Merchant crab a litrpg a.., p.28
Merchant Crab: A LitRPG Adventure, page 28
“Oh, yes, sure, right here,” Balthazar said, shaking himself away from his newly found perspective. “Take your pick.”
The skeleton started browsing the shelves as the crab pulled some bags that sat next to them.
“I’ve got plenty more alchemy stuff here too, if you don’t find what you want on the shelves. Plants.” He raised a sack that made a sound of rustling leaves. “Mushrooms.” He pulled on another sack that made a sloshing sound. “And plenty more miscellaneous ones.” He tugged on a bag that made a rattling noise.
“Hold on,” Tom said. “I know that sound. Let me see that.”
The skeleton opened the last bag and pulled a long bone from between all the other smaller animal bones mixed within.
“I can’t believe it!” he said with his jaw wide open into a surprised smile. “It’s Bob’s tibia! He’s been looking for it for weeks!”
“You could tell that just from hearing it?” the incredulous crab asked.
“Lots of years in the business.”
“Right… well, uh… lucky that it ended up here, I guess?”
“He’s going to be so happy when he sees this. He’s been hopping around everywhere on one leg for so long, it’s almost not funny anymore. Almost.”
The golden merchant gave a little sympathetic chuckle as Tom tossed the bone in his sack and went back to checking the shelf. “Nice collection of fungi you’ve got here.”
Balthazar moved behind some boxes, retrieving something from behind them.
“Say, Tom, I think I’ve got something here that you might like.”
“That so? And what might that be?”
“How would you like some semi-fresh goat’s milk?” said the merchant crab, revealing a big clay jug.
“Why would adventurers want to loot that from a dungeon?” asked the merchant skeleton.
“No, I meant for you guys… at the dungeon… because you’re skeletons… made of bones?” Balthazar said, his words slowly fading as he spoke, embarrassment settling over him.
Tom gave the crab an impassive death stare, which was somewhat impressive to the crab as he would think every look from a skeleton would be a death stare by default, and yet that was still somehow different.
“Haha! I got you good!” the raggedy merchant said, bursting out laughing. “I understood what you meant just fine, but your face was priceless!”
Balthazar frowned, displeased at having been made fun of.
“But no, really now,” Tom said, returning to a serious expression, “we’re all just bones. We can’t drink anything. It would just fall right through and splash on the floor. It’s actually kind of insensitive that you’d suggest something like that to me, given my condition.”
The crab stood still, holding the jug for a moment, glancing around awkwardly, unsure of what to do. “Oh…”
The skeleton inhaled deeply as he slapped his knee bone. “HAHAHA! I got you again! You’re a riot, crab!”
“Hilarious,” the annoyed Balthazar said while putting away the jug of spoiling milk. “Let’s just get back to business now, please.”
After a lot more dealing and bantering, the two merchants completed their exchange.
“Alright, you drive a hard bargain, but 350 gold sounds fair enough.”
The skeleton pulled out his own Bag of Holding Money and began counting coins. “You know, I should tell some of my acquaintances on the road about you; send them your way. Could benefit everyone.”
“Hmm, referrals,” said the crab. “I like the sound of that.”
“So long as I get a finder’s discount, ha!”
Balthazar watched patiently as the bony fingers counted the money.
“Say,” Balthazar started. “Were you guys ever charged taxes at your dungeon?”
“Taxes?!” Tom said. “Why in the hell would we ever be charged taxes? And by whom? No town has jurisdiction over our dungeon, and I’d love to see them trying to claim it. Why do you ask?”
“No reason. Was just wondering, but that’s what I thought.”
After being handed the payment, the usual torrent of logs listing the traded items ran through the crab’s vision, who had grown used enough to it to no longer have much of a reaction. As it reached the end, another line appeared.
[You have reached Level 11!]
“Heh,” he quietly said to himself while the skeleton was busy tying his bag shut.
But before Balthazar could do anything with the notification, it started behaving weirdly.
[¥0u hhhhhh###_rE*#*#* ?evel ¿¿!]
“What in the world?!”
The crab gave the side of his shell a couple of hits with his claw.
[You have reached Level 11!]
“Stupid thing. What’s wrong with you now?”
“You alright there, crab?” Tom asked.
“Yes. Yes… it’s nothing, just some annoying thing in my eyes.”
“Alright, if you’re sure…”
“Uh, say, Tom,” Balthazar said, hesitating at first. “You, or any of your partners at the dungeon, ever experienced any kind of… writing showing up in your vision?”
“What do you mean?” the skeleton said, somehow emoting a raised eyebrow, despite having none.
“You know, like text in your eyes that only you can see and gives you information and stuff.”
“I’ve never seen any of that myself,” Tom said, suddenly looking much more serious, “but I’ve heard some vague stories in the past.”
“What kind of stories?” the suddenly eager crab asked.
“Stories about others from our kind messing around with something they shouldn’t, and then they started talking about weird things only they could see, numbers, and other stuff. They’d slowly go mad, and eventually, one day… they’d just vanish, together with those who were close to them, and nobody knew what happened. It’s the kind of story we don’t talk about much, because nobody knows where tale ends and reality begins, and deep down, none of us wants to be the next one to disappear.”
