Playing dane florida eas.., p.15
Playing Dane (Florida East University #1), page 15
Throwing back my covers, I go into the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth. My bare feet padding along the cold wooden floor … I make my way to Henley’s room. Last night, I learned something that she carries that hurts her. I feel like I owe her some of mine too.
“Knock, knock,” I say against the door before pushing it open slightly. “You decent? I don’t want to see your ass or nips.”
She attempts to smile. Her head poking out of her covers. “No ass or nips here.”
I rush over and climb under the covers with her. “How do you feel?”
“Like a moron.” She wipes a tear away. “And like hell.”
“It was a rough day for you.” I flip over onto my back, staring straight up. “I’m sorry.”
“Did I talk about it?” Her voice cracks slightly. “How did I get home?”
She doesn’t remember anything from last night. So … she doesn’t need to know Weston came and got her. It would make her feel worse, knowing he saw her in that condition.
“Don’t you worry about it. You’re safe—that’s what matters.”
She’s quiet, and out of the corner of my eye, I watch a tear roll down her cheek.
“I was pregnant once. The due date was yesterday.” She shivers. “It’s dumb. I know it’s just another day. I don’t know why, but it just … really hurts.”
I swallow back emotion. Emotion I’ve pushed down for so long. But seeing someone you love hurt, hurts you. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was Dane’s,” she whispers. “Dane’s baby.”
She doesn’t know how well I’ve gotten to know this man she speaks of. But my heart doesn’t just ache for her right now; it aches for him. For all he’s lost too. I wish I could help them. Both of them. But I also can’t allow myself to be put in a position to be hurt. And this whole Dane and Henley situation … it’s a complete and utter shitshow. One I want out of. It’s evident that whatever they had runs much, much, deeper than I anticipated.
“And that’s why you guys were so close?” I take her hand in mine. “Because you went through that?”
“He became my best friend. He saved me through it all.” She sniffles. “Then, I came here, and Weston saved me. Time and time again.”
I squeeze her hand.
“Now, they are both gone. I lost my friend, and I lost the only person I want.”
I know she means Dane as her friend and Weston as the latter. In a way, it’s nice to hear her say those words. If I had to live with the fact that I’d slept with the one she loved, well, it would suck. Still, telling her the truth about Dane and me right now seems like the wrong thing to do. This is her moment, and I don’t need to pile on or make it more complicated than it already is.
Her eyes grow wide, and she shoots up in bed. “Crap! Coach … he’s going to kill me.”
I sit up next to her, shaking my head. “No, he won’t. Dude thinks you were on the toilet with diarrhea and puking your guts out.”
Her mouth hangs open. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.” I start laughing. “I panicked. I didn’t know what else to say.” I stand up and smack her leg under the blanket. “Practice in forty-five minutes. Get your ass up. Your diarrhea is all cleared up if Coach asks.”
Putting a pillow over her face, she kicks her feet. “That’s it. I’m going to just die of embarrassment now.”
“Forty-five minutes!” I yell and smack her door on my way out.
As much as I wanted to open up to her today about my own struggles so that she didn’t feel like the only fucked up person in the world, I didn’t want to add to her stress. Also, the idea of saying why I am the way that I am out loud is debilitating. And I don’t know if I can do it again.
I can’t risk hurting one of the few people who has been there for me. I’ll tell her one day, just not yet.
Just like I’ll break Dane’s heart … just not today.
seventeen
Layla
I watch a girl I’m training dive into the water, swimming for all she’s worth toward me. These days make me happy. They fill up my heart and clear my head.
A few days ago was when I found out everything regarding Dane and Henley. And even though it was hard, it also gave me a better appreciation of Dane and all the struggles he’d faced. I’m smart enough to know we need to quit while we’re ahead, but I hope he knows how awesome of a person he is and that I truly wish him nothing but the best.
“Grace, that was perfect.” Kneeling down, I give the tall, gangly nine-year-old a high five. “But remember, reach those arms. Your left arm is doing great. Your right arm looks like a broken chicken wing.” I scrunch my nose up. “No good. Nobody wants to be a chicken. So, I need you to reach. I want you to count how many strokes it takes you to get down to the other end. Okay?”
She pulls her goggles down, probably to hide her eye roll from me.
This girl is good. Her mom sought me out to do private lessons with her, and even at a young age, her potential is clear. She’s going to make a name for herself in the sport if she sticks with it.
The door to the pool opens, and Henley walks in, her eyes on Grace as she swims to the other side. Scrawny arms flying out of the water and her feet kicking as hard as they can.
“Dayummm.” Henley points. “Good thing I’ll graduate before she’s in college. She’ll be coming for all the records.”
She gets to the other end and touches the wall, turning around to wait for my approval.
“That was perfect, Gracey. All the pieces clicked, and you looked great.” I give her a cheesy thumbs-up. “You keep doing that, and you’ll be kicking my friend Henley’s records right to the curb in no time.”
“Easy now,” Henley huffs.
I turn toward her. “Hey, if you skip practice again, you won’t have to worry about it. Coach will kick your ass to the curb,” I whisper to Henley before turning back toward Grace.
When Henley showed up to practice yesterday after missing the day before, he was pissed. He made her swim a crap-ton of extra laps. It wasn’t a good day for her.
Grace beams, pulling her goggles up. “Thanks, Layla. Can I go now?”
I peer at the clock and sigh. “Sorry, girl, twenty more minutes. So, a lot more laps. Get your little booty swimming.”
Her adorable face falls, and I laugh.
“I’m kidding. I’m kidding.” Wow, I’m an ass. Tricking a little kid. “Yes, we’re all done for the day.” Looking up, I see her mom. “Looks like your mom is here to pick you up.”
