Roskov book 22, p.11
Roskov, Book 22, page 11
‘Do you actually make anything from that computer business?’ Ian asked.
‘I do, yes, and I’m involved with promoting it around Europe. But most of the money I’ll make next year will come from Corsica, and all of the new building projects there and facilities, and the hotels of course.’
‘And you visited Sardinia,’ Angus floated.
‘We flew there on a small plane with propellers, and after landing safely we visited the new site, twenty nursing homes to be built there, a dozen Irish building managers located there so far.
‘They greeted me with a cheery “shit it’s hot here” and stood looking pink.’
The audience laughed.
‘Will Belfast workers go there?’ Angus asked.
‘They will, and also to Crete, maybe Mexico, because they don’t get enough sun in Belfast.’
They laughed.
‘And the Protestants, are they behaving?’ Ian asked. ‘There was talk of a brothel or two popping up.’
‘They are behaving, yes, and they said to tell you that they do not, at all, use the local brothels or even know where they are.’
The audience laughed.
‘Have brothels sprung up around the workers’ camps?’ Paul toyed.
I faced him. ‘So it has been rumoured. I’d be tempted to run them and to make some money, but the Irish lads are all devout Christians, Catholic and Protestant, so we’d have no trade.’
They laughed.
I added, ‘But I am looking for another thousand Irish lads, if there are any left to find.’
‘Ones that don’t mind the heat,’ Paul noted. ‘And the lack of a handy brothel.’
They laughed.
‘Correct on both points,’ I quipped.
Ian faced the Tory MP. ‘And your take on the peace process?’
‘The Protestants started the troubles, as Roskov keeps mentioning, and they need only level the playing field as far as job opportunities are concerned, and then we’d see less trouble in the province.
‘As for the Protestant politicians in Parliament, no one likes them or wants to work with them, Thatcher had to suffer them, but Blair doesn’t have to suffer them - he has the majority.’
‘Suffer them?’ Ian repeated. ‘Are they a little difficult to work with?’
‘Like the Israelis,’ she noted. ‘They have an opinion set before they sit down and enter into talks.’
I smiled. ‘Which is why I’m working around them. The Protestants not the Israelis. And the Israelis are not difficult negotiators, they just want you to hand everything to them and take nothing in return.’
They laughed.
‘And were the Sardinians pleased to see you?’ Ian asked.
‘They were, a new optimism, jobs to be created for builders now and doctors and nurses and carers later on. We’ll buy up old properties and renovate them, accommodation for our new staff, a boost to local jobs.’
‘How many nursing homes will you build on Sardinia?’ Angus asked.
‘Around fifty, maybe more, twenty to start on Crete, forty to start in Spain, twenty to start in Mexico. Then we’ll step up a gear and get a move on and do a proper day’s work.’
Ian asked, ‘And is your posh hotel in Corsica full of celebs this week?’
‘We had Jenny and a model, walking around naked and rubbing suntan oil onto each other.’
‘This is a family show,’ Paul told me, the audience laughing.
I continued, ‘But since they left it’s just been stuffy old politicians and their families and a few billionaires. But I tell you, I thought I had a thing with babies and animals, and a young horse was misbehaving so I took it for a walk and it calmed right down.
‘Then two naked girls walked past and it followed them down to the beach and completely ignored me.’
They laughed.
Paul told me, ‘I’d ignore you as well, I’d want to try the golf ranges.’
They laughed.
I told him, ‘We’re building a golf course in the lake valley, a great view over the lake, but if you overshoot … the ball will end up in a deep lake. And next to the golf course will be a few posh villas, if you have a million quid to spare.’
‘I wish I had,’ he complained. ‘I’d have to stay in a tent.’
‘Some rich folk do, when they fly in without a hotel booking and find no rooms available. They get diverted to the campsites.’
‘Do many people end up like that?’ Ian puzzled.
‘Some come across by car, on the ferry from Marseille, and then hope to find a room but then get stuck. All hotels are ordered to keep a room or two spare, and my new hotel complex will help with stupid people that drive there in the middle of the summer and hope to find room available.
‘And soon we’ll be able to put them in with the pilgrims, three new large hotels to open in Pilgrim Valley, and each apartment could hold five people at a squeeze.’
‘Rich tourists, in with priests and nuns?’ Ian queried.
‘Not in the same apartment, obviously,’ I told him, the audience laughing.
‘And if they step out onto their balcony naked?’ Ian pressed.
‘Then the nuns next door might be shocked, yes. But there’ll be a ladies’ hotel and a men’s hotel, no nuns being shocked by naked bodies – as God created them.
‘And I was shocked when I visited, the beach full with mixed families. I had expected to see nuns in black, their robes pulled up, feet in the water.’
They laughed.
I added, ‘Most visitors are family groups, and many pilgrims now go to Cadiz in Spain.’
‘They’re complaining, in Cadiz, the locals,’ Ian pointed out. ‘Too many bloody tourists and not enough roads or parking spaces.’
‘I bet the hoteliers are not complaining,’ I quipped.
