Love hurts, p.6
Love Hurts, page 6
“Ummmm Mika. What scent is this?”
She took the candle from my hand and inhaled the heavy scent. I could tell from the satisfied look on her face that this fragrance was a favorite.
“This is my new apple and pear combo that isn’t for sale yet.”
“Why?” I whined with a playful pout. “I need this in my house like today.”
She put the candle back. “I’m sorry Lovie. You know how I am about selling a product I don’t feel is a hundred percent ready.”
I picked up another one of her candles and smelled it, “Then why are they on display?”
“Because…” She walked behind her cash register and took a sip from her water bottle, “although I love the way that it smells now, there’s still a hint of something missing. I wasn’t even going to put them out but then Jake kinda sorta talked me into-”
I cut her off, “Uhhhh, Jake? Whose Jake?”
The blush that covered her face told me that whoever this Jake dude was he had my girl smitten. I hadn’t seen Mika react to a man like this since the ass hole she was supposed to marry a few years back. If what he did to her would’ve happened to me I don’t think I ever could’ve come back from that. But Mika was strong and way more forgiving than I was so I guess that helped her in getting over it.
“Jake is a friend of mine.” She said while still blushing. “A special friend.”
“A special friend huh?” I questioned with one brow raised. “Will I be meeting this friend during my two day stay here in Brenton?”
Mika giggled and took another sip of her water. “Yes you will get to meet him. He’ll be at the grand opening tomorrow night.”
“He better be.” I joked as I picked up her Tender Kisses candle and sniffed it. “Oooh, put me down for a case of these,” I squinted my eyes and glanced around the shop, “And a case of the Sweet Love ones,” I pointed across the room, “and a case of the Butta Love too.”
Mikas eyes bucked wide as hell. “You and Kingston are really gonna buy three cases?”
“Kingston?” I reared my head back, “Those are the scents I want. I'm sure your cousin will order his own whenever he gets off of that call.”
I was trying not to show my annoyance that Kingston had been on the phone for the last thirty minutes. This was the new norm for us ever since he started taking his singing career more seriously. There was never any more time left for us. Yeah we were going through some things right now and we were far from being on the right path again but after what happened in the car ride over, I was hoping that we could use this mini vacation to try to reconnect emotionally and mentally on some level. But just like it’s been in the last twelve months Kingston's new career was taking top priority.
“Hey.” Mika softly called when she noticed the way my body and hands started to shake. I tried to stop the tears from falling down my face but I was tired of trying to hold them in. “Hey Lovie...what’s wrong? You were okay just a few minutes ago. It’s like as soon as I said Kingston’s name your whole attitude changed.”
“It’s...it’s nothing.” I lied, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. I slightly turned away from her to try and hide my face but Mika wasn’t having it. She grabbed my wrist and slowly turned me back around.
“Don’t do that Lovie. You were there for me when I needed you them years back, let me be here for you.” She paused for a second before asking, “Is it really that bad between you and my cousin? Because I thought you two were all good? Especially after the way he had you glowing before y'all got here.”
I rested my forehead on Mika’s shoulder. Tears still silently falling down my face.
“What happened in the car ride over here should’ve never happened. Especially not with our marriage still being in limbo. Sex only complicates things but I needed that release, hell, I think we both needed that release. It’s been almost six months since we were last intimate.”
Mika didn’t say anything for a second, I guess because she was trying to figure out what to ask next.
“I thought the couples therapy sessions were working?”
I snorted and rolled my eyes, “We haven’t had a couples session in over a month. Everytime we got in front of the therapist together we would argue so much that she suggested we start doing individual sessions instead.”
“Awww Lovie. I hate to hear that you and Kingston are even having problems. I mean, like I said earlier, you two are real life couple goals to me. The love you two have for one another isn’t just internal, it's external too. Everyone sees it when the two of you are around each other. Even with you guys being at odds right now so to say I can still see the love emanating off of both of you. Like I’ve always said...there is no Kingston without Lovie just like there is no Lovie without Kingston.”
I smiled at the cute little saying Mika would always tease us with when we were younger but my heart was still heavy with worry about what my life would possibly look like if Kingston and I couldn’t make it out of this hole.
“Alright man. I know, I know. I’m on it.” Kingston excitedly said into his phone as he finally made his way back into the showroom. “Nah, tell him I'm on my way right now. Give me four maybe five hours tops...Alright Simon....Thanks man and good looking.” Kingston released the call but never took his eyes off of the screen. His thumbs were moving a mile a minute as he sent out text after text. “Baby! Little cousin! You’ll never guess what just happened?” He exclaimed after sending out one last message. The biggest smile on his face. “Guess who I’m about to be in the studio with tonight? You’ll never guess.”
