Lewd dungeon, p.20
Lewd Dungeon, page 20
“Yeah, I can understand that. I don’t have any kids, but plenty of the young healers tend to be arrogant little shits that need to be put in their place. Especially the ones that used to be gamers. In a game world, where pain isn’t a thing, and you just respawn when killed? Yeah, they tend to get a bit of a god complex, with the whole ‘holding your life in my hand’ bit.”
“Yes, especially when they aren’t tied to any particular faith. Sure, some of them are, but a lot of the priests and priestesses we’ve been getting through the System’s allotment have been priests of ideals, rather than gods. Especially the younger crowd.”
“Well, gods weren’t ‘real’ until just a couple years ago, not as far as any of us knew. So, it isn’t out of line to have people not really feeling faith as a guiding force for their class. It’ll probably sort itself out as different gods become more established. And, if someone doesn’t like being a priest, there are always tomes to change that in the System Shop.”
“Oh, yeah. By the way, we haven’t put this on the public boards, since the APD is wanting to keep it quiet, but some of our adventurers caught a guy with the Puppet Master class. It was bad.”
“Ugh. I’ve seen the reports about them. Their [Puppet Brand] is scary shit. According to the System Shop, getting hit by one is basically game over. Even the [Slave Brand] of a Slave Master is better, since it doesn’t destroy the person’s soul. Anyone hit by a [Puppet Brand] is just that, a mindless puppet from then on.”
“Yeah, the team that discovered him discovered his ‘playhouse’. They took him down with ‘extreme prejudice’. Their words.”
“Only thing they could do. I actually went up to Washington the other day, to talk about things like this with some people from the Administration. They’re talking about making using a [Puppet Brand] equivalent to First Degree Murder, and a federal crime. They wanted my input on how they could hold people like that, or if it was even possible.”
“What did you tell them?”
“That my advice was that anyone [Analyze]d who had the class be either forcibly exiled by System Contract, or forced to use a Class Change tome from the System Shop. And if they used their [Brand] on anyone? Mandatory death penalty, performed immediately, with no chance of parole.”
“If I hadn’t seen the video of that Puppet Master’s lair, or seen what happened to his victims, I would say you’re fucked in the head for saying something like that. But now? Yeah, it sounds about right. Catch anyone with the class early, before they can use the [Puppet Brand], and give them a change to something that isn’t turning people into meat puppets for some sick show, and kill the ones who have done that, before they can destroy anyone else.”
There was an uncomfortable silence. “So, what about the kids? How are you holding up?”
“We’ll work through this. Lara just finished her first ‘service’, and I’m making headway through a bottle of Everclear to try and get my head straight after that, while she goes and reads the Demon’s holy book. Thankfully, oral counts just as much as going all the way, so I haven’t had to do that with her. Thing is, I have it easier than the others.”
“Because even though she’s your little girl, at least she’s a girl. Janet can’t be thrilled about that, though.”
“She isn’t, but she is determined to make it work, just like me. There’s family counseling in our future, of course. First session is Monday, actually. By then, we’ll have had a couple days to come to terms with how things have to be.”
“And the others? It is an ‘all or nothing’ thing, where if one of the families screws up, you’re all fucked, right?”
“Like I said, that’s a bit more difficult for them, since boys are supposed to act a certain way, you know? As bad as my little girl doing things with me, or with Janet is? They’re going to get it far worse, in society, if their fathers deal with it, and their fathers will get it worse if their mothers deal with it. And if their siblings do it? That causes all kinds of other problems. Especially since all three families are, or were, nominally religious.”
Brice sighed. “Vance probably is going to be the easiest to deal with. Apparently, his older sister has decided to ‘take him in hand’. Fitting, since she has the Dominatrix class. Even after their three years are up, I have a feeling that she’ll keep him on a short leash.”
“That’s the Wizard, right? What about the other two? The Fighter and the Rogue?”
“Sam, the Fighter, got to discover the hard way that his daddy is bi. Gary’s team has gone down in that damn dungeon plenty of times since the portals opened up, which is probably where the damn kids got the idea that it would be a good place to try and get some experience, what with the ‘less lethal’ traps. Anyways, he's making sure Sam knows full well how badly he screwed up.”
“That’s going to basically ruin him in society. Which is what the Demon wanted, naturally. Make sure everyone knows that the hammer will come slamming down, and they think twice about getting stupid.”
“Yeah. And Alan, the rogue, is now Alanna.” Miguel nearly choked on his drink when he heard that, causing Brice to offer a pained laugh. “Yeah, his dad wasn’t about to let his boy cuck him, his words, even though Sarah is in Gary’s team, and she’s told him about the dungeon. According to Rick, it is the difference between dating a stripper or a hooker, knowing all the shit they do for money, and having them come home to you and be loyal while they’re in the house, and the stripper bringing another guy to your home, or sleeping with your brother or one of your friends when not ‘on the job’.”
