobic class, “So, you can count me out.”

  Julius ran after him. “But please, Pliny,” he pleaded. “If we don’t find this apple, we’re in BIG trouble. We need all the help we can get!”

  Pliny looked Julius straight in the eye. “No one in their right mind goes to that poo-hole. NO ONE!”

  “But, Julius has magic powers!” cried Lucia. “He stopped that big metal giant with a rain cloud only this morning!”

  Pliny burst out laughing. “Julius didn’t stop old Talos with his magic powers,” he scoffed. “Crete ALWAYS has sudden rain bursts!” He pointed to the giant silhouette in the distance. “That metal monster is FOREVER rusting up!”

  “Then help us!” implored Julius. “You must know this place so well.”

  Pliny paused for a moment to ponder what madness he would be letting himself in for. “Gah!” he cried. “OK, I’m in, but we HAVE to sort you out some disguises, or the Romans will get you before any monster can.”

  The little mouse dashed towards his spa.

  “This way!” he ordered, and held open a door.

  As they all rushed to follow him, Julius realized someone was missing. “Where’s Felix?” he asked.

  “Where do you think?” growled Milus as he went inside.

  Julius looked back to the beach to see the antelope hunched over, rifling through the pebbles and rocks.

  “HURRY, FELIX!” he shouted.

  “Just get inside!” barked Julius, before casting a final nervous glance around the beach to make sure no Roman soldiers were watching them.

  Inside, they found themselves in a hot and steamy corridor. The sound of swishing water and slapping, mixed with laughter and the odd grunt and groan, reverberated through the spa. An elderly gentleman wrapped in a wet towel squeezed past them and gave them all a polite nod.

  “This place is weird!” muttered Julius.

  Pliny ushered them into a small room.

  “Just wait in here,” he ordered, and dashed off down the corridor.

  “That is proper amazing!” gasped Brutus, peering through his seaweed locks. “What a strange and wondrous land Crete is!”

  “It’s a hermit crab,” said Cornelius with a deflated huff.

  “Ooh!” said Brutus, eyeing up the crab. “A helmet crab!”

  “So it’s not a rock with little legs, then?” sighed Felix, poking his new find.

  “No,” replied Cornelius, “it’s a little crab that lives in a shell.”

  Pliny re-entered the room carrying a tower of clothes and weapons.

  “We need to make tracks sharpish!” he gasped, dropping the bundle on the floor. “Your arrival has already caused a bit of a stir, so we’d better hoof it before the local legion gets wind!”

  “Where did you find this stuff?” asked Julius, admiring his long spear.

  “Let’s just say there’s a group in the steam bath who are going to be VERY upset when they go to get dressed in five minutes,” replied Pliny with a smirk.

  As they sneaked out of the side door and onto the main road, Pliny turned to Julius and handed him a strange object.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  AMAZEBALLS

  Julius hated exercise and, as he quickly discovered, he particularly hated trudging up steep hills made of dry crumbly gravel that gave way under his hooves. The garments he was wearing didn’t help either.

  “You won’t be moaning about wearing armour when you face that ’orrible Minotaur!” squeaked Pliny, who was skipping out ahead. “Come on, not far now! Just over this ridge!”

  “Some palace!” gasped Julius, leaning on his spear in exhaustion. “It’s in ruins!”

  “Yeah,” replied Pliny, skipping towards the rubble, “a big earthquake saw to that!”

  Straightening up, Julius tramped towards the remains of the palace, followed wearily by the others.

  “I can’t say I like the look of this place!” worried Cornelius, trying his best to keep up in his heavy, oversized armour.

  “Look,” reasoned Julius, “if this place is so old and decrepit, there’s no WAY there’s still a Minotaur down there!”

  “I hope you’re right,” sighed the little warthog gloomily.

  “Come on!” said Julius enthusiastically. “Let’s grab that golden apple, head back to one of those nice tavernas and have ourselves a little holibob while we wait for Heracles to come back.”

  “You’re forgetting the whole of the Roman army is looking for us,” huffed Cornelius. “Hanging out in tavernas isn’t exactly an option!”

  Everyone caught up with Pliny, who was standing impatiently at the foot of the palace ruins.

  The old granite door was slightly ajar so Julius tiptoed up to the crack to see if he could peer inside. He immediately recoiled, retching. “PEEYOOO!” he cried, desperately trying to catch his breath. “This place flippin’ STINKS!”

  Felix suddenly became really excited as he spotted a glinting object on the ground by the door.

  “Woohoo!” he exclaimed. “I bagsy the big sword!”

  But as he picked it up, everyone screamed and started running away.

  “SKELLYBOB!” yelled Julius, hiding behind a big boulder.

  Confused, Felix went to grab the handle of the sword, only to put his hoof on the bony remains.

  Screaming, Felix ran to the big boulder behind which everyone was now hiding. “Thanks for leaving me with the skellybob hand, ya rotters!” he huffed.

  With a growl, Milus stood up, pulled his helmet firmly down, raised his shield and marched towards the entrance. “This is ridiculous!” he muttered under his breath. He put his shoulder against the heavy granite door and pushed with all his might.

  Julius and the others joined Milus and they all heaved against the dusty slab. Slowly they gathered momentum until finally, after one big SHOVE, the giant door scraped inwards to reveal a long, gloomy, STINKY passageway.

  “That is ROTTEN!” said Rufus, holding his nose. “It makes your seaweed wig seem like a bunch of fragrant flowers, Brutus!”

  As the rest of them stumbled backwards to catch a breath of fresh air, Julius leant further in, squinting at the passageway floor. “Can anyone see a golden apple? Please tell me it’s right here by the door!”

