Reign of fear, p.17
Reign of Fear, page 17
“What makes you think that Lucas?”
His eyes are downcast, staring at his sandals. But I need to drag the rest of the story out of him, so I shove my concern and fear deep down.
“Come on. Tell me. Why do you think your dad and I are splitting up?”
He looks up at me. “We heard you and Dad arguing about Mrs. Saxena.”
My puzzled frown confuses him, so he adds, “That night when you sent Alexis to her room for asking about Mrs. Saxena coming to our house for dinner. After Alexis went upstairs and you and Dad went into your office, Blake and I followed.”
I stay silent, giving him the opportunity to get everything out without interruption before he loses his nerve. “I know we weren’t supposed to eavesdrop, but I’ve never seen you so upset. I never liked Mrs. Saxena since we met in London. When you and Dad argued about her, I knew for sure she was bad news.”
“Oh, Lucas.” I pull him into my arms and hug him tight. What he fears is a real possibility. But I must reassure my boy. I suspect all three of my kids are in on this little fact-finding mission. Since Lucas is the eldest, he was nominated to take the lead. I adore the fact that my kids are close, but them wondering whether their world is about so fall apart is hard to swallow.
I say, “Yes, your dad and I had a disagreement about Mrs. Saxena, but it’s nothing for you or your siblings to worry about. It was a misunderstanding, and your dad and I worked it out.”
“Alexis said Mrs. Saxena has a thing for Dad. She was totally crushing on him.”
Having precocious kids was both a blessing and a curse. I imagine they all sat around in Lucas’s room one day discussing this very topic at nauseum. Running into Kristina in London. The eavesdropping and what they heard through the door. Alexis riling up her brothers, convincing them Kristina is a bad person. All three kids sharing their fears about possible divorce.
“Your dad and I are great,” I say, releasing him from the hug. “Tell your brother and sister they don’t need to worry about Mrs. Saxena. She is a non-issue.” I promised myself I wouldn’t lie to my boy, yet here I am. Lying.
“Are you sure, or are you just saying that so we don’t freak out?” Lucas’s cool gaze bores into me. It’s as if he can see into my soul and has deduced that I can’t offer guarantees of any kind.
The sound of laughter from the patio drifts into the kitchen. My mother appears, saving me from telling more lies.
“Everything okay in here?” Mom asks, looking from Lucas to me.
“Yes, everything is fine. Lucas just had a question.” Lucas picks up on his queue to leave and joins his siblings and cousins on the patio.
My mother says, “So, what’s really going on?”
“Nothing is going on, Mom.”
“Then why did my grandbaby just walk out of here like his world is falling apart?”
“You know Lucas is intense. Everything with him is either right or wrong, black or white. He doesn’t play well in the gray areas.”
“Care to enlighten me on these gray areas?”
I sigh. “Lucas wanted to know if Ty and I are okay because he and Blake overheard us discussing Kristina. I assured him everything is fine, and hopefully, he’ll relay the news to his siblings.”
“Is that true?”
“Is what true?”
“Are you and Ty okay?”
“Why wouldn’t we be?”
“You’re evading. I picked up on some weird vibes just now on the patio.”
“What do you mean?”
“Christian and Ty. There’s an undercurrent of tension I’ve never seen before. They get along, but something’s changed. They’re careful to stay at opposite sides of the backyard, away from each other.”
Christian can’t look Ty in the face after what we’ve done, and my husband’s suspicion radar is shouting a code red at him.
“I wouldn’t read too much into it. Being on opposite sides of the backyard is not evidence that something is wrong. As for the tension, you know Ty is under a lot of pressure to make a go of the start-up.
“Christian has his own drama with his father, Levitron-Blair, and his girlfriend, who isn’t speaking to him. Just your everyday stress.”
“What did Christian do? Why is his girlfriend not speaking to him?”
Interesting that Mom picks up on this one detail. Despite the fact that I’m an adult with children of my own, my mother’s instincts when it comes to me are still razor-sharp.
“Mom, all relationships have ups and downs. They’ve been together a while, and Christian hasn’t proposed. Sam is getting impatient. I don’t blame her.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“What?”
“Why hasn’t he proposed to Sam? You and Christian are close, so he must have said something.”
“I don’t pry into the man’s private life, Mom. I got my own issues. It’s his business whether or not he wants to propose. It has nothing to do with me or our friendship.”
Mom crosses the space between us, gets right in my face, and says, “You’re playing with fire, Abbie. The family you and Ty created together is precious and worth protecting, no matter what.”
“Mom, what are you—”
She cuts me off. “I always suspected you and Christian Wheeler had unfinished business. I hope for your sake, your family’s sake, that I’m dead wrong.”
CHAPTER 50
TY
Where did Cooper disappear to? Ty grabbed an ice-cold, bottled water from the cooler, twisted off the cap, and took a long gulp. What a perfect day to celebrate Lucas. It was the end of June, the brilliant afternoon sun caressing every inch of the backyard, making the space glow.
A light breeze fluttered the leaves on the trees and the blooms of the abundant flowers Cooper had so lovingly tended to. The air was resonant with the laughter and the chatter of family and friends, feasting and socializing.