The skeleton placed a hand on whatever came closest to be the crab’s shoulder.
“If you want my advice, buddy, have a strong drink and forget all about that crap. Some things are best not dug into. For everybody’s sake.”
Balthazar stared emptily at the ground, thinking about what he had just heard.
“Anyway, I need to get going before the sun rises. Was nice visiting you, Balthazar. See you next time!”
The other merchant mindlessly waved a pincer at the departing skeleton, his thoughts still reflecting on the story he had been told.
There might have been more like him.
But another part of what the skeleton had shared stuck to his head even more.
He looked around at his fellow inhabitants of the pond. The goblin that had just thrown himself onto his bed of hay. The giant boulder now crossing the water back to his usual spot. And even the young drake that was still asleep by his tent.
He quietly mouthed the words that kept repeating in his mind.
“They’d just vanish, together with those who were close to them.”
THIRTY-SIX
REJECT SYSTEM, RETURN TO CRAB
Balthazar rested on his cushion, staring pensively at his money pouch lying on the ground in front of him.
[Bag of Holding Money (6,668)]
As his mind wandered in thought, his left silver pincer idly played with a coin.
Was the crab self-centered? He’d like to think not, but not once had he considered the possibility of his choices and actions negatively impacting those around him.
Could Tom’s tales be believed? Had there been others before him who gained access to that blasted system who weren’t meant to? And if so, did they truly meet a tragic ending together with those around them?
“I mean,” Balthazar said with an empty stare at the ground, “the skeleton could just be telling fairy tales, myths, or simply be wrong.”
He hopped up from the pillow, still flicking the coin between his pincer.
“And even if they were true, who’s to say they didn’t disappear of their own accord? Maybe they just took off and went on a permanent vacation to somewhere nicer… right?”
He began pacing back and forth in front of his tent.
“Although I don’t really see why anyone would ever do that. Traveling sounds like such a chore. But there’s people up for the strangest things out there.”
He stopped and pinched the coin, eyes still fixed on the ground.
“I’m losing focus here. Where was I? Right! If, for the sake of argument, we assume there’s truth to the tales, and bad things did happen to those who used something they shouldn’t, what could I even do? Nobody told me not to touch… it. I’m just a crab, touching things. How could I be blamed for it? Crab see, crab pinch. That’s just nature.”
He began pacing again, faster.
“What could I even do if some form of… I don’t know, consequences came knocking? I’m sure I could deal with it. I’m not scared, but what if something happened to someone else who lives here? Or maybe even Madeleine? I’m sure that Rye boy can take care of himself. I’m not worrying about him. That’s asking for too much.”
The crab kept flicking the coin back and forth even faster.
“I don’t want the responsibility for that on my shoulders. I don’t even have shoulders to bear it! And what good has this system ever brought to my life? Excluding the ability to speak. And make money. And get pastries. And read. And a spiffy set of claws and shell… Alright, whatever, despite all that, it also brings me a lot of headache. Maybe I’d be better off just stopping, not push my luck any further, and leave the damnable thing alone?”
The coin slipped from his pincer and fell on the sand.
“What do you think I should do?” Balthazar asked, picking up the coin.
The golem sitting by the shore gave him a shrug. “Friend?”
“Ah, maybe that’s what I should do. If I just lie low, don’t touch anything else I shouldn’t, nothing weird or bad will happen.”
Balthazar placed the coin back in the bag and raised his silver pincer to his silver monocle, dislodging it from his eye and unhooking the chain from his shell.
“That includes you, old pal. No spying any hidden information through you. I’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way. I’m sure I’ve grown enough as a merchant to do it fine.”
Stepping inside his tent, he lifted the cover over his hiding hole and gently placed the Monocle of Examination next to the Scroll of Character Creation.
After covering it all up again, the crab stepped back outside. Looking at the corner of his vision, he tried his best to ignore the blinking notification of his level up.
Considering how much that thing had been malfunctioning lately, he didn’t want to risk even bringing it up anymore.
“Back to nature!” Balthazar declared, stretching his arms and inhaling deeply. “No more artificial enhancements. Just pure business crab now.”
Crossing the bridge cheerfully, the crab waved at Druma and Blue, who were playing by the shore. The goblin had at least been wise enough to stop using his fingers to play with her since she suddenly grew up and instead now played a slightly less dangerous game of catch with the drake.
The green goblin gave him a wave back while the blue lizard gave him nothing but an indifferent glare.
“Bah, you’ll come around eventually,” Balthazar said, shrugging off the petulant creature’s behavior.
Arriving at his trading post, the merchant tidied up some bottles while checking for spots in need of dusting.
“No need for silly little letters and numbers in front of my eyes,” he said to himself. “I know all my goods like the back of my claw. And I’ve done hundreds of trades by now. I totally got this.”
The bell by the entrance rang.
“Hello!”
Turning around toward the sound, Balthazar saw a man in leather armor standing next to the bell, his hand still holding the rope attached to it.
“You realize you didn’t need to ring that since I’m right here, don’t you?”
