Accidentally in love, p.27
Accidentally in Love, page 27
An exasperated sigh rolled out of him. “Cammy.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Trey, because I did. He’d never hurt me, and I knew that. But I couldn’t trust myself to tell him. Perhaps it was self-preservation and the need to keep up the act that I was strong enough to handle everything life threw at me, but he was the type of person that hearing something like that would lash out and rage. Not on me, but on a very specific target. As wonderful as it would be to have Murdoch’s lights punched out, I didn’t want Trey going to jail, because that’s exactly how my luck ran.
I looked up at Trey from my now comfy, yet still tipping from side to side position on the couch. “Honestly, go back to your girl before she leaves. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Do I need to get you anything?”
“Just my phone.” I closed my eyes. It didn’t help to stop the spinning.
“Where’s that?”
Hell if I knew. “Kitchen?”
He checked and flashed it in my direction before setting it on the coffee table. “I’ll check on you later?”
“I hope I’ll be sleeping.” My eyelids were exceptionally heavy.
He planted a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll see you for dinner tomorrow? We can discuss whatever it was you wanted to talk about tonight.”
“Okay.”
Trey covered me with the throw blanket. “Tomorrow.”
I closed my eyes and listened as he shuffled to the door, which clicked as he shut it. The deadbolt slid into its holding and a weird sound came from underneath. I peered through tiny slits in my tired eyes and spotted the lanyard on the floor. That’s what he pushed under. “Good night, Liam.”
Chapter Seventeen
I dashed into my classroom just as the bell rang and tossed my bag toward my desk. The contents spilled across the floor, a litter of unsorted fabric swatches and a bin of rice and plastic farm animals reminded me of the work I didn’t accomplish last night. “Damn it.” Oh well, they’d need to stay there for now. My students were expecting me at their door.
Walking with purpose, I rounded the corner and spotted Liam, dressed in a pair of black jeans and a button-up. It said casually dressed, but really, on him, it was a smart combination. He looked amazingly sexy and yet, ready to play with the kids. They were so lucky to have all the fun.
“Morning,” I said, strutting over to him, my waves nice and bouncy thanks to the over-conditioning treatment they were awarded.
He gave me a solid once over and my ego inflated just a touch at the way his eyes lingered over my face. “Good morning.” His strong hand reached out and pushed the door open, and the children raced inside, pushing and shoving against the others. He dropped his hand to their level. “Easy does it.” As the children walked by, he met my gaze. “Did you have a nice evening?”
“I got lots of sleep.”
His dark eyes studied mine. “Good. A recharge is always important.”
“Yeah. I didn’t realise I needed quite so much.”
“It happens. Self-care is very important.” A small child, Darian I thought, clung to his leg in a quick hug.
Oh, I got some self-care last night. Sex was an important part of who I was, and I’ll be damned if I was going to let some asshole take that away from me. And when, or if, Trey and I hooked up again, I wanted to make sure I’d be able to handle it. I think I’m good. Besides, I trusted Trey. But it wasn’t him I wanted as much. I stared at Liam.
His head was tipped to the side and his hands were folded in front of him.
“I’m sorry?” It was like he’d said something, and I missed out on it.
“I asked what you did last night.”
I shook my head. “Sorry. Lost in thought. Anyways, I gave myself a facial and hair treatment. It was time.” And drank myself into a stupor too.
He stepped closer to me, so close that students could not pass between us. “Personally, I think you’re stunning.”
I held my breath, unbelieving. This morning I looked pale and deeply hungover. However, it was a sweet thing to say.
He put a little space between us just as I was reaching down to touch his hand. “Do you have lunch plans?”
“Actually, yeah. I was going to make up for all the time I lost last night and attempt to catch up.”
“May I join you?” The last of our students walked in and we closed the door, double-checking that it was latched.
My mouth suddenly went dry and I nodded an affirmative to his invitation, walking in step with him.