Lucas, Blake, Alexis, their cousins, and friends were caught up in the old schoolyard game of T-A-P-S. One of the boys was doing pushups. His team lost. Yet, despite the glowing portrait of domestic perfection, an icy chill seeped through Ty.
Perhaps he should get rid of the cold bottle. He kept his eyes peeled on the door that led from the kitchen to the patio. It wasn’t like Cooper to leave her guests for long stretches, especially on such an exciting day for the Rambally family.
The icy chill returned when Ty spotted Christian talking to Cooper. Their body language was off. Their facial expressions were off. Cooper took two steps backward as though she didn’t want to be near Christian.
Christian’s hands were at his sides, balled into nervous fists. Cooper said something, and Christian snapped his gaze away. Then Christian moved past her and disappeared from view. Cooper looked shaken.
Ty began moving in Cooper’s direction to find out what was going on, but his mother-in-law intercepted him.
“What’s going on between you, Abbie, and Christian?” Shelby asked, her voice low. “Christian just left in a hurry. Abbie looks like her world is about to collapse. I asked her earlier how things were, and she said fine. What I’m witnessing is the exact opposite of fine. What’s going on around here, Ty?”
“I’d like the answer to that question myself.”
Shelby had always been an intuitive woman, and if she was picking up on the weird vibes too, something was afoot, Ty reasoned.
Cooper had been acting strange ever since they returned from Jamaica. Well, before that, when she had a meltdown during their vow renewal, a meltdown that still bothered him.
After they returned home, Ty told her to leave it alone, her interest in the investigation into Savannah Davis Patterson’s death. Knowing Cooper, she probably did some more research and tried to keep up with the investigation. Despite knowing this, her recent behavior was a distress signal Ty could no longer ignore.
“Looks like you and Abbie need to sit down for a heart-to-heart,” Shelby said.
Ty’s phone chimed with an incoming text. Saved by the bell.
Grabbing the phone from his shirt pocket, he said, “Excuse me,” and turned away from Shelby to look at the message.
Followed by a photo of Cooper and Christian on a park bench, holding hands.
CHAPTER 51
TY
Shock and disbelief exploded in his chest, robbing him of breath. His legs became shaky twigs that could snap under his weight. Ty stared blankly at the screen, but the image was still there, his wife and Christian.
“Ty, what is it?” Shelby asked. She sounded distant. A scream sliced through the fog in his brain but never made it out of his mouth.
He snapped out of the daze when Alexis said, “What’s wrong, Daddy? Is it bad news?”
Ty didn’t know how he made it to his home office. He must have made some excuse to his stunned daughter and mother-in-law. Once he checked that the door was securely locked, he collapsed against it.
It took several minutes to get his racing heart and labored breathing under control. Only then did he stand, testing out his legs to see whether they could support him.
After he walked over to his desk, he placed the phone down and picked up the three gray ball bearings. Ty rolled them over in his hand repeatedly, a ritual to calm his raw, aching nerves that had just been yanked from their rightful place.
The text explained everything, why Cooper and Christian were so distant with each other. Why Cooper had been nervous over the past weeks, why she freaked out during the vows in Jamaica. She knew she had betrayed him with Christian.
Ty plopped down into the black leather swivel chair, lost in a sea of grief and incredulity. How could the love of this life do this to him? The woman he pledged his forever to. The woman who stood next to him in Montego Bay and recited similar vows. How could she, knowing what she had done?
It didn’t sound like his Cooper at all. His Cooper was not a deceitful woman, a liar, a cheater. That was one of the things he’d loved best about her from the very beginning. She was straightforward, honest, no games, no agenda.
What had he missed? How long had the affair been going on? When did it start?
When Ty thought about Christian Wheeler’s hands all over his Cooper’s body, he retched and then forced the image to dissolve from his mind’s eye.
Who sent him the text and why? How did the sender know Cooper was unfaithful, found proof, yet Ty was clueless? Sure, he suspected Christian still had feelings for Cooper and didn’t want her so entangled in his life, but never did he think they were having an affair.
Was this his fault? Should he have insisted Cooper cut all ties with Christian after he and Cooper were married? But at the time of their marriage, there was no reason to worry, no reason to insist that she cut ties with Christian.
Obviously, that was a mistake. How could he have known he needed to explicitly verbalize there was a line that neither Cooper nor Cristian should cross? He thought it was understood. Blinding rage took over once more. Ty didn’t know who he should blame. How could Cooper jeopardize their marriage? How could she have been so weak?
What drove her to do this? Ty had a million questions and no answers. The text came from an unknown sender. At first, he thought Kristina sent the incriminating text. But Kristina would take any opportunity to diminish Cooper, make the case that Ty married the wrong woman. No, Kristina wouldn’t hide. She would flaunt what she had discovered to Ty’s face, not cower behind an anonymous text.
So who then? Who dropped a bomb on his marriage?
Ty was in no state of mind to learn the grisly details, get answers, but he didn’t care. Cooper would answer to him that very night.
