Unveil a dark ballet ret.., p.21
Unveil: A Dark Ballet Retelling, page 21
Not the way he talked to me, obviously, because fuck him for that. But I get his instinctual need to protect everyone he loves, the urgency running like a current under his skin. We’re alike in that way. Bordeauxs would set the world aflame for our family. Unlike me, though, Orion’s already had everything burn to ash once, right in front of him. From the scars on his hands to the scorched gravestone that failed to shield his mother, I believe him when he says he’ll do anything to keep his loved ones safe.
And… I think that includes me.
What do I do with that?
Right now? Nothing. No, I’m taking the coward’s way out, falling back on my usual M.O., aka distracting myself with literally anything to avoid emotions that are too deep to wade in.
At the moment, I’m stationed right in the trajectory of one of Orion’s traps, watching the fishing line glint like spider silk in the stove grate’s firelight. One wrong twitch and a boulder the size of my head could swing down and crush my noggin. The adrenaline of “will it-won’t it come crashing down” is enough to keep my mind from drifting where I’m afraid to go.
Is it messed up that I’d choose potential death over figuring out how I feel about Orion? Yes. Have I still dragged my finger over the wire like it’s Nox’s cello, wondering how much pressure it’d take to keep me from ever having to confront my feelings again? Also yes, and I do realize that my therapy appointment truly cannot come soon enough.
Like always, though, distraction only lasts so long before anxiety pushes in. Scattered rain dances across the tin roof, a kind of white noise that usually lulls me to sleep like a baby. But nothing feels soothing without knowing Orion is safe, and the longer I stare into the stormy wilderness, the less safe I feel too. Will he return before whatever thing I swear stares back finally emerges from the shadows and devours me?
Luna…
I freeze at my name on a hushed whisper, so faint I almost think I imagined it. My heart instantly hammers so loudly that I’m afraid I can’t hear if it happens again. Orion’s superstitions echo in my head, but a reality check reverberates back.
Momma has auditory hallucinations. We thought her illness was different from mine, though, and I’ve never gotten to the point of psychosis before. This can’t be psychosis. It just can’t be.
Right?
I swallow.
“Luna?”
“No,” I whisper, pressing my palms over my ears. “No, no—”
“Lu, you in there? It’s Benoit.”
My hands peel away. I hold my breath to listen.
“Come on, Luna. It’s cold out here,” my friend grumbles.
Relief and excitement shock through me, urging me to the door to fling it open.
Benoit’s hand is frozen mid-knock. He’s soaked to the bone in a jacket, green tee, and black cargo pants, his black hair plastered to his forehead. But that lopsided smile I’ve known all my life is still there.
“Hiya, Lu.”
“Benny!” I half-whisper, half-squeal, leaping at him and knocking the wind out of him.
“Oof,” he laughs, catching me like always. Then he squeezes tight, saying into my hair, “Been worried about you, cher.”
Tears of relief spring to my eyes at the warm familiarity of his hug. His embrace feels like home in a way nothing else has since this nightmare began. He’s family and safety. If he’s here, my father and rescue can’t be too far behind. A few tears slip out as he lets me go and gasps.
“Holy shit, what happened to you?” He holds my hands as he steps back to look at me, brows furrowed. “You’re covered in scratches and more bruises than that time you and Lucy tried pole dancing. And your Swan Lake costume is holding on by a feather and a thread. Literally.”
I glance down at the ripped tutu and nearly-featherless bodice, then try a smirk to downplay his concern. Benoit would have a heart attack if he knew all the details.
“I’m okay. That pole hurt worse, I promise. Orion and I… took a tumble down a waterfall or two.”
“You…” His eyes bug out. “You what?”
I wave him off. “I’ll tell you everything on the ride home. How long have you been following us? Since before the graveyard? I knew I saw something. I figured it was an animal or one of the superstitions in the woods he talks about—”
“Wait, wait, what graveyard?”