The grade one teacher, an elderly lady two years away from retiring, gave me a soft smile. It used to be a warm and genuine one, but it was like she was holding back. In fact, she stepped out of the way as I approached.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Morning.” She disappeared into her class.
I sighed. “You’d think I’m diseased or something.” It was getting tiresome being avoided. I wasn’t going to pass on my bad luck just by talking to them, I wished they understood that.
“They’re just being cautious.”
“By avoiding…” I bit my tongue. “You know, rather than avoid me, maybe they could…” What? What was it I wanted from them? Mainly to not be treated any differently, but obviously, that wasn’t going to happen. I still wanted the interaction, the connection, the fun we used to have. Now it felt like me vs the world and that wasn’t the fun I desired. I stopped at my door. “See you at recess?”
“Supervision.”
“Lunch it is.” I winked and danced into my class.
Lunch couldn’t come fast enough. The warm weather had fired up the wiggle bugs in my herd, and they were antsy. We needed to interrupt our regular centers with a dance mix every thirty minutes. At least the morning flew by and I dismissed my morning group with ease.
Returning from dismissal, I switched from the kids’ dance music over to a more soothing classical mix with the sound of rolling waves in the background. So much nicer. Even a little romantic.
Liam strode in all sexy and confident. “Lunchtime.”
I lowered the volume on the smartboard. “Have a seat.” I pointed to a round table I’d just washed in Lysol wipes.
“You know, I heard there was a garden here.”
“There is.” It was all fenced in and only accessible from inside of the school. Personally, I’d never been in it. It was used with the upper elementary kids and one of their science units.
“Is there a bench there? It’s a beautiful day and I figured it would be nice to eat outside.”
“I honestly don’t know.”
“Let’s check it out. Be adventurous.” He winked and I wanted to fall into a puddled mess. How did he manage to charm me so? Especially since he was keeping a distance because of Trey.
I rooted through my bag and grabbed my meager lunch. In my haste this morning, I’d tossed in an orange and a protein bar. Truly though, it was all the calories I needed. Lunch in hand, I walked over to him. “I’ll lead the way.”
“You’d better.”
He was close enough that I could’ve linked my hand through his, but I held back. He wasn’t ready for that, even if I was. Trey was a moot point. Things between us would be ending tonight.
I pushed open the door to the garden and was instantly taken into another world. Giant planters with a variety of different coloured leaves sat around. I touched the leaves amazed that they were already growing. It was only April, and although it was warm, parts of the city still had snow. The leaves were slippery and plastic. Totally fake. Making my way over to the ivy vines wrapped themselves through the chain-link fence, I felt them, discovering that they were not real. Too bad, although it gave the space a decent amount of privacy. The area itself was put on the far side of the school away from the field and playground. The loud squeals and laughs were audible, but that was about it. I assumed the two cedar trees were part of the reason. The bottoms were still covered, so I guessed that they were a recent addition.
Liam pointed to the bench bathed in the full sun and I sat, turning my face toward the bright light. “I’ve missed this.”
Liam sat beside me. “If I close my eyes, I can make believe I’m in Mexico.”
“No beach though.”
“No.”
The beach was nice. I enjoyed it, not near as much as Tess did. The rolling waves were a part of her DNA I was sure. I preferred sunbathing and a quick dip in the pool.
“I wished the trip was longer.” Liam’s voice broke through my reveries.
I peeled open my eyes. “I wished that too. Or that I’d gotten to know you earlier in the trip.” Like Tess had with Jon. Day one she met him, whereas, with Liam, it had been day five.
“We’ll always have Mexico.” There was a hint of sadness in the last word.
“I’m sorry I never said anything about Trey.”
He turned to me. “Actually, I’m glad you didn’t.”
“What?”
“If you had, I wouldn’t have hung around with you and ended my vacation on a high note. I would’ve been hanging out with my buddies and listening to the endless ways they droned on and on about the resort.”
