Renegades war, p.6
Renegade's War, page 6
“There are usually consequences. Most rules exist for a good reason. Traffic rules. Rules against crime. That sort of thing,” Blue said.
“My brother lived in the basement his entire life because of some mandatory rule that our parents could have only me.” Paula spat the words, fury dominating her tone. And perhaps something more, something resembling guilt?
Black square. White circle. Blue stared at Ryan’s drawing. A basement with just one lamp…or bulb? Oh, God. “Yes, that’s a correct way to put the word in context.” Blue met Paula’s glare.
“I hate that word,” Paula said, her lower lip quivering for a moment. “It’s a bad word.”
“A word is just a word,” Blue said quietly. “It’s how people use words and what they let them describe that can be bad. For Ryan to grow up in hiding was bad for him, for you, for your entire family.”’
“When we get to Sandslot, my mom and dad say we can have as many siblings as we like,” little Jade suddenly said, making her sister gasp.
“Jade!” Milly covered her eyes.
Ryan giggled. “Maybe you can have a brother. Or a hundred brothers!”
“I don’t think Mom wants to have a hundred babies.” Jade waved her pencil at Ryan. “Perhaps twenty.”
“Oh, my.” Blue had to cover her mouth so the smaller children wouldn’t see her broad smile. When she turned to check on the two older girls, she saw that Paula had started to draw. Not letting on that she’d noticed, Blue sat with the children as they worked on their pictures. The two youngest ones quieted after a while, and when everyone had put down their pencils, Blue spoke again. “I don’t mind sharing my drawing, but it is not…what was the word again, Ryan?”
“It’s not mandatory.” Ryan beamed.
“Exactly. So, I’m really bad at drawing, but this is what I did.” Blue turned her picture around so the children could see.
“Is that…a mug? With something steaming inside?” Milly tilted her head. “Hot chocolate?” She sounded longing.
“It is a mug, yes. And it’s coffee.” Blue didn’t say that it was real coffee. She was pretty sure Aurelia and Tom wanted to keep that stash a secret, only to be used sparingly.
“Why does that describe you?” Paula asked, sounding more curious than angry now.
“Because a person I have come to trust and who saved my life gave me coffee when I was cold and tired, and I got to keep the mug as my own. That made me feel accepted. I must have felt pretty lonely beforehand.” Blue wasn’t sure how it could feel all right to bare her soul like this to these kids, but it did.
“Like when you gave us our own pencil. And started the classroom for us to use.” Milly’s blue eyes welled up. “You accept us, even if we have secret siblings and break Klowdyn’s mandatory rule.”
Blue swallowed. “Yes.”
Milly pushed her drawing to the center of the table, nudging the eraser aside. “This is my sketch.”
Blue could tell the girl was good at drawing. In the distance she could see a large structure and, next to it animals, probably horses. “Want to tell us about it?”
“We were neighbors with one of the boarding schools for children belonging to governmental officials. They have horseback riding on the schedule, and I love horses. I sometimes sneaked over there with my best friend and gave the horses some grass. My father caught us doing it, and then he made it a strict rule for my friend and me to never go any nearer than in this drawing.” Milly pulled the paper back toward her and folded it in half, hiding the sketch.
A strange stirring in Blue’s chest made her heart pick up speed. It was as if she truly knew how it felt to sit on a horse. She could smell it—the horse, the leather, and the fresh air. Shaking her head, she nodded at Milly. “I can imagine he was afraid what might happen if the wrong person caught you.”
“It could have sent the authorities to our house to do a search. They could have found Jade.” Milly sucked her lower lip into her mouth. “And that would have been my fault.”
Blue wanted to object and claim that it wasn’t Milly’s fault, any of the children’s fault, that the Klowdynian law was written the way it was, but no matter what words she chose, Milly would still feel this way.
Jade had drawn what looked like a triangle with something growing out of it, but it turned out to be an ice cream cone. “I love ice cream,” the little girl said seriously. “I’ve had it one time, for my birthday. Mom told me that in Sandslot, everyone eats ice cream all the time. Outside. Everyone can be outside and eat ice cream.”