  Everyone inched in gingerly, gazes scouring the floor.

  “It’s no good,” said Lucia after a moment. “I can’t see a thing!” She turned round. “We need your lamp, Felix!”

  But Felix was nowhere to be seen.

  “FELIX?!” called out Lucia. “Where ARE you?”

  A timid voice piped up from behind the big boulder. “I ain’t coming over there!”

  “Oh, come on!” shouted Julius. “Stop being a baby!”

  “I don’t go nowhere near SKELLYBOBS,” Felix rasped. “So I’ll see you when you get back!”

  Cornelius trotted back to the boulder. “You know, Felix, old bones are sometimes called fossils, and fossils are in fact ROCKS!”

  “Absolutely!” replied Cornelius. “Imagine how amazing your collection will look after this adventure. You’ll be the envy of ALL rock collectors!”

  There was a long pause, before a familiar pair of horns appeared from behind the boulder and Felix bounded over to the smelly doorway. “Well, why didn’t you SAY?” From his knapsack he pulled out his little oil lamp, metal striker and pocket flint. He struck the flint and with the spark lit the lamp’s wick.

  As they nervously ventured inside, Pliny suddenly stopped Julius. “WAIT!” he cried. “Don’t forget your string!”

  Julius pulled out the ball from his tunic.

  “Brilliant!” said Julius, holding the string firmly. “What do I do with it?”

  “Oh … er … I don’t know that bit,” spluttered Pliny. “Chuck it at the Minotaur, probably!”

  “Gotcha!” replied Julius confidently. “Then let’s go find us an apple. And no Minotaur had better get in our way!”

  But, just as they were about to head further inside, Cornelius held up his trotter to stop them. “Look!” he squealed and pointed at one of the skellybobs lining the corridor. “What’s that he’s holding in his hand?”

  Cornelius grabbed it excitedly and held it up to have a good look. “I think it’s a scroll!”

  “Does it tell us to go home?” asked a nervous Brutus. “Cause I’m thinking that’s a good idea.”

  Cornelius unrolled the old piece of parchment and his eyes lit up. “I can’t believe it!” he gasped. “What amazing luck!”

  Cornelius handed the map to Julius. “Here you go, Julius,” he said. “You wanted to go first, remember?”

  “I did?” gulped Julius.

  “Yes,” said Cornelius. “You promised you’d be the first to tackle any monsters we found.”

  Julius nervously took the map. “Oh yeah,” he stuttered, “so I did.” He looked at the map for a while, tapping his chin. “Right,” he said confidently, “we need to go through this door.”

  “We’ve DONE that, donkey!” growled Milus pointing at the map. “Just lead the way!”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  STRING THEORY

  “This is RIDICULOUS!” huffed Julius. “We’ve been walking for HOURS!”

  Cornelius examined a bundle of bones sat in the corner. “Yes, I’m sure we’ve passed here before…”

  Milus stormed up to Julius and snatched the map out of his hooves. “How is it we’re lost, when you have an actual MAP?”

  “Yeah, all right, grumpy guts!” Julius blustered. “Map-reading was never one of my strong points.”

  Milus glowered at the zebra. “Do you even HAVE a strong point?”

  Milus flapped the map out flat in front of his nose and examined it carefully, then looked at the walls and passageways around them.

  Julius prodded the map with his hoof. “I’ve been trying to get us to this bit at the bottom here with the strange writing and big arrow.”

  Milus looked closely at the writing.

  “I don’t know what the words mean,” continued Julius. “They’re probably in really old Greek, but I bet it says something really important, like ‘Here be treasure!’”

  Milus looked again closely at the writing and twisted the map around one hundred and eighty degrees. He then crushed the map in one paw and slapped his forehead with the other.

  “You’ve had the map upside down the whole time!” Milus raged.

  “How dare you! No I haven’t!” protested Julius indignantly, snatching the crumpled map back. Smoothing it out, he looked at it again and then at their surroundings. “Wait. How can you tell?”

  Milus stabbed the map with a claw. “Because these strange words you’ve been struggling with are in fact upside-down words. Those strange words do in fact say: ‘This way up’.”

  Snarling, Milus snatched back the map and stalked to the front alongside Felix. “Everybody follow me!”

  As they weaved their way through the wretched, vile-smelling passageways, Milus spotted a faint glow ahead. He held up his arm. “I think we’ve found him,” he growled.

  Julius shuffled his way to the front, holding out his ball of string. “Good work, Milus!” he declared. “I’ll take over from here!”

  “Careful, Debra!” whispered Pliny. “They reckon the Minotaur is a big, nasty brute.” The little mouse picked up a small rock and threw it at one of the skulls that littered the passageway. “If you’re going to take him out, make sure you bonk him RIGHT on the NOGGIN!”

  Julius puffed up his chest and pulled the meanest, toughest face he could manage. “Don’t you worry about ME!” he said confidently.

  And with that he tiptoed off into the gloom.

  “And those were his last words…” sighed Felix.

  Before anyone had a chance to reply, they heard a shuffling noise heading quickly back down the passage. Everyone hastily pulled down their helmets and readied their shields and spears.

  “It’s only me!” whispered Julius. “Put your pointy spears down!”

  “Did you see him?” asked Felix.

  “Yes,” replied Julius.

  “He’s at least ten times bigger than that hairy cow we fought in Britannia!” gasped Julius. “There’s NO WAY I’m taking him on!”

  “Then we should sneak into his lair and try and find the apple without waking him,” suggested Lucia.

  “Are you volunteering?” asked Milus.

  “Er … no …” she replied.

  “YOU should go, donkey,” growled Milus, pushing Julius forward.

  “Me?!” whimpered Julius. “Why me?”

 

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