Twilight time, p.15
Twilight Time, page 15
“I didn’t—”
“Yeah, you did. Daddy’s a world-famous surgeon; Mommy’s an attorney who can send you an associate from her firm the minute you get into the slightest legal trouble. That little story you told about the guy who set you up? Do you have any idea what would have happened to someone like me if I’d wound up in that police station?”
He waved her off. “Please. You’re an attractive woman. They probably would’ve let you off with a warning the minute you batted your pretty eyelashes their way.”
Derision erupted in a harsh laugh. “I knew it. I knew you couldn’t possibly be as ‘evolved,’” she framed the word with air quotes, “as you pretended to be last night. You know what talks louder than looks? Money. Money and power. You grew up with both, and you have no clue that the rest of us didn’t. You never had to worry about making rent or if you’ve got enough gas in your car to get you back and forth ‘til payday. Oh, I know. You told a really quaint fairy tale about how you were on your own in school and eating ramen to make ends meet. But take a good look at who you are and where you come from. At any given moment, you could’ve swallowed your pride and run back to your cushy life, never opened another package of noodles and that silver envelope of salty flavoring again. It’s not the same experience when you’re eating ramen because it’s all your mom can afford. Because your dad died somewhere you’ve never heard of in Indiana when his tractor-trailer jackknifed on an icy road. I didn’t have someone waiting to hand me a great job. And when that job ended, there wasn’t a trust fund I could dip into so I could take a bunch of time off to travel the country with no worry about unpaid bills or where I was going to live when I got back. I still have no clue where I’ll be once this trip is over. Most of us don’t get those kinds of chances once in our lives, much less two or three times. Most of us struggle and push the envelope to get an edge. We hustle. We work hard. We do things you may not approve of from your lofty throne of privilege. Because we’re not part of the good ol’ boys club. No matter how attractive we are.”
She got up from the table, pushed the lid down on her laptop, and leaned against the door leading outside. “So, go ahead. Judge me all you want. Pack up and leave me here if I’m such a horrible person to be around! The difference between you and me is that I’ll survive. No matter what you throw at me. I’ll bounce back. Because I know how. Because no one ever handed me anything. I’ve had to figure out stuff on my own. Something you’ve never done. When you first met me that night, you thought I was crazy. I know you did. Admit it.”
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. His arrogant expression spoke volumes and raised her hackles.
“I knew exactly what you were thinking in Leah’s driveway, how insane it must have seemed to you. I had all these different scenarios mapped out, depending upon any argument you might make to my coming along.” She held up one finger. “I could leave my car for Steph to pick up and sell.” Two fingers. “Stay in my car and follow you from place to place.” Three fingers. “Or hitch it to this RV and tow it along with us. Which, I might add, might’ve come in handy right now since you’re so tired of having to hook and unhook the RV every time we go somewhere. Think about it. If you’d been the slightest bit prepared for this adventure, you would’ve known how to use the hitch to take my wheels with us—or you might have brought your own. And we could’ve been using a car for our outings, leaving this beastie hooked up until we were ready to pull up stakes for the next stop on your itinerary. But you didn’t think of that, did you? You know why? Because you’ve never had to plot your life based on different scenarios. You’ve never had to plan for bad luck like getting laid off from your job or escaping your ex before the verbal abuse turns physical, knowing full well you can’t take your dog with you, the one creature in the whole world that loves you unconditionally, and you can’t take her...”
The words drifted away as the tears flowed and bitterness swamped her ability to form any rational thought.
She took a long, shuddering breath, though the piddliest bit of air reached her lungs over the tightness in her chest. “Go fishing,” she said. “Go to hell. I don’t care. I’m out.”
One quick slap on the handle, and she pushed her way out the door and into the woods outside, leaving him still seated at the table with his mouth agape. Good. Maybe he’d digest some of what she’d said. Her hiking shoes sank into the mud with every step, forcing her to lift her knees over and over to propel herself forward. She welcomed the effort, welcomed anything that helped her burn the excess energy blazing inside her.