“They didn’t like it?” What was not to like? Free drinks, free food, endless hot guys parading around, rooms to die for in their size and comfort.
“The crowd wasn’t young enough. Apparently. They did go to the sister resort a few times and hooked up.”
“What about you? Did you hook up?” Judging from the tense neck muscles and the hunched shoulders, I’d say no. I knew he hadn’t with me, but we just didn’t have enough time to get to know each other first.
“Not what I was there for.”
I nodded. “Same. I came because Tess needed to get away. It was a total last-minute whim, but I’m glad I went.”
“Because?” A smile edged out.
“Two reasons really.” I leaned against the brick wall, enjoying the natural warmth of the sun. “I got to watch my best friend fall in love. It was so amazing to see her crawl out of her shell with Jon and do all the things she’d always dreamed of doing. She put aside her insecurities and just did it. And in the process of doing that, she found herself. The person I always knew she was, but she hadn’t yet realised for herself. It was something else. And she’s so happy. Not just because she has a new man, but because she’s just all lit up inside. She changed. For the better.”
Liam leaned his head against the brick wall. “That’s something.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “It really is. Jon lives in Maine though, so they’re struggling a little with making a long-distance relationship work, but I have a feeling in here…” I placed my hand over my heart and gasped at the sensation of touching my boob. It took my breath away for a heartbeat, but only for a moment. “I believe that it’ll work out perfectly. It’s true love. It has to.”
“You believe that?”
I softly snorted. I wasn’t a romantic by any stretch but yeah, a part of me trusted that there was the perfect person for everyone out there. “I have to.”
“Why?”
I stared into Liam’s eyes, all dark and curious. “Because the fairy tales can’t be wrong.”
“And if you were a fairy tale, which one would you be?”
“That’s personal.” But without skipping a beat, I knew who I most identified with. It wasn’t hard for me to see I wasn’t like Ariel, or Belle, or Mulan, or Pocahontas.
“I don’t see that.”
“Of course, you don’t. You’re a guy. But us girls. For the most part, we want the whole story. For our own prince charming to rescue us, sort of, and give us a life…” I tugged down my skirt and stared at my feet as I made little circles with them. In my head, the idea sounded better, romantic even, but as the words slipped out it sounded childish. “You’re right, it’s stupid. And not feminist at all.” If any other female heard me say that, I’d probably be raked over the coals. It’s not like I needed or wanted to be rescued, because I hardly thought of myself as a damsel in distress. I was more manly than most of the girls I knew. I could change a tire on my car and knew enough basic plumping and electrical to fix a minor problem. I didn’t need a man in my life for that. However, I wanted a prince who would sweep me off my feet and treat me like a princess and respect me.
“It’s not stupid, and I’m deeply curious where you’re going with this.”
I had his undivided attention and suddenly, I became uncomfortable. My hands curled around the bench seat and I put my weight into it. I broke away from his stare. “Never mind.”
He opened his lunch bag and unwrapped a sandwich. “What was the other reason?”
“Huh?”
“You said you had two reasons you were glad you went to Mexico, the first being your friend Tess.”
Heat bloomed across my cheeks the way I imagined the flowers budded out here in the sun—fast. “Well, you’re the other reason.”
“I’m flattered.”
I playfully pushed him. “You knew that.”
“I’d hoped, but no, I didn’t know.”
Looking around, I was checking for security cameras, but I didn’t see any. They’d be hard to miss. Thankful we weren’t being watched, I linked my hand through his. He didn’t protest as I predicted.
“I’m breaking up with Trey tonight.” The words fell out before I could stop them. “I want there to be something more between you and me.”
“I don’t want to be the reason you break up.”
Oh my gawd, I was so confused, and I was sure that jumped on to my face.
