From this moment, p.8
From This Moment, page 8
“Of course. It makes sense.”
“Grace, I know we’re not what you would call good friends just yet, but would you like to come out to the house? Sit with me and the rest of the significant others while we wait for news?”
“I don’t know.” Hesitating, Grace tried to get her head to stop spinning long enough to put words together. “I don’t want to impose.”
“It’s not imposing if you’re invited. And besides, you should be with people who understand what’s happening, how you’re feeling.”
“Um, okay. Let me grab my stuff and I’ll be there.” Standing on shaky legs, Grace looked around for the ever-present notepad and pen. “You’ll have to give me directions. I’ve only been to your place the one time and I don’t remember exactly how to get there.” Grace wrote as Katrina gave directions and murmured her thanks as she hung up the phone.
“What in the world is going on, Grace?” Her mother stood just inside the doorway to the kitchen, wringing the towel she held with both hands.
“That.” Pointing to the television screen, Grace folded the paper with the directions, stuffed it in her pocket. “Katrina is the wife of a friend of Ray’s from the department. Ray and his crew are at this fire and some of them are trapped inside.” Pushing her hair back with both hands, Grace took a deep breath, trying to think of what she needed. Her mother’s gasp had barely registered.
“I’m going to grab my purse and my jacket from my room and I’m heading over to Katrina’s house. Apparently, all the girlfriends and wives are there waiting for news.”
“Now, Grace, I don’t think you need to be driving--”
“Mom. I’m going. I can’t sit here and not know what’s happening.” Grace rushed to her room, grabbed her things, and headed out again. “I’ll call you when I get there so you know I’m okay.” She shoved her arms through the sleeves of the jacket, tugged her hair from the collar. Plucking her keys from her bag, she walked over to kiss her mother on the cheek. “I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”
Without waiting for a reply, Grace hurried out the door.
She barely remembered the drive to Katrina and Billy’s house. At best, she recalled pulling over a couple of times to check the directions Katrina had provided but the rest was a blur. While she was driving, Grace tried to hold off thoughts of Ray being caught in the fire. Or worse.
Her efforts worked, but as soon as she pulled into the driveway of Katrina’s home, the shaking started.
What if there was bad news waiting on the other side of the door?
What if something had happened to Ray while she was driving over?
What if --?
“Stop it, Grace.” Trying to get a sense of calm, Grace talked herself down in a whisper. “There’s no need to borrow trouble. You’re going to go in and find out if there’s anything to report, but it’s going to be okay. Everything is fine.”
Taking a deep breath, Grace climbed from behind the wheel, slammed the door behind her, and made her way to the front door. She had barely raised her hand to knock when the door opened, revealing Katrina looking worn and worried.
“Hey. Heard you pull up.” Without hesitation, Katrina stepped forward to wrap Grace in a quick hug before waving a hand to the interior of the house. “C’mon in. The others are in the living room. Listen, before we go in…” Now she hesitated. “I know you’re not big on being with a group of people you barely know, so anytime you need to step from the room and take a breather, I understand.”
“Thanks.” Grace gave Katrina’s hand a quick squeeze. “Thanks for understanding.”
“No problem. I was the same way before I met this group. Hard to believe, I know.” She gave a quiet chuckle. “Before we go in there, I just want to say thank you for coming. It means a lot.”
“I don’t know how much help I’ll be here, but I’m glad I came.”
“You don’t have to be of any help. Being here’s enough.” With those words, Katrina led Grace into a spacious living room where a dozen or more women sat, chatting amongst themselves as they sipped water or nibbled on the snacks on the coffee table.
“Hey, ladies. Y’all remember Grace? She’s been seeing Ray.” A chorus of hellos rang out to greet Grace.
“Pull up a seat,” a pretty blonde suggested. “Normally at a gathering of us girls, it would be wine, but we figured we’d stick with water and such in case we have to drive later.”
“Right.” Grace took an empty spot on the couch. “Thanks…I’m sorry. I’m blanking on your name.”
“Amanda.”
“Right,” Grace said again. “You’re seeing David, the guy with the guitar.”
“Good memory.” Amanda beamed. “But we’re more than just dating now.” She held out her left hand, showed off the small diamond ring on her third finger.” Her smile faded. “He’s just got to make it through this thing so we can make it to the altar.”
“He’s going to make it,” Katrina reassured her. “They all are. We have to think positive here.”
“Sorry if this is a stupid question,” Grace began, “but does something like this happen often?”
“Like this?” Curling her legs up under her, Katrina considered the question. “No, fires like this one don’t happen too often, thank the Lord. Not saying house fires aren’t dangerous enough, because they are, but something on this scale? No, doesn’t happen very often.”
“Do they know what happened here?”
“There will be an investigation but right now they’re just focusing on getting the guys out safely and getting the fire under control.” Glancing at the clock on the wall, Katrina murmured, “I thought we’d have heard something by now.”
“Is there anything we should be doing? Can be doing?” As all eyes focused on her, Grace shrugged. “Sorry, I just feel useless sitting here.”
