Leaving clare, p.42
Leaving Clare, page 42
Edward started to laugh now, a hollow kind of laugh that didn’t reach his eyes. “Help me? You thought that by bringing me back to a country where I can’t even get a decent business up and running was helping me?”
“You were so unhappy, Edward. I heard everything you said on the phone – and I felt that you needed to get away to think things over.” Her voice dropped now. “And you needed to give Christopher and his wife time on their own.”
Edward stared at his mother. “You had no right to interfere! What you heard was not your business. If I’d wanted you to know, I would have told you. It is much too complicated and sensitive to involve other people.”
“I’m sorry you feel like that but I truly did it out of love and concern for you. I did it to help you.” She halted. “And I’ll continue to help you, Edward – if you’ll allow me – to find the path that will lead you to happiness and peace of mind. Whatever that path is – even if it means you and Christopher making some sort of life together – I’ll be there behind you.”
“I don’t need anyone’s help,” Edward said quietly and firmly.
Leonora nodded her head. “Whether you want my help or not,” she told him, “you will always have my love.”
* * *
Leonora did not phone Daniel Levy after the pale and grim-looking Edward left for the airport. There was nothing to say. All the careful rehearsals they had gone through had come to nothing and all Daniel’s theories about the situation had come to nothing.
Edward had clammed up and their relationship was now at its lowest point ever. And Leonora now felt that her ‘bull in a china-shop’ approach had quite possibly caused irreparable damage not only to her relationship with Edward but to the relationship he had with Jonathan and Diana as well.
Around five o’clock that evening when Leonora was expecting Edward to arrive with his guest, he phoned instead to say that they had decided to book into a hotel in the city centre instead.
“I didn’t want you worrying,” Edward said in a strained voice.
“Thank you for letting me know,” Leonora replied. “I hope you both have a nice evening.”
She asked no questions and she did not mention the meal that she and Mrs O’Shea had cooked, nor did she mention the bowl of strawberries that she had picked for Christopher Hennessey. She had quietly phoned Terry to tell her the meal was cancelled but when her artist friend began to gently probe as to the reason, she found herself saying she hadn’t time to chat and would ring back soon.
When Daniel Levy phoned later that night to check how things had gone and how Leonora was, she asked Mrs O’Shea to tell him that she had gone to bed with a slight headache and would contact him when she felt better. She hadn’t the heart or the energy to tell him that all the planning and rehearsing had failed quite miserably.
The thing she had feared most – an estrangement from Edward – had now happened
* * *
It was the following evening when Edward’s car pulled into the drive at Glenmore House. Leonora was around the side of the house, mindlessly deadheading roses. Anything that required more serious concentration was out of the question, as her head and stomach were out of sorts with all the anxiety. She had slept very badly, going over and over the row with Edward, wondering where she should have said something different.
Daniel had phoned twice already today and she had instructed Mrs O’Shea to tell him that she wasn’t at home. Mrs O’Shea had raised her eyebrows in disapproval and then tutted.
“Don’t look at me like that, Lizzie,” she had told the housekeeper. “He has expected me to work some kind of magic with the situation over Edward and I just can’t do it.”
Lizzie had put her hand on Leonora’s arm. “Edward and Christopher are the same boys that you used to love taking swimming and horse-riding,” she reminded her gently. “If you can just remember that. People don’t change that much – they’re still the same underneath it all.”
Then, just as Leonora was mulling over her sensible advice and beginning to feel a tiny bit better, the housekeeper added, “I have to remind myself of that constantly when I’m thinking about our Willie. He was a lovely young lad and as decent as you’ll find. Then look what happened to him.”
“Yes, thank you, Mrs O’Shea,” Leonora had said briskly, feeling no consolation whatsoever to have her son compared with the Scotswoman’s drunken, volatile brother.
When she heard the car tyres crunching on the grave outside the main entrance, Leonora took a deep breath, laid her gardening basket and secateurs down, and walked around the side of the building. She had no idea whether to expect Edward on his own or with his friend.
Edward stepped out of the car and gave her a wave and then Christopher Hennessey emerged from the passenger seat. As Leonora caught the reassuring glance that passed between her son and the tall, fair-headed, athletic-looking Christopher, she knew immediately that the relationship was stronger than ever.
She wondered if Edward had come home to patch things up or whether he had merely come to pack his things and disappear out of her life forever. The thought of it was too painful to bear.
Leonora went towards them, her heart lurching, trying to muster up something that looked like a smile of welcome.
“Mrs Bentley!” Christopher said, his tanned face lighting up when he saw her. “It’s lovely to see you!” He went to greet her with an outstretched hand but when they got closer the handshake developed into a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “You look wonderful,” he told her. “You haven’t changed a bit since I last saw you.”
Leonora was thrown off her guard with his effusive welcome. “You look exceptionally well yourself, Christopher,” she said quite truthfully. “How was your journey over?”
“Great,” he told her. “Some drama with a bit of turbulence as we were touching down in Dublin but nothing the pilot couldn’t handle.”
