Who do I truly want to be? She’d never really asked herself that question before. She decided to start with who she had been. A person who’s main priority was survival. But she didn’t’ just survive, she thrived. She had more wealth under her bed than her family had earned over her entire lifetime. But it wasn’t enough, so she started building. Incredible devices that let you jump as high as a building. It was exhilarating, but still something was missing. Hatch. How long had it been since she let anyone in before him? Look how that paid off.

  Magdalene cleared her throat.

  “Ah yes, sorry, just a minute,” Clem stalled.

  She had wanted so badly to fight for Hatch. There was something within that desire that needed to be fulfilled. It became even more powerful when she was able to stand with her friends in combat. Her friends. The words felt foreign in her head. That was who she wanted to be. Someone with purpose. Someone who can keep the people she loves safe.

  “I am ready. I have chosen who I wish to be.” She was incredibly nervous, but refused to outwardly show any weakness. What if I can’t stop it?

  “Very well. Now relax your consciousness. Do not think of yourself as one woman. You are part of something bigger. Something more grand and breathtaking than you could ever imagine. Let yourself join with it. You are not one woman, you are everything.”

  Clementine looked around with her eyes still closed. Small tendrils of golden light were drifting toward her. They were warm, calming. Her nervousness evaporated.

  “Very good, now control it, do not let it accelerate.”

  Clem did her best to try to feel how much kai she had gathered. She thought it was a small amount, but she had to concentrate to prevent it from getting out of control. It felt like a balancing act.

  “You are doing well. Now prepare to release it. Remember your method.”

  My method? Her mind was so preoccupied with holding the kai, that she had a moment of panic when she couldn’t remember it. The serene warmth reinstated itself, and she easily held the method in mind, preparing.

  “Now, individualize. Release your kai.”

  Clem turned her attention to who she wanted to be; someone who can protect the ones she loves.

  Nothing changed, and with her attention on her method, the kai began to join with her at a faster rate. Her heart pounded.

  “It’s not working,” she failed to hide the fear in her voice.

  “Remain calm. Don’t just recall the words, visualize yourself as the person you want to be. Visualize what you would be doing as this person.”

  Right. Okay. Focus, Clem thought. She pictured herself shooting an arrow through the eye of the hasai that had nearly cut down Oren.

  The flow of kai slowed.

  She recalled standing with him, facing that horrible monster.

  It began to reverse.

  She pictured herself, fighting alongside him to destroy it.

  Clementine was so absorbed with her method that it took her a moment to realize she had released all the kai. “Hey! I did it!” She opened her eyes, grinning.

  Magdalene smiled. Clem realized she had never actually seen her smile until then. She was exceedingly beautiful when she did.

  “Again. Today’s lesson is to practice individualization repeatedly over the next three hours. Prepare yourself.”

  By the time she was finished, Clementine was completely exhausted. She stumbled down the hall, both physically and mentally fatigued.

  “Oh, hey Oren,” she said as he approached from the other direction.

  “Hey,” he said quietly. He looked disappointed.

  “I take it your lesson didn’t go so well?” she asked.

  “Not exactly…unless you count sitting still with my eyes closed for an hour as a going well. Khalil says we’ll try again tomorrow.”

  “Don’t sweat it, most people don’t perceive the kai on their first try.”

  “What about you? Were you able to see it?” he asked.

  She hesitated. The last thing she wanted to do was discourage him. “Eventually, yes. But it wasn’t easy,” she lied.

  Oren nodded. “You always were a quick study…you look exhausted. What were you doing, running laps around the common room?”

  “Feels like it. Magdalene had me doing individualization exercises for the past three hours.”

  “Individualization?” He furrowed his eyebrows. “You look like you can barely stand. I’ll let you get some rest.”

  “Okay, I’ll fill you in later.” She stifled a yawn and shuffled to her bed. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

  18

  Accountability

  Oren’s body vibrated with energy.

  “Make yourself supple, Sa’di,” Khalil called from across the grassy clearing.

  Oren had gathered enough kai to send waves of warm shivers through his skin. He barely noticed the cold gusting wind.

  “Allow yourself to sway gently with the universal tide, do not resist the motion.”

  This was his twelfth attempt. He worried he wouldn’t have many more left in him after this.

  “Allow yourself to be borne by it. The kai is your vessel.”

  An orange and yellow leaf slid through the air before him. Oren closed his eyes, holding the leaf’s motion in his mind. It danced, floating and skating over pockets of air.

  The warm shivers intensified until they were no longer waves, but a constant buzz. Oren felt a discharge of energy and a deep THWUM filed his ears.

  He cautiously opened his eyes. His perspective in the clearing had changed! He was twenty feet from where he stood when he closed them.

  “Yes! Ha-ha! That was incredible!” He was ecstatic. For three days he’d been trying and failing to catch even a glimmer of kai. Now that it finally happened, everything was clicking into place.

  Khalil came jogging up. Small puffs of air rose from his mouth.

  “Excellent, Sa’di. It is absolutely imperative that you remember the principles behind the shift in order to control it.”

