Lessons in grey shadows.., p.22
Lessons In Grey: Shadows of Sin, page 22
I grazed my fingers over those beautiful little marks on her neck, my cock twitching once again at the claim I had made. “These are the only bruises you will ever have again. I promise.” I leaned over and kissed her head. “We’re halfway out of the dark, Snowflake.”
22
Emily
November 4th, 2021
I felt heavy and light at the same time, and I wasn’t sure how that could be.
I squeezed my eyes shut and stretched, a groan ripping through me when I felt the soreness that was so clearly Grey still lingering between my legs.
It was the first time in a long time that the soreness in the morning was because of something good. Something solely and purely good.
I turned onto my back, opening my eyes to the darkness of the room. My head fell to one side, my racing heart stopping abruptly when I found the bed slept in, but empty.
Apparently, I had had a smile on my face because it dropped as soon as I saw the space beside me.
I pushed myself to a sit, pushing back my unruly hair, taking in the space where he had slept. I hadn’t woken up at all last night. Not even once. I had fallen asleep before he had come to bed and woke up after he had already gone. How had it been, sleeping with him? Even the thought caused my cheeks to heat.
I had slept in the same bed with this amazing person, the first time I had ever ‘stayed the night’ with any male person, and I had missed out on all of it.
I sighed, the heaviness settling in as my eyes lifted to his pillow, I wondered how long he had…
My thoughts trailed off when I saw a note resting where his head had been not hours before, a little paper rose taped to the top of it.
I chewed on my bottom lip and reached for it.
Good morning, Emily,
I wish I could stay in bed with you all day. I wish I could ravage your body, cover you in marks until I’ve erased every ounce of pain that has settled under your skin, but alas, I have to go.
It’s not because I need to teach, I’d much rather remain here, watching your body react to mine even in sleep, than be at that insufferable school, but something has happened. It’s too much to explain in a simple note, so I will leave it at this:
Diamond sold drugs to a student who had a kid. That child died early this morning from ingesting it. I have to go deal with it, but I will be back as soon as I possibly can.
Deep breath, Snowflake. Let the pain and thoughts roll off your shoulders. You are free. Have fun, buy as many Christmas decorations as you can to make this space feel fully yours, because it is. This is all yours. Make it yours in every possible way, baby.
The closet is filled with clothes that I bought based off of what was in your closet previously. I wasn’t sure if you had checked yesterday.
You are my everything, Emily. Have an amazing, beautiful, wonderful day filled with new firsts and a fresh start.
It was signed with ‘Grey’ and ‘Rags’, along with a heart at the bottom.
That alone brought a small smile back, imagining him drawing a heart like some kid who had a crush.
I finally pushed myself out of bed and took a long, hot shower before going through my closet. God, I loved all of it.
My dad’s words echoed through me painfully, yet the proof was covering this house. Grey had been to my place once, probably, and we hadn’t even known each other three months now, yet he had gotten it all right. I don’t think I would have gotten it this right.
After a long time of just staring, my heart hammering, I finally decided on an outfit.
A pair of sheer black tights with a stitch pattern that made it look like lacey fishnets, bright white combat boots, a deep red wool sweater with a cowl neck that fell to my thighs, and a soft gray knit beanie pinned to my hair. I put on some makeup to cover up the bruises left on my face, a softer dark makeup with light pink lips, but did nothing to cover up the evidence on my neck this time.
I wanted to see it today. I wanted people to see me, see what was on my neck, and wonder who did it, even if that thought was followed by a sneer because of how whoreish I looked. Today I was okay with it. Today I felt a twinge of confidence, and I wasn’t ready to let it go.
I finally headed for the kitchen, taking in the place and all that it was, my phone still on the table. I blushed seeing it, fighting the urge to bite my newly glossed lips as my cheeks reddened.
My phone already had two messages on it.
Ash: Did you 2 fuck? I need EVERY detail.
I may be gay, but God, that man is *chefs kiss*
Grey: Good morning, Snowflake, call me
I rolled my eyes at Ash’s message, smiling at Grey’s only for a third message to pop up before I had the chance to hit the call button to Grey.
Jordan: You’ll never be free of me
My smile fell, that fear growing in the pit of my stomach. No, he didn’t know where I lived, I’d be okay. I was safe. I was out. I had gotten out.
I shook my head and grabbed my purse and keys before heading for the elevator. I braced myself for the horrendous task of opening it only for it to slide far easier than it had yesterday.
Grey must have fixed it before leaving this morning.
I stepped in, hitting the ground floor button before calling him.
He picked up on the third ring.
“Emily,” he greeted.
My face burned bright, a smile fighting to break free. “Hey,” I responded, looking up, wondering how long this elevator would last before it crashed to the ground floor far below. “Thank you for fixing the gate.”
“Of course. How did you sleep?”
“Good, um…” I tugged at the hem of my sweater. “How did…how did you sleep?”
He was quiet a moment. “You’ve never had anyone spend the night before, have you?”
My face was far too hot. Shit. “No,” I mumbled. “No, that was a first, sorry. I was…” I released a nervous laugh. “Before a year ago, I was…it was better to just leave.”