She looked over at Edward who was fiddling with his car keys, looking slightly awkward. When their eyes met she saw a look of pure vulnerability in his eyes and a wave of protectiveness shot through her. She went over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a hug and then put her arm through his. His whole demeanour was stiff and defensive but Leonora made herself act as though everything was perfectly normal.
“Are you ready to eat?” she asked in a hearty voice. “Mrs O’Shea has a lovely beef casserole ready to warm up in the oven.” Then, without waiting for an answer she said, “Come inside now and we’ll have some drinks.”
Mrs O’Shea gave both men an effusive welcome then rushed on down to the kitchen to put the finishing touches to the casserole she had made from the piece of beef she had cooked the day before. She was delighted that all the lovely food she had cooked for the cancelled meal could now be transformed into something equally as delicious. She absolutely abhorred waste and there was nothing she liked better than the challenge of making plain meat and vegetables into something else. She would sauté the cold boiled potatoes, make a nice white sauce for the cooked cauliflower and broccoli and add another glass of red wine to the simmering beef dish. With the help of some tiny new boiled potatoes and freshly picked peas, the meal would be even better than the one she had cooked the night before.
Leonora guided the men into the drawing-room where they both sat down on the sofa, then she went over to the drinks cabinet. “Whiskey, brandy, port or wine?” she asked. Then she thought. “Or perhaps I could make us all a nice cool Martini?”
Edward looked at his mother, his face anxious and grave. “Could we have a talk first?” he asked. “Before we all get too settled, Christopher and I think it might be best to sort a few things out.”
Leonora’s heart was thudding now as she came to sit in the chair next to the sofa.
“We’ve talked long and hard, Mother,” Edward started, “and we’ve come to the decision that no matter what happens – and no matter what other people think – we want to be together.” He reached over and took Christopher’s hand now and squeezed it.
Leonora felt her chest tighten as she saw the evidence of their feelings before her eyes. She looked from one to the other, unable to find the words to react to the declaration.
Sensing her difficulty with the situation, Christopher slid his hand out of Edward’s grasp. “Mrs Bentley,” he said in a low voice, “I know this is a very difficult thing for people to accept – especially a parent. We don’t want to hurt or embarrass anyone and in many ways it is the far easier route to pretend we’re just two ordinary professional men. But the fact is we’re not. We fall into a small minority group. It’s not a group either of us would choose to belong to but we have no option. Please believe me – we’ve fought against it ourselves.” He gave a deep sigh now. “As you know, in my attempts to live a normal life, I actually got married and I’m the father of a child.”
Leonora eventually found her voice again. “That’s a very big thing to walk away from, Christopher.”
“And I haven’t done it lightly,” he said. “I tried and tried to make it work . . .”
Edward intervened now. “The decision about Christopher’s marriage has been taken out of his hands. Theresa has left him.”
Leonora looked at Christopher. “When did this happen?”
“She decided to come back home to her family in Galway. We actually travelled over together with the baby.”
“And how are things between you?” Leonora asked.
“Much better than I could ever have hoped for. It turned out that she married me on the rebound from a broken romance, and really . . .” he cleared his throat, “in her eyes I didn’t compare to the previous fellow. She said she knew from the day we got married that it was the wrong thing to have done. Looking back, I suppose we were both just pretending – trying to replace what we truly wanted with something else.”
“How very sad,” Leonora said, both saddened and relieved at the news. “Especially for your little daughter.”
“I absolutely adore her,” Christopher said, “and I’ve promised to send money every month to help with her upbringing. Theresa has also said that I can see her any time that I’m over here, and when she’s old enough she can come out to America or wherever I am.”
“That’s very, very civil of her,” Leonora said. She halted for a moment. “Do you mind me asking if Theresa knows of the very close friendship between you and Edward?”
“I think so. She hasn’t asked outright about us but she has referred to it in a roundabout way. I think she prefers not to know any details of our relationship, so that she doesn’t have the awkwardness of explaining it to the rest of the family. She’s just going to say that it was an amicable split and that she hated living in America away from her family – which is true – and that I didn’t want to give up my career out there.”
“Well, her attitude must have certainly helped,” Leonora said. She had many questions that she wanted to ask – like whether they would stay in Ireland or go back to America – but she felt perhaps it wasn’t the right time. It would all come out in the fullness of time.
“There’s no doubt about it,” Christopher agreed, “it has lifted a huge burden off me. I don’t know if I would ever have got the courage up to walk out. Theresa is a wonderful woman and she knew that we both deserved to be happy with whoever made us happy.”
“Christopher has been very loyal,” Edward said, “and he was prepared to give up our friendship forever if it meant that his marriage might have worked.”
Leonora suddenly felt a great clarity about the situation. “But it wouldn’t have worked – and it wouldn’t have been the right thing,” she said quietly. “If you don’t love Theresa the way a husband should – and if you never can.”
“That’s what I realised some time ago,” Christopher said, “but it’s a very difficult thing to come to terms with. I know now I could never have those feelings for Theresa – or any other woman . . .” He looked over at Edward. “Yet for us it’s the most natural thing in the world. There’s no effort in it – there’s nothing to work at – it just feels right.”
