Only skin deep, p.5
Only Skin Deep, page 5
I glanced away as I was speaking, starting to get emotional. I’d been pretty scared when my car started sputtering and finally came to a stop on the side of that road. I was still at least a twenty minute drive from home and the same distance from a gas station. My phone died during my shift because I forgot to turn it off. There was no way for me to call anyone. My only option had been to try and walk. In the daylight that would’ve been fine, but not at night. The idea alone caused me to break out in a cold sweat.
“It must have been fate then. I’m glad I was driving by when I was,” he said with a wink.
I was too, more than he’d probably ever know.
We reached the gas station then and Mateo pulled up next to an empty pump. Just as he was parking, his cell rang. He shot me an apologetic look as he reached into his pocket and took it out. “Sorry, one sec,” he said to me before swiping the screen and putting the phone to his ear.
“Yeah,” he answered quickly, stealing glances in my direction. I was watching him, not meaning to eavesdrop but just curious, so I didn’t miss it when his eyes bulged and a faint tint of pink colored his cheeks. “Oh hi! Umm yeah, sorry. I…uh, won’t be making it tonight after all,” he glanced at me again and almost looked guilty. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that it was a girl calling.
Not wishing to make him feel guilty or like I was listening, I glanced away and looked out the window. I’d just met this man and knew nothing about him but for some reason I was jealous. It wasn’t because I wanted him to want me. I knew that was impossible. A man that looked like him would never settle for a girl that looked like me. No, I was jealous because there was some girl on the other end of that call that was living a normal life, dating a really hot guy, and waiting for him to come and pick her up. That was something I knew I’d never have.
“Yeah, I know…I’m really sorry but something really important came up,” he said quietly into the phone. I didn’t like the fact that he was disappointing someone because of me.
I turned to him and motioned with my hands, shaking my head and mouthing that it was okay, that he should go. He narrowed his eye and tilted his head as he tried to figure out what I was saying. I smiled at how cute he looked before mouthing, slowly ‘thank you’ and then opening the car door and stepping out. He’d gotten me here; the least I could do was get myself back so he could go out on his date or whatever.
I closed the door softly so the person on the other end didn’t hear. The last thing I wanted to do was cause another problem. Then, I started walking toward the store. They had to have a gas can I could buy. I’d fill it with gas, walk back to my car, and pray that Mateo was right and that it was all I needed to get my car up and running again. Otherwise, I’d be walking back here to call a tow truck and adding yet another bill the long list of debt I was accumulating.
Before I could make it across the parking lot, Mateo was calling my name. “Elizabeth, wait up!”
I stopped and waited for him to approach, noting that he was no longer on his phone. “Yeah?” I asked when he was standing in front of me.
“Sorry about that. Where are you going?” he ran his hand over his head as if he had hair, and then pulled it away quickly. The move was a habit, telling me he must have just cut his hair that short and wasn’t used to it yet. I wondered what he looked like with hair. I bet it was thick and silky, soft, perfect for running my fingers through, I mused as I stared at his head.
“Elizabeth? Are you okay?” Mateo asked, pulling me from my wayward thoughts.
“Huh?” I shook my head then remembered what he’d asked, “Oh, I was just going to get a gas can and some gas so I could take it back to my car." I pursed my lips and looked toward the store. “They sell gas cans in there, don’t they?" I asked more to myself than to him, but he answered.
“I’m sure they do sweetheart, but you don’t need to buy one. I’ve got one in my trunk you can use.”
I looked back at his amused smile. “Oh thanks, but how will you get it back?”
“Uh, after we put the gas in your car?”
Then I realized he meant to continue to help me. “Oh, I can’t ask you to do that. You’re late for your date or whatever and I don’t want to be the reason for that. I can handle it from here. Thank you though, so much.”
“You didn’t ask me, I’m offering and you aren’t the reason for anything.”
“But I thought...” I trailed off, unsure now.
He blew out a breath, looking around the parking lot before glancing back down to me. “I did have a date, but I canceled it.”