How was Blue going to be able to push through this first lesson without crying? The children’s history was heartbreaking, and she simply couldn’t let any part of herself break. After Ryan explained about his basement and what he called his “pretty light,” which was really just a bulb, Blue made fists under the table and shoved her blunt nails into her palms to be able to go on. She glanced at Paula, who hesitated briefly but then placed her drawing in the center like the others had.
Blue braced herself and then studied the detailed sketch. A girl sat in the center of a classroom full of children. Around her were twenty-some desks with one child in each. Behind the girl in the center stood a smaller, faint outline of another child. At least ten other children had these faint images of smaller kids behind them as well.
“That’s me,” Paula whispered and pointed to the child in the center. “That’s Ryan.” She placed her finger on the ghost child behind her.
Blue pressed her knuckles against her mouth for a few seconds. “And these?” she asked hoarsely and slid her fingertip along the other children with shadows behind them.
“That’s how many in my class who may have secret siblings as well.” Paula looked up at Blue with darkening eyes. “I can’t tell for sure, but I sort of sensed it. They felt the same as me. Afraid.”
Blue had to take Paula’s hand. She reached out her other hand to Milly, who sat to her left. The other children did the same, and soon they formed a ring. “Listen,” Blue said, once she had her voice under control. “None of us knows what the future holds, but when we are in our classroom, nobody needs to be afraid, and nobody is anyone’s secret. How does that sound?”
Four pairs of huge eyes looked at, no, scrutinized her. When Paula suddenly gave the tiniest of smiles, the other three children relaxed and nodded. Blue exhaled. They had a pact.
Chapter Seven
“You’ve been in here a long time.” Milton poked his head into the small room that Tom had set up as his office.
Aurelia looked up from the maps and rubbed the back of her neck. “Hi, there. Did you run the new recruits into the ground?” Milton had taken it upon himself to train three of Tom’s recruits, one girl and two, far-too-young boys, in the art of driving the off-roader with a cart behind it. It wasn’t as easy as it looked.
“What makes you say that?” Milton sat down on a wobbly stool next to her.
“You have that half grin going on. I saw enough of that at Jeters to recognize it for what it is. You’re gloating.” Aurelia stuck the pencil into the high ponytail she sported for the day. She’d thought of cutting her hair, as the long, black masses were an inconvenience when roughing it, which was her normal way of existing, and they made her easy to recognize, but each time she made up her mind, she hesitated.
“Jeters.” Milton gave an exaggerated shudder, and Aurelia knew the boarding school where she, Milton, and Dacia were kept for years had left marks on all their souls. In Aurelia’s case, she had lived at Jeters for fourteen years. Dacia had come two years after her, and Milton one year after Dacia. “It’s no wonder we don’t mind living in caves day in and day out. Jeters makes this place feel all cozy.”
“I hear you.” Aurelia pulled her feet up and hugged her knees close to her chest. “When I go into the dormitory here, seeing the cots that aren’t very comfortable, I still feel safe and among friends. At Jeters—”
“We hated it with a passion.” Dacia came into the room, nudging the maps aside, and jumped up onto the table. “Here. Ran into Mac. She had some shipment come in, and there was one of these for everyone.” She handed Milton and Aurelia an orange each.
“Oranges?” Aurelia gaped. “What sorcery is this?” She sniffed the fruit, and the fresh scent nearly made her well up. “I should give this to one of the kids. Two of them could split—”
“No. Uh-uh. Mac has already put away extra for the growing members of our rowdy bunch. And she was going to give some of them to Blue to hand out to her pupils.” Dacia crinkled her nose and began peeling her orange. “Speaking of our enigmatic amnesiac, she’s really taken to those kids. I might have suspected it was an act, if I hadn’t been just as sure the kids would have seen through her if she was being fake. After a week in school with her, they’re really starting to relax…even play.”
Aurelia rolled the orange between her hands and lowered her feet onto the cave floor. “She’s good with them. Even that girl, the one that stares a hole in your head if she finds you lacking in any way, Paula, accepts her.”
Milton hadn’t bothered to peel his orange but divided it into four parts and bit into them one by one. “Have you two noticed how she sometimes stops in midsentence or midmovement, as if she’s about to remember something?”
