Mercer berkeley bred boo.., p.14
Mercer (Berkeley Bred Book 4), page 14
“Merce—”
“Shut up, Vallei,” he requested, calmly but asserting his dominance. “And brace yourself. This shit is warm.”
Like a donut, he glazed my body with oil from a warmer that was on the nightstand beside his bed. I wasn’t as surprised by his nourished skin anymore. The measures he took to obtain it explained it all.
His long fingers worked the kinks out of my shoulders first. He then moved on to my breasts, giving them a nice, long rub before massaging my arms. Then, my abdomen.
“Lay back, Pretty.”
I stretched out of the towel he’d laid behind me, clenching my walls as I felt his breath near my belly button. I closed my eyes and spread my legs slowly, anticipating the moment I’d feel his tongue against my clit. So many seconds passed. There was nothing. Not even massaging. I opened my eyes slowly.
What I saw before me nearly sent me into cardiac arrest. My heart almost leaped from my chest. A hand hovered over my stomach as Mercer whispered things that had fallen upon deaf ears. Though I couldn’t hear or understand what he was saying, I knew who he was saying things to, what the one-sided conversation consisted of, and the topic.
He opened his eyes and resumed. When he finally finished, he fished around the bed to find the shirt he’d laid out for me.
“Hands up.”
He pulled it over my head and down my body. It swallowed me whole. As it attached itself to my skin, Mercer attached his lips to mine.
“I’m going to whip up something quick so I can feed you before we go to bed.”
I nodded, unable to say a single word.
“You good?”
I nodded, again.
“Aight. Take a nap, sleepy head. I’ll wake you when the food is ready.”
I watched him walk out of the room, but not before grabbing my phone and plugging it into the charger next to his bed. I listened for the door to close. And as soon as it collided with the frame, my chest sunk into my back.
Pulling myself in a ball, I buried my head underneath the cover and wept. The overwhelming, soulful sobbing was much too difficult to contain. The sounds filled the room. I hoped Mercer hadn’t heard a peep because I needed every tear that stained his shirt to be set free.
He was as glorious as the rain after too many days of sunshine. He was as gratifying as the summer breeze during the first bike ride of a busy week. He was love. He was light.
And just a few hours in his space, he’d brought along revelations that I wasn’t quite fond of—or the acceptance of them at least. Yet, simultaneously, I welcomed the idea. The honesty. The truth that weighed my chest down, made my heart heavy.
I’ve never been truly, utterly cared for… taken care of. I’ve never been enamored. Adored. Flawed and all. I’ve never been admired to this degree. I’ve never been… prayed for.
The man I’d chosen to love and cherish for the rest of my life had shitted on me from the day we learned that conception was nearly impossible for us. The stranger who had stumbled on our doorstep a month ago and given my body exactly what it had been yearning for began praying for a remedy moments after learning of my diagnosis.
Primary ovarian insufficiency. It was a term I didn’t have to hear another day in my life, and I’d be okay with that.
My ovaries failing me before I reached the age of forty was not in my life’s plan, but God always laughed at those, anyway. Or so I’ve been told. It made so much sense why I’d been made a mockery by marrying Phillip when Mercer was somewhere in the world, waiting for someone to have and hold as his own. Waiting for me.
Oh, Mercer. I wept. He was making the decision to leave everything behind so much easier. He was making everything easier, even falling head first for his potential. Our potential. Though it was forbidden to fall for what could be, I had no reservations. Mercer was, undoubtedly, the exception.
My vibrating phone startled me. Slowly, I rolled over, hoping the caller would give up and end their quest for contact before I reached it. Unfortunately, Mal wasn’t a quitter. She hung up and called back a second time.
“Hello,” I cracked. Disguising the constant tears was more of a task than I’d anticipated.
The sudden need to inhale would surely reveal sniffles and the heaving of my chest. Even the thought of it all filled me with more emotions.
“Your location,” she began. “Where are you? Is everything okay? I came by to check on you, but you’re not home. What’s the matter? Are you crying?”
I nodded as if she could see me.
“Vallei. Talk to me.”
“I must’ve been so foolish to marry him, Mal. I had to have been,” I confessed.
“Where are you? I’m on my way? I have the address.”
“No. Please. I’m fine. I think.”
The tears continued to fall.
“Vallei, I’m on my way. I won’t be satisfied until I see you for myself.”
“I’m at his home.”
“His home?” she questioned.
“Yes.”
Over the last month, I’d mentioned Mercer more times than the law allowed. Mal had learned to spell his name backward and forward. She was waiting patiently for his new spot to open so she could drag me down there. Unfortunately, I couldn’t wait for her or for it to open. I’d made my way down sooner.
“Oh shit.”
“He’s too much. He’s so much. He just keeps revealing things I’ve been so afraid to face, things I’ve been too blind to see… things that I’ve been too fearful to address. And it’s making me hurt everywhere while feeling so good at once.”
“Awwww, baby. Has that man fucked you to tears?”