“Oh no! You can’t do that!” I cried out, feeling awful that he would do that for me.
He put his hand up, palm out to stop my protest. “I already did so it’s fine.”
“No really, you can’t. Your girlfriend is going to be so upset with you. I can’t have that on my conscience, especially since you’re such a sweet guy." I told him, hoping he would understand.
He raised an eyebrow and moved a step closer. “No one’s ever called me sweet before,” he said softly.
“Well you are, I don’t know why no one’s ever told you and for that reason, I can’t have you in trouble because of me.”
He chuckled and stepped closer again, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from my face and tuck it behind my ear. “That wasn’t my girlfriend. I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“But who…” I trailed off again. I was sure he was talking to a girl but it wasn’t any of my business.
He answered anyway. “She was a girl I met today and asked out but now… I’m not really interested in her,” he said softly.
I looked at him confused. I didn’t understand but before I could voice this, he reached out and grabbed my hand, holding it softly in his for a second before tugging me toward him. “Come on. Let’s get that gas and see if we can’t fix your car.”
“Okay,” I said softly and followed behind him, all the while staring at his hand holding mine.
Chapter Eight
Mateo
How could this girl possibly have thought I would just leave her there and let her walk all the way back to her car by herself, or even worse, let some random stranger take her? I mean, I knew technically I was a stranger too, but I couldn’t let her go off on her own. What if something happened to her or someone tried to hurt her? A date with some chick I just met wasn’t going to take me away from her that easily. I didn’t know what it was about her, but there was something in her eyes, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It wasn’t love at first sight or any crazy shit like that. But there was definitely something in my gut telling me I needed to protect this girl, keep her close, and make sure she was okay.
What’s her name was pretty pissed by the time the call ended. At first she wasn’t. She told me a few things she had planned for the night as soon as I answered the phone. Usually that would have been all it took to have me headed right over, but not this time. It actually made me uncomfortable and worried that Elizabeth could somehow hear the other woman through the phone. I didn’t know why, but the thought of hurting her made me upset. I’d been more worried about getting the call over with than what was even being said to me. The woman on the other end picked up on that pretty quickly and was giving me hell within seconds. When I couldn’t even remember her name, she finally hung up. I didn’t really give a shit. I’d sat there and watched Elizabeth tell me thanks and then get out of the car. Seeing her walk away from me caused me to get anxious. I was out of the car and by her side instantly.
Next thing I knew, I was holding her hand in mine and leading her back to my car. I knew she was nervous with me touching her. I could tell by the way her eyes kept darting to our intertwined fingers, so I made sure to keep my grip loose in case she wanted to pull away. She didn’t. When we reached the back of my car, I reluctantly dropped her hand and opened the trunk, pulling out the empty gas can.
“Maybe I should get one of those,” Elizabeth mused beside me as I walked over to the pump and pulled out my card to get the gas.
“Oh wait!”
I dropped the card, her voice scared the shit out of me. Instantly, I turned toward her to make sure she was okay. I didn’t notice anything other than her standing there, wringing her hands together nervously. Leaning down, I quickly picked up the card asking, “What’s wrong?” as I did.
“I can pay for my own gas. You’ve already done so much; you don’t need to feel obligated to do that.”
“I don’t feel obligated. I want to,” I said and swiped my card quickly before she could protest any further.
“Mateo,” she said softly. Thankfully, I was facing away from her because I had to close my eyes for a second. The sound of my name on her soft, delicate lips made me think things I knew I shouldn’t be thinking. Once I was pretty sure my eyes wouldn’t betray my thoughts, I turned back to her with a raised eyebrow before crouching down to fill up the gas can.
“Yes sweetheart?” I asked, looking up at her.
She shook her head and smiled down at me. “Why are you being so nice to me? You don’t even know me.”
“I’d really like to." I hadn’t actually meant to say that, not yet but it was out there now so I watched and I waited.
