Nympho notes love after.., p.19
Nympho Notes (Love After Life), page 19
My chest hurts. Lust told him. The bastard told him!
I don’t know why I expected him to be able to hold a secret from Sin, but that hopeful spark in my heart had some type of belief. Tears well up in my eyes.
“Get out!”
“Answer me!”
“Get! Out!” I scream, shoving as hard as I can into his chest. He barely flinches. My arms ache and my chest heaves as I try again. Faster than I can comprehend, he snatches at me. It completely disorientates me. Suddenly, I’m yanked flush against his chest. His fingers force my chin up, so I’m trapped under his intense gaze.
“Fine! Fine, I want to kill myself but that wasn’t-” I swallow hard, blinking back the daze that fogs my brain. “I wasn’t about to kill myself; I was just messing around.”
“Why? Is your life that bad?” He sneers. “What could be so wrong? Or is it in your pretty, little head? Do you have sad thoughts now and again? Grow up.”
The complete lack of empathy has me reeling. “Fuck you! It’s none of your business!”
Clenched jaw, his lip curls into a snarl. “It fucking is my business. You are my fuck toy. I own your body, and you want to fucking destroy it?”
“Fuck you! You do not own my body!” I thrust a finger into his chest. “You get to borrow my body for a couple of hours a week, that’s all!”
Suddenly, his hand curls around my throat and he squeezes until my eyes bulge. The air is instantly snatched from between my lips. Choking, I scratch at his hands, begging him to stop.
“I’ll let you swear at me once because I broke into your house, but twice?” He tuts and it sends chills to the core. “Don’t fucking test me, Everest. I own you.”
“You don’t-”
“Oh?” He chuckles but there is no humour in his voice. It’s fucking terrifying to watch this beast of a man turn more sinister. “Do you really want to test me right now?”
I’m backed into a corner, cowering under this heaving monster. There is no way I’ll be able to win this fight. I hear my heart pounding in my ears. Desperation claws at me.
“Just get out! Please!”
“No can do, Saddo.”
“Saddo! What the f—” I shriek, suddenly remember his threat and change my words before they can land me in any more trouble. “What is wrong with you? You’re mocking me? Get out now! I’m calling the police.”
As I try to push forward to grab my phone on the cabinet, his hands slam either side of my head. The noise reverberates around the bathroom until I feel dizzy. He traps me under his intense presence. I feel his hot breath brush across my cheek as he slowly leans in. “How will you do it? How will you kill yourself, Everest? Rope?”
The lump in my throat is unbearable when I try to swallow. I can’t meet his gaze. Everything is too intense, too mortifying. I need to get out of here. I need to get away from him.
“Answer me!”
“N-not rope.”
“Then how?”
“I don’t know yet!”
He arches an eyebrow. “Okay. When?”
“I don’t have a date!” I lie angrily, baring my teeth at him in a feeble attempt to threaten him. He snarls as if he can sense the lie.
“Saddo, I’m not going to stop you from killing yourself. I don’t give a shit if you live or not, but don’t fuck up my contract. I have you for five more fucking weeks. Stay alive for those and then do whatever the fuck you want. Got it?”
Anger bubbles up within my chest. It feels as though the room is trying to suffocate me. My hands jump to my hips as I square my shoulders. “And what if I do it beforehand?”
A dark chuckle falls from his lips. It makes the room several shades cooler, and something within me screams to stop poking the beast. “Do you really think that I’m going to let you kill yourself before I’m done with you, Saddo? Your body is mine, your tears are mine, your cum is mine. That means your fucking death is mine too.”
I desperately try to swallow down the lump in my throat. His words are so fucking perverse, so unhinged. What kind of psycho breaks into someone’s house and then fucking permits their suicide but only once they’ve finished fucking them? I always knew there was something devilish about this beast, but with him now, leering over me, that glisten in his unholy eyes… what the fuck did I get myself into?
His fingers stroke my cheek gently. His words, his touch, his presence… it’s all so fucking confusing. “Why are you crying, Saddo?”
