Apocalypse game, p.24
Apocalypse Game, page 24
I thought I could destroy the world without getting my own hands dirty. And that made me a fool.
I sat for hours and slowly came to terms with my actions. It came easier than I thought. A part of me understood the righteousness of their deaths, that they all deserved their fates. That fact comforted me and took away most of the guilt in my heart.
But it didn’t disappear completely. Nor should it.
I needed to feel the weight of it, or else I really would be a monster, but I wasn’t going to sit here any longer and feel sorry for what I’d done.
I would do it again to save her, to save anyone in that situation.
It was a comforting bit of knowledge, and it helped to get me off my ass.
The first thing I did was pull up my stats. I’d leveled up, and sitting on the stats wasn’t a smart idea.
When I did the math, I figured out that each human I killed was worth forty-two experience points.
Well, it looks like murder is the answer to everything.
I snorted and laughed because I had to. I had to laugh, or I would lose it all over again.
As I waved away the results of my slaughter, I focused on my status.
Character Page
Name: Killian Dunn
Race: Human
Class: Demon Lord (King)
Health: 450/450 (495)
Mana: 500/500
Stamina: 350/350
Level: 11
Exp: 945/1286
15 Stat Points Available!
I flicked over to my stats and added five to Agility, five to Endurance to bring it up, and five to Charisma to keep gaining that experience boost.
Stat Page
Strength: 35
Constitution: 25
Perception: 20
Endurance: 20
Agility: 30
Wisdom: 30
Charisma: 30
By the time I was done, my body ached. Soreness had long set in from staying in one position for so long, and my stomach was screaming at me.
Let’s go check on everyone and get some food.
I walked back up to the cabin slowly, letting my muscles work out the tightness.
Inside, I found Adeline in the rocking chair by the couch. She’d tied her blue hair back in a ponytail and had changed clothes. She wore one of Omar’s shirts that was a little too big on her. She checked on the girl while Finn banged around in the kitchen, cooking something.
“Smells good,” I said as I walked in.
Adeline looked up at my voice, and her face softened. “Killian…” she trailed off.
“I’m fine, I promise. I just needed some time to myself.”
She got up from the chair and crossed the room, wrapping me in a tight hug. Her hands clung to my neck tightly as she squeezed. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have put that burden entirely on yourself.”
I shook my head as I pulled back. “Better me than you.”
“That’s not how this works, Kill. We’re a team, and more than that, we’re friends.” She paused when I frowned. “And we are friends, Killian. I know we had a rocky start, but you’re stuck with me now.”
Adeline flashed me a wide smile as Finn came around the corner.
“Me too, Hermano. We’re not going anywhere.”
“Thanks, guys. I’m sorry. I’m just having a hard time trusting people these days.”
“Yeah, and you think we aren’t?” Adeline said as she punched me in the arm. “But the two of us aren’t people. We’re the Demon Lord’s minions.”
Finn rounded the corner again, this time with pasta sauce on his cheek and a sauce-stained ladle in his hands. “Nope, you’re a minion. I’m still just an underling.”
I laughed, and it helped ease so much of the lingering tension in my chest. “Fine, you can be a minion too.”
He pumped his fist in the air. “Success!”
“How’s the girl?” I asked.
Adeline glanced over at her. She was sleeping deeply with a thick quilt over her. “She’ll live. Her Mantles regeneration took care of the wounds, though a little food and water probably wouldn’t hurt either. But beyond that…I just don’t know.”
I sighed, but it was the best I could hope for.
Maybe some rest will do her body some good, but Adeline is right. She might never be the same after.
Rage welled in my heart again, and I had to walk away, or I wouldn’t have been able to stop it from consuming me again.
My rumbling stomach chose that moment to growl, and food was the best way to take my mind off things.
I went into the kitchen to see what Finn was whipping up. It looked like some sort of pasta with tomato sauce and frozen deer meat that had been left in the deep freezer.
“Spaghetti?” I asked.
Finn smiled. “Redneck rigatoni, best I could do with what I had.”
He went back to cooking, and twenty minutes later, we were all around the table eating. It was good; the pasta was cooked perfectly, and Finn had seasoned the meat and sauce enough that it was tangy and delicious.
It filled the screaming void that was my stomach, and we talked and joked together while we ate. For a moment, it was just the three of us, and we could all pretend everything was right with the world.
When dinner was over, we covered the leftovers for when the girl woke up, and we called it a night.
I took a brief shower in the master bedroom and dressed in more casual clothing.
There were two bedrooms in the cabin, and I let Finn and Adeline have the master while I took Omar’s. I didn’t go to bed right away. I stayed and sat on the love seat and watched over the girl for a while. She was dead to the world, and I doubted a thunderstorm would have woken her.
I knew that sleep would elude me for some time, and staring at the girl only stoked my fury. I grabbed my pistol and threw on my coat. Shutting the door as softly as I could, I headed back down to the docks for some peace and quiet. The night air was frigid and caught my breath as I stepped out, but I ignored it and kept walking.