“I get that. There have been a lot of conversations like that around the Miami guild, ever since that damn dungeon opened up shop. The dungeon is challenging traditional relationships for sure, but aside from some people who are basically coming around on open or poly relationships, the general consensus is that what happens in the dungeon stays in the dungeon, and people come home to their partner.”
“Yeah, that was how Sarah and Rick settled things, too. So, Rick marched the boy over to the System Shop, and forced him to buy a potion that changed him to a her. And that was before they did their forced ‘self-introduction’ to their classmates. Alanna is broken up, to say the least.”
Miguel shook his head. “I’m not going to judge on that. I can’t even imagine what I’d do in your position, or theirs. Just be glad that your girl is home with you, and not on ‘cleaning duty’ in the dungeon. I’ve seen the inside of the Breeding Halls, one time when I was over there to talk with him, and just looking around is enough to scar you for life. Having to clean up after some of Captain Hentai’s kids eat their way out of a person? Even that industrial poison you’re drinking isn’t enough to get that out of my head.”
“I knew it was bad, but that bad?”
“Worse. We don’t spread the information around, but when the baby slimes eat their way out of the… host, they only consume about forty to fifty percent of the body. The heart usually is part of what is eaten, given where it is, and where the slimes grow, but if the pain doesn’t send them into shock and knock them out, the victim is still alive for a few minutes after their heart gets dissolved. And if one of the slimes is a Holy Slime, or one of the varieties that have healing properties? Then it keeps them alive longer, and conscious.”
“Oh, god. And they were going to be cleaning up after that?”
“Yeah. And that is just one example. Remember the Demon has been experimenting with all kinds of hybrids and the like. Cleaning not only means cleaning up a woman who just got gangbanged by goblins or picking up the remains of Captain Hentai’s latest ‘bride’. It also means eliminating some of the misbegotten spawn, after he somehow manages to get a human to crossbreed with a Pomeranian! And the dog was the female. I know for a fact that he’s had both men and women in those halls trying to create centaurs the ‘natural’ way. And then there’s the Dogik, those spider aliens? He’s trying to see what kind of hybrids can be made there, too. No successes, yet, or so I’ve been told, but plenty of ‘mistakes’ that need to be ‘cleaned up’.”
“You’re right. Everclear is not strong enough for this.”
“Yeah. And just making Lara and her friends clean up after that? That was him being uncharacteristically merciful. Might want to make sure Lara knows just how close she came to some real horrors.”
“Yes. I’ve already gone over most of it while she was… performing her duties. But I’ll make sure she gets the full picture, soon.”
“So, shifting focus, how is this going to affect school for her, and the others? And should I get the lawyers ready, in case someone starts legal trouble for you and the other families? The kids are 15, after all, and Georgia says age of consent is 16. With public notice, there’s no way someone won’t think about calling the police, or social services.”
“Carl, Vance’s dad, actually works for the city, so he had someone from Social Services come in and talk before the deal had even been signed. They… aren’t happy, for sure, but this is just one part of a wider range of issues that the department is facing because of ‘old world’ rules coming up against System realities. Like the fact that there’s a goblin couple in the city who had a healthy bunch of kids, who, at three years old, are already fully mature. Physically, at least. And goblins under the System have an average life span of fifteen to twenty years. Meanwhile, an Elf at the age of 45 is still considered a child.”
“Yeesh. That’s going to be a pain to work through. Especially since the legal system isn’t really keen on having different standards for different types of people codified into law. I mean, we all know some laws aren’t applied equally, but when they’re actively written to be unequal? That always causes problems.”
“Which is why the social worker just nodded when the Demon told her part of the reason he made the punishment so severe was out of annoyance for the kids forcing him to deal with all of this. Still, despite everything, I am glad for his first-floor bosses. If those mages hadn’t taken things into their own hands… well, it wouldn’t have been good.”
“And that’ll be another reason he came down hard on your daughter and her friends. They caused his slaves to stage a minor rebellion out of conscience. Trying to fix things without making it look like they can get away with things, so long as they’re willing to pay the price? That is going to annoy him. Those two are probably experiencing new kinds of hell right now, because they stepped out of line.”
“Well, fuck. Now I feel even worse about the situation.”
“Don’t worry about them, Brice. Nothing you can do for them. Just focus on Lara, and Janet. Keep the wife happy and the daughter in line, until the time on the contract is up. And keep your guild going strong at the same time. It is a tall order, but I know that you can do it.”
“Thanks, Miguel. I feel better, now.”
“Good! Then put away the Everclear, and drink something that won’t strip paint from the fumes alone!”
Chapter 306 – Exchange
Miguel walked onto the stage area of the big assembly hall at the Miami guild hall, the one they used for big announcements and events. There was a bit of both on the agenda today, so he wasn’t entirely surprised to see that the hundred seat auditorium was full, with a few people standing along the walls, as well. And they were even almost behaving, for the most part, which was a rarity in and of itself.