‘Them no, the locals – yes,’ Ian responded. ‘Long traffic queues, more coaches.’
‘The Spanish are used to that,’ I suggested. ‘And jobs come first, jobs in the winter months in Cadiz.’
‘Will you meet Tony Blair today?’ Ian asked.
‘Nothing planned, but I go when summoned - and when I have the bus fare.’
They laughed.
‘Well that’s all we have time for tonight, no one farting and no light bulbs blowing, so there was an absence of things blowing.’
‘Sod off, you,’ Ian told him.
The audience laughed.
‘Goodnight.’
Out from the studios, I jumped into the van with Pat and Dingle, a long two hours to get up to Leicester and to catch up on the lads’ gossip. It had rained on the way north, but as we arrived in the city the sun came out.
At the new offices I dumped my luggage, the suite as I had left it, and downstairs I sat with the senior Swedish men and our architect, a few people on holiday this week.
The architect began, ‘Battersea is progressing well, we have a night shift working, and the builders will get a bonus for a quick finish. The second builders’ group is next door, across the railway line, and the foundations for the nursing homes there and the new apartments facing the river are complete.
‘Your other consortium, who call themselves Aquarius Docklands Development, have been looking at the land next to Battersea.
‘They created a limited company – which will be the management company, and then the investment company, so it’s the same set-up as the main consortium basically. And you have thirty percent of the management company in your name, but it’s worth … nothing basically.
‘They have accountants and auditors appointed - it was in the London papers, solicitors retained, and they boast a pledged fund of more than two billion pounds.’
‘I’ll meet with them soon.’
‘I’m down as consultant architect, and we have a plan for the first building, similar to the last drawing you had a look at. They have land earmarked for five such buildings, so far that is.’
‘I want my funds to have a slice of the investment…’
‘That balance, of who invests just how much, is not set yet.’
I nodded. ‘It’s a good investment, so the funds will each put some money in, as well as in Corsica - my new holiday village. Prices there will treble when it’s complete, a year to build it.’
‘Good work when you can get it,’ he commended. He checked his notes. ‘Here … the large Phase Zero at Rose Fallon House is making progress, the Phase One as well, as well as the morgue and the dialysis centre.
‘Five hundred yards away we bought more land, another Three-Phase planned, plus a large Phase Zero next to it, there’s plenty of land.’
He handed me an outline map. ‘That’s the planned road layout for the new cancer hospital, and the council wants it firmed up soon so that they can put in the roads, the sewage and electrics; the charity bought the land not the consortium.’
I told them, ‘The consortium would own and run the long-stay care facility as a kind of Phase Two and Three, the NHS would own most of the treatment centre, and the consortium would control the research centres as landlord, so when ready the consortium would buy half the land at least.’
He nodded. ‘Next, the Nottingham Nursing home could open next week, they’re just about ready, staff all sat there checking things and having courses.’
‘I can be there for it. And The Queen?’
‘Has set aside a day or two ready.’ He checked his notes. ‘A side note, and a developer has bought land next to our Manchester nursing home complex, and that developer will build a mix of apartments and shops, cafes and bars.’
‘Such apartments might suit our staff and some of the visitors, and the cafes and shops would suit Phase One people and staff. And it all helps, local house prices would rise.’
‘Bill reports that he’s bought fifty houses around it, and that prices are rising quickly.’
I nodded.
He checked his notes again, ‘The BUPA home next to Ronnie Masters house is making progress, a mass of cranes at the moment. And … a survey of the residents of Ronnie Masters House found them all very happy – despite the building work.’
‘Good to know.’
‘The posh nursing home near Bournemouth is making good progress, a sloping Frances House sort of, and the interest for it is huge - the apartments will sell well. Derby is on track, and we have land in Newcastle and plans for a large complex there, similar to Manchester – the council very keen to assist us.’
‘And Middlesbrough?’ I asked.
‘Plans have been submitted and accepted, ground cut, a Three Phase plus a Phase Zero, same size as Rose Fallon House. And … we have suitable locations in eleven other towns, awaiting funding.’
‘The Government put in money, so we can use it. Spread a hundred million of Government money across a few nursing home projects.’
‘That would cover two large Phase Threes with add-on Phase Zeros. Perhaps next could be … Coventry and … then Swindon.’
‘Go ahead quickly, the Government wants a shit load of nursing homes built. Expect a second hundred million to be allocated next month, make plans.’
He made a note and then closed his file. ‘That’s my immediate queries, and I’m off on holiday soon.’
The Swedish main man began, ‘The consortium wish to divert funds, or add new funds, to a UK property fund as you operate now.’
‘The nursing homes will make excellent returns,’ I pointed out.
‘Yes, they can see the figures, but they also want a diverse portfolio. Some of them own banks, and the banks want London and UK land and property exposure.’
‘Odd, because Malaysia and Singapore see great returns.’
‘A saturated market apparently, a glut of apartments this year,’ he reported.
I nodded, thinking. ‘The answer is yes, as much as they want to invest, a separate fund, split by Tier One, Two and Three buildings.’