“Maia!” His shout thundered through the foliage, startling the birds in the trees into flying to a quieter location. “Wait!”
Yeah, that was so not happening. She’d said everything she needed to say to his arrogant ass and didn’t regret a single syllable. Gone were the days where she’d bite her tongue to keep the peace. Nor would she listen to any sweet words of apology in the misguided hope that maybe, this time, he’d mean it.
Been there, done that. Men, she’d learned, could be fickle creatures when it came to promises.
“Maia! Come on!”
Nope. Spence could call her name ‘til he went hoarse. She wouldn’t go running back. They both needed time alone: her, to cool off, and him, to come to grips with all the truths she’d hurled at him. If she let this go, if she tried to carry on as if their argument was no big deal, he’d give her comments no more than a cursory pause before chalking up every word to her raging hormones. He’d dismiss it, dismiss her, with no self-reflection at all. And then they’d be caught in this same vicious cycle every time a disagreement reared its ugly head, with him thinking he had the upper hand because she was ruled by her emotions, and he was the “level-headed male.”
Teddy’s sneer invaded her head again.
Squawk! Squawk! Buckle your seatbelt. Don’t leave your shoes in the doorway. Could you please put the toilet seat down? Can you not use my clean kitchen table to clean your pot? God, you’re like a parrot! I heard you the first thousand times, you know. You don’t have to be a nag about this stuff. How come you never have anything nice to say to me? Why is it always how many ways I suck? I bought you that ice cream you like, and you never even thanked me. Admit it. You love that stupid dog more than you do me.
Truth be told, she did. Lily brought her joy, unconditional love, and loyalty. Teddy offered insults, the unending task of picking up after him, and simmering resentment. Oh! And her favorite ice cream in strawberry, the one flavor she was allergic to. A fact he knew well. She sometimes wondered if he’d bought that flavor intentionally, to make her sick on purpose.
That was when she’d realized she had to leave. If she couldn’t trust he wouldn’t intentionally harm her for his own amusement, why on earth was she staying with him?
“Maia!”
Ignoring Spence’s continual shouts, she strode the dirt path that cut between the pines and pin oaks. A ribbon of silver glimmered through the needles and fresh, green leaves. The lake Spence had mentioned. As if hypnotized by the lure of the water, she steered her racing feet toward the beach.
Funny. While growing up in the middle of the country, landlocked on all sides, she’d never realized the power of water to create peace and calm in the most restless soul. But since her move to Long Island, a place where there was a shoreline within a short drive no matter where you stood, she couldn’t count the number of times she’d fled to the nearest beach, marina, or canal to soothe her chaotic mind.
As she reached the clearing at the water’s edge, she was disappointed to find her hope for solitude dashed. An elderly couple, seated in camp chairs in front of a canoe, rigged fishing lines to poles. They nodded in greeting at her arrival.
“Good morning,” the slender gentleman said.
“Morning,” she replied and hurried to put some distance between them. Finding a picnic table a few yards away, she sank onto the bench and pulled her phone from her pocket. Her mind still buzzed with snippets of her argument with Spence as she stared blankly at her screen, focusing on nothing over his recriminations echoing in her skull.
We’re here to help Lily. You remember Lily, don’t you? You know, the dog you suddenly couldn’t live without after living without her for several years? I didn’t allow you to accompany us on this trip for click bait...
Was she using Lily’s illness to get viewers? No. Of course not. Lily was sweet and cute and so smart. People loved animals in videos. It made sense for her to record her dog’s antics and—
She fumbled the phone in her hand. Ohmigod, she was using Lily! What on earth had she been thinking?
Another thought tagged itself to the end of her self-chastisement. Ironically, her most popular post—the one that went viral—didn’t even include Lily. She gained the most views simply by being herself, and okay, maybe with some help from Spence’s generous soul.
How could she have been so blind? So short-sighted? Why did she think focusing on Lily would get anyone interested enough to hire her?