Her eyes rounded and her mouth opened slightly as she stared at me in disbelief. “You…ah, y…you want to…get to…umm…know me?”
She was rubbing her hands together again and her voice showed just how surprised she was by this fact. I couldn’t understand why. She was easily one of the most beautiful girls I’d ever seen but add to that her sweet personality and vulnerability, any guy would want to scoop her up and hold her tight. The gas can was full, so I replaced the pump before stepping over it and to her side. I reached down and took her hand in mine again, before looking into her eyes.
“Of course I do Elizabeth. Why wouldn’t I?” I told her softly, hoping not to scare her away.
She was so tiny compared to me, her hand and fingers swallowed by mine, the top of her head only reaching my collar bone. My size alone would scare someone as small as her, but I’d seen in her eyes a few times already that she scared more than the average person. I wanted to take that fear from her.
“Why?” she breathed out, tilting her head up to look at me.
I gripped her hand a little firmer in mine, running my thumb over the back of it and across her knuckles. I didn’t know what it was about this girl, but I wanted her. I knew I’d only get one shot at getting her too, so I was honest. “You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. You’re sweet and caring and I know this because you didn’t want me to miss my date even if it meant not helping you. But I also see that you’re scared, and I don’t want you to be anymore. I want to be the person that takes your fear away." Even to my own ears I heard how sappy that all was, but it was the honest-to-Gods truth. This girl stirred something in me that I’d never felt before and I knew that if I let her go, I’d never see her again.
“How did…how do you…?” she trailed off, her cheeks flushed pink.
I groaned at how that innocent action made my body stir, I couldn’t help it, but I still kept my distance. “I can see it in your eyes, the way you watch your surroundings, how you almost wouldn’t roll down your window for me, and how you stayed in the car until I was leaving you." I watched her face intently, unsure of how she would react.
“God I’m so pathetic!” she ground out, trying to pull her hands away.
I held tight, not letting her slip from my grasp. “Seriously? You think you’re pathetic? Trust me, you aren’t. In fact, if anyone here is pathetic, it’s me. I just met you and I’m already half in love with you…” I trailed off when her eyes widened and I realized what I’d just said. “Shit! Fuck me!” I cursed myself under my breath, dropping her hand and turning away. Pinching the bridge of my nose with one hand, I tried to figure out a way to fix this. She was going to think I was a complete psycho! Before I could come up with anything, I felt her small, warm hand reach into my free one and tug softly.
When I turned around she was staring at me with those wide blue eyes. “I know you didn’t actually mean it like that, you were just making a point,” she hesitated then continued, “Do you really want to get to know me better?" I could see how much she didn’t want to believe it.
I couldn’t for the life of me understand why but it sounded like she was willing so I nodded my head, staring into those baby blues. “Yeah, I would really like that.”
“Okay, well let’s see if we can get my car fixed and then we’ll talk,” she said with a small smile but still holding onto my hand.
I squeezed it gently then pulled her toward the passenger door, “Sounds like a plan to me." I held her hand as she sat down in the seat, then closed the door behind her. Picking up the now full gas can, I set it in the truck before closing it then slipped into the driver’s seat. I glanced over at Elizabeth who smiled sweetly at me. My breath stuttered in my throat so I ripped my gaze away and started the car. This girl already had me wrapped around her little finger and she didn’t even know it.
Chapter Nine
Elizabeth
I sat quietly again on the way back to my car. It was kinda hard to believe that this man was interested in me. He was so hot, fitting the tall, dark, and handsome bill to a ‘T’ and I was sure he could literally have any girl he wanted. I couldn’t understand why he’d want to waste his time on me. He’d admitted himself that he noticed I was more fearful than most so I knew he saw how timid and weary I was. He had to know that I wasn’t going to be an easy person to get to know.