Still, almost behaving wasn’t the same as paying attention, so he whistled loudly into the microphone to get everyone’s attention. “All right, everyone, settle down. We have a few big things on the agenda, and I know everyone has things they’d rather do than be sitting inside on a sunny day in Miami. So, keep it down, or I will take you over my knee.”
“Promise, Daddy?” Some woman called out from the crowd, causing a round of laughter that Miguel went along with.
Still, he quickly quipped back, “If you want it that bad, I’m sure I can work you into my schedule. I still have a couple of those Slave Collars that we seized from the idiots who wanted to start trafficking through the portals last month, you know.” That got another round of chuckles, more subdued this time. There were jokes, and there was play time, and then there were permanent decisions, after all.
“Now, with that foolishness out of the way, let’s start with a major announcement before we get to the main event. By now, you should all have seen the post on the forums about the kids in Atlanta who went and snuck out to the Demon’s Dungeon down in the Everglades through the portals, and what the Demon set as the price for them not spending the next eternity or so cleaning up the ‘messes’ in the Breeding Halls. I’ve spoken with Brice Warner, the head of the Atlanta guild, and father to one of the kids in question, and he confirmed everything in the post.”
That threw a wet blanket on the playful atmosphere, but it was necessary. “I have also conferred with the Demon directly. He was, to put it bluntly, pissed at the kind of work these kids were making him do, since who is or is not old enough for certain things is convoluted as hell, especially when you start moving past just humans in the mix. So, the Demon wanted to make sure everyone knew that there would be changes to the dungeon contracts in the coming weeks, and those changes would be made by actual lawyers, which would mean that the harsh, but straight-forward, terms we’ve ‘enjoyed’ in past contracts would be a thing of the past, replaced by even harsher, but less comprehensible legalese.”
That, naturally, was a less than popular idea. No one liked the idea of the Demon of the Dungeon actively bringing in lawyers to make their lives worse. He let them grumble for a moment, before holding up his hands to quiet the room.
“I say that ‘would’ be the case, because I managed to negotiate with the Demon, and get him to agree to a compromise.” That caused some murmurs to break out, so he continued, “Which is why we’ll be laying out a basic contract for all members of the American Guild who are under the age that the System considers an adult to sign. The basics of this contract will be to prohibit them from knowingly entering any dungeon without a party member who is an adult, as recognized by the System. In return, I gave the Demon the schematics to a barrier that I purchased from the System Shop with my personal funds. This barrier will be placed around the desk where new adventurers to the dungeon go to sign the Dungeon Contract and where established adventurers go to buy Escape Charms and other such things from the dungeon, and will keep out anyone not recognized as an adult by the System.”
He paused, and said, “As some of you are already guessing, this means that, should someone be twisted enough to join up with a group of minors and take them into the Forbidden Chambers of Exquisite Pleasures dungeon, they would be forced to go through the entire dungeon on Nightmare difficulty. And I have been informed that Nightmare difficulty includes encounters with ‘Lewd Radiation Slime Lords’, which are basically Captain Hentai, but made from uranium. The Demon is not playing around on that difficulty setting, because he assumes that anyone entering under those conditions is there to try and destroy the dungeon, and he will do anything and everything possible to ensure that they fail.
“However, this agreement allows us to do a better job of keeping children out of not just the Forbidden Chambers dungeon, but out of any other dungeon that may be beyond their current skills, while still allowing for older, more experienced adventurers to mentor the younger generation and help them gain experience and levels. I have already spoken with the regional Guild leaders, and they’ve agreed that this is a necessary step, as we continue to adjust to the new world, under the System. If, for some reason, you have a problem with this, you can go into the Forbidden Chambers yourself, and try to plead your case with the Demon. The rest of us would rather not have him get a malicious urge to get clever with his contracts, or find out what happens when he gets together with lawyers.”
A round of bitter laughter told him he’d hit his mark with that comment, so he nodded. “Now, on to the next thing, and the main reason why you all are here, and why this meeting is being recorded and streamed so those who aren’t able to be here can watch. Thanks, in part, to the Demon, we have representatives from the world of Bluemountain who are going to do a technology and information exchange with us. They’ll be teaching us about various uses of magic in the wider galaxy, as well as sharing some best practices from Adventuring Guilds on other worlds, which we may consider adopting, if they prove feasible for Earth, and our unique circumstances. In return, we’ll be giving them a primer on our current technology, since Bluemountain has been locked at a medieval level of technology for generations thanks to religious doctrine, but are now opening up more to trade with the wider galaxy. Since we are at a midpoint between where their technology is, and where the wider galaxy is, the Demon arranged the meeting for us.”
No one was surprised at that. It was the published reason for the meeting, after all. Having people from another world spilling the ins and outs of how their Guild did things, and different uses of magic? And for something that didn’t leave them in debt to the Demon? That was nothing but a win.