I hadn’t realised a tear slipped down my face until he brushed it away with his finger. His movements are slow, sensual, as he scoops up the tear before bringing it between his lips. With a groan, he tastes my sorrow. “So, fucking delicious.”
“Get out.” I’ve lost all kind of power in my voice. It’s a fucking squeak. “I don’t want you here.”
“You don’t get a choice in that, do you? The contract says I can have you whenever, wherever I’d like, and I want it now.”
“Now?”
Rubbing his bulging cock, he smirks. “Nothing gets me harder than watching you cry. Violence makes me really fucking horny.”
It’s insane, he’s insane. I need to fight him, scream as loudly as possible. Maybe I could wake a neighbour and get them to call help? I might be able to give myself time to flee if he’s distracted by sirens. And yet, as those dangerous eyes trail up and down my body, they do something fucking insane to me. It’s as if he has strings wrapped around my desire and he tugs at them. As he unbuttons his trousers, I feel his hot breath caressing my cheek.
“Tell me about your suicide plan.”
This is so fucking wrong. My face is hot, and tears threaten to spill down my cheeks. He is about to fuck me as I talk about my death. What the hell is wrong with him? And what is wrong with me for responding deliciously to it?
“I-” I can’t get the words out quick enough because suddenly he twists me around so that I fall forward into the mirror. My hands get there in time before I ungracefully smash my face into it. It’s awkward because the sink forces my hips out at an awkward angle and grinds his fat cock against the thin material of my leggings.
“I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to stay even more.” The words are like mush between my lips as they slide out. That awful numbness seems to claim me even at the mere thought of nonexistence. “I wish I had that drive to live but I don’t. I put myself in dangerous situations — stupid fucking situations — because I have no sense of self preservation. It’s almost like I want something to kill me. That way there is no blame on me when I finally do it.”
His lips find the sensitive spot behind my ear, and he claims it. Every hair leaps to attention when that tongue slashes against the skin before his teeth rake the skin. Watching his arms snake around my body in the mirror, I shiver. He is so much bigger than me. It’s almost comical how small I look against his heaving chest. When his hands find my breasts, I’m almost convinced I’ve died and gone to Heaven. If Heaven included all the sick perverse feelings that make my pussy gush.
“Keep going.”
“All the sex, the drugs, the booze-” the words catch between my lips when his fingers find my nipples. Squeezing hard, he twists them too until I’m panting. It takes a second to re-gather my thoughts. “All the sex, the drugs, the alcohol, I’m always looking for something to make me feel nothing. It’s like foreplay for death.”
“You want to feel nothing?”
“It’s easier to feel nothing than it is to feel everything.”
There’s a long pause before he makes a noise. I can’t quite put my finger on the noise but whatever it is, it sends a delicious shiver through me. Then, he moves. It’s so fast, so fucking fast, it doesn’t look like he’s working within the laws of nature.
“What are you doing?” I gasp as he pushes me to my knees. I collapse like his own doll for him to position however he pleases. Before I can scramble back up, he forces his hand on my shoulder. His strength is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. My body cannot fight him. He’s impossibly strong!
Then I feel it. The cold air on my suddenly bare ass. I don’t know when he exposed me, all I know is that he suddenly has me bent over, with my naked behind exposed for him. Something tight wraps around my neck. Choking, I scramble at the rope that is now restricting my airways. My eyes bulge from my head and I feel the panic explode.
“What’s wrong? You all talk?” He laughs at me. “No, no, stop screaming, you wanted this! You wanted to fucking hang yourself. I’m just giving you a helping hand!”
“-Stop! Please!” I don’t know why I’m begging. It’s true. It would be so much easier for him to snap my neck than it would be to string out this miserable fucking existence, and yet, my body won’t just accept it. A shriek escapes me, and I buck underneath him like a fucking donkey.
“You feel that fight?” He growls. “That’s called being alive, Saddo, so don’t tell me you want to die. Your body isn’t ready to give up yet.”
Fucking bastard!