“Whitby Rose, obviously. That’s where you found me right? You tracked us there? How did you find us? Were we loud? I tried walking quietly like Orion said, but it’s hard and—
“Luna, slow down, will ya? It’s been a while since you’ve talked this fast. I’ve forgotten how to keep up.” He massages his temple and jerks his thumb over his shoulder.
“When a few of us shadows found the tracker from Orion’s car way down the riverbank, we spread out, with me sticking to the river. This cabin was the first sign of humanity, and there weren’t any Deliverance banjos playing in the trees, so…” He gives himself a flourish ending in a slight bow. “Here I am!”
“Deliverance? Really?” I cross my arms. “That was offensive, Benoit.”
His shoulders lift in an innocent shrug, smile mocking. “How about I stop being offensive as soon as these assholes quit fighting over you, yeah? Anyway, enough chitchat. We need to get this show on the road.”
He takes my hand, pulls his phone out with the other, and swipes until my dad’s caller ID pops up. Then he hands it to me.
“Here, call him and tell him we’re on the way. He was on the other side of the mountain when we split up, so it’ll take him a while to come grab us. I slid down this ravine during the storm, but if we move now, with the weather letting up again, we can maybe make it out the same way I came. Hopefully he’ll be there by the time we get to the main road.”
My brain takes a second to catch up. “Wait…”
“It’s not exactly a smooth trip back along the river.” He grimaces at the stormy sky. “Does it always rain this much up here?”
He tugs me forward, but I tug back. “Wait. What about Orion?”
His expression darkens. “You mean Fury? Don’t worry. He’s a dead man. Sol will start hunting him the second you call to tell him you’re safe.”
He gestures to the phone like he’ll make the call for me, but I snatch it out of his reach.
“No!”
“What the—”
“You can’t hurt him. And we have to wait for him to come back. I don’t want to leave without him.”
The words slip out before I can stop them, and Benoit’s bewilderment and hurt register too late.
“You don’t… want to leave him? Luna, we’re here to save you,” he says slowly, the same tone he used the time I confessed to lifting a gun off a cop. “You okay, cher? If this is one of those I-fell-in-love-with-my-stalker Stockholm-y things, let me help you out. He kidnapped you. Killed a guy behind Masque—”
“No, he—”
He did that for me, hovers on my tongue, but I swallow my words this time. If anything would make Benoit think I’ve fallen for my captor, it’d be that.
Then again… did I fall for him?
Orion Fury is possessive and ruthless. But he’s also protective, thoughtful. The only times he’s ever been harsh with me is when it came to my safety.
Damn. Maybe I have been Stockholmed. Wouldn’t that be just my luck? I mean, why not add one more cherry-on-top diagnosis to my fucked-up sundae?
Except… just thinking that way makes guilt pang through my chest. Orion’s been transparent about how much he cares for me, and my own feelings are becoming just as clear.
“I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for him,” I say instead, sticking with the safest truth I’ve got.
Benoit studies me, then explains firmly. “He can survive out here on his own, Lu. Furys are practically born feral.”
“I…” My chest twists. “I’m sorry. I just can’t leave yet.”
“Luna,” he groans, half-exasperation, half-plea.
“Stay,” I beg. “Please, Benny? He’ll be back any second. After you talk, you’ll see what I mean. There’s a lot you don’t know.”
I step aside, inviting him in. He hesitates at the threshold, drumming his fingers on the doorframe, lips pressed together as he thinks. After a few beats, he nods to himself and steps back to slip an orange pill bottle from his jacket.
“Your dad made sure we all carried some,” he begins carefully, but irritation stains my vision red. “This way, whoever found you would be able to help you. Maybe… maybe you could take one now before Fury gets back?”
It’s all I can do not to knock the pills out of his hand. But that sure as hell won’t help my case, so I cross my arms tight against my chest.
“I’m not out of my mind, Benoit. I know what I’m doing. Just because you don’t agree with me doesn’t mean I’m ‘crazy.’”
“Sorry, sorry. Reading you loud and clear.” He winces, hands lifted in surrender. “Jesus, you know I’d never call it that. Hear me out, though. Maybe not now, but at least on the way back? It’s been days without them. That’s bad enough on its own, but then pile on what you’ve gone through?” His voice gentles. “Your parents are worried about you, cher. We all are.”