“Yessssss,” I admitted. “But more than that, he’s so gentle with me, so detail-oriented, so understanding, so caring, and so damn fine. Mal, where has this man been my entire adulthood? Why has it taken this long to find me? I’m pissed.”
“Timing is everything, babe. Timing is everything.”
“I have to end my marriage. Staying is no longer an option, even if it means losing a few dollars. They’re not worth my sanity. Experiencing something much more beautiful than what I’ve been previously exposed to is opening my eyes. I have to get out of it, Mal.”
“I know and you will. I trust that you will. I also know how hard you’ve worked to get to where you are, and that man doesn’t deserve to eat off your plate for the rest of his life. Don’t make an impulsive decision and regret it in the end. Let’s be strategic, baby. First, let’s find a damn good lawyer and weigh your options.”
“One that isn’t afraid to fight for my finances to stay intact.”
“One that isn’t afraid of them like most of them in Berkeley.”
“In Huffington.”
“True enough.”
As our conversation continued, the tears on my skin began to dry. Mal had always been skilled at coaxing me through crisis. Her and my violin were a duo to whom I was forever indebted.
“Call me when you feel better, babe, or when you’re done getting your insides dug out.” She laughed.
“I don’t feel bad. I just feel… things. I can’t quite put a finger on it.”
“Don’t hurt your head trying to.”
“Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow. He’s made it clear that he’s not sleeping alone tonight.”
“Neither will you, sounds like.”
“I’m not upset about that, Mal. In his arms is exactly where I want to be. That man prayed over me.”
“Shut up.”
“Yes. Somehow, I revealed that I can’t have children. I wanted to get that out of the way in case it was a deal breaker for whatever we have in store. After washing my body in the shower, he oiled me down. I opened my eyes to find him hovering over my belly with his eyes closed and his head bowed.”
“Oh, Vallei. You’re not escaping this man. I’d be in a ball crying too. Shit! Who is this nigga, and does he have brothers?”
“They’re all spoken for, he told me. All four of them.”
“I can believe it! Cousins?” She tried again.
“Haven’t gotten that far yet, but I will let you know.”
“Ummm hmmm. I’ll be waiting. I’m ready to quit my job and kick my feet up.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow.” I chuckled, finally feeling lighter again.
“Love you, babes. Get some rest and know that you deserve all the love you’re receiving right now. Don’t question it.”
“I won’t.”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
I ended the call with a smile, placing the phone against my chest. The aroma of food that I hadn’t cooked was becoming my favorite scent. Remembering what I’d been told while also listening to my body, I closed my eyes with the intention of rest.
Buzzzzz.
The unusual sound of the doorbell quickly interrupted my plans. Mercer’s bedroom seemed as if it was miles away from the front door. There was no way I’d be able to determine whose presence was behind it.
Deciding to mind my business and lean into the comfort of his bed, I closed my eyes again. My security was the least of my worries. With every fiber in my body, I knew that Mercer would keep me from hurt, harm, and danger if it was at all within his capabilities.
As I began to doze, the door crept open. Fully expecting to see Mercer, I was flabbergasted when Mal rounded the corner with worried eyes and a sly smile. Her hands lifted, welcoming me in for a hug long before she reached me.
“Dinner will be ready soon, Pretty. You’re welcome to stay if you’d like, Mallory.”
Mercer peeped his head in to announce and then was gone again, leaving a void that Mal’s arms quickly filled.
“Wh-what are you doing here?”
I could feel the swelling of my eyes. The fabric of her jacket brushed against my lids, extracting pain. The soreness was a result of constant wiping and rubbing with the shirt, which was now crunchy in the front.
“You thought I was playing, babe? You should know me better by now. When I said I needed to lay eyes on you, I meant I needed to lay eyes on you.”
“Thank you. But I told you I’m fine.”
“Now that I see that for myself, so am I.”
“Will you be staying for dinner?”
“No. I won’t interrupt, but I won’t front like I’m not tempted. It smells good in there.”
“He’s king of the kitchen. I’m not mad about it.”
“Listen, all I’m going to say is I’ll understand if you never leave this man’s bed. Not only was he beautiful, but so was this house, and the look in his eyes when I mentioned your name at the door was as if I reignited a spark. Because, for a minute, I thought I was about to take my last breath. I love a man that totes a big gun, honey.”
“A big gun is not all that man is toting, so help me God.”
Mal doubled over in laughter, but I was serious.
“Seriously.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
“Please.”
“I’m going to get out of here, babe. Get my behind on home. I have three days to prepare for my next trip. I wanted to hang a bit, but I’ll catch you before I leave, right?”
“Yes. Promise.”
“Goodnight, Vallei. Take care of your heart, love.”
“Goodnight. I’ll walk you out.”
I slid from underneath the warmth of the sheets. Mercer had left a pair of the white slippers that were lined up at his front door by the bedside. I slipped into them and headed out with Mal.
We reached the door and then for each other. Our arms and hands squeezed, making sure we transferred more love between us before parting ways. I watched her get in her car from the window beside the door.
When she was in and pulling out of the long driveway, I tiptoed toward the kitchen, eager to see what was being prepared. To my surprise, I entered the dining room to find plates on the table with food designed for a five-star dining experience, topping them both.