I didn’t want people to get to know me. If they did, they’d see how broken I was. Guys didn’t want to fix broken. It made me sad to think about what would happen once this one realized just how irreparable I was. He certainly wouldn’t stick around; especially when he realized that I wouldn’t sleep with him. There was no doubt in my mind that this man was very sexual. It literally rolled off of him in waves. I was surprised that it didn’t intimidate me or make me cower and run. Usually guys like him had me crossing the street and walking the other way. But I’d not only wanted to stay near him, I’d actually let him touch me.
That had shocked me at first. Other than the few hugs I allowed my roommates and the clinical touches required at work, I hadn’t let another human being touch me in years. The only skin to skin contact I’d had was unwanted and those were situations I tried not to think about if I could help it. I hated people touching me in an intimate way, I knew where it was leading and it wasn’t something I could stomach. For some reason, it wasn’t that way when Mateo touched me. His fingers were soft the first time, holding me just enough to let me know he wanted me there but loose enough that I could pull away with no problem. Something about that first touch made me realize that I could trust him. I could feel that he wasn't touching me to get something in return. He was doing it because he was concerned about me, about my well-being.
Sensing that his intentions were noble, made me want to get to know him so bad, more than I’d wanted anything in a long time, but I was terrified of what would happen when he decided I wasn’t worth it anymore. I’d told him we’d talk, but that was when I was caught up in the moment. Now that I’d had a second to think without his eyes all over me and his warm skin touching mine, I realized what I needed to do. I had to protect myself, like always. For the rest of the drive, I stayed silent until we reached my car and then waited patiently for him to fill up the gas tank.
“Well, it didn’t overflow so that’s a good sign that your tank was pretty empty. Let’s start it up and see if it works,” he said with a nod, indicating that I should do just that.
Leaving the door open so Mateo could talk to me if he needed to, I sat in the seat, and stuck the key in the ignition. As soon as I turned it, there was a sputtering noise that had my heart plummeting for a split second before the engine turned over and began to hum. I let out a squeal as I jumped from the car and threw my arms around Mateo’s neck. His arms wrapped around me instantly, pulling me closer. His hard body pressed up against mine, the heat from him soaked through my scrubs, warming me in a way I’d never felt before. His head bent down, his face moving to the crook of neck where I felt his hot breath fan against my skin.
My elation instantly turned to terror and I freaked out. I jerked my arms back, trying to move away, but his arms were still wrapped firmly around me. Putting my open palms on his chest, I shoved at him, trying to move him back. He seemed to catch on pretty quickly, moving his arms from around me and placing them on my hips, keeping me from falling.
“Whoa, calm down. I’ll let go, but if you don’t stop you’re going to fall and hurt yourself." His voice was calm and soothing, not the least bit angry or irritated at my sudden irrational behavior.
His hands were still firmly on my hips and even though I could feel the difference in his hold, that he was only supporting me not trapping me, it didn’t help. I continued to push him back until he was forced to let go and I did exactly what he said I would do. I fell on my ass, hard. Now that I was no longer being touched, I could take a deep breath. I kept my face down, looking at the ground as I did, hoping he’d just walk away and leave my crazy ass there. He didn’t.
“Are you okay?” he finally asked.
His voice was so soft, so full of concern, that it broke me. Tears filled my eyes as I stared down at the ground. I couldn’t look at him. Seeing confusion and sympathy, or worse – weariness – would be too much. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to tell him I thought getting to know each other was a bad idea. Scaring him off worked just as good apparently. In a matter of seconds, he’d get frustrated, turn, and walk away. As much as it hurt my heart, it was for the best. I was broken, and no one could fix me.
One of his hands filled my field of vision and I had to blink a few times to make sure it was actually there. When I was sure I wasn’t hallucinating, I chanced a glance up to see Mateo standing over me, offering his hand to help me up. Just like I knew it would, the look on his face broke me. As I looked back down and the dam of tears broke, sobs ripping from my throat, I thought about the look. It wasn’t one of weariness, sympathy, or pity. It was one full of concern and hope. Not only was he worried about me, but he hoped I’d take his hand. I couldn’t, but it seemed I didn’t have much of a choice.