I shift on my feet, staring at the bottle in his hand, unable to confront the concern I know is written all over his face. He’s right, but there’s something he doesn’t know.
My cheeks heat, and I worry my lip.
It’s only been a day, and I don’t know if anything I can do will affect it, or if there’s even an “anything” to affect, but I won’t take the risk.
“Do you think they’re safe for pregnancy?” I ask quietly.
Benoit freezes. Every muscle in his face hardens as my meaning slams into him.
“Luna… did that motherfucker ra—”
“No.” I cut him off fast. “I… I wanted it.”
The words come out easier than I would’ve expected, and once that truth is out in the world, peace settles over me. I wanted everything that happened yesterday in the waterfall. I want Orion.
Benoit’s posture sags, and pity creeps into the rest of his features. But not judgment. He nods his acceptance, and my breath releases from my chest.
I don’t know why I was worried. He’s never judged me before, and, even now, when he believes I’ve done the unthinkable by sleeping with the enemy, my friend still loves me the same.
“We’ll look it up together, okay?” He slides the medicine back into his jacket pocket. “But we don’t know when Fury will be back, and we need to go.”
“What’s the rush?” My eyes narrow. “It’s been days. Why do we need to go now?”
His hard swallow bobs down his neck. “I… can’t tell you.”
“Can’t?” My brow raises. “Or won’t?”
“Can’t. Orders.” He winces. “Your dad didn’t want to worry you.”
“Benoit,” I warn. “You know I hate when you shadows get all secretive.”
“All I can say is”—his hands go up, palms out like he’s trying to calm a spooked animal—“since that Wilde got killed outside Masque, things are getting heated. People are getting… jumpy.”
“Okay, what’s ‘heated’ mean? Like arguing in the streets? Tourists getting rowdy? Bar fights…” I run through more scenarios, letting my stream of consciousness flow with questions, until his tight-lipped silence makes a brittle, frustrated laugh huff out. “Come on, Benny, tell me already. You’re scaring me. Are my parents okay? Nox, Uncle Jaime? Oh God, it was the car chase. Did Jaime get hurt——”
“Okay, chill, Lu. Your parents, Nox, Jaime, they’re all fine,” he rushes to say. “The car chase was child’s play. We’ve done worse on the track. But the sooner we get home—”
“Benoit.” I step up to him. “Tell. Me.”
He closes his eyes, bracing himself for me to blow up on him. He’s quiet for so long, I have to physically bite my tongue to keep my racing thoughts in check.
His eyes open on a sigh. “It’s about the other daughters. Us shadows are watching them like hawks, closing ranks to make sure they’re protected. Brylie’s pissed as per usual, but Lucy…”
“What about her?” Dread pools in my stomach as he grimaces.
“She’s scared. To death. You being kidnapped majorly triggered her. Panic attacks, breakdowns, the whole nine. I’m sure she’ll be okay once you’re safe and sound, but we’re worried she’ll go rabbit on us again. Like she used to after she was… you know.”
Cold sweat prickles the back of my neck. He doesn’t need to elaborate. When we were kids, we were told to never, ever, ever bring up Lucy’s kidnapping. Just mentioning it would send her spiraling.
“But she hasn’t run away in years,” I say, guilt building in my chest. “Benny, that’d be literally the worst thing she could do in this situation.”
Her parents were always able to find her before, but she got better and better at hiding from her anxiety, not to mention the rest of us. Trauma taught her it was the only way to save herself.
Sure, Lucy and I would fantasize about leaving to find our own paths, out from under our parents’ and the public’s watchful eyes. But the only reason I even entertained those thoughts is because she’d grown out of the habit and hadn’t run away in years.
“Panic isn’t always logical.” He sighs, the sound jarring in the quiet forest.
Wait.
“And she was good at hiding as a kid,” he continues while my ears perk up. “Imagine what she can do now that she knows what she’s doing—”
“Shh,” I cut him off, straining to hear.
He jolts. “What?”
I tap my ear, mouthing, Listen.
