Falling for her, p.10
Falling for Her, page 10
Kim led the way across the lawn to her Jeep. She unlocked it using the key fob, and Marisa climbed in as Kim went around to the driver’s side. As Kim slipped behind the wheel, she saw Marisa holding the bag from the bookstore. “Oh. Uh...”
“Doing a little research?” Marisa asked, holding up the novel.
“Yeah. Seeing what stunts I may have to pull off in the future.”
Marisa thumbed through the book, hopefully too quickly to actually read any of the content. “I’m trying to force myself not to re-read the books. I know the Simone of the series will be a different character, so I don’t want to muddy the waters. She’s just a recurring character in the books. Temple is the main guy. I don’t need to know that much about Temple, sorry.”
Kim smiled. “So where do you want to go?”
“Well, there is one place kind of nearby. It’s a little posh, so you might not like it.”
“I’m willing to try anything once.”
Marisa arched an eyebrow and said, “Well, then. Drive on, Jeeves. I’ll give you directions as we go.”
Chapter Fourteen
“So this is where the rich and famous go to eat,” Kim said, looking over the crowd.
“Best kept secret of the elite.” Marisa had her fingers stuck in the pockets of her pants, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she scanned the menu above the counter. The air was thick with the sounds and smells of spattering grease. The shop was small and cramped, but Marisa assured her the ambiance was not the appeal of the restaurant. Kim didn’t doubt her. They stepped up to the counter and Marisa said, “Give me an steak burger, with Swiss, and mushrooms.” She turned to face Kim, gesturing for her to order.
Kim couldn’t make heads or tails of the menu, so she shrugged. “Uh, give me the same.”
Marisa chuckled at Kim’s expression. “Don’t even start. I’ll do an extra ten reps of everything tomorrow. This place is a guilty pleasure. Sue me.”
“Just pay for my angioplasty and we’ll call it even.”
Despite Marisa’s baseball cap and glasses, a few of the customers still nudged each other and nodded toward her. Kim caught one person surreptitiously using a cell phone to snap a picture. Kim felt offended in Marisa’s place, as she didn’t seem to notice or care.
When their burgers arrived, wrapped in butcher paper smeared with grease, Marisa paid and nodded toward the back of the café. She picked up two bottles of soda from a cooler, and then led the way through a door that led out onto a wide boardwalk. Kim suddenly saw the appeal of the restaurant; the harbor spread out in front of them like a shining carpet, still and beautiful, reflecting the night sky perfectly. Music was playing through speakers set above the door, and Marisa guided Kim to the far side of the boardwalk as a singer Kim couldn’t identify serenaded them. They found a table near the railing and claimed it for themselves.
“I love this place. Andrew thinks it’s a sign of the fall of Western civilization.”
“I think I may have to side with your boyfriend on that one,” Kim said, examining her sandwich. She caught the disappointed look on Marisa’s face and quickly added, “But the view is quickly changing my mind.”
Marisa looked over the railing and smiled. “The water is the best part. I’d gladly eat at any restaurant that had a view like this. And if you don’t like the food, they have salads...”
“Oh, please. I was just giving you a hard time.” She took a big bite of her sandwich, chewed it carefully, and swallowed. “Screw rabbit food. Give me a steak drowning in sauce and shut your mouth about whether it’s ‘healthy’ or not. Odds are, next week, they’ll have a recall because there’s E. coli in the lettuce and you’re doomed anyway.”
“Right on.” Marisa held out her hand, and Kim slapped it. “But like I said, I have to really attack my exercises tomorrow to make up for it. But if it doesn’t make you feel a little bit guilty, what’s the point?”
Kim smiled. “Oh, wait. I see what it is. You only brought me here to fatten me up alongside you so I can keep being your double.”
“No, but that is a good idea. ‘I have to eat it, Andrew, my stunt double has turned into quite a porker. I’m doing it for her.’”
“I’d be willing to take the bullet, but they would probably just replace me with someone else if that happened.”
Marisa said, “Oh, then never mind.”