The pond was still, but the occasional gust of wind sent dead leaves spiraling to shatter the placid water. I dropped back down almost in the exact spot I’d been a few hours previously. Though I was less conflicted, the radiant night sky had a way of drawing out my melancholy.
A ruffling of fabric blown about in the wind behind me alerted me to her presence.
“Good evening, Death,” I said with a smile.
“Good evening, Killian.” She lowered down to wrap her arms around my neck. “I’m sorry for what you had to do today. It’s left a mark on your soul, hasn’t it?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. She came around and sat beside me, laying her head on my shoulder.
“My words can’t erase the pain you feel, but I can try to ease some of your burdens. You did the right thing. Death clung to that place like a beacon of misery. That girl is not the first to have suffered in that place. Many endured what she did, only to be slaughtered and cast into shallow graves. Their souls were tortured, haunted as they entered my domain.
“You saved her and many more from suffering the same gruesome fate.”
“Still, doesn’t change that I’m a killer.”
“You were always fated to be a killer, but that doesn’t make you a murderer.” Death smiled at me. It was a warm smile that banished my darkness. “Your kind have perfected the art of justification. You can and will justify any number of atrocities you commit and proclaim them noble and just, for nothing but the sake of satisfying your weak hearts. The men you killed easily justified their actions too. But no action has ever been more justified than your removing them from this plane of existence.
“That was true justice.”
Her words chipped away at the dark sliver I’d shoved in my soul and soothed my mind. I smiled at her and took her hand that rested on my lap.
“Thank you.”
She squeezed my hand and leaned over to press her lips to my cheek. “You’re more than welcome.”
A stiff breeze rolled in from the lake and sent shivers up my spine. “It’s cold. Would you like to come inside?”
“I’d like that very much.”
I stood and helped her to her feet, and we walked, hand in hand, back to the cabin. I didn’t want to talk to her and wake up the sleeping girl, so I took Death to the bedroom.
It was smaller than it had been when Omar and I were kids, but that was because I had grown up. The full-sized bed had been replaced with a queen, but the thick wool comforter was nearly identical to back then.
The rest of the room was sparse, with only a handmade wooden dresser and nightstand. The large bay window on the opposite end of the wall had an unobstructed view of the moon as it bathed the dark room in muted blue light.
“The view is beautiful in here.”
“Yeah.” I went to the window and opened it just a crack to let a little cold air in. “When Omar and I were little, we’d lay at the foot of the bed for hours, imagining we were spacemen, flying through the stars, going on missions. You know, kid stuff.”
“You must miss them.”
“Very much. Though I’m glad they don’t have to go through this. That’s the only comfort I have.”
Death came over and wound her arm through mine. Despite everything that had happened between us and me still knowing very little about her, her mere touch calmed me, and I enjoyed it. We stayed that way for a while, just staring at the moon, lost in our thoughts.
“I don’t like how we ended things yesterday,” she said.
“Yeah. Me too, I guess. But it’s not like I don’t know Callisto is using me. He’s leading me like a puppet on strings.” I glanced at her. “But I don’t need a second puppeteer adding even more strings.”
She nodded. “I understand. I was only trying to cut a few of those strings to help. It may not have been fair of me to try and speak on your behalf, but as I told you before. This is a dangerous game Callisto is playing, more than you know. And it could doom even the immortals.”
Her words brought back something Callisto had said, and I didn’t understand what it meant. I figured Death would be more forthcoming.
“Because of the Watchers?” I asked.
As soon as it left my mouth, Death’s eyes grew dark.
“Damn him!” she cursed, sitting up in a rush. “Damn him and his mouth!”
“What? Why are you angry?” I asked.
“Because he should never have said anything to you about them. He’s always doing this! Pushing boundaries as much as he can.” Her voice strained and rose by an octave. “He’s always meddling! But if he pushes things too much, hell will follow.”
I chuckled, finding humor in the dichotomy between Callisto and Death. “You know, Callisto said the same thing about you, not in those words, but that you were tempting them by being here with me.”
“What the hell would he know about it? He wasn’t here when they came to this world and burned everyone to ash!”
“Are you talking about the Culling?”
She grabbed the pillow next to me and held it to her face, screaming for all she was worth. When she was done, she threw it against the wall halfheartedly, and it thumped softly against the window.
“Damn him,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Hey, hey, hey,” I said, pulling her into a hug. She was shaking with fury but calmed when I wrapped my arms around her waist. “It’s okay, don’t get so worked up about it.”
She turned to face me with panic and worry across her face. “No, you don’t understand, Killian. If he gets their attention and brings them back, it’ll ruin everything. They are not beings to make light of, and I can’t fight them alone.”
“Who are they?”
She shook her head. “I can’t say. Far too many oaths bind me, and I can’t directly speak of them. I can only say that they are like me, beings of creation, but not of this universe.”
I really didn’t know what to say. I was lost in the implications of what she was saying, but I knew she was terrified and that, in turn, scared the hell out of me.
Even Callisto said she was dangerous, and if he’s cautious of her, that means she’s powerful. And she’s afraid of whatever these Watchers are.