He stills. The world stills. I hold my breath for the cawing of birds, the rustle of scurrying animals, or even a trumpet from one of the lake swans calling to their mate. Anything.
But there’s just… silence.
“I don’t hear anything,” Benoit murmurs.
“Exactly.” My eyes sweep the dark woods beyond the porch. “Something’s out there—”
“Luna, look out!”
The shove knocks me back just as two deafening bangs rip through the air.
Benoit jerks twice, twisting under the impacts. Blood blossoms across his green shirt, each bloom with a gaping cavity in his chest.
“Benoit!”
He stares down at the wounds in disbelief, then at me, eyes wide, unfocused.
Nononononono—
“Benny?” The world slows into a warped, muffled blur as if I’m underwater. My chest is tight as I sink.
I can’t breathe. This isn’t real. It can’t be.
He staggers toward me. My breath hitches with every step, each one smaller and slower than the last, until his legs buckle. I lunge in time to catch him, the role reversal a sickeningly familiar dance that sends my stomach lurching up my throat.
“No! Come on, Benny, don’t fall. Stand up with me—”
But his weight, so heavy, folds into me. We collapse to the ground together, slamming my knees hard onto the wood floor.
“Okay, it’s okay, we’ll try again later.” I fight for the words he’s said to me a million times. “You… you just need to rest for a minute, that’s all. Then we’ll get back up. J-just hold on until then, okay? Someone will come. I-I-I’ll call for help. Your phone—” I look around frantically for where I dropped it. “Your phone is somewhere. I’ll call my dad. He’s close, right? He can get help. And when Orion gets here, he’ll know what to do—”
“Luna?” His plea stops me cold. I watch in horror as his hand comes away slick with blood. His lips tremble. “I think… I think I’m dying.”
“No.” Pain like I’ve never known punches into my chest. I shake my head frantically, muttering the word over and over again.
He can’t die. Not him. Not my Benny who’s danced me through thousands of rehearsals since we were four. Who started as much trouble with me as we escaped. Who swore to protect me with his life since that fateful day in the auditorium ten years ago.
“Don’t worry, cher. Nox and I will protect you with our lives, I promise.”
It’d seemed so ridiculous then.
Benny’s been my shadow for years. My friend my whole life. Family. He took a vow right beside Nox to protect me, to be my shield against the worst of the world. But he wasn’t supposed to make good on it.
He was almost out.
Being one of my father’s men isn’t a life sentence anymore. Shadows protect. They don’t bleed. They don’t fall. They don’t…
They don’t die.
Tears glaze his eyes, and he gasps softly. His signature lopsided smile breaks through as he sees something beyond me. Something I can’t see.
“They’re here, Luna… my parents. I finally… I finally found them.”
Peace softens his brow, and he’s just my Benny again, more carefree and hopeful than I’ve ever seen him.
A heartbroken wail strangles my throat, and hot tears streak down, landing in a fresh puddle of blood. He blinks and looks at me again. One hand still pressed to his heart, he seems to use all his strength as he lifts the other to cradle my jaw. I capture his wrist to keep him there, and his thumb brushes gently over my cheek, but I can’t tell which he’s wiping away. My tears or his blood.
“Don’t cry for me, cher. I… I died protecting my family. I did what I never could,” he murmurs softly, voice fading with every word. “And now… I’m going home.”
“Benny, wait!” Pressure builds in my chest, cracking open my sternum and freeing a panicked shout. “Please, stay with me. Don’t—”
His hand goes limp in mine and I tighten my grip. Life leaves his eyes in a blink, and his final breath slips out on a sigh.
“No!” The scream rips my throat raw, ending in a sob that racks through me. “Please, no.”
The words echo uselessly, choking out of my lungs only to get lost in the woods—
Wild blond hair flashes between the trees. A man steps out, gun raised, stalking toward me with a cruel, triumphant grin slashed across his lips. Like he’s already won the battle my friend never got to fight in.
Instant, white-hot fury sears through my grief. My shadow, my friend, died to keep me alive. I won’t let his death go in vain.
