A fae tale, p.5
A Fae Tale, page 5
“You’re no fun.”
“I’m lots of fun.”
Zuzane shakes her head. “When’s the last time you even tried to relax? You used to play with me, go swimming, you know, have fun.”
“There’s no time.”
Before I have a chance to even process what she’s doing, she pushes me off the rock.
Fresh spring water fills my mouth. I splash, my dress soaked and clinging to me as I right myself, spitting out the fresh water. It actually tasted quite nice, but I’m not here for that. “Zuzane of Cekiske,” I holler, stomping back to her, sending spray out around me. “I need to talk to you about something important.”
“Is it destiny? And the immutability of fate? Because you talk about that all the time.”
I falter, staring, the fight going out of me. I kick the water, sending a wave over her.
“Hey!” She jumps up, glaring.
I smirk.
Never one to back down from a challenge, she charges, hurtling water in my face. As I prepare my response, I catch a glimpse of the soaked bag in the water. Great. Well, I wanted Lithuanian copies anyway. I’m still pissed, though, so I dump an entire armful of water right on her head.
As we play, the sky darkens. I’m not sure if this counts as a storm dance or if it’s merely chance, but we have to huddle in a nearby cave when lightning starts crashing down. At least it helps me unwind a little. But it means I’ll have to wait to see my grandmother after all. I’ll try not to be too bothered. I do love her. Genuinely. And she loves me. But talking to her about this is beyond terrifying. I can’t let her know too much, and doing precisely that is the very purpose of her being.
Chapter Seven
Dovana
As soon as my class ends, I dash out the door. Taya’s class doesn’t let out for another half hour, so I’m not quite sure what I’m hurrying for, but I need to talk to her. I at least need to talk to someone, and I can’t go home since Caroline is busy. I better remember to grab food for her, can’t forget that. I’ll invite Taya to get pizza; that’ll make it easy.
I find a bench in the hall outside her classroom and pull the letter out of my backpack. I’ve made a good bit of progress, but this thing is not short.
I’ve told you about Zuzane before, right? She got her own spring last week. She had been vying for a bathhouse with another laume, Egle. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned her. We’re not close. There’s nothing against sharing, but you know those water laumes, they tend to be so territorial and competitive. But she’s been excited. She actually threw a party, and that’s not a thing we tend to do at all. There were all kinds of other beings there. My mother was intent on convincing me to start looking for a man to breed with.
Maybe I’m not ready for it.
But the party was a lot of fun. I’d never been to one before. Have you been going to a lot of parties at your school? I don’t really know what they entail. I assume there’s a lot of drinking. She had found some human liquor and brought it, and I simply do not see the appeal. But the aitvaras that came seemed to have a taste for the stuff. I think I’ve mentioned how large they can be when they’re not in a home. The little spark in your house was nothing compared to this fellow. He took up nearly the whole spring and turned it into a veritable hot spring.
Try not to let any come to your parties. They hog all of the food.
I stare at the ceiling, shaking my head as I pinch the bridge of my nose. Sometimes, she does seem to treat me as a diary. But I can’t complain. I love seeing this glimpse into this world, into her life. Any time I don’t have one of these to read, I can’t help but wonder what she’s up to. Even if she’s never going to be more than a pen pal, I care about her. She’s my best friend.
And she’s not even willing to see me.
Groaning, I toss my head back, smacking it into the concrete wall behind me.
Ow.
I hold my head, hoping that no one saw that. I must look dumb right now.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I flip it open. Don’t forget not to come home until six! Thanks, Caroline. Way to make a girl feel wanted.
I type a quick response with the word function and let her know that I remembered. While I’m messaging people, I let Taya know that I’m waiting for her and ask if pizza is all right.
It takes a few minutes, but she says, You’re always waiting for me. I just assumed I’d see you. And pizza sounds wonderful.
I call her a bitch and return to my letter.
It seems that she’s been hanging out with Zuzane more than she used to. At least from what she says. I wonder if it’s because she’s not seeing her mother as often, so she’s feeling lonelier. I know I went through that when I first ran off to college. Fortunately, I had a roommate to distract me.
Speaking of, her class files out. “Hey slut,” the familiar accented voice calls from off to the side.
I just called her a bitch. What should I go with? “What’s up, skank?”
She shakes her head. “You’re hopeless.”
“What?”
Chuckling, she gestures for us to walk. “Let’s go grab some pizza.”
I guess that’ll give me time to sort out what I want to say. This is going to be complicated.
✥ ✥ ✥
Taya and I have to wait in a surprisingly long line. Apparently, 4:30 is a popular time for dinner. Who’d have guessed?
“How was class?” I try asking. Even as badly as I need to confide in her, I’d rather we hide away in an alcove and wait for our food first.
“Did you want me to talk about my physics course? ’Cause every time I’ve tried, you’ve zoned out within a few seconds.”
“I have not.”
“Equations.”
I stare at the menu.
She chortles, shaking her head. I’m too far gone for her to even be offended. “Fine, then how was your class?”