“It’s a feeling most of us know all too well.” Another woman-this one looked old enough to be Grace’s mother-patted her leg. “I’ve been going through things like this for nearly twenty years. It doesn’t get any easier. And to answer your question, no. There’s not much we can do but sit, wait, and pray.” She gave a small smile. “I’m Natalie Fielding, by the way. My husband is a captain in the department.”
“It’s nice to meet you, even given the circumstances.”
Grace sat back and listened as the women around her began to chat again. She heard snippets of conversations about wedding plans, house renovations, and even vacation talk.
How could they be so calm? How could they be carrying on normal conversations when Grace felt like her insides were going to burst?
Rising, Grace walked to a random window, saw the shoreline of the lake. Watched the gentle waves roll across the sand, remembered the feel of being in Ray’s arms on the beach, the feel of his lips on hers.
Would she feel either again?
While she generally held to the belief no news was good news, she couldn’t help but wonder what was happening with the crew. Wondered if everyone was safe, or even alive.
God, please let him be alive.
“You okay?” Katrina’s voice was quiet as she approached, the hand she laid on Grace’s shoulder gentle.
“I don’t know how you guys do this,” Grace admitted in a whisper. “Sit here, like everything is normal.” She turned to face Katrina. “I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin right now, wondering what’s happening and worrying.”
“That’s why we pretend like everything is normal.” Leaning against the wall, Katrina folded her arms as she took her turn to study the lake. “Yes, pretend. Because if we didn’t, we’d all be a sobbing wreck and that’s not good for anyone. But we’re all feeling the same as you. Worried, scared. Wondering when, or if, we’ll see our men again.” She gave a soft scoff. “It’s a tale as old as time, honey. While the warriors are away, the womenfolk will worry ‘til their men come home.” Katrina pinned Grace with a sympathetic look. “This is what it is to be involved with a fireman, Grace. We celebrate them as heroes every day and worry when things go sideways. We know when they walk out the door each day, they may not walk back in again.”
“How do you do it?” Grace whispered. “Where do you find the strength to let them keep walking out the door? To wait and hope they walk back in again?”
“I’ll tell you like my mama told me. My daddy’s a fireman, too,” Katrina told Grace. “If you love him hard enough, you’ll have a never-ending well of strength and courage to draw from.” Katrina shrugged. “It’s worked for my parents for decades. Worked for me and Billy for a long time, too. So there must be something to it.”
“Must be.”
“The question is… do you love Ray hard enough?” The other woman gave Grace a considering look before nodding. “I’d say you’re starting to.”
“What makes you think so?”
“You’re here,” Katrina replied with another shrug. “I’d say it’s as good a start as any.” She slung an arm around Grace’s shoulders. “C’mon. Being alone in your thoughts at a time like this is never a smart idea. Sit back down with us. If nothing else, this crowd is entertaining. Should be enough to keep us distracted for a while.”
So, Grace sat and listened to the women talk. About mundane things, like chores or shopping. About important things, like babies and house hunting. Half an hour passed, stretched into an hour.
Her nerves were wire-thin around the time they hit hour two.
She took to the kitchen, so as not to disturb the others, but she felt the need to pace. To walk the floor with her worries while her brain tried to work out what she knew, fill in what she didn’t. Grace was only a couple of minutes into this routine when Katrina entered the room.
“Why haven’t we heard anything?” Grace demanded in a low tone as she continued to pace. “Surely to goodness they know something by now.”
“I agree.” Forgetting her hair was in a braid, Katrina tried to run an agitated hand through it. “Even my anxiety is notching up at the lack of news.” She took a deep breath, reached for the phone on the wall. “I’m going to make a call.”
But before she could dial the first number, there was a knock at her front door. Grace could hear a pin drop, as the women in the living room had gone silent. She followed Katrina out of the kitchen, stopping short as Katrina opened the front door. All Grace could see was the uniform and felt her legs begin to give way again. Somehow she managed to land on the arm of the couch rather than the floor.
“Mitchell.” Katrina pulled the door open wide, ushered the man inside her home. “Mitch, you know everyone here except Grace. Grace, this is Mitchell Mulvaney, the family liaison for the department.”
Mitchell was a handsome man in his mid-forties, with gray hair at his temples and laugh lines around his eyes. But after the day he’d had in keeping up with the men in his department, he looked years older and exhausted.
“Nice to meet you,” he told Grace before turning to address the rest of the women. “Ladies.”
“Can I get you anything, Mitch? Something to drink?”
“No, I can’t stay long.” He looked at Katrina before taking her hands in his. “Kat, there’s no easy way to say this.”
“Oh, my God.” Katrina gripped his hands hard. “Just say it fast.”
“Billy and a couple of the guys were hurt pretty bad. They were inside when the building collapsed.” Mitch’s voice was somber as his eyes met Katrina’s teary ones. “He’s alive, Kat. They all are, but they’re in rough shape.”
“He’s alive?”
“Yeah, he’s alive.”
“Who are the others?” Amanda asked, her voice shaking. “Mitch, who else was hurt?”
“Captain Fielding and Ray Bedford.”
At the sound of Ray’s name, Grace’s ears began to fill with a buzzing sound as her heart raced. She was suddenly sick to her stomach and she couldn’t quite catch her breath. Her vision began to gray at the edges as she felt herself slide from the arm of the couch.