Her talent had always been in getting the human-interest stories and mining the banal for the golden nuggets others held close to the vest.
She stole a glance at the older couple, laughing together as they prepared to take their canoe out onto the lake. I bet they have a story or two to share.
Mind made up, she left the picnic table and strode toward them, a welcoming smile on her face. By now, they’d both left their chairs. While he stowed gear in the canoe, she stood at the water’s edge, her hands on her hips, overseeing the placement of cooler and gear.
Maia greeted them with more openness this time and introduced herself. “I’m currently on a cross-country trip, and I’m recording my adventures and interactions. Would you two mind if I interviewed you?”
“Interview us?” The woman scratched her head. “About what?”
“I don’t know for sure,” she confessed. “Just life in general. We’ll talk for a bit, three people getting to know one another. If you don’t like what I record, you don’t have to sign a release and I promise I won’t use it. Legally I wouldn’t be able to. What do you say?”
The man straightened and stared at her, his brow furrowed with worry. “Well, I don’t know...”
“Oh, don’t be such a stick in the mud, Earl,” the woman said with a wide grin and cheeks flushed with pleasure. “I think having a little morning chat would be a much better use of our time.” She placed the side of one hand to her lips as if revealing a secret. “Truth is, I hate fishing. If you can give me a stay of execution for an hour or so, I’ll answer any questions you got.”
“You don’t like fishing but you sure love eating the fresh fish we pull in,” the man retorted.
“Ha!” she cackled. “You got me there, honey bun.” She returned her focus to Maia and pointed to the two empty chairs. “Here. Let’s sit for a bit. My name’s Sophia, and that’s Earl.”
Maia turned on her camera and focused on Sophia. “Where are you from?”
“Originally? Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Earl worked in engineering at a major pharmaceutical firm. Between his job and the kids, we never had the chance to see much of the nation while we were younger. The best we ever did for our vacations was take a week or two down at the Jersey shore, and once, a trip to DisneyWorld. So, once he retired eight years ago, I said, ‘Earl, I want to see the country.’ We bought ourselves an RV and have been permanent travelers ever since.”
“That sounds exciting,” Maia remarked.
She shrugged. “It has its moments. Like the time we got stuck near Estes Park. We got a flat tire on some dirt road, miles from civilization. The tow truck company couldn’t even find us. Then, when they finally did, four hours after we first called, mind you, by the time they got our RV to a repair shop, the mechanics were all gone for the day. We wound up sleeping in some creepy motel within walking distance, and I swear I heard someone jiggling the doorknob late at night. I thought we were goners, for sure. Remember that night, Earl?”
Her husband pulled the canoe up farther onto the beach and stood beside his wife, one hand placed protectively on her shoulder. “It wasn’t so bad. Sophia always thinks we’re gonna be goners.”
“Like I said, living in an RV full-time has its moments. Sometimes I miss the easier tasks of living in a home, like the smell of freshly mown grass—”
“That’s ‘cuz you’re not the one who has to mow it.”
“You wouldn’t have to either, Earl. We could hire a landscaper to take care of the lawn.”
“And to rake the leaves in the fall and to shovel the snow in the winter.” He shook a playful finger at his wife. “You talked me into this crazy life, and now you’ll never get me back to those cold east coast seasons.”
“How long have you two been married?”
Sophia reached up to take Earl’s hand, kissed the palm, and placed it back on her shoulder again. “Fifty-three years this coming July.”
“Wow. Congratulations. What would you say is the secret to staying together?” She was fishing for something, anything that might make these two fascinating enough for her viewers.
“Not getting a divorce,” Earl said with absolutely no humor.
“Are you married, Maia?” Sophia asked.
“Umm... no. Not anymore.”
“See? That’s what I’m talking about,” Earl said. “Young people today have no stick-to-itiveness. It’s easier to file for divorce than stay and work things out. With a divorce, you don’t have to do any self-reflection, figure out maybe you were wrong, or even if you were right, devise a compromise and give a little. You walk away, your ex-spouse stays a villain in your eyes and the eyes of your friends and family, and you never have to admit to any fault on your part. All this nonsense about growing apart... Bah! You’re not growing at all if you’re constantly running away from each other, instead of learning from each other.”