“I have,” Dacia said and placed her peels carefully in a bowl to the side, which Aurelia thought was a good idea. They could be used for tea or cleansing. “That’s one thing. What’s really hard to see is how defeated she looks when it doesn’t happen. I know, I know. I may be reading too much into her body language, but that’s what I think.”
Dacia was rarely wrong in her estimations. Aurelia took some pride in being a good judge of character, but Dacia had some sixth sense when it came to people, especially the ones that others found hard to figure out.
“And the way she acts around you, Aurelia, is also pretty obvious,” Dacia said now, putting an orange wedge into her mouth.
“Wait…what do you mean?” Aurelia was just about to taste her own orange but lowered her hand. “She’s perfectly fine around me.” She frowned at Dacia, who merely smiled broadly.
“That’s what you think because you never notice when someone is being, um, attentive. Like that woman we took across at the south border years ago, before we realized it was too dangerous to get people over to Anglia. She was ready to dig her well-manicured claws into you if you’d paid her a tiny bit of attention.”
“Hey, calm down, Dacia,” Milton said, chewing his orange slowly. “Perhaps long-distance relationships just aren’t Aurelia’s thing.”
“Oh, you two, you think you’re funny.” Grabbing the empty mug sitting on the table next to Dacia, Aurelia raised it over her head as if aiming at Milton. “I don’t see any of you taking the opportunity with anyone in particular.”
“Ha. No comparison,” Dacia said and licked her fingertips. “I at least indulge in a one-night stand on occasion, though it’s been slim pickings lately. Milton is more like you—saving himself for Ms. Right.”
Aurelia saw the shadow that passed over Milton’s face at Dacia’s words and averted her eyes to not embarrass him. Dacia talked about Aurelia being obtuse, but she’d been completely oblivious to Milton’s feelings for her ever since they were at Jeters.
Aurelia put down the mug. Dacia wasn’t wrong about her, the brat. Not that Aurelia was saving herself at all, really. Dacia didn’t have to sound as if Aurelia was some damn virgin. In fact, they’d all gone through the same phases after leaving Jeters—looking for love and being curious about sex—but Aurelia had been the first one who put that part of life on the back burner once they started the Tallawens. When you risked incarceration or death on nearly a daily basis, it wasn’t appealing to expose yourself or anyone else to such danger and heartache.
“Hey. I was only joking.” Clearly regretful, Dacia yanked gently at Aurelia’s ponytail. “You know me. I’m just messing with you.”
“I realize that, and I’m not offended. You know me better than that.” Aurelia shook her head and offered a smile. “It just hit close to home. We’re pathetic. We won’t date any of the Tallawens or any of the people we help. That leaves exactly no one. We can’t date anyone who isn’t aware of our day job. We’d be risking too much.”
“That’s what I mean,” Milton said laconically. “We’re fucked, basically.”
“God.” Dacia covered her eyes for a moment. “Way to put it in an upbeat fashion, Mil. So, back to Aurelia’s Blue.”
Aurelia jerked. She’d forgotten how this ridiculous-turned-somber conversation had started. “She’s not ‘my Blue,’ by the way.”
“You’d think she was, judging from how her eyes follow you as soon as you’re around. Either she’s putting on a great act with the amnesia and casing you, or she’s into you.” Dacia looked pleased with herself as she sat there on the desk, dangling her legs.
“Why don’t we change the topic and take a look at the map you’re half sitting on, fool,” Aurelia said lightly, nudging Dacia, who jumped off the desk and sat down on Milton’s left knee.
“Anything wrong?” Milton asked and threw his peels in with Dacia’s.
“No. In fact, the opposite.” Aurelia took a deep breath and lowered her voice until it was barely above a whisper. “I think I’ve found a new path, one we’ve never used before. It would be perfect for us during Project Maydorian.”
Dacia gasped, and Milton leaned forward so fast, he nearly pushed her off his lap. “What?”
“Yes.” Aurelia’s heart beat harder, making her shiver. “We made a promise that night at Jeters. The Maydorians were the only ones that were decent to us during those years. If it hadn’t been for Mrs. Maydorian, we would have starved after all the pranks we pulled on the faculty members.” Aurelia gripped the seat of her stool.