  “I know, I know. One wrong move and I’m spliced with a tree.” Oren walked back to his original spot, inspecting the ground where he stood. He lifted a leaf with an arc cut out of it. The other half wasn’t here.

  “Until you learn to control it, your position will be random. You must never—”

  “Never shift in a confined space, or with anything else nearby. I remember.” Now that the excitement had faded, he was hit with a wave of exhaustion. “I need to try that again. I think I can direct it.”

  Khalil crossed his arms and looked at Oren. “I think not today.”

  “I can handle it, really!”

  “I would rather not carry you back, Sa’di. Tomorrow, after you practice the Forms.”

  Oren knew there was no point arguing when Khalil used that tone. He gathered his things and they began the hike back to the caverns.

  They walked at a leisurely pace. The only sounds were the birds above, and the crunch of dry leaves under their boots.

  “Has she figured anything out yet? With the schematics?” Oren asked.

  “No, nothing yet.”

  “What do you think we’ll do once she does?”

  “That will depend on what she finds, Sa’di.”

  Oren saw he wasn’t getting anywhere, and changed the subject. “So, how do you know so much about gathering? I don’t see how anyone could figure this stuff out without help.”

  Khalil didn’t answer. Oren had nearly given up when he finally spoke.

  “There was a time when those who gathered were far more common.”

  “Where did they all go?” Oren asked.

  “They were systematically hunted down and taken, or killed,” Khalil said solemnly.

  “The Patriarch?”

  Khalil nodded. “Gabrial Penumbra believed that gathering gave too much power to the individual person, that it constituted a threat to his rule, so he eliminated the threat.”

  “You said everyone has certain gifts, right? What kinds of things could they do?”

  “Well, there are those like Clementine, able to create and destroy micro-singularities.”

  “Micro-singularities?”

  Khalil nodded. “Microscopic black holes. They are benders of light, able to conceal themselves, among other things.”

  “What else?”

  “Some could manipulate space-time, generating gravity wells.”

  “Like Breakers.” Oren shivered.

  “Yes,” Khalil said flatly, “Only we called them Desiccants. Over time, their manipulation of gravity manifests in a permanent gravitational aura.”

  “Which is why it feels like they’re tugging at you,” Oren realized.

  Khalil nodded. “Come, we are nearly there.” With that, Khalil began jogging through the trees at a quick pace. It wasn’t long before they heard the sound of running water.

  As they approached the pathway leading up behind the waterfall, Khalil slowed and turned to Oren. “Sa’di, there is one more thing.”

  “Yes?”

  “There is a mess in the storage room that requires your attention.”

  Oren slumped. Not enough energy to practice gathering, but enough to clean up the pantry? “Yes, Sifu,” he muttered.

  They made their way up the hidden curving stone steps and into the tunnel behind the waterfall. The gray metal security door at the back was closed. Oren arranged the small row of symbols embedded into the rock beside it. There was a click, and he pushed the heavy door open.

  They moved further down the hall and into the common area.

  “I will check on your progress shortly,” Khalil said, and sat beside the low burning fire pit at the room’s center. Smoke slowly meandered high up to the cavern roof, and escaped through a ventilation hole.

  Might as well get this over with, Oren thought. He made his way further down the wide tunnel, and took the right branch where it split. The closed wooden door of the storage room awaited him there. He pulled it open and walked in. There were some toppled canisters of herbs, and several cans with different labels scattered on the floor. Oren picked up the one labeled ‘mushrooms’, and looked around. That’s odd. No other cans on the shelf were disturbed. In fact there wasn’t much of a mess at all. Strange that Khalil would want to ‘check my progress.’ He shrugged and began picking up the cans and replacing them on the shelf.

  “You’re not Khalil.” Oren nearly jumped out of his skin at the voice behind him.

  He spun to find Magdalene, standing in the doorway. He took a deep breath, trying to slow his pounding heart.

  “You’ve just now figured that out?” he asked, making no effort to mask his annoyance.

  Magdalene stepped into the room. “Clementine informed me that Khalil wished to meet me here…” She pulled out a pocket watch and popped it open “…now.”

  “Well Khalil asked me to clean up the pantry, so you will have to work around me,” Oren scowled and turned to finish as quickly as possible.

  Suddenly the door to the pantry shut, and something large was dragged against it on the other side.

  Magdalene let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes.

  Oren’s hand went to his sword. “What’s going on?” he asked with alarm. “Is this a trap?”

  “Of sorts,” Magdalene said calmly, seating herself on a nearby wooden crate. “It would appear that we were unwise to trust in the sincerity of our friends.”

  “Clementine and Khalil? Why would they…Oh.” Oren crossed his arms. “This is ridiculous!” Oren walked over to the door and pushed on it. It didn’t budge. He hit it with the bottom of his fist.

  “Indeed. Far more juvenile than I gave Khalil credit for. They can’t lock us in here forever. We’ll just have to wait them out.” She pulled a folded piece of paper from her pocket and began studying it.

  “Great.” Oren huffed. He walked as far away from Magdalene as possible, which was about six feet, and sat on a crate of jarred preserves. After staring at the wall for several minutes, he began counting cans out of boredom. The room was so quiet he could hear the ticking of Magdalene’s pocket watch.