“Get! Off!” Burning, my face feels as though it’s going to explode, but I’m not sure if it’s from his cruel words or the tightness of the rope that hasn’t relented.
“And as for that other part,” his voice is gruff. It’s much darker than before, as if he’s losing control. “You said you want to feel nothing.”
He slightly releases the rope from around my neck and some type of oxygen floods back into my lungs. Mercifully, I gasp as much as I can fill my lungs with. Just as my brain starts to figure out what’s happening, I catch his reflection in the mirror. His hand pulls back from my back, and he gears himself up to spank me with the other end of the rope.
There’s no time to protest. Suddenly, a stinging sensation shoots through me. With a scream, I thrust forward to avoid the sting but it’s too late. I hear the soar of the rope through the air as he pulls back again and strikes just as quickly. Immediately, the tears flood to my eyes as another shriek leaves me. He spanks me three more times until I’m blubbering.
“Stop! Stop!”
“How about now? What do you feel?”
“Pain! Fucking pain! Please stop-"
I hear the fucked-up satisfaction in his voice. “When you’re with me, there is no room for nothing; you will feel fucking everything. Pleasure, pain, fear, desire, disgust-”
As my fingers grip the floor as if that will make the pain subside, my eyes squeeze shut before widening again. I have no control over my body. I move on autopilot, groaning like a fucking animal. He kicks my thighs apart and I fall forward onto my elbows. He brings the rope to my pussy and presses, before slowly pulling it away.
“Fuck me, Saddo, you’re drenched.” He growls. “Are you sure you don’t like pain?”
“No!”
My cheeks burn red. I feel so fucking humiliated, degraded, and yet so ready for more.
He pulls the rope against my pussy, and it hits my clit deliciously. With a gasp, I leap forward but it only applies more pressure. The pleasure sparks deep within me. He runs it through me again and again, each time it tugs on my throat and gets tighter before it loosens when he yanks it back again. “See, if you weren’t turned on, you’d be getting rope burn, but it seems that my dirty little fuck toy is getting off on the rope she tried to hang herself with.”
My eyes squeeze shut. It’s all too much. Unwillingly, I find myself rocking back into the rope. I don’t know how he does it. How the fuck can he get me so close, so quickly, with a rope?
My orgasm slams into me before I have a chance to resist it. The pleasure completely consumes me, near enough knocking me sideways. Sin never relents fucking me with it, forcing more pressure on my exploding clit. Wave after wave, the pleasure continues until I’m a writhing mess. It feels like hours go by before I come to my senses again to see him leering over me, eyes feasting on my trembling naked body hungrily.
Thrusting slowly, he positions his cock over my face. “I’m not going to cum for you, Saddo. You don’t fucking deserve it. But I am going to treat you like the disgusting piece of shit you are. Are you ready to taste my piss all over that pretty little face?”
What? Piss on my face? He’s going to piss on me?!
Horror consumes me. That’s so fucked up! I’ve never done anything like this before, I’ve never even fucking thought of it, and I know I should be scrambling away, screaming my safe word. That is fucking disgusting!
Mist! Mist! It’s on the tip of my tongue.
And yet, terrifyingly, I shiver in delight. Something broken within me leans into the challenge, into the opportunity of degradation. He is the master of all my fucked-up fantasies, and who am I to resist such a tempting offer?
He groans, and without any warning, I feel his hot liquid shoot out of his cock and splash me in the face. It’s sharp and stuns me awake. I expect the sensation to be worse, I thought it would stink or burn, but for some fucked up reason, I fucking love it. Forcing the piss everywhere over my face, he claims every inch of skin until there isn’t a dry patch in sight. I can taste him between my lips, and my tongue hungrily darts out to get more. As soon as the scene is over, I miss it. I don’t know what the fuck has come over me but I’m close to begging for more. The cum dribbles out of my swollen pussy, and I know my face is red and blotchy. The beast leers above me.
“I knew you’d fucking love that, Saddo.” I’ve never seen him look at me with approval before, but now I’ve seen it flashing in those unholy orbs, I crave more. Just as quickly as the look is there, it vanishes. I’m instantly hit with a sense of loss.