They had vowed to one day help Mrs. Maydorian and her husband get out of Klowdyn. Aurelia could still feel her terror when the Maydorians had found the three of them sneaking out of the main dormitory and about to run for their lives. So certain they’d been caught, even if Mrs. Maydorian had been a good person to them, Aurelia had expected to be brought before the headmaster and put in solitary again. When Mrs. Maydorian gave them food packages instead and covered for them as they crawled through the tunnel they’d dug over the last year, Aurelia had promised the woman they’d come back for her and her husband. The housekeeper obviously hadn’t believed her, but Aurelia had been totally serious. So were Dacia and Milton.
“This means going back there. To Jeters,” Dacia whispered. “To scout it out and prepare them. I mean, if they’re ready to leave. If they want to.” She shook her head. “They might not even be there. Or they could be dead.”
“Hey, glass-half-empty.” Milton spoke mildly and hugged Dacia to him. “You always knew we had to go back at some point. We—”
“We aren’t going back.” Aurelia stood, placing a hand on her hip. “I’m returning to Jeters to talk to them. And don’t worry. I’m not an idiot and am not about to enter the school area. If the Maydorians are there, they used to go into the village to fetch mail and order groceries for the school. Mr. Maydorian often worked on the trees outside the wall too. I’ll find a way to talk to them without going inside.”
“You can’t go alone!” Dacia jumped up and took Aurelia by the shoulder. “You’ll get caught, and we’ll never see you again.”
“I’m sorry,” a sonorous voice said from the opening behind them. “I couldn’t help but overhear. If you need an extra hand, Aurelia, I volunteer.”
Aurelia stared at Blue, who looked entirely composed, as usual. How much had she heard of what they were talking about?
“Are you spying on us?” Milton rose, his rigid shoulders, along with his hand that rested on his small holster, betraying his anger. He rarely carried the larger rifles, but his aim with the small sidearm was legendary among the Tallawens.
“Not at all. I merely heard Dacia say she was worried about Aurelia going somewhere alone.” Blue didn’t move, merely propped her shoulder against the side of the opening and crossed one leg over the other. Her hands were, per usual, shoved into her jacket pockets. “I’m aware that I’m a stranger here, but I don’t know who I am either, so that kind of makes us even. But going on a mission entirely alone is rarely a good thing.” She held up a hand. “Don’t ask me how I understand this concept. I have no idea.”
“I don’t need company or someone to watch over me,” Aurelia said. “You’ve just started the schoolroom. It’s not a good idea for you to leave the camp.”
“So, I am your prisoner, Aurelia?” Blue’s lips thinned.
Frustrated and feeling maneuvered, Aurelia sighed. “No, but you know the rules. If you truly want to leave for good, we’ll take you to a place, blindfolded and rendered harmless, and place you somewhere safe but unknown. Considering that your memory isn’t back…yet, that’d be tough for you, even dangerous. If you tell anyone you’ve been in a Tallawen camp for two weeks, you’ll attract suspicion, and they would probably keep you in ‘protective custody’ and interrogate you for the smallest piece of intel. Trust me. That is an unpleasant experience.”
Blue blinked, and something seemed to ghost across her strong features. Now that the bruises were barely visible, it was obvious that she was a striking woman. Her short, blond hair lay in precise waves against her scalp, and her blue eyes seemed so light, Aurelia entertained the idea that Blue could see in the dark.
“I can imagine that it must be.” Blue commented on Aurelia’s words. “I have no interest in revealing anything about the Tallawens or the camps.” A faint ember of anger ignited in her eyes. “For heaven’s sake, you must really consider me a deplorable person if you think I can bond with traumatized children one day and sell them out the next.”
Dacia studied them all, one at a time. “A lot’s riding on this decision,” she murmured. “Aurelia, you insist that Milton and I remain here, while you initiate what is ultimately your endgame. What if you’re lost to us because you refused to take another Tallawen? Please, honey? Take anyone. If something happens, you know that we’ll never even get word, and if we do, it’ll be too late for us to take action.”