Kim leaned against the railing. “You know, this already beats the party. In terms of company and enjoyment.”
“Well, thank you. I think. I mean, I did plan that party, you know. But I’ll take the compliment as it was intended.” She winked. “I just get so fed up, having to put on a smile and play hostess all night. An hour or two, fine. But these parties tend to go on and on without end.” She sighed and shrugged. “The curse of partying with celebrities, I guess.”
“You’re a celebrity, too, you know.”
“In name only,” Marisa said. “I still feel like a fake most of the time.”
Kim raised her eyebrows and looked down at her burger. “Yeah, I know how you feel.”
Marisa looked up, looked at Kim for a moment, and then turned to the water. She rested her chin on her hand. “I can never just be me.”
“Well, you don’t have to impress me.”
Marisa smiled sadly. “Well, it’s not all about impressing people. But thank you.” She shook her head. “And to be honest, I feel very at ease with you. More at ease than I’ve felt in... a long time.” She sat back. “Did you know my name isn’t really Marisa?”
Kim blinked. “No. I had no idea.”
Marisa shrugged and said, “Yeah. I officially changed it when I was seventeen, not long after I got bit by the acting bug. I was born Mary Prewitt. Larkin was my mother’s maiden name, and Marisa was... well, I just thought it was pretty. It’s my real name as far as paperwork goes, but sometimes... I just miss Mary.”
“I can understand that.” She picked at her burger and said, “I’ve always wondered how actresses could, you know, take off a character when they went home. I mean, you spend all day being someone else. How can you turn that off, and just go home to be yourself?”
“I hide myself a lot anyway,” Marisa said.
Kim couldn’t look up into her eyes. “That’s a shame. You seem like a pretty good person to me.”
Marisa smiled and bowed her head in thanks. “How’s the burger?”
“It’s good.”
“And since I seem to be in confession mode... when I said Andrew was relieved to have you doing all those stunts for me?” Kim nodded. “I lied. He’s fine with whatever I decide to do. I’m the one who is grateful you’re there for me. I am terrified of a lot of things. I’m fine with heights, unless there’s a chance I can fall. I can’t even go onto the roof of a tall building without having a panic attack. So having you there to take the fall for me is... a relief.”
“I’m happy to do it. It’s not that hard to fall for you.”
Marisa laughed at that, and turned her head. “Flirt.”
Kim cleared her throat. “Yeah.” She took a bite of her burger and chewed it carefully. Finally, she said, “I’m gay.”
Marisa looked up, eyes wide and eyebrows raised.
“I just...” She gestured at the restaurant. “It’s not a huge secret or anything. I’m no celebrity. But a few people know, and then if they see pictures of us out together, it might create some gossip. I should have told you before we came here together.” She pressed her lips together and looked up to see Marisa was examining her napkins very carefully. “I just wanted to let you know. And you’d opened yourself up to me so much, I just...” She licked her lips. “I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No,” Marisa said quickly. “I’m glad you did. It’s just that I never thought about it. It’s not a big deal.”
“Are you sure? I could leave if--”
“Don’t.” Marisa took a drink of her coke. She wet her lips with her tongue, shifted in her seat. “You don’t have to worry about me telling anyone. If it’s a secret, you can trust me with it.”
“I know. That’s why I told you. And it goes without saying that your real name is...” She mimed locking her lips shut.
Marisa smiled weakly. “Thank you. So. Big night for both of us, huh?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Marisa checked her watch and groaned. “Okay, Andrew’s probably stalled for as long as he can manage. I should probably head back.”
Kim nodded. “Okay.”
“Thanks for this, Kim. You don’t know how long it’s been since I could just sit and talk with someone without a bunch of walls going up.”
“It was my pleasure.”
They had to go back through the restaurant to get to the parking lot, and in their absence, news of Marisa’s presence had spread. Every eye followed her through the room, conversations hushing as she moved. Kim hung back, still worried someone might try to connect the two of them in some tabloid scandal. One brave soul actually asked for a picture, and Marisa graciously posed with him while his friend snapped a shot on his cell phone. Marisa made a quick exit then, waving over her shoulder as she made a bee-line for the door.
