Never forever calico cov.., p.28
Never Forever (Calico Cove), page 28
Matt
The weird thing about this secret was, I didn’t know whose it was anymore. I’d lived with what I’d done and I’d told myself for years it was the right thing.
I only had to see the life and career Carrie had built to know that.
If the truth came out, who would Carrie hate more?
Her mother for trying to protect her?
Or me for making the decision to break her heart?
Would she be mad at my dad for the way he made me keep the illness a secret?
None of this was good.
“I was sick,” Patrick told Carrie.
Carrie blinked. “I know that. You told me.”
“No, honey. Not all of it. I was also sick years ago. Back when you were dating Matt. Those last few months of your senior year. It was my first bout with cancer. We…I did everything I could to hide it from you.”
Carrie whirled on me and I prepared myself to take the first blow. “He was sick and you didn’t tell me?”
“Don’t,” Cecelia interjected. “Don’t let her blame you, Matt.”
“I did it,” I shrugged. “I have to own this. Ultimately, I decided not to tell her.”
Carrie growled. “What the hell is going on, Matt?”
“You were a kid, son,” Dad said. “And the two adults in your life asked you to do things that were so unfair. This isn’t your shame. Or your secret.”
Dad turned back to Carrie. “I begged him not to tell you. Like a stubborn ass, I thought I could just kick the damn disease and be fine. I didn’t want people in town to know. I didn’t want anyone’s pity. I certainly didn’t want Matt to give up on his dreams for me, but it soon became clear I needed him.”
She nodded, slowly, putting the pieces together.
“And you asked Matt not to tell me?”
“I did. Because I knew you’d give up on your dreams too.”
“So Matt’s dreams were disposable, but mine had to be protected?” Carrie snapped.
“You’re right. Matt deserved better,” Dad said, looking so guilt-ridden I couldn’t take it.
I put my arm around his shoulder while Carrie glared at me.
“And you, Mom?” she turned on Cecelia. “What part did you have in all of this?”
Carrie pulled herself up straight. Like a queen marching toward her own beheading.
“After you told me about the two of you. About Boston. I went to see Matt. I suppose I wanted to know his intentions. When I got there, it was evident Patrick was in bad shape and I knew Matt…wasn’t going anywhere. So I asked him to let you go. For your sake. I knew if he told you about Patrick, you would stay in Calico Cove. Give up everything just when it was getting started for you. I wanted you to have your dream.”
“My dream?” Carrie laughed a weird hard bark, and then she turned back to me. “Those things you said that night at the dock. You were pushing me away. Making sure I left.”
“I’m sorry-”
“For what exactly?” she snapped. “Lying to me? For years?”
“For making you believe for even a second that you aren’t the most amazing person on this planet and I wouldn’t go to my grave loving you.”
She glared at me. The power of her anger had the heat of a super nova. Beside me Dad gulped. Even Cecelia looked nervous.
Then Carrie did the strangest thing and threw back her head and laughed. She laughed and laughed. Until she snorted. Until she had to rest her hands on her knees.
Until it sounded like a sob.
“Oh my God. The three of you think you did all this for me. When all I wanted…” she took a deep, hiccupping breath. “This is my fault.”
What?
“Carrie,” I said, looking at my co-conspirators for support, but they looked as confused as I felt. “It’s not.”
But she shook me off and looked at her mother. “I kept him a secret from you because I knew you didn’t approve. When I should have been telling the world how lucky I was to have Matt Sullivan love me. I should have made it clear how important he was. You thought I wanted to act more than I wanted Matt!”
“Carrie,” I whispered, touching her arm. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not!” she cried. “It’s not okay. Because you’re right. Of course, I would have stayed. Don’t you think you deserve someone who would pick you over her career? Someone who would choose you? Stand by you when you were going through that? Someone who would scream it from the rooftops?”
“You don’t have to…” I looked around but we weren’t loud enough to overtake the actors on stage.
“What? Be so loud? Make a scene? Why? Because you need to control everything? Because you’re the only one who can make decisions for us? Because you thought you knew best? Knew what I wanted? Oh, let me tell you, asshole. I haven’t even begun to make a scene.”
With that, Carrie stormed off in the direction of the stage and the three of us could only stand there and watch her leave, her arms flailing as if she was still fighting.
It was like watching that train leave all over again, my heart getting pulled out of my chest with every step she took away from me.
I turned and glared at my Dad.
“She needed to know the truth. I was just trying to help,” he whispered.
“This is helping?” I cried. “I was making it work. I was-”
“Excuse me,” Carrie said. She hadn’t just been walking off steam. She’d climbed up on the stage and stopped the whole damn show. A microphone was now in her hand.
Every single citizen of Calico Cove in attendance had their phones up, filming her.
“What is she doing?” Dad asked, panicked.
“What she would have done if we’d given her the chance,” Cecelia said. “We should have known, Matt. Both of us. There was never telling Carrie what to do.” She smiled sadly and tugged on my arm. “Come on. Let’s let her have her moment.”