He made a note.
‘Tier One is a house or apartment, less than four bedrooms. Tier Two is an apartment block, Three is an office block. They can be further sub-divided by London and outside London. So they can specify where they want the exposure.
‘Chat to Russel, have him create the funds, and we can make a start soon, we have the structures in place already.’
‘Russel reports many suitable sites found next to railway lines around London.’
I nodded. ‘Great future potential, yes.’ I faced my architect. ‘Parking, in our Docklands building?’
‘Half the ground floor and more than half of the first floor, so up to a thousand cars, some for shoppers, some for residents. Most residents will not have cars.’
‘And the local council?’
‘Is very keen, as are the Docklands Development Board and the Government. And the Docklands Development Board is hinting at some collusion, so that we get the best land around Docklands.’
‘So long as we’re not breaking any laws we might sit down and chat to them in private, yes. Let me handle that.’
‘Legally, they are allowed to pick and choose based on suitability and joint ventures, and if we build some social housing then we’re persona grata.’
‘I was planning on a shit load of social housing, so we’ll definitely be popular,’ I quipped.
My Swedish guy checked his notes. ‘Some of the investors are keen on European ventures outside of Corsica, some less so, not much interest in Mexico. They prefer southern Spain.’
‘The EU will put in money, and the EU national governments will get involved, so there’ll be plenty of money available,’ I responded. ‘And I may use some of the fund money on selected projects, short term projects.
‘In Corsica we’ll build apartments that are just like Frances House, sell them and take the profit and move on.’
‘Suitable for fund money, yes,’ he agreed. ‘What will the British Government contribute to nursing homes here?’
‘A shit load of money, they want a hundred nursing homes open, and open this week. So we need to structure it so that we loan money from their fund at zero percent interest, use it to build, then pay it back slowly.
‘The consortium would own and run the buildings, the Government putting in the loan. But I did suggest to them that they own forty percent of a few nursing homes, so plan for the day when they do own that percentage and how we split the profit – just certain nursing homes.
‘So … Government money would be used to build the nursing home, and we’d pay back sixty percent of it, the Government owns the forty percent and takes annual profit pro rata.’
‘It is straight forwards,’ he responded, making a note.
‘And Frances House profits?’
‘Are fantastic, for such a business. When the Frances House cluster and Scorfo Valley are complete the annual profit will be huge compared to build and land costs. After the third year it is all profit.’
‘Any feedback from the first two homes in Scorfo?’ I asked.
‘They are very similar to Frances House, experienced staff were moved over, and the residents make use of the beach and the beach clubs – those that are open.
‘The shops there are busy, hairdressers, pet centre. What they have that Frances House lacks is the number of beach clubs and other clubs. There is a place to play cards, bowls, a few indoor music places.’
‘Then suggest to the staff in Corsica that they assess the needs and maybe build similar facilities near Frances House, things to do in the winter.’
He made a note. ‘There is less land around Frances House, but still much land in the valley itself.’
‘What will Nottingham Council do with spare council housing?’
‘They have a long waiting list of people who wish such houses, they plan to allow us a few hundred only.’
I noted, ‘It’s just the one nursing home there at the moment, but in time that will change. Some of the people moving to those council houses may move to our nursing home in five years, a short stay for them – hardly worth moving house.’
‘The Paris office is now reported as busy, but they have all the staff they desire, the build there progressing well and on schedule. The French Government have purchased land in the southwest of France and wish to start nursing homes there very soon.
‘The local council in Perpignan is building roads, drains and installing electric lines. They await us.’
‘Money is left from the initial French loan?’ I asked.
‘Yes, almost two hundred million Euro after commitments.’
‘So allocate a hundred million towards making a start on the first two nursing homes, Frances House style, experienced Irish builders and managers sent there to compliment the local French builders.’
‘There are another two hundred Protestant men on the list…’
‘Organise a special plane, I want them in Corsica right away, to Scorfo Valley.’
He made a note.
‘And tell my contact in Belfast that I want another thousand, inside of two months.’
‘Will you accept apprentices?’
‘If they’ve done the course in Belfast Docks, most definitely, so send them. And if the Protestant numbers are slowing up … find me two hundred men from Newcastle and a local recruitment company up there.’
He made a note. ‘The north of England lacks jobs.’
‘It does, and I can help in a small way. Have apprentices and Newcastle men all start in Scorfo to learn the ropes.’
He nodded and made a note. ‘I think they do this already, yes, training there.’
‘And the Spanish office?’ I asked.
‘Still some staff to recruit, and they are busy with planning the cluster and other locations in the south. They report eleven suitable sites, but Spanish permission moves slowly.’
‘Send a rude letter, from me, to the Spanish Ambassador in London, suggesting that they move quicker – or we’ll build in Crete!’
He smiled and made a note.
‘If they don’t speed up the process I’ll shout,’ I told them.
In the suite upstairs later I had a shower, but it felt odd to be here, and it felt a bit lonely – to be here alone, no twins and no Julie.