“Oh, it was pretty great. We’re still going over Kierkegaard’s spheres of existence. It’s honestly been really interesting having to reexamine how I feel about the religious sphere and—”
“Vana.”
I give her a confused look. “What?”
“Who?”
“Soren Kierkegaard. He’s one of my favorite philosophers. It’s probably really between him and Hume. I’ve gone over him in class before, but that was when I first tried a philosophy course as a freshman, so it’s nice getting to have a look at him now that I’m more mature and see how my beliefs have changed.”
“Yeah, so mature.”
“I am!”
Flashing a playful grin, she tsks at me. “What am I gonna do with you?”
“I think you’ve done enough.”
The grin vanishes, her jaw dropping. “And what do you mean by that?”
“You know exactly what I mean,” I say. I really do try not to hold a grudge. It’s hard not to after what she pulled, but she’s still my best friend. But sometimes our playing around does just remind me too much of how little she thinks of me.
“Oh, do I?”
“Yeah. Pretty sure you do.”
“Ma’am,” someone behind her says. Judging by the exasperated tone in their voice, possibly not for the first time. “Your order.”
Taya turns, an apologetic look on her face, and orders a couple slices of margherita pizza.
I order a slice of veggie and one of whatever the specialty is before remembering to add Caroline’s usual. Since she’s paying me back, will have to wait either way, and will share it, I order a whole pizza for her. We head up the little set of stairs and find a spot to sit without too many people around.
“Please, no more philosopher lectures,” Taya says, sipping her drink.
I forgot to get one. “Well, if I didn’t have to go grab something, I would. You could use some Hume in your life.” I know I still sound pissed, but I try to at least make it into a joke.
“What does that even mean?”
I ignore her and head off to order a diet soda.
Once I’m newly situated, I stare at my bag. What if she still doesn’t believe me? And then I’ll be stuck here with her until I can go home. Am I sure this is a good idea?
“Did you want to do anything this weekend? That movie I’ve been looking forward to just came out here if you’re interested.”
“I’m not watching anything in Russian.”
“I watched that Lithuanian movie with you.”
“Not the same.” I sigh. If the alternative is fighting over Russia again, I may as well just put it out there. “Do you remember when we were roommates?”
“You mean when we were dating?”
Groaning, I nod. “Until you ruined everything.”
“I wanted you to get help. You’re the one who flipped out.”
I turn on her, glaring, my hand still in my backpack. “I didn’t need help.”
“You were putting food outside our window, convinced a fairy was going to come take it. I thought you were on drugs.”
How did I ever manage to forgive her in the first place? This was why we didn’t talk about this shit. “I’m not crazy. Oh, for fuck’s sake, just look for yourself.” I pull the dozens of pages of the letter out of my bag and set them on the table. “This is from Roze. She sends them every year. I have more back home. I tried to tell you at the time, but you wouldn’t have any of it.”
“Roze is—”
“That ‘fairy,’ as you say.”
She glances up, concern clear on her face. “Dovana—”
“Just look at it. You know full well I didn’t write that whole thing.”
“No, your hand writing is nowhere near this nice.”
“My handwriting is fine. I won an award for calligraphy in middle school.”
“I know your handwriting, and it’s not like this. But that doesn’t mean that it’s some…what was the word?”
“Laume.”
“It doesn’t mean that a laume wrote it. You could have a pen pal.” She never believes me. I should’ve known better than to try to talk to her about it again. I could have Roze herself with me, and it still wouldn’t get through Taya’s thick skull.
“I do have a pen pal. That doesn’t make her human.”
“Vana—”
“I know what I’m talking about. I’m not crazy.”
She sighs, staring right into my eyes. I wish she didn’t look so caring. It makes it harder to be mad at her. “These things aren’t real.”
“They are. I’ve seen her and others.”
“And that’s why you need help.”
“I saw the counselor. She says I’m fine.” I cross my arms. “Just read the fucking letter.”
She starts to say something else when two metal plates with pizza slices are set in front of us. “Numbers forty-two and forty-three?” the server checks.
“Yeah,” we both say.
She runs off, and Taya looks between the letter and her food. “I don’t want to get food on it.”
“Then don’t. Just look, please. You’re my best friend, and I need you to believe me.”
She swallows, licking her lips as her eyes fail to meet mine. “How about I take this with me and have a look at it?”
“I haven’t finished reading it.”
That seems to give her pause. She looks between it and me. “You—”
“I didn’t write it.”
“I know.”
“I leave her food and a letter in my window every year on the anniversary of the day we met, when she helped me find my way home. And every single time, there’s one of these letters waiting. It happened in Babtai, it happened once we moved to Toronto, and it’s happened at each of my dorms. Roze is real, Taya. And she’s my friend. As my friend, that should mean something to you.”
“It does,” she says.
“Then stop acting like I’m crazy.”
“Why are you showing me this now? It’s been two years since I confronted you about this.”