“I’m not sure if you know me,” Carrie said to the crowd.
“You’re Carrie Piedmont,” someone in the audience shouted, and she smiled.
“Yep. I grew up on the island over there,” she pointed to the harbor. “With my mom and Gran and my sister. You’ve all heard about the curse, right? Every generation will be born a woman and…”
She paused and held out the microphone.
“Will fall in love with disappointing men,” someone shouted back.
“That’s right,” Carrie said.
I stepped out into the light cast by the stage lights, and she looked at me. Just another disappointing man in her life. One who broke her heart and forced her to leave. When all I should have done was ask what she wanted.
“What some of you might not know is that I have loved Matt Sullivan since high school.”
“Oh, we know!” Madame Za shouted.
“And look, my dad was plenty disappointing,” Carrie said. “My grandfather was worse. But Matt….”
Everyone held their breath and I stood there and took it. Their sideways glances. All her rage. But I kept my eyes on her and I braced myself for whatever she was going to say.
I will not leave. Say what you want, but I love you and I will not leave.
“Matt Sullivan breaks the curse,” Carrie said.
There was a ripple of gasps of laughter.
“Matt Sullivan is an idiot,” she said, firmly. “But he is the best man I have ever known.”
Cecelia sobbed behind me.
“He is far, far from disappointing. I am lucky that he loves me and I swear, I swear…” Her voice broke. “I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I will do everything in my power to love that man as well as he has loved me.”
I stepped up to the edge of the stage and she, with all the faith in the world, leapt into my arms.
“You’re an idiot,” she said.
“I know.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you. I’m sorry-”
“Stop. Please. Stop. Don’t cry. I can’t handle you crying.”
She leaned back, so beautiful with her swollen eyes and running nose. I kissed her. Kissed her again. People whooped and I didn’t care. My quiet boring life was torn apart and I loved it.
“You can’t… keep secrets like that,” she said. “Not from me. Never again.”
“I won’t,” I promised. “It nearly killed me letting you go.”
She stroked my face.
“Hey,” Weidman barked. “Anyone mind if we go back to the planned horror musical instead of the rom com currently playing here?”
“Sorry.” Carrie said.
“Wait,” she stopped me. “We said no more secrets.” She pulled the microphone back up to her mouth. “Matt knocked me up and we’re having twins!”
I howled. In the shadows, Dad and Cecelia nearly fell over.
Carrie handed Weidman the microphone and we got away from the stage. At that point it might have been too late to save the play. The crowd was up on their feet, applauding and hollering… for us I guess.
It was a legit happy ending.
As soon as we cleared the audience, I set her down on her feet and cupped her face in my hands.
“Marry me. Please.”
“Okay,” she said, like it was just so easy.
I pressed my head to her forehead. “Love me. Please.”
“I always have,” she smiled up at me. “I never stopped.”
“Don’t ever leave me again.”
“Not even if you tell me to go. You’re stuck with me for life.”
Yeah, I thought. With her. For life.
That was the real happy ending.
EPILOGUE
Carrie
It was two weeks before Christmas and I was as big as a house. Matt said that was untrue. But I knew he was lying to me even though he promised to never lie to me again.
Because I was bigger than a house. I was a Malibu Mansion. With swollen ankles and indigestion like acid. I was only going to get bigger and the doctor told me bedrest at six or seven months wasn’t out of the question.
I wasn’t there yet, but Matt was an absolute buzz kill about me leaving the house without him.
Not that we went out much. I’d gotten the script for the super hero movie and was busy creating a character arc that would work for her, while he and his dad were very busy building an addition on the cabin that would be ready before the babies came.
We’d decided Calico Cove would be our home base between movie shoots. That when the time came the twins would go to school here. Matt thought we should sell the cabin and buy something bigger, but this cabin was home. It was the home Matt made for me when he had no hope we’d ever be together.
I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.
Today, however, I was on my own, out to see Gran and Mom since it was Matt’s day off. We needed to do some planning for Christmas because I wanted to have everyone at the cabin instead of on the island, which I knew my mother would disagree to.
Now that the Piedmont House had been restored to its original glory, my mother liked nothing more than to show it off.
It had taken awhile for Mom and me to work our shit out. What she’d done wasn’t cool, but even I could see it from her perspective. She thought she’d been looking out for me. What she’d never understood, because I’d never told her, was how much Matt and I were an…us.
I took my usual spot at the bow despite the cold weather. To my surprise, someone was already sitting there. An older woman in an excellent winter coat and a rainbow toque.
“Hi!” I said and sat down. “Not many people sit out here in the winter.”
“I love it on the bow of the boat in the winter,” she said. “Makes me feel like a Viking.”
I laughed. I’d have to remember to tell Matt that.
“Why do you sit out here? Sea sick?” The woman asked. She wore a pair of thick glasses with black frames. They were retro and cool.
“No. I used to sit out here when I was a kid so I could look up at the boy I had a crush on.” I pointed up to the cockpit.
“Sneaky,” she said.