CHAPTER 52
ABBIE
He knows. Ty stands in the corner of our bedroom, near the window, hands shoved into his pockets. Dressed in the blue jeans and the white, long-sleeved linen shirt he wore earlier, he glares at me without blinking. A cold darkness crosses over his usually luminous eyes, as though someone turned off the lights.
The graduation party was a success. Lucas is at his friend Liam’s house for a sleepover. The twins, Blake and Alexis, went home with my brother Lee and his family. The eerie silence of the room frightens me. It’s time to face the music—no buffer, no place to hide, no one to interrupt.
“How long have you and Christian been making a fool of me, Cooper?” he asks, blinking, finally.
I could play dumb, give him a chance to get more specific so I know what I’m dealing with, but I can’t. It’s bad enough what I did; there’s no point in antagonizing or disrespecting him any further. On the other hand, I don’t want him to think that I knew this could come out eventually but had never said a word, never confessed.
“Make a fool of you how, Ty?” My voice is but a squeak. I stand, leaning up against the dresser for support. I’m thankful for the massive size of our bedroom, which provides some distance from his wrath.
He follows up with another question. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
Complicated question. It happened a year ago, and I said nothing. If I now claim I planned to tell him, he’ll know it’s a bald-faced lie.
“I told myself it was one mistake, a moment of weakness. One lapse in judgment in almost fifteen years of marriage, never to be repeated. When I weighed my mistake against what I stood to lose, I chose my family and tried to pretend it never happened.”
“And how did you pretend it never happened when you were still communicating with him regularly?”
“That was part of the pretense, I suppose. Pretending we were just friends, the way it had been before.”
“So when did this one-time lapse in judgment, roll in the hay, occur?” he asks. His tone drips with venom.
“Last year, at his apartment.”
“Last year when?”
“The night before I flew home from the International Cognitive Neuroscience Conference. He invited me to dinner.”
“Were all the restaurants in New York closed that night?”
“No. I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of a busy New York restaurant after an exhausting few days at the conference. So I accepted the invitation when it was extended.”
Ty begins pacing, arms folded, his cold gaze never leaving my face.
“Hmm. You were so exhausted from the conference, yet you found the time and energy to head to Christian’s penthouse, eat dinner, and have sex with him? Seems that you weren’t as exhausted as you thought.”
I could just die now. I cringe at his words as humiliation washes over me. I hang my head, unable to meet his accusing glare. Silence spools out over the room as neither one of us says anything. But I must face his unblinking judgment if I am to pick up the pieces and stitch my marriage back together again.
“It wasn’t like that at all.”
“Then tell me, Cooper. What was it like?”
“We didn’t plan—”
Ty holds up a hand, interrupting me. “Don’t say it. Please don’t say it just happened because we both know that’s a lie. An opportunity presented itself, and you both acted on it. I warned you, Cooper.”
He jabs a finger in my direction. “I told you Christian still had feelings for you. We fought about his impromptu lunch visit, a visit you deliberately failed to mention.”
The pain of my betrayal is stamped all over his face, but he keeps firing. I don’t bother to deflect the bullets coming at me.
“You offered reassurances that you were being a supportive friend, nothing more. Was it worth it, Cooper?” he asks. “Did you finally scratch the Christian itch that had been following you around for years? Is it out of your system now, or do you wish Yale never happened and you had married him instead of me?”
Silence envelopes us once more, the air in our bedroom bloated with pain and anger. What a grotesque thing to say. It’s not even close to the truth. How could he think such a thing? Yale sped up the inevitable. There was never a doubt in my mind that Ty and I would end up together eventually.
“How dare you say that to me, Ty?” I croak. My eyes are now slick with tears, silently beseeching him to take it all back, every ugly, heinous syllable. His expression is haunted, lost, as though he doesn’t understand what he just said or its impact.
“Because I made one mistake, all of a sudden, you devalue what we’ve built, what we mean to each other?”
I’m in a full-on meltdown now, and strangely, I’m rambling without pausing to catch my breath. “For all the storms that raged against us, the battles that almost took us down, yet somehow, we’re still standing. That means nothing to you?
“Because I was weak, and stupid, and overwhelmed. I didn’t think anyone understood, I didn’t have the right to complain, I didn’t want to burden you, I was losing my mind, and I didn’t know how to stop myself from crashing…”
I’m breathing too fast, and my heart beats wildly in my chest. Lightheadedness kicks in, and I’m convinced I’m going to black out. I land on the floor like a ton of bricks because I don’t have the strength to do it gracefully.
Ty crosses the space and comes to kneel in front of me.
“Breathe through pursed lips, Cooper. Pretend you’re whistling,” he says, his voice strangled. My head rests against the edge of the dresser.
“That’s good,” he says after several seconds. “Now slow down your breathing. Take one breath every five seconds. I’ll count.”
He does, and my breathing slowly returns to normal. “I’m sorry, Ty. More than you will ever know. I regret hurting you. Keeping it a secret was my way of protecting us, self-serving as it sounds. I thought if I confessed, it would be the end of us.”
I remind myself to breathe in and out. Round two of my meltdown is circling, but I need to speak from the heart, clearly and honestly.