“Tonight?” Mika and I asked at the same time.
“What do you mean by tonight Kingston?” My voice dipped. Emotions still raw from the conversation Mika and I just had.
Kingston’s excitement died down a little. “Yeah, I just got off of the phone with Simon. Semaj Jones is in town and wants to do a few records with me.”
“Okay...and?” The tension in the shop was starting to get thick.
“And...he’s only going to be in town today and tomorrow before he goes overseas for a four month tour.”
“So what does that all mean?” I pressed. My anger starting to boil over.
He gave me a sorrowful look and then turned to Mika “It means that I’m more than likely going to miss your grand opening little cousin.”
As his words rang in my ears another piece of my heart was being torn apart. Here Kingston was again abandoning me and now Mika because of his career.
“Lovie.” Kingston called when he noticed the hurt expression on my face. “Baby-” He started to say but I cut him off.
“Just go Kingston. Just go.”
“But baby-”
I held my hand up, cutting him off again.
“It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity right? You don’t wanna mess that up.”
His eyes turned hard at the spiteful tone of my voice. “Lovie that’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair Kingston?”
He pointed at me. His finger waving up and down. “The way you’re acting right now. We just shared what I can only describe as one of the best moments we’ve had in the last six months on our way here. We connected baby. That connection we thought we lost is still there. We just gotta continue working towards it.”
“And how can we do that Kingston when you are hardly ever around huh? Those two and a half hours we just spent in the car is the longest we’ve been together without arguing in months. You think that a few minutes of fucking is going to put us back on the right track?”
“Fucking?” He asked. Disgust laced all in his tone. “Is that what you think I did to you Lovie? You think that I fucked you...I fucked my wife?”
“Guys.” Mika tried to interject. “Let’s just all take a breath right now. Things are getting a little to heated between you two, so I-”
“Nah, forget it Meek.” Kingston was talking to his cousin but his eyes were still trained on me. “Since my wife thinks that what we just did is fucking Imma give her the I just came to fuck treatment and bounce.”
“Nooo..no..no..Kingston. Don’t leave. You and Lovie need to talk about this. Let’s go next door to Sadie’s shop, get a cup of coffee and just cool down for a minute. You can finish telling us about the opportunity to write with Semaj Jones. Huh? What do you say? Lovie?” Mika turned to me, her eyes begging me to go have a cup of coffee. “Please, I hate that you guys are fighting like this. Just...let’s just go next door and sort through whatever this is.”
Kingston and I continued to stare at each other until his phone started ringing again.
“What’s up Simon.” He answered the call. His heated gaze still on me. I couldn’t make out what Kingston’s manager and best friend was saying but I could tell that whatever it was it was some more exciting news. Kingston nodded his head a few times before saying, “Alright, I’m leaving now. See you in a few.”
“Cousin-” Mika tried to reason again but he ignored her and walked over to me.
Kingston stared into my eyes with so many emotions washing over his face for what felt like hours. Both of us too stubborn to speak. When he finally realized that I wasn’t going to be the first to say anything he placed a kiss to my forehead, grabbed his luggage, and then left.
“So what are you going to do?” Simon asked as we walked into the makeshift studio he transformed one of his extra bedrooms into.
I shrugged my shoulders and flipped on the light switch.
“I don’t know. On one hand I want to fight for my marriage, but on the other hand I don’t see the point in continuing to fight for something when the person you want to be in the ring with wants to just forfeit.”
Simon hit a few switches on the soundboard turning it on.
“Do you really think Lovie wants to get a divorce?”
I wiped my hand over my face and sighed.
“Seems like it to me. She won't even answer any of my phone calls or text. The last time I saw her things went all the way left and I just don’t know if there’s any coming back from that. She said some things and I said some in return,” I shrugged my shoulders again, “Maybe us getting a divorce is what needs to happen.”
Simon's sympathetic eyes cut over to me before he took a seat in one of the two office chairs.
“Look, you know I really don’t get into your personal business or anything like that, but I think that you should at least try one more time to work your marriage out before throwing in the towel. You and Lovie have always been relationship goals to all of us. The love you two have for one another,” He shook his head, “I would give up everything I own to have.”