The boat pulled away from the dock and I knew in about five minutes the wind would get so bad we wouldn’t be able to chat.
“What takes you out to the island?”
“Oh, I come every year to Calico Cove to work before Christmas. I love to go out to the island and hike around the bird colony.”
“Every year?” I said.
“For the past six or seven.” She smiled at me and we cleared the last bit of land. As predicted, the wind blasted us in the face.
Her face was so familiar to me and I wondered if I’d just seen her on the boat in the past?
Then in a quick second, I knew.
Stockard Bartlett.
I fished my phone from my purse.
Me: Drop everything and take the skiff to the island. Hurry.
Matt: Is it the babies?
Me: I’m fine. Just get here.
Matt: This isn’t funny. Carrie?
At just about the halfway point, Stockard smiled at me awkwardly and I realized I was staring at her.
“Sorry,” I shouted over the wind. “My name is Carrie.”
“I know. I saw your last movie.” She shouted back.
Okay. She knew me. We could work with this.
“My family lives on the island,” I said.
“So you’re Bernadette’s granddaughter.”
“Berna…Gran? How do you know Gran?”
She scowled and I wondered if Gran chased this woman off our property with a gun at some point. It was entirely likely.
We reached the dock on the island and after the initial jostle we both stood. “Anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you,” she said and walked toward the gangway.
“Would you like to come up to the house to have a cup of tea?”
“Is Bernadette there?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll pass, thank you.”
“Oh my gosh, did Gran pull a gun on you? I swear they are not loaded.”
She let out a long sigh. “No. My family vacationed here for years. Bernadette and I were…friends for a few summers before her father sent her to a Catholic boarding school. She was no longer interested in being my friend.”
Oh. Oh no. Matt was coming and she was his favorite author and I just needed to get her inside the house until he got here. Could I lock Gran in her room so Matt could meet his absolute favorite author?
I was not proud of what I did then, but there had to be a perk to being pregnant with twins and being big as a house.
With Meryl Streep like skill I groaned and curled over my belly.
“Are you…are you all right?” she asked, her hand on my shoulder. “Is it the baby?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Oh dear. Let me get help. Get you back to the mainland.”
“No. No, I just need to get to the house,” I said, pointing at the stone house visible over the tree line.
“Are you sure, because…”
I groaned again, laying it on thick. “Yes. I just need to sit somewhere warm.”
“Okay. Okay. Here, lean against me,” she said and helped me down the gangway to the pier. Carlos looked after me, concerned. I turned and mouthed “I’m fine” to him over my shoulder and then “Don’t worry.”
“I’m sorry?” Stockard asked.
“Let’s hurry.”
For a NYT #1 Bestseller who was somewhere in her seventies, she could move. Soon we were climbing the rebuilt deck and pushing open the refurbished wooden door.
“Hello? Anyone here?” I said, and there was a chorus from the back kitchen. Mom came rushing out first to greet me, Gran hot on her heels.
“Hello,” Stockard said. “Carrie seems to be in some pain.”
“What’s wrong?” Mom asked. “Is it the babies? Do you need a doctor?”
“I’m fine,” I said.
“Stocky?” Gran said, stopping dead in her tracks.
“Bernadette,” Stockard said. “Nice sweater.”
She wore a sweater with the Mona Lisa wearing a mustache.
“I better get going,” Bernadette said, turning like she was going to leave.
“Oh,” I gasped and grabbed my stomach again. I might go to hell for this, but it was worth it to see Matt’s face.
“She needs to sit,” Mom screeched, and Stockard, roped back in, led me to a long formal sofa in the living room.
“Thank you,” I said and sat down. I pulled my hat off and unwound the scarf from around my neck. “I just need a second.”
“I will leave you-”
“Stocky, is that really you?” Gran said.
“Hello Bernadette,” Stockard said, lifting her chin like she was daring Gran to say something.
“Mom, this is Stockard Bartlett,” I said. “She’s an incredible author of a very popular series of books. She’s Matt’s favorite author-”
“We were also lovers for one summer,” Gran blurted.
Mom staggered against the wall. I was so stunned I forgot to pretend I was in pain.
“My father found out and sent me to those awful nuns,” Gran said. “If I wanted to come home, I had to disown her, so I stopped returning Stocky’s letters.”
“You know I despise that nickname,” Stockard said.
“What is happening?” I whispered to Mom.
“I don’t know,” Mom whispered back.
“There,” Gran said to Stockard like Mom and I weren’t even in the room anymore. “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? For me to tell the truth. It’s why you keep coming out here every year? Don’t think I didn’t know.”
Stockard opened her mouth and shut it again.
“Carrie!” Matt’s voice came from the back where he would have tied up the boat in the little cove with the boat house. He’d fixed that old Chris Craft up and then taught all of us how to drive it so we could get on and off the island anytime we needed.
He was the best.
“Carrie. Where-”
He came in through the kitchen, his cheeks red, his hair full Viking. His chest was heaving like he’d run the whole way.
“Oh my,” Stockard said.
“Where’s your coat?” I asked him.