“Hold on, now.” A woman’s firm voice cut through the buzzing. “Let’s get you in a chair. Head between your knees. Atta girl.”
The moment her breath was back and her vision cleared, Grace could feel the sobs begin to build in her. Doing her best to keep herself together, she sat up slowly, drew in a deep breath, and made her way to Katrina. This time, she hugged first.
“They’re alive,” she whispered. “What was it you said earlier? We have to go with the positive. And alive is pretty positive.”
“Yeah,” Katrina whispered back. “Let’s keep ‘em that way.”
“I’m to take you to Erlanger-that’s where the guys were sent-and get you settled in there,” Mitch said from where he stood by the door.
“Okay.” Katrina pulled back from the embrace and wiped her eyes. “Let me go grab a few things since I’ll probably be there a few days.”
“I’ve got a bag in my car.” At Grace’s questioning look, Natalie shrugged sadly. “Like I said, I’ve been doing this a long time.”
“If you’ll give me the keys,” Mitch started, “I’ll get it for you, Mrs. Fielding.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll get it. You fill in the rest of the ladies while we wait to leave.”
While Mitch told the rest of the women what he knew and answered their questions, Grace slipped back into the kitchen to use the phone. She didn’t think, under the circumstances, Katrina wouldn’t mind if Grace updated her mother. Or if she called her best friend to meet her at the hospital later on in the evening.
Once the calls were made, the women piled into the car. With Mitch behind the wheel, the group began to make their way to the hospital, the interior of the car quiet as each woman steeled themselves and prayed.
Ray felt like he had a ton of bricks situated on his chest. It hurt like hell to try to breathe and his throat felt like it was on fire.
Then came the rest of the sensations.
The pounding of his head, the low throbbing of pain-just below the surface-in his back.
The not-so-subtle burning around his ribs.
He opened his eyes, fought to focus as everything he tried to look at proved to be nothing but a blur of motion and colors. Blinking a few times, Ray tried to remember where he was.
He’d been called out, he remembered. The structure fire. He’d gone in with his crew.
His crew.
It all came back in a rush. The sight of the building collapsing around him and his fellow firemen. The heat of the flames kicking up around them. And the sounds. The creaking and groaning of the building as it fought to stay upright, the crackling of the fire determined to bring it down. And the anguished cries of some of the other men caught in the battle.
He had to find his crew.
Ray struggled to sit upright, surprised to find himself flat on his back in a hospital bed.
“Sir.” A gentle hand pushed at his shoulder. It shouldn’t have taken such a soft touch to lay him back down, he thought to himself. “Mr. Bedford?”
“Yes.” Even to his own ears, Ray’s voice, muffled by an oxygen mask, was rough and weak.
“Do you know where you are?”
“Hospital.” It had only taken a few seconds of hearing doctors calling orders to zero in on where he was.
“That’s right. You had yourself a bit of adventure, Mr. Bedford.”
“Ray.”
“Okay. Ray, I’m Dr. Malone.” He turned his head toward the voice, fought to focus his gaze. The voice was female, older, and firm. “I need to take your vitals so we can see what’s going on with you.” Ray winced at the light now shining in his eyes.
“Can you tell me where it hurts?”
“All over.”
“I bet.” She whipped the stethoscope from her neck, popped the earpieces in place, and listened to his chest.
“My crew,” he croaked when she pulled away. “Where’s my crew?”
“Scattered all through the ER.” She began to run her hands over his ribs, nodded when he flinched. “You guys are going to keep us busy for a while.”
“I need to go find my guys.” Feebly, Ray tried tugging at the mask, the IV. Once again, a hand on his shoulder managed to keep him in the bed.
“Ray. You’re in no shape to be finding anyone. I know we’re looking at a concussion and some broken ribs, at the very least. I need to run scans to make sure you don’t have any internal bleeding or damage to your spine or organs.”
“I’m not too bad. I just passed out.” I think, he thought to himself.
“What do you remember from just before passing out?”
“Um, the building started coming down, we were trying to get all the men out in time. I felt the ground move, I think. And that’s it.” He didn’t tell her his last thoughts just before things went dark had been of Grace.
“That’s it because a building fell on you. The rescue crews had to dig you out of a pile of concrete and steel.” When his already pale face went even whiter, she sighed. “You were very lucky. I intend to keep you that way, so we’re running tests. You pass, you go home in a day or two. Deal?”
“Okay.” He tried to nod and was rewarded when the already blurry room began to spin. All he could do was close his eyes and wait for it to pass. Once it had, he reached up and tugged off the mask. “Hey, doc?”
“Yes, Ray?”
“Do you know if they called my family?”
“Yes.” Another gentle, and this time sympathetic, pat before she returned the mask to his face. “They’re already on their way. Try to get some rest while I go order your tests.”
As she walked towards the nurse’s station, he tried one more time to focus his blurry vision before giving up and passing out once again.
8
The waiting room was crowded when Grace and the others arrived at the hospital. Groups of people, ranging from toddlers to older adults, sat in the available chairs, wearing worried expressions as they chatted amongst themselves.