The Jeep was parked under a streetlight, and it shone through the windshield like a spotlight when they got in. It reminded Kim of her one year in Drama class, trying to explore her artistic side by being an actor. One relatively tiny speaking role in Fiddler on the Roof revealed she had no passion for actually acting.
She reached for the ignition, but Marisa touched her hand and said, “Don’t go yet.”
“Okay.” Kim leaned back in the seat and they sat in silence for a long moment. “Want the radio?”
“No. Well. Sure.” She took off her sunglasses and hat, shaking her head to let her hair fall. It was mussed, caught in tangles, and it looked beautiful in the low light.
Kim twisted the key and the radio began to play. It was Iron and Wine, one of Kim’s favorites, and the music was soothing enough not to disturb their thoughts.
“Have you ever seen anything Andrew was in?”
“Sure,” Kim lied, rather than admit looking him and Marisa up on the internet.
“He always plays a badass. The tough guy, the muscle. He’s always the imposing villain. You saw him, I mean, he’s built for the role.”
Kim nodded, biting the inside of her cheek. She put her hands on the wheel, trying to steady her breathing. If you tell me he hits you, so help me...
“He has a reputation to protect. He’s worried if it got out that he was gay,” Kim’s eyes snapped open, “he would start losing jobs. It doesn’t matter how he looks or how good he acts, he’s afraid the director would pass on him because of the stigmata of being... I don’t know, too effeminate. Like that makes any sense, given how he looks. So he has protection.”
“You’re his beard?”
“Uh huh. And he’s mine.” She kept looking forward, her jaw set and her eyes focused on the street running in front of the restaurant.
“Yours?” She could barely think over the pounding of her heart.
Marisa smiled. “Half of my movies start with the summary ‘boy meets girl.’”
“It’s called acting.”
“It’s not that simple. Straight can play gay, but audiences aren’t as accepting with gay playing straight. I mean, it happens all the time. Aliens invade the world ever summer, sure, but directors don’t think audiences can suspend their disbelief long enough to watch a gay actress playing straight. But I just... it’s just easier.” She shook her head. “It’s just easier living up to expectations.”
Kim’s heart was beating a hectic rhythm against her ribs. “You’re gay. God.”
“I’m sorry. This is a lot bigger than telling you my real name. You cannot tell--”
“No, no one,” Kim said. “Trust me, I’m not going to tell anyone.”
Marisa nodded and looked down at her hands, folded primly in her lap. Kim let the radio play for a while, Sam Beam singing about a passing afternoon, time slipping through an hourglass, how short life was. Kim couldn’t get her brain to work right. Everything had been thrown into her lap at once, and now trying to make sense of it was going to drive her insane. Marisa was suddenly gay and single, and how could she possibly ignore the thing she had been hoping for since meeting her.
“Marisa,” she swallowed, suddenly nervous, and said, “Do you want to go out sometime? Get some... dinner? I mean, not... not like what we just... I meant...”
Marisa reached out and put her hand on top of Kim’s. Kim stared at Marisa’s fingers, the back of her hand, and licked her lips. Finally, Marisa said, “Yes. Sure.”
A smile didn’t seem to do justice to her feelings at that moment, but banging her fist against the top of the Jeep seemed tacky. She smiled, twisted the key in the ignition, and said, “Well. Maybe we can figure out a time when we’re both free.”
“Yeah,” Marisa said. She nodded again, confirming her acceptance, and said, “Yes. I can’t wait.”
Neither can I, Kim said as she backed out of the parking spot.
Chapter Fifteen
The party was still going on when they got back to Marisa’s, but a few cars seemed to have disappeared in the time they were gone. Kim parked much closer to the house than she had earlier and leaned back in the seat. Obviously Marisa wasn’t ready for their alone time to end, either, and settled into her seat as well. Kim reached down and turned down the radio, and then scanned until she found something quiet enough to not be distracting. They sat in silence, listening to the music, watching silhouettes move past the windows of Marisa’s home.