“Oh, uh, sorry,” the man said, letting go of the rope. “I just saw a bell and felt compelled to ring it.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed people really like to do that,” said the crab, stepping forward to meet the man in the middle.
He instinctively squinted at the adventurer for a moment before realizing he could not see the usual level and class above the other’s head.
This was fine for him. It didn’t matter anyway. So long as he had gold, who cared what level the individual was? And his class was probably… something fight-y. He had a set of generic leather armor, a generic sword, and everything else about him was also generic. Likely not a wizard, that much the crab felt confident about. Unless swords could cast spells, too? He wondered if that had ever been a thing.
“Anyway,” Balthazar said, trying to push aside his other thoughts, “what can I do for you today?”
“I got this here thing yesterday.” The man pulled a large bow from his pack and presented it to the merchant. “I can tell it’s enchanted but don’t know what it’s supposed to do. Either way, I’m not much of a bow guy, so I was hoping you’d give me something good for it.”
The crab looked at the ranged weapon in front of his eyes. It had a clear magical glow to it, but he had no idea what enchantment it was. Perfect timing to not be wearing his monocle.
“Hmm, right, I see,” Balthazar said, attempting to look knowledgeable and thoughtful. “Very interesting weapon, indeed. Could be worth something. Maybe not too much, though.”
“Great,” said the adventurer. “What does it do anyway?”
The crab stared at the man.
Sometimes, it was very difficult not to hate adventurers.
“It shoots arrows, my friend,” Balthazar said in a plain tone. “You want money or items for it?”
“Oh, hmm, I don’t know,” the other said. “I was thinking about maybe getting a secondary weapon.”
“Sounds good. What kind of weapon do you want?”
“That’s the thing,” the man said while scratching the top of his head. “I can’t figure out what would be a good choice. Do you have any suggestions?”
The crab felt like he was being played a joke on. He would have little trouble suggesting a weapon to him, had he any idea what class the man was at all.
“Sure thing,” Balthazar said while grinding his mouth parts.
Opening a drawer with an abrupt move, the merchant retrieved a crude metal fork from within. “Here’s a good one for you.”
“Isn’t… isn’t that just a fork?” the generic adventurer reluctantly asked.
“Just a fork? No, no, you don’t know what you’re talking about. This here is a multipurpose tool! Got in a fight and dropped your weapon? Stick one of these in your enemy’s eye and it’s guaranteed to do a lot of damage. Can’t open a locked door? Try ramming this in the lock. It might do the trick. Trying to eat a steak with your hands? Savagery! Use a fork. Great for eating pie too, if you’re one of those hand-having creatures.”
“Oh…” the other said, looking slightly confused about the crab’s words.
“Multipurpose fork! Endless possibilities! You really should take it. You won’t regret it.”
“If it has so many uses, maybe I should? But I still feel like that doesn’t really cover the entire value of an enchanted bow, right?”
“Oh, fine, I’ll throw 10 gold in there to sweeten the deal. Happy?”
The man squinted as he looked up before finally reaching a decision. “Alright, deal!”
“Great!” the impatient crab said, tossing the bow on a nearby rack and shoving the fork into the man’s hand before counting ten coins out of his bag. “All sales are final. Thank you!”
“Wow, hang on, I still had more I wanted to sell.”
With his eyestalks sagging in frustration, Balthazar turned back to the man.
“Of course. What else will it be?”
“I got this from some fancy chest, but I’ve got no use for it,” the adventurer explained while pulling a long robe from his pack. It was scintillating, and its color seemed to shift between blue and purple depending on the angle that light hit it at. It emanated a pure aura of magic to it, and whatever material it was made of, Balthazar had seen nothing like it before.
The defeated merchant stared at the piece of magical clothing held in front of him.
“What do I look like to you, an appraiser?”
The man looked at the crab with a confused expression.
“It means someone who assesses things for others.”
The adventurer squinted slowly.
Balthazar took a deep breath.
“It’s someone who looks at thing and tells what thing is.”
“Ooooh! Gotcha, alright,” the other finally said. “And no, you don’t look like one. At least I don’t think so? Do abrasivers usually have claws?”
The merchant released a sigh, along with a portion of his will to live.
“Just… just forget I asked,” the crab said. “Have you considered putting the robe on to find out what it does?”
“This thing?” He skeptically looked at the piece of clothing in his hands. “No way, it looks ridiculous!”
“It’s not about the looks of it; it’s… Just never mind that either.”
“Do you think it has some kind of protection enchantment?” the man asked, eyes widening.
“Could be, I guess?”
“Maybe it’s a fire protection enchantment? I could use one of those.”
“It could be a lot of things. But if you need protection from fire,” Balthazar said while turning to a nearby shelf. “I’ve got some potions for that around here somewhere. Ah, there they are.”
As he turned back to the adventurer, he found him hunched over the robe on the floor, holding a small lit torch against the fabric.
“What the hell are you doing?!” the crab yelled.
“I’m trying to find out if it has fire protection,” the other said, looking up from the floor and letting the flame touch the robe, which quickly caught on fire.