I shrug. “I thought I shouldn’t tell anyone, but now I’m tired of having to treat it like a secret. I’m tired of her treating me like a secret.” I take a deep breath. This was the part I really wanted to talk to her about, but I needed her to believe me first. “In the letter”—I gesture about halfway down the first page—“she mentions that she’s gone to visit other people after she rescued them, but she’s never done so with me. We’re friends. We talk every year. And I don’t understand why she wouldn’t. And I wanted to talk to someone about it, and I thought if anyone would listen to me…” I let out an exasperated sigh. “I should’ve just called my mother.”
“Well, it couldn’t just mean that she’s not…wait, your mother knows?”
I blink. “Yes? Why wouldn’t she?”
“But…how?”
“She was there. And she and my father used the gold that Roze gave us to move out here.”
“She gives you gold?”
I nod.
Her mouth opens and closes a few times. “Why didn’t you lead with that?”
“Well, I actually have a reason to keep that secret. People steal gold. I trust you a lot, but that doesn’t mean I want you to know how much money I have.” How on earth do I still trust her? I know I’m not lying when I say it, but she doesn’t deserve it. She could just believe me for once in her damn life. Why would I lie about this?
“Show me a piece, then. Between that and the letter”—she sighs—“maybe I could at least be open to the possibility.”
I blink. She’s actually considering it? It’s still not enough. “Can’t you just believe me because I know what I’m talking about?”
“It’s not that simple.”
I nod. “It is. Taya, you’re my friend. This is important to me. Believe me. I don’t care how much it shatters your worldview, it’s true. And I need to talk to you about it.”
She lets out a low groan and slides the letter back across the table. “Fine, I’ll accept it at face value for now. Tell me about it while I eat, and I’ll do what I can. But I want more evidence later.”
Considering this, I chew on my lip. It’s a fairer compromise than I should have expected. “All right. But you have to actually be willing to accept what I give you.”
She holds out her hands. “I’ll do what I can.”
“Okay.”
She chews while I go over everything from the beginning again, like I tried to last time when she wasn’t ready to listen. By the time I get to the present, she’s finished both her slices, and I’ve barely eaten half of one. I decide to busy myself with that while she mulls my words over.
“So you think she’s avoiding you?”
“I don’t know.” I suck on my teeth and move my mouth around to try to dislodge a stubborn piece of cheese, and she’s kind enough to look away.
“Maybe there’s something she’s not telling you? If we’re going to assume that it’s not just a trick or that your mom isn’t writing the letters.”
“Taya!” She managed what, a full minute of an open mind before she went right back to assuming I’m crazy, lying, a moron, or all three?
“I know, I know.”
“And my mom definitely can’t scale the side of my dorm building,” I snap
She hesitates. “Yeah, she is a little on the heavy side.”
I roll my eyes. “Why do I even talk to you?”
“Because you love me.”
It’s true, but right now it hardly feels like enough of a reason. “Besides that.”
She smirks.
I chew on my second slice. It’s spicier than expected. I’m not quite sure what all they put on it. I try taking smaller bites and washing it down. “Maybe there’s something she’s scared of? It could be my parents? Or maybe she thinks she’s not allowed to since her mother wouldn’t let her? I don’t know that her mother wouldn’t let her, but she was six when we first met.”
“Wait, she’s the same age as you? Aren’t fairies not able to have kids?”
I shrug. “From what I’ve seen when I looked up myths, they can’t, but I’m not sure how it works. And people could just get stuff wrong.”
“All right. Not that important. So what do you think then?”
I blow out a breath. I wish I knew. “Maybe I should try inviting her?”
“How’re you going to do that if she only comes once a year?”
“Well, I could try what I normally do. I never really bothered leaving a gift for her on any other day. It could be that she can come any time.”
She shrugs. “Can I join you? I’d really like to see the evidence here.”
“She might not come if you’re there. Hell, maybe the reason she never comes is because I’ve always had a roommate or my parents.” Could that really be it? Has she been avoiding me this whole time just because I didn’t pay a bit extra to not have a roommate? If she’d just told me, I’d have done it in an instant. Not like that means much when she gives me the money in the first place. I start to run my fingers through my hair, stopping to wipe them on a napkin when I think better of it. “Not that that seems to stop her with others.”
“Let me be there for you,” she insists, her voice firm. “If what you say is…no, I’ve been a shitty friend over this, and it already took so much from us. Let me go with you, and if she doesn’t show up, I won’t say I told you so or anything because it’s not the day she visits you on, so it doesn’t say anything for sure.”
I take the time to finish my pizza before responding. I guess I’m giving her a second chance with all this. Maybe this time, I won’t have to see a therapist. “Promise you won’t be a bitch about it?”
“Scout’s honor.”
“I am two-thousand-percent sure you were never a Boy Scout.”
“There are scouts in Russia.”
“Were you one?”
She tilts her head. “Well, no. But I promise.”
“Fine. But I’m not gonna be your friend anymore if you break it.”
Her gaze falls back to the table, and her fingers dance on it for a moment. “I won’t. I know this is important to you. Will Caroline mind my coming?”
“No, she owes me. And said you could.”
“I think the second part may be more important.”