I snorted. “I’m so far out of my depth here that it isn’t even funny. First gods, then the Incarnation of Death, and now interdimensional beings.” I rubbed my eyes and wiped my face. “What even is my life anymore?”
She gave a hollow laugh and looked up at me. “The universe is a lot stranger than humanity could ever hope to understand. Even this game Callisto’s playing is mild compared to what’s really out there.”
I shook my head. “That doesn’t comfort me in the slightest.”
“The truth is rarely comforting, but it’s always worth hearing,” she said.
I placed an arm on her shoulder, and she immediately curled into me, laying her head on my chest as we stared out the window.
We stayed like that for a long time, and though I was still conflicted about my feelings toward her, I couldn’t deny that holding her felt like the most natural thing in the world.
Eventually, she let out a breath and trailed her fingers over my hand. “I’m sorry. It’s unbecoming for one such as myself to lose my composure. I shouldn’t have gotten angry.”
I nodded. “It’s fine. I understand anger.” I scoffed. “After today. I understand anger.” I paused and glanced at her, giving her a half-smile. “You know, I told myself that my emotions had no place in this new world we find ourselves in. And I was right. There’s no place for a soft heart anymore.”
“You’re wrong, Killian.” Death smiled and wound her arm through mine. She turned around and flicked my nose. “Don’t go giving up your humanity so easily. You may think trust is the most valuable resource right now. But it isn’t. Not by a long shot. Trust can be won and lost, bought and sold. Borrowed and given freely. It’s easier to gain than you might believe right now. But your humanity? That spark of kindness that makes you who you are? Once lost, it can never be returned.”
“Yeah.” I scoffed. “I’m well aware.”
She nodded. “You traded a sliver away, and you can’t get that back. But I think you gained something just as valuable in exchange.”
“And what would that be?” I asked.
“Resolve.” Death rested her finger along my sternum, right next to my heart. “Resolve to do what must be done to preserve what remains of your humanity. Tell me. Which would have cost more of your humanity? Killing those men for what they had done and would continue to do? Or ignoring it, letting them walk back into the military without a shred of punishment?”
I turned away, staring out at the night sky.
Death smiled, nodding as she leaned against me.
Though it was peaceful, inside, my mind and emotions were conflicted.
She’s right. I have to keep going, no matter what. I don’t have any other choice. I resigned myself to doing whatever it took the moment I accepted the mantle. Even if I have to wade through an ocean of blood to get to the end, it won’t matter, because I can undo everything when I set the world right again. I can fix any problem when I get my wish.
My mind was resolute, and I let all the pent-up emotions from the past few days fade away, all the anger and bitterness, the unfairness and unimaginable pressure that rested on my shoulders.
None of it mattered in the face of my goal.
And all it would do was distract me.
We stayed like that for a time, but the last few days had been draining, mentally and physically, and my body ached in ways that went beyond my muscles and bones. The room was comfortable, and Death was soft and warm, and she smelled sweet, like flowers. The scent caused my eyelids to grow heavy.
“Do you mind if I sleep with you?” Death asked.
I paused. Part of me wanted to say no, but I didn’t want to be alone right now.
I nodded. “Maybe you’ll keep the nightmares at bay.”
She smiled as I got out of bed and pulled the covers down. “Don’t worry. I can keep the Black Dreamer far away. The Incarnation of Nightmares wouldn’t dare go against me.”
“You realize that I have no idea what that means, right?”
Death chuckled as I climbed into bed, and she joined me, scooting to lie beside me. She still wore her black dress, and it bunched around her thighs, giving me a glimpse of purple silk.
She tilted her head to me as a dark smile lifted the corner of her mouth. Death shifted and lifted her dress, teasing her smooth abdomen as her eyes smoldered. “Like what you see?”
I blushed. “Would you like a shirt? We have plenty.”
“Nope. I like your eyes on me. You look at me as you once did. That makes me happy.”
That brought up a very important question. I scratched my cheek and looked away to stare out the window. “Um, have we─did we ever…”
“What? Sleep together?”
I nodded. “Yeah. That.”
“We have not,” she said with a slight shake of her head. “Though not because we didn’t want to. It was just never the right time.” She scooted even closer to me and flashed me a wicked smile. “Though don’t get any funny ideas, mister. Tonight isn’t the right time either.”
I snorted and laid back on the pillow, choosing to stare at the wooden ceiling instead of the moon. After a second, I closed my eyes and propped my arms behind my head.
“On that, we agree, at least.” I sighed. “My world is so messed up right now. Every single person in my life at this moment wasn’t there a week ago. Everything has changed so drastically in such a short time that I can’t even think about being romantic with anyone right now.”
“One day maybe,” Death said as she laid down next to me as her arm came around my chest. She snuggled close to me, and her warmth perfectly combated the whistling wind that brought the calming scent of winter drifting through the room. “When the time is right. But tonight, at least, let me keep you company until you fall asleep. What shall we talk about?”
“History,” I said. “You’ve lived for centuries─”