“Is your friend not staying for dinner?”
I whipped my body around slowly, finding Mercer leaning against the frame that led into the kitchen. I had no idea he’d been standing there or how long.
“I just saw her out.”
“I would’ve. I didn’t know she’d be leaving so soon.”
“She didn’t want to interrupt.”
“She wasn’t,” he assured me.
“It would’ve taken all night to convince her of that, so I didn’t begin trying.”
“Understandable.”
A moment or three passed with us fixated, unmoving. Time seemed to stand still whenever I encountered Mercer. Everything stopped. Nothing progressed but the beats of my heart per minute and my addiction to him.
“Come ’ere.”
I sauntered in his direction, stopping when the tips of my house shoes touched the tips of his, forcing him to share his space with me. He’d called me over, so I doubted he cared, and I was sure it was exactly what he had in mind.
“What’s with the tears?”
With a thumb, he brushed my left lid.
“Don’t worry about it. Let’s just continue our night.”
“Nothing continues, Pretty, until I fix whatever is fucked up in your world. Nothing.”
“Mercer.”
“Anything, Pretty. When I said that, I meant that.”
“Whatever do you mean by anything, Mercer?”
“Anything you need. Anything you want. Anything to make you feel better. Anything to make you feel good. Anything to keep you smiling. Anything to keep you protected. Anything… So tell me, why the tears? I don’t like them.”
“I can’t explain.”
“Yes, you can, Vallei. You’re a poet. The words are there. Use them.”
Silently, I stared up at him, knowing that he was accurate. And when the words came to me, I began to explain.
“Being here, being with you, opens wounds I didn’t know existed. Helps me shed skin that I’ve been needing to shed. Makes me realize I’ve probably never been loved properly, cared for properly. And while it hurts so bad, it feels so good. So, these tears were not sad tears. Not all of them, at least.”
“Maybe you were loved. You just ain’t gone ever be loved like I can love you, so it will make every effort any other nigga has ever put forward feel minuscule. And that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Because once you let me, for real, won’t be a nigga on God’s green earth that can out-love you like me. I’d bet my last dime on it.”
A nod had to suffice because my lack of air left me speechless.
“Now, can I feed you so you can tell me why the fuck you ain’t single and ready for me to lock you down?”
Another nod lifted my head up and down.
“Good.”
I was seated at the table he’d prepared by the time he made it to his seat. He’d pulled my chair out and helped scoot it to the table after I’d gotten comfortable. A quick prayer was followed by forks against the plate, stabbing a dish that I didn’t quite recognize.
“Give it to me straight.”
Mercer wasted little time getting down to business. I didn’t mind a bit. I’d been waiting to explain myself, explain my situation.
“The Trembles are the best divorce attorneys in Huffington. Divorcing Phillip will mean agreeing to give him half of my earnings as well as monthly payments until he remarries or decides he doesn’t want any more money from me. I doubt it’ll ever be the decision.”
“Cheaper to keep him.”
I nodded. “But my misery is beginning to be too much to contain. I want out. I just can’t figure out how.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I—”
“You don’t have to.”
“Merc… I don’t underst—”
“Anything, Pretty.”
“I j—”
“I’ll figure it out. Just give me some time.”
“How?”
“I will figure it out. Don’t worry about how. If you want out, then you’ll have out. Just have patience.”
“And us? In the meantime?”
“There isn’t an us, Pretty. Not yet. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I’ve done my research, baby. I’m not putting that much paper on the line, even if it’s not mine. Your net worth is twenty-eight million dollars. We can wait. I’ll be here when it’s all settled.”
“Twenty-eight million. Is it?” That was news to me.”
“Did you not know?”
“I didn’t. I don’t worry myself with those numbers. Besides, that feels a bit inaccurate.”
With a chuckle, Mercer put his fork down. Feels a bit low, is what you meant, huh?”
“I didn’t sa—”
“How much are you protecting, Pretty?”
“I mean, I silently invest in compan—”
“Just answer the question.”
“Thirty-six.”
Nodding, he picked his fork up and continued eating. After clearing his mouth, he spoke again. “Yeah. Let me figure that out.”
“He doesn’t know.”
“Doesn’t know what?”
“How much I truly have.”
“He knows enough and submitting documentation to the courts will make him aware.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“Don’t worry. It won’t reach that point.”
“Yeah?”
“It won’t.”
My mind was stuck in the place he’d left it when he said we’d need to put a pause on what we’d embarked on. More than anything, that piece of the conversation had my heart aching.
“I don’t want to stop seeing you,” I confessed. “Not even for a few days.”
“I’m not on no creep shit, Pretty. I’m a forty-year-old man. That shit for kids. And I’m no fool, either. With damn near forty million on the line, I have nothing to lose, but you could lose half.”
“There has to be another way.”
“Going in guns blazing. That’s always an option for me and a sure way to get shit done, but I have too much on the line to risk jail time right now. So, back to option one. I’m here when you need me, but it doesn’t go beyond that. Understood?”