The ex-wife in her wanted to bite back, to ask him how she was expected to grow when married to a man who did nothing but cut her down. Thank God the journalist in her remained mute to his well-meaning but misguided commentary because, if she’d opened her mouth, she never would’ve received the gift that came next from Sophia.
“I blame our generation for that,” she said with a deep sigh.
“What do you mean?” Maia asked.
“As mothers, we kept telling our daughters they could have more than we had. They could have it all: the husband, kids, a career of their own. Meanwhile, we still kept treating our sons like they were all the ‘prince with the golden penis.’ We didn’t teach them to be real partners for the women they’d marry. So, the women of the next generation burned themselves out trying to attain the goals we’d promised them were within reach. In reality though, for most of them, those dreams were impossible to achieve without a strong support system around them. That’s where we failed them. We’d prepared the girls but forgot about the boys. Our poor daughters extended themselves too far, and when they eventually fell, there was no safety net to catch them.”
“There you go again,” Earl muttered. “Blaming yourself for Lisa’s mistakes.”
“Lisa’s our daughter,” Sophia mentioned, no doubt for Maia’s benefit.
“Our twice-divorced daughter,” Earl clarified. “Divorced twice, with one daughter of her own. At least, Carrie seems to be on her way to stable adulthood, despite the poor example her mother set for her.”
“Lisa’s a good mother, an excellent mother, I’d say. Did she make mistakes? Of course, she did. We all do. Motherhood doesn’t come with a book of instructions. But I still say a lot of what went wrong in Lisa’s marriages was my fault. Mine and other mothers like me. Do you know, out of all our daughter’s friends, only one of them,” she held up her index finger, “who married in her twenties is still married to that same man? And they had no children. I think that was one of the keys to their success.”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Earl said. “Society made it too easy for couples to divorce, with or without kids. Nowadays, they don’t have to work things out or even try hard to find a compromise. Everybody just gives up and walks away.”
Sophia shook her head. “You don’t understand, Earl. I doubt you ever will. We did that to them. The mothers, I mean. We meant well, but we were so wrong. We told them they could jump across the gender gap, but we forgot to warn them about the old boys’ club they’d have to contend with first. This newer generation, though, they’ve got it together. My granddaughter is a lawyer. Her husband is a psychologist with an office in their house. While Carrie is in court or working on her next case, Robert is there to make sure the kids get on the school bus in the morning and off the bus every afternoon. They take turns cooking dinner, split the household chores, and see each other as true equals in their marriage.”
“Yeah, so?” Earl retorted. “That just means Carrie chose a better husband for herself instead of that selfish, lazy idiot who fathered her. Lisa made her own bed and had to lie in it. For whatever reason, Lisa didn’t value herself enough to choose a man who’d value her. Twice. That wasn’t our doing.”
“Perhaps not entirely. But we did play a role. I know I did. Our daughter was one of those overextended moms who got sold a diamond and then found out her shiny bauble was cubic zirconia. But our daughters learned from our mistakes. Whether through sheer exhaustion or because they knew what kept them from fully achieving the dreams we promised them, our daughter’s generation saw where we’d fallen short in our parenting and taught their boys to share the responsibility for domestic tasks. These days, men are more involved as parents, more hands-on for household chores, and they don’t take it as a sign they’re pussies if they cook dinner or change a diaper. I doubt our son ever changed his baby’s diapers. God knows you never did. Progress comes in increments, not all at once. I think, as the men continue to evolve, marriages and partnerships will flourish again, and divorces will decrease. Don’t get me wrong. Divorce will always be around. Sometimes, two people are toxic to each other, or one partner is downright cruel, or they just can’t live together for some reason. No one should ever spend a lifetime in misery because the person they married turned out to be different than they anticipated.”