“Have you ever had a real relationship before?”
I thought about it. “Um…I had a boyfriend in High School for three weeks,” I confessed. “He was just trying to get to Charlie though, so…I dumped him.” I covered my face. “God, not what you want to be talking about now, right? It’s not important. How is the drug thing going?” I winced at how strange that sounded coming from my lips. I hated it.
“Fuck,” he half-growled. “I don’t know why it turns me on knowing that I’m going to be your first real relationship, but it does.”
My heart fluttered, liquid heat pooling in my stomach at his deep voice. “Relationship?” I breathed.
“Absolutely. You’re mine, Emily, end of story.”
“End of story,” I repeated quietly. “I know where that one would go.” I cleared my throat and straightened. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”
He chuckled. “I told you I would always pick up. You’re going Christmas shopping today, right?”
My smile widened “Um, yeah. Yes. I’m going to that place on Scarlet,” I went on when the doors finally opened. I pushed the gate open and waved to Jerry as I stepped out, heading for the doors. “The place they built just for this time of year. It has all of the best decorations, but do you know where I could get a good tree? Mom was always in charge of that.”
He thought about it a moment. “Briarbridge Park,” he answered. “On the far side, they should have some trees that’ll fit your place.”
My place.
I waved a cab. “Thank you. You should get back to class.” I wanted to talk to him all day. I wanted him to be here, with me. I wanted to stitch him into my very soul so that we would never be apart.
“Be a good girl for me and have fun today. I’m proud of you.”
My heart warmed at the sentiment. “Thank you,” I said again as a cab pulled up in front of me. “I will.”
“I’ll be by as soon as I can, okay?”
“Yeah, see you then.” I hung up and slid into the cab. Today was a good day. If I could just hang onto this feeling, the entire day could be good. I could make it good.
~~~
I had a handful of people deliver everything I had bought, and they even set up the tree, despite how difficult it had been for them to get it up. In fact, I was still shocked the tree hadn’t snapped being stuffed into the elevator like it had been. The elevator was large, more of a freight elevator than anything else, but the tree? It was enormous.
I put on Hallmark movies and started decorating, focusing on the tasks at hand and nothing else.
I hung the lights up everywhere, having to borrow a ladder from Jerry in order to reach the highest corners of the loft. Everything a person could imagine for Christmas decorations I had in every shape and size, along with my own flare. Skulls, darker colors sprinkled in with the Christmas colors, fake snow, gothic-esque wreaths, nutcrackers everywhere, and even a mistletoe.
I even bought some Christmas blankets and pillows to toss around my couch.
When I got tired of the Hallmark Channel, I put on The Greatest Showman as I finished decorating. It had been Charlie and I’s favorite movie. We even learned the dance moves.
God, that seemed like a lifetime ago.
It took about thirty seconds into the opening number for me to start singing to the music. I did try and dance, but I was so out of shape, it was pointless, so I stuck with singing while I added finishing touches on the loft.
When the last song came on, The Greatest Show, I couldn’t help but give it every ounce of energy I had left. Something about it just resonated deep within me. I was happy today. I was happy.
No fears, no anger, only a slight bit of pain. I had spent the entire day, from the moment I got up until now, doing what I liked. Every thought I had had about Charlie had been just good memories, nothing tragic or sad, nothing horrible.
I felt good and it was relieving.
The last note was hard though, holding it for so long, but I did it. I belted it out, panting when I was done, laughing, smiling so wide, my cheeks hurt as my eyes fell to the giant ass tree now sitting, lit and decorated, in the far corner of the loft where the enormous windows on either wall met.
God, I felt good, and the loft looked so good.
I turned in a slow circle, taking in my finished place. It was so full of Christmas, Santa could have set up workshop here and—
I froze, my smile dropping.
Ash, Syn, and Grey were all standing near the elevator, holding food and drinks. Ash was smiling brightly, each pair of eyes shining.
My cheeks burned bright red, eyes widening. Fuck. How long had they been standing there. “No—”
Ash shoved her bags of food into Grey’s hands and laughed as she broke into a run, jumping straight into my arms. “That was amazing, Emily!” she cheered, stepping back. “God, it was electric. I could feel it in my bones.”
I swallowed nervously, glancing to Syn.
She smiled, shrugging. “She’s right. You were amazing, and this place?” she breathed out, looking around as they made their way to the island. “You did amazing. I absolutely love it.”
I couldn’t even look at Grey. The last time we had seen each other, he had fucked me into a coma, and now he had seen me doing that? God, it was humiliating. “Thanks,” I mumbled. “H-how long…?”
“Literally the very beginning of the song,” Ash informed me, breaking away to admire all of the decorations.
“How did you even get up here?” I asked, straightening a pillow just to straighten it.
“I took the spare,” Ash smiled. “Navarro did get irritated at that, but all is well now. Gotta wear it on a chain around my neck, which is fine, it goes with everything.” Her eyes lifted to the mistletoe hanging in the walkway behind the couch, her smile widening. “I still haven’t gotten details,” she finally said, giving me a look.