“Don’t mistake my words. I want to be with you and see where things go with us, but I don’t want you to end it with him because of me. I want you to end it because it’s the right thing to do. I’m not going to pry into how your relationship works, because he seems like a nice guy, a genuine guy. One I can probably be friends with.”
“That would be weird.”
“Maybe. But my point is, if your relationship was strong and lovey-dovey, you and I wouldn’t have happened. There’s a weak link in your chain, and you exploited it.”
“I don’t think I exploited it per se, but maybe I explored with not being with him.”
“I don’t want to be the greener grass on the other side.”
I released his hand. “I’ll have you know that trip to Mexico was the first time I’ve ever cheated on anyone. I’m not a habitual cheater or anything. For all intents and purposes, it was a revenge cheat.”
“Lower your voice,” Liam said, putting his hand level in the air and lowering it.
I hadn’t been aware that I was getting so loud, but Liam had to know the truth. I wasn’t a cheater; I’d just been lax on letting go of Trey before I did anything about it. A gush of air sailed over my lips. “Trey’s been cheating on me for a long time. What I did in Mexico before I met you was revenge.”
“Awesome.” He pushed away from me.
“Hey,” I said, my volume increasing again. “Where do you get off?”
“It’s cool, you don’t get it. That’s fine. Maybe it was a bad idea.”
“Like what? Us?” Please don’t say yes.
“I want you to figure that out. You need to know what you want from a relationship before you go pursuing another. And once you know that, come find me and we’ll take it from there.”
I stood. “I don’t understand you, Liam Donaldson. You say you want to be with me, and when I tell you I’m dumping the guy I’m with to be with you, you get all… female on me.” It wasn’t the right word, but he was so wishy-washy in his feelings it was hard to get a grasp on exactly what I was supposed to be wanting from him.
“I’m trying to be nice.” He rose and faced me. “You need to understand, if you go straight from him to me, I’m going to worry the whole time that you’re just looking for something better to come along. You need to be with Trey, or not be with him, for reasons that have zero to do with me and everything to do with you. Do you get that? I won’t be your runner up prize.”
Ouch. I slumped onto the bench as he opened the door and disappeared into the school. Liam wasn’t a participation prize and he needed to know that. But how could I prove that to him?
Chapter Eighteen
Maybe it was my mood, the whole abrupt ending to a lunch that had been going nicely. I’d felt like we were connecting on a different level, almost like we were in Mexico. Back then, it had only been us. Lunch had been the same way. Just us. And then he had to say what he said. How was I supposed to respond to that?
I stormed to my room and shut the door. Misery hung over me like a dark cloud. It was impossible to keep my sour mood from tainting the start of the afternoon class, and I reminded myself several times that the students were not to blame.
Sighing, I sat at the numeracy station and worked with a couple of children.
“Miss Evans?” Lily’s voice whined as she walked over to me. “I don’t feel well.”
“Where?”
“My tummy.”
“Okay, time to go to the office.” Sick kids were a no-go in my room. If they were sick, they were going home. I didn’t need to catch it, and if the other kids in the class got it, it always took a few more out with it. “Mrs. Barrie?” I called my assistant over.
“Yes.”
“Lily’s not feeling well. Can you take her to the office and have them call home?” There was no way in hell I was making that call.
“Sure thing.”
“I want you.” Lily clung onto my bicep and rested her head on my shoulder.
“I can’t.” Because your dad is fucking creepy. “I need to stay here with your friends. But Mrs. Barrie will take good care of you.” I didn’t want to be mean to Lily after all that went down, but at the same time, I needed to keep my distance. I pushed her off me and over to my assistant.
“Come on, let’s get your bag.”
Lily stopped at the garbage can and threw up.
Ugh. “Take that with you,” I instructed Mrs. Barrie. No sense in having that smell lingering in the class. With Lily gone, I retrieved the disinfecting wipes and cleaned the spots where Lily had hung out, just to be on the safe side. She’d only been in class for thirty minutes, but germs spread like wildfire.