Edward closed his eyes and nodded. “Being with Christopher is the only thing that will make me happy. I know it’s not what you or my father would have wanted for me – but it’s the way that’s right for me.”
And as she looked at the two men – so obviously meant to be with each other – Leonora suddenly knew without a doubt that it was the right thing.
So be it, she told herself.
She gave them both a beaming smile. “What did we decide about the Martinis?”
* * *
After dinner when Christopher was unpacking in his room, Edward came to his mother and put his arms around her. “Thank you,” he told her, “for being so understanding and open-minded about this situation.” Then, when she went to speak, he moved back and held his hands up. “I’m not expecting you to embrace our relationship or to say you approve or anything like that. I know it’s difficult and will continue to be difficult at times for all of us.”
“Oh, Edward . . .” Leonora said, tears coming into her eyes. “I just worry about you – how hard things might be at times, the way other people might treat you.”
“We’ll deal with it,” Edward said firmly. He paused. “I also want to say I’m sorry about the way I acted and spoke to you yesterday – you didn’t deserve it. I was just afraid of everything – meeting Christopher again, you finding out – everything was going around in my head and I just couldn’t cope. You’re a wonderful mother and you’ve always been there for me, all my life. Both you and Daddy.”
Leonora’s heart lurched at the mention of Andrew’s name.
“But the thing with Christopher and me was the only thing I kept from you. I honestly hoped it would go away – that we would grow out of it. But of course we haven’t.”
“I can see that . . .” Leonora gave a little sigh. “If many normal couples felt the way about each other, the way you two do – marriages would be so much happier.”
“Well,” Edward grinned, “you know what you’re talking about. That’s exactly the kind of marriage you and my father had. You must still miss him terribly . . .”
“Yes. I miss the way we were for so many years. I just wish it could have lasted for much longer.”
They chatted about more practical things then and Edward told Leonora that if she didn’t mind he was going to go back to America with Christopher the following week.
“We both know that we can’t live as a couple here,” Edward said quietly. “In certain areas in New York, no one will bat an eyelid at our relationship. We will be able to mix with other similar couples.” He gave a little shrug. “Of course we will have to be discreet at work and that sort of thing, but we’re not the flamboyant types who will be flaunting our lifestyle. We just want to go back and get our business and our lives back on track.”
“You’ll be working together again?” Leonora asked.
“Yes,” Edward said, his beaming smile giving away his obvious delight. “Hennessey and Bentley Architects, will be back in business again.”
* * *
Leonora organised another small dinner party for Edward and Christopher’s departure the following week. She invited Terry again and this time she invited Daniel Levy. Mrs O’Shea pushed the boat out and did a full Italian meal which she knew Edward loved. She had studied her Francesco’s Kitchen recipe book and decided she would do Bella Rosina Eggs to start with – it was simple enough with boiled eggs, mayonnaise and chopped parsley – then a large dish of lasagne for the main course, followed by a traditional Italian trifle.
On the evening, Daniel appeared with a fine bottle of wine and a beautiful bouquet of flowers. He leaned in close after giving Leonora a small, careful peck on the cheek and said, “I am so pleased that things have worked out for Edward and his friend – and for you.”
She brought him into the privacy of the drawing-room where they were all due to have drinks before the meal. “He doesn’t know that you know about his situation,” she said, suddenly worried that it could be blurted out during the meal.
Daniel touched his finger to his lips. “I will treat him exactly the same way I’ve always treated him.” Then he said. “If you find it difficult at times, Leonora, just remember that Edward bringing Christopher is the same as when Diana brought James or Jonathan brought Emily. You would be wary of invading their privacy or making assumptions about things. Really, it’s not that different.”
Leonora clasped her hands together. “I can’t bear the thought of them sharing a bed together . . .”
“And how do you feel when you think of Diana and James in bed together?”
Leonora stopped for a moment to think. “Quite uncomfortable . . .” she admitted.
Daniel smiled. “Exactly. It really is not that different when you think about it.”
Leonora was delighted that the dinner went off exceptionally well, with the vibrant, bejewelled Terry entertaining everyone with lots of outrageous stories from her travelling days. She had also thanked Edward profusely for work he had done on the plans for the extension to her cottage.
“It’s wonderful,” she told him. “I’ll be able to expand my art classes now and hang bigger canvases on the walls.” She then made a sweeping gesture with her arm towards Leonora, her rows of bangles clinking as she did so. “While I have such an appreciative audience, I would like to make an important announcement about this much-in-demand lady!”
Everyone looked at Leonora expectantly, while she looked totally bemused.
“I received a letter this morning,” Terry stated, “from people in Donegal asking if I could get in touch with the artist, Leonora Bentley, to commission a set of six paintings for their restaurant! They had been visiting friends and saw her lovely work on the wall and demanded a contact address.”
Leonora’s hand flew to her mouth. “No!” she said. “You must be joking.”