When the song gave way to a disc jockey, Marisa looked at Kim and said, “I didn’t want to say anything earlier because... well, because I’ve learned to bite my tongue. But I wanted to say that you look really beautiful tonight.”
Kim actually blushed. “Well, I wanted to make an impression.”
“You did.” She leaned across the console and put her hand on Kim’s left cheek. Kim felt the warmth of her fingers and held her breath as Marisa leaned in and lightly brushed her lips across Kim’s cheek. Just a chaste kiss, but the hand... the hand changed everything. It slid up into Kim’s hair, briefly cradling the back of her head before it and Marisa retreated. “Thank you for getting me out of there. You’re my hero.”
“Anything for a damsel in distress.”
Marisa smiled and opened the Jeep door. “Do you want to come in? I think Andrew is half in love with you already.”
“Nah. Andrew’s not the one I’m trying to woo.”
Marisa bit her bottom lip, ducked her chin, and laughed. Kim tried to cover her embarrassment. Did I just say ‘woo’?
“I’m sorry,” Marisa said. “I didn’t mean to laugh. That was a very sweet thing to say. I’ll keep it in mind.” She looked at the house and said with great sincerity, “Thank you for coming to my party.”
“It was my pleasure.”
Marisa got out of the Jeep and shut the door, waving one more time before she started up the driveway. Kim watched her go and collapsed forward, pillowing her head against her hands on the steering wheel, eyes closed, trying to convince herself that the moment had really just happened. Convinced it had, convinced that her life may have just taken a very dramatic shift to the better, she sat up and started the engine for the ride home.
***
Kim’s dreams were disjointed. Dark rooms at the top of strangely tall staircases, an Iron and Wine song playing as she floated on a tiny boat, and a quiet study where the din of music and conversation faded to one single voice. The dreams were filled with flashes of Marisa, her face and her eyes, the way she smiled and how she laughed. The firm touch of fingertips on her cheek and the fleeting moisture of a stolen kiss on the opposite cheek. The smell of perfume, unnoticed at the moment but vivid in her subconscious.
She woke a few minutes before her alarm went off with a smile on her face, staring up at the ceiling for a moment before she pushed back the blankets and sat up. She rested her arm across her knees and looked out the window. It was Sunday, and the video store downstairs was closed. The silence coming from below was comforting. She pushed her hair out of her face and finally rolled out of bed. She put on shorts and a T-shirt and went into the kitchen for breakfast.
Kim decided at the last minute to skip the cereal and decided to go all out. She chopped up some ham, cracked some eggs, and cooked an omelet. She felt so good that she hummed while she cooked, tapping her bare foot against the tile of the kitchen floor.
She’d asked Marisa Larkin out on a date.
More importantly, Marisa said yes.
Kim bit her bottom lip as she flipped the omelet. She remembered The Crisis when Tina dumped her. Days when she refused to leave her apartment, nights when she never turned on the lights, sitting in the window seat and staring out at the city and wondering how she could go on living. She had finally gotten back on her feet by promising herself a better time was coming. It had finally arrived. A little later than she would have liked, and there was a lot of pain to wade through, but now here she was. Hope was gleaming on the horizon.
She ate her omelet in the window seat, feet crossed at the ankle in front of her, and looked at the night before under the cold glare of reality. It would be a huge undertaking to be in a relationship with Marisa. First of all, combined they still had three out of four feet in the closet. Kim was semi-out, but she could never tell Mabel that she was dating a woman. And she would never threaten the cover Marisa had so carefully set up for herself. They would still have to work together day in and day out. That shouldn’t be too difficult; they were both professionals.
The guest house at Marisa’s was an option. She could spend some nights there, perfectly normal considering their budding friendship. And after lights out, if Marisa snuck across the lawn for a little rendezvous...
Kim blinked at her reflection in the window. She had spent so much time lusting for Marisa, and so much time celebrating the fact they were finally going to be together, she hadn’t stopped to think about the simple fact that they would most likely be having sex sometime in the future.