  She shifted, turning the paper sideways.

  Oren couldn’t help thinking of his old home. The memories were bittersweet, and at the moment, infuriating. They are gone because of her. Because of her selfishness, my parents are dead. His anger began to boil over.

  “How can you just sit there like you haven’t done anything wrong?” He shouted.

  Magdalene lowered the paper to her lap. “And how would you prefer me to sit?” she asked. After a moment her expression softened and she looked at Oren sadly. “Oren, you are young, but not too young to understand that the world is not painted in only black and white. Not every decision is binary, and—”

  “They are dead because of you. Tell me that’s not true,” he dared her.

  Magdalene looked at him for a moment before answering, “Yes, my decision led to their death, but—”

  “That’s all I need to hear. You may not care that they’re gone, but I do, and—”

  “Is that what you think?” There was anger in her voice. “That I don’t care that my family is gone? That my heart isn’t broken? There’s not a day goes by that I don’t think about them. I had no choice.” She was visibly upset. Oren was glad.

  His eyes narrowed. “You don’t get to call them ‘family.’ Not anymore.”

  Magdalene sighed. “Oren…I know that nothing I can say will ever make up for it, but I am truly sorry.”

  “Sorry for what? Sorry you selfishly chose to save your own skin at the cost of Mom and Dad’s?” Oren turned away so she wouldn’t see him struggling.

  “I am sorry you lost them, and I’m sorry it was my fault.” Magdalene bowed her head.

  Silence hung in the room for what felt like ages.

  “Tell me why you did it,” Oren said finally. As much as he hated to ask, he needed to know why their lives were stolen from them.

  “If I had known…” she trailed off, then turned and focused on him. “Something horrible is coming, Oren. Something that could mean the end of humanity as we know it.”

  He looked at her with his jaw clenched and eyebrows furrowed.

  “Back in New Arcadia, my life was not as it appeared on the surface. Historical archival was really more of a hobby. My true vocation was as an agent within C-SEC.”

  “I know, you were a seeker. You hunted down innocent people,” Oren said scornfully.

  “I believed in my work,” Magdalene said matter-of-factly. “I thought I was helping to keep our civilization secure. As it turns out, the Ministry had been working toward the exact opposite at the very highest levels.

  “Months before my own Ascension was to take place, I was tasked with tracking a recreant by the name of Delaja DeSakar. When I took the case, I thought the name sounded familiar. There was an unusual amount of pressure to find her as quickly as possible. It turned out she too had worked for the Ministry. She was an agent with alpha one clearance. That’s nearly the highest possible access. This is why they wanted her found so badly.

  “When I finally did catch up with her, she did not resist capture. She simply handed me a file, and pleaded with me to keep it hidden somewhere safe. I of course dismissed it as a desperate attempt to escape justice. I set the folder aside, and eventually forgot about it. Several weeks later, I came across it again by chance, and out of curiosity, leafed through it.

  “The contents were so outlandish that at first I was amused. But the more I read, the more I became convinced the documents were genuine. They described the Ministry’s intention to betray not only the New Arcadia citizenry, but our entire world. Tens of millions of people, Oren, killed, enslaved, or worse. A global event more devastating even than the Aeternum Wars. Something we could never come back from.”

  Despite his anger, Oren had to recognize the gravity of her words.

  “The documents described a structure, some kind of device that would ‘dramatically alter the face of the planet;’ the result of which would be a ‘more receptive environment’ for those aligned with the cause. I began digging as discretely as possible. If anyone had discovered me I would surely have been erased. It was around that time that I encountered Khalil.

  “I was pursuing a lead on yet another recreant, Aldos Tragan. When I learned he had already left the city, I could not bring myself to report it. I left the records unaltered.”

  Magdalene folded the paper she had been studying and placed it in her pocket. She stood and began pacing.

  “On the eve of what was to be my Ascension, I learned of a complete set of plans for the device, along with their location; the office of the Chief Ward, Variant Marconas. I was faced with a choice. Try to escape, becoming that which I spent much of my life hunting, or accept my fate and allow humanity’s only chance for survival to disappear with me.”

  She stopped pacing. “I was confident that my knowledge of seeker protocol would allow me to cover my tracks and escape without a trace. I even sought more…unconventional precautions. It was a risk, but one I believed was important enough to take.”

  She stood for a moment, then looked at Oren with regret. “Had I known the Ministry had another set of protocols for monitoring its own operatives…things would have been different.”

  She sat back down.

  “But they weren’t, and you still left.” Oren spoke flatly. He was still angry, but the wind had gone from his sails.

  “By the time I found out, it was already too late. You have to understand, Oren, I was devastated; but I refused to let their deaths be in vain. I risked going back to New Arcadia, and eventually found a way to reach a Ko’jin faction inside the city. I shared what information I had with an operative named Hatch Dewanji, who promised to dispatch his most capable agents to recover the plans. You can imagine my surprise when it turned out to be Clementine…a mere child…who had accomplished it. I believe the schematics we now possess outline plans for a device with the potential to bring our world to ruin.”

 

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