I took a seat next to my friend and observed the longing look on his face. For as long as I’ve known Simon, he has never mentioned the words relationship goals or talked about having any type of monogamous relationship. Simon has always been that one friend who loves to play the field. Every holiday he had a different girl on his arm and every other month he had a different girl claiming to be pregnant by him. Since our college days Simon has always been a ladies man, I wonder what was going on with him now.
“Let me find out you ready to settle down and throw in your player's card.” I jokingly said as I pressed a few buttons to play back one of the tracks I recorded the other night.
Simon sat back in his chair with his fingers steepled under his chin.
“I’m getting too old to be out here doing what I do man. I want to find someone who can be to me what Lovie is to you. I want someone who will love me despite my wild past and is open to teaching me how to love them the correct way. I want someone who will keep my ass in check when I'm getting out of line and who will also give me my space when I need it and not feel some kind of way. I need a girl who will be my everything. A girl who can help shape and mold me into a man only she has the privilege of knowing. You get what I’m saying?”
I nodded my head and skipped to the next track. I didn’t feel like going into full detail about what he said so for the next hour or so Simon and I went over the four songs I recorded with Semaj as well as some the other tracks I made over the last couple of weeks. Trying to put together a track list for my new EP was starting to become way more stressful than I anticipated.
“Whatever we decide on, I think we should put those mid temple songs at the beginning and then the more mellow songs in the middle.” Simon suggested while looking down at his phone. “And then have the ballads close the EP out. Maybe even put a bonus track or something like that at the end.”
I nodded in agreement. “I was thinking the same thing. I just don’t want whoever buys or streams the album to skip over any of the tracks. I want this EP to be one of those classic joints that you can listen to from front to back like Lyfe Jennings or 112’s first CD’s.”
Simon texted something on his phone and then turned his attention to me. “Aye man, out of the thirty songs you’ve recorded so far, all of them have classic potential to me. The hard part now is just trying to narrow it down to only ten tracks.”
It was times like this that I wanted to call Lovie and have her come up to the studio, listen to my top choices and get her yes or no on whether the song made the cut or not. As much as she claimed to not know a thing about music she always seemed to pick the right song out for me to cover on my IG page. Anytime Lovie suggested a song for me to sing, that particular video would get well over two hundred thousand likes and more than twenty thousand comments.
“So for the first track I’m thinking we should go with Her Eyes.” I told Simon as I pressed a few buttons and started playing that particular song. As soon as the first chord from the guitar started and the low cadence of the drums brought in the rythmic beat my mind shifted to my wife and how she was the full on inspiration behind this song and pretty much the entire album.
By the time Simon and I finished selecting half of the songs we were going to use for the EP it was well into the evening and we were both hungry as hell. I ordered some take out from the small chinese spot up the street while Simon continued to text whoever had him skinning and grinning during the whole track picking process. By the time the food arrived, Simon had grabbed his jacket and car keys and was leaving out of the door. One of his old girlfriends from a couple years ago had flown into town and invited him to join her for dinner.
As I chowed down on the shrimp fried rice and egg rolls alone my mind kept flashing over everything that went down a week ago when Lovie and I went to Brenton together. I sent her numerous texts apologizing for talking to her the way that I did but I didn’t regret a word that I said. If our love making was now reduced down to simple fucking in Lovie’s mind, what did that mean for us? Was she just tolerating being my wife because we took those vows or did she really want us to work? Did she even still love me as much as I hoped she did or has that been reduced down to being loyal to me only because we been together for so long? There were so many unanswered questions that weighed heavy on my heart and only one person who could answer them.
Picking up my phone I scrolled down my text message thread until I found my wifes name and sent her another apology.
Me: Hey beautiful. I just wanted to apologize again for my tone with you last weekend at Mika’s shop. Do you forgive me?
It took only a few seconds for her to respond.
My World: Like I told you the last five times you asked me that...yes, I forgive you Kingston.
Me: I’m just making sure baby, that’s all.
My World: I know.
Me: I just want us to be right Lovie.
My World: Me too.
Me: Then what do you need me to do to make that happen?
Her three dots started jumping as soon as she read that message.
My World: I
My World: I don’t know Kingston.
Me: You don’t know or you don’t want to say?
A minute passed before she responded.
My World: I don’t know Kingston.
Me: Well can I come over after this studio session so that we can talk.
My World: Sorry...I’m working late tonight.
Lovie was as driven in her career as I was in mine so I knew her excuse for working late wasn’t too much of a lie, however her hours at work could be just as long as my hours were at the studio yet she has never offered to cut down on those days to work on us. I knew I was probably going to be pushing it with this next question but I had to ask.
Me: Do you still love me Lovie?