My eyes widened, I didn’t think my face could get any hotter. “I’m not…no. No, you will never get—I’m not talking about it.”
Ash nodded. “Right, right,” she winked.
Oh my God.
Syn gave Ash a look before turning to me. “We wanted to ask you if you were coming to the charity event this year,” she started, her eyes softening. “My parents wanted to know. You’re the only heir left, it’d be nice if you came.”
Ash walked over, joining her girlfriend against the island. “Please? It’d be great if you could come this year. I miss how much fun we had together. Don’t you remember the last time we all went?”
I did, and it felt like a lifetime ago. I couldn’t even remember being that person anymore.
My eyes shifted to Grey. He was leaning over the island on the far side, gripping the counter, his eyes steady on mine. Would he come if I asked him? Did I even want to go?
He lifted one brow, giving me such a miniscule shrug, I was sure even God would have missed it if he hadn’t been looking.
“We could dance together,” Ash suggested, pulling my eyes away. “You, me, and Syn. We could drink, have fun. We could rock the dance floor just like the old days.” Her eyes saddened, regret touching them. “Not like the old days, but good. It’ll be good. New memories. New adventures.”
I searched her eyes for a moment before giving her a small smile. “Let me think about it, okay? When it is?”
She nodded, pushing away from the counter, her smile warming. “December 21st. It’s at the Resnicks this year, super posh, lots of booze. Listen, we have to go, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do before finals, but we brought you both some meals and drinks, enjoy.” She walked over, wrapping me up in her arms. “This place looks great, Em. Just amazing.”
I hugged her back tightly before stepping back. “Thank you. I need to get some work done too.”
“Good thing you’ve got one of the professors in your bed then, huh?” she asked, causing me to blush again.
I chewed on my lip, shrugging, wincing. She was making this so hard.
Ash chuckled. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I swallowed, nodding, pulling at my sleeves. “See you tomorrow. Thank you for stopping by with food. I appreciate it.”
“Anything for you, Em.”
Syn waved at me as Ash took her hand. “See you tomorrow, Emily.”
“Bye Syn.”
I watched after them until the elevator disappeared before turning to Grey, rubbing my arms, nervous. “I wish you would stop showing up every time I start singing.”
He pushed away from the counter, walking around it with a sly look in his eyes. “You have the most beautiful voice,” he complimented, his eyes falling down to my toes before slowly crawling back up. “Fuck,” he mumbled and found my eyes again. “Tell me you’ve eaten today,” he requested. “Tell me you had some water.”
My brows furrowed, my pulse already picking up at his slow prowl my way. “Um…I had coffee this morning and some crackers around lunch, but Ash brought food.”
He sighed, shaking his head, this look of desire filling his eyes. “Shit.” He closed the distance between us, sliding his hand across my jaw and pulling me against him.
His lips slammed against mine, his tongue sliding between my lips as he deepened the kiss.
I moaned, pulling him closer as my senses began to drown in everything that was him.
But all too soon it was over.
He broke the kiss and found my eyes, pulling a whimper from my lips. “You should have had some water.”
My brows furrowed as he stepped back. “What?”
“You’re not eating that junk,” he continued, heading back for the kitchen. “I’ll pay Ash back later, but I’m going to make you real food, and you will drink water.”
I frowned, following after him. “You’re punishing me for not eating? I decorated my entire place.”
“And I love how much it fits you,” he responded with a smile as he tied an apron around his waist, “but yes, and just remember, you’re punishing me too.”
I pressed my lips together as I took a seat on the stool opposite him. “You seem fine.”
He smiled softly. “My cock has been ready for you since I saw you sleeping early this morning, baby, but your health is more important than my more primal urges.”
My face felt hot again as my eyes flicked down to his crotch and back. Shit, the apron was on. Cheater.
He gave me a wink, causing my insides to implode, before heading for the fridge. “Tell me about your day,” he said, pulling veggies out.
I scoffed, shaking my head.
He rose a brow as he rinsed the veggies. “What?”
I shrugged, picking at the counter.
“Emily.”
My eyes lifted back to his.
He was watching me expectantly. “Tell me. I want to know.”
“Why? Nothing exciting happened. I went shopping for decorations, that’s all.”
“So tell me about it,” he pushed.
“It’s nothing like your life. It was mundane.”
His look only deepened. “I don’t care. I like mundane. Tell me about the car that didn’t slow down enough when you were walking across the street, or the lady who bumped into you, making you irritated because your arms were full. I want to know. I want to talk to you. I want to hear all about it.”
I pulled at my sleeves, watching my fractured fingernails bend under the pull of my sweater. I needed to take more vitamins, which I’ve known for a while, I just didn’t care enough to do it.
“It’s been a while since you’ve just talked to someone, hasn’t it?”
My eyes lifted, finding his. “We’ve had conversations,” I reminded him.
He smiled. “Yes, we have, but now things in your life have settled. It’s different now, so tell me about the mundane.”
I thought about it, my shoulders falling, guilt filling me. “Oh” I frowned. “I’m not good at…this,” I said, gesturing to both of us.