“Clean yourself up, dirty whore. Take a few days off. Figure your shit out. When you come back on Friday, I’ll make you wish you never told me your fucking plan.”
As he takes a step away from me, I feel the oxygen return to my lungs.
“Find a reason to live because nobody is going to save you. This isn’t some fairy tale; this is real life. Nobody cares about you because everyone’s trying to deal with their own problems to care about yours.”
“I don’t want to be saved!”
“Oh please,” He rolls his eyes. “Everyone wants to be saved, but no one fucking deserves it.”
Swallowing hard, I must divert my attention to stop the tears threatening to fall again. His words are ruthless, horrendous and completely unexpected. And what’s worse, they have that awful bitter twang of truth to them.
He gives me one last glare of disgust before leaving me alone. “There is always a reason to live, Saddo. Stop being so self-indulgent in your misery and fucking find it.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Everest
Less than a month left
I am so fucking scared.
What the hell am I doing? Have I lost my mind? There is no way in Hell Sin nor Lust will allow me to exit our sex contract. But I can’t stay in a throuple with men who break into my home — who make me cum over the rope I want to fucking hang myself with!
I wipe my clammy hands on my dress, trying to steady my breathing. With a deep inhale, I force myself to move confidently through the hallway. But I know my knees are trembling, and the clumsy taps of my heels on the marble floor reveal everything.
It’s so fucking pathetic. Where is the confidence I usually ooze? Men beg me to step on them, to degrade them, to humiliate them — and yet, these two men are… different. I am their submissive. I am their plaything. It’s yet another reason why I must cancel this sex contract before things get out of hand.
I catch myself in the reflection of a mirror on the wall opposite me, and cringe. I tried to wear the most conservative thing I could find, but it’s hard to do when my entire personality is seducing people.
The dress is long-sleeved but finishes on the middle of my thigh. I had managed to find some dark tights deep in my underwear drawer, but they must be a good few years old because they are incredibly tight. I swear if I make any sharp moves, I might burst out of them and give Sin and Lust the exact show they crave.
My feet seem to move on their own, guided by something unknown, but something inside tells me I’m moving in the right direction. It’s as though somebody has wrapped a velvet tie around my hips and gently guides me toward my doom. I have no choice but to obey. With each step, it feels like I’m being led closer to an inevitable end. Finally, I reach a large, open room, but it’s empty.
Red plumes of smoke blow through the room, and hard base music throbs, like a reminiscent of a party. Lifting my chin, I summon all the strength I can muster, before walking into the centre of the room.
I wait for them to find me.
Seconds tick by before I hear Lust’s voice wrap around my brain like a beautiful whisper, “You’re back.”
It seems to kiss me in all the right places, and just like that, I’m foggy, unbalance, disorientated. I need more, I crave so much more.
“How are you feeling?” In an instant, he is in front of me, materialising as though from thin air. I yelp, stumbling backward, nearly losing my balance. I almost fall but his arm catches me, firm and steady. Heat rushes to my cheeks.
“Careful, Everest.” He gives me a boyish grin. “I wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now.”
“Lust! Where did you come from?”
He frowns. “I was behind you the whole time. Did you not hear me calling your name?”
My mind whirls, and I blink back the confusion. The protest dies on the tip of my tongue. I swallow hard but the solid lump in the back of my throat refuses to budge. I force myself to focus on the task at hand.
“Where is Sin? I’m here to cancel the contract.”
He pales. “What?”
“Sin took it too far, Lust. I won’t allow-”
“You can’t quit.” His wild eyes search mine. “Everest, you need to take time to think about it.”
“I have thought about it! I’ve decided I can’t tolerate it any longer. I don’t feel safe in my own home, and you both know too much about me. Sin will weaponize the suicide thing — I know it. I can’t handle that! It’s too… raw.”
To ease the anxiety building in my chest, I tug at an imaginary thing around my throat as if that will help the air return to my lungs. His eyes latch onto my fingers, and he jolts.