Lifting herself out of the pool like a badass, she grabs her towel and runs toward her mom. “She said I finally got my freestyle form right!” Giving her mother a hug, she pushes her wet swimsuit right against her mom’s dry clothes. “She said I’m going to be faster than Henley Hayes!”
Giggling, she hugs Grace and glances up at me. “We will see you next week, Layla. Thank you!”
“No problem, Mrs. Littlefield.” I smile. “See you next week. And good luck, Grace! Keep up the good work. Oh, and remember to eat plenty! You need your energy!”
As they walk off, Henley punches my arm lightly. “Thanks, dick. Telling a ten-year-old she’s better than me.”
“Nine,” I correct her. “And she isn’t better … yet.”
“Yet?” She scowls. “You’re mean.”
I shrug. “But I did cover for you with Coach. So, really, am I that bad?”
“You told the entire swim team I was shitting my pants.” She breaks out in laughter. “So … yes, you absolutely are.”
I try to keep a straight face but fail miserably and burst into laughter right along with her.
Not long after, she grows quiet. “So … I’m just going to throw this out there. I feel like you’ve been acting weird lately. Like a sketched-out cat. Or a person who stole something.” She holds her arms out. “So, what gives? Are you seeing someone or something?”
This is my chance to tell her the truth. To admit everything between Dane and me.
“Well … actually—” I start.
“There you guys are,” Claire, our sorority president, frantically yells. Her high heels obnoxiously clicking on the tiles. “I’ve been calling you both.”
“Sorry, my phone died.” Henley shrugs.
She’s never been too keen on Claire. Not that I blame her. She tried to have Henley thrown out of the sorority for partying.
“What’s up, Claire?” I walk toward her. “Everything okay?”
“We have a meeting tonight to discuss the next fundraiser. I don’t have time to hold a second one to get everyone who can’t attend brought up to speed.” She gives us both a hard look. “You’re going to make this meeting, right? It’s at seven.”
Welp, there goes my plans with my television. “I’ll be there.”
“Yep, me too,” Henley agrees. “See you then.”
“Thank God,” Claire snaps, turning around and heading toward the door.
We both watch out the large glass windows as she gets into her fancy little car and takes off.
“And here I thought, someone had died. Or that NSYNC had gotten back together,” I deadpan. “No, just a meeting.”
Claire isn’t a bad person. Deep down, she’s actually caring and nice. But she likes rules. She likes to enforce them, follow them, talk about them, hell, even live by them. She annoys me, and I wish she’d let loose sometimes. But … I respect her. And her type A personality.
“Do you think the bun she wears so tightly on the top of her head puts her in a bad mood?” Henley pulls her hair tightly on her head. “Yeah, that has to be it. Because that bitch is grumpy all the time.”
“It’s because she doesn’t eat carbs. Or sugar. Or anything delicious that isn’t rabbit food,” I explain. “I’d be a raging bitch too.”
“True that. Carbs are life.” Henley nods. “I heard she doesn’t even drink coffee because she claims it’s not good for you.”
“What a psycho,” I whisper. “I definitely don’t trust her now.”
She smirks. “Need a ride home?”
“Yeah … walking doesn’t sound all that fun. It’s cold, and my hair is wet.” I head toward the locker room. “Be right out.”
“Hey, Lay, before I forget,” she calls after me, and I brace for her to circle back to the what secret are you keeping conversation.
“Mom is making dinner tomorrow and really wants you to come to it.” She looks hopeful. “Will you?”
I relax and nod. “Yes. I’d love that.”
I might have gotten out of telling Henley the truth, but I still don’t feel good about it. And now that everything seems so blurry with the revelation of Henley and Dane being brought to light, I don’t even know what he and I are anymore.
Not like we were anything to begin with—because of me.
“Thanks so much for allowing me to hijack another family dinner.” I smile at Henley’s parents. “Best cooking ever.”
“Kiss-ass,” Henley whispers beside me before standing up.
She begins clearing the plates, and I help her.
“You hosted me, so you just relax, and I’ll clean up.” I jerk my thumb toward their daughter. “Well … me and Henley. Because we all know she didn’t do jack shit for this dinner.”
“I’m right here.” She pretends to be annoyed. “And I set the table, remember?”
“No, girlfriend. We set the table.” I head toward the kitchen with all the plates I can fit into my arms. “Come on, whine-ass. We’ve got dishes to wash.”
“Thanks, girls.” Mrs. Hayes giggles.
“Yes, thank you for cleaning up,” her husband chimes in. “And for the entertainment.”
“I’m here all night,” I joke before leaving the room.
We drove here after practice earlier and are spending the night. We don’t have classes tomorrow, and practice isn’t until later in the day. So, we can hang out during the morning and then head out to be back for afternoon practice.
I’m so comfortable around Henley’s family. And I’m more than thankful for how they treat me like I’m one of them. I don’t feel like an outsider. And best of all, they don’t pry about my life.
“Your mama’s spaghetti sauce is the best,” I coo. “Why does it taste so different than others I’ve had?”
“Sugar,” she says, rinsing the dishes before handing them to me to load into the dishwasher. “And nutmeg and a pinch of cinnamon.”
“Really?” I’ve never heard of such a thing in spaghetti. But she obviously has it figured out. Shit is bomb. “I’d be the size of a Mack truck if I lived here. Her cooking is phenomenal.”
“It is,” she agrees. “She’s phenomenal.”
Suddenly, I hear more voices from the dining room. Followed by Henley’s mother’s voice.
“Girls, come out here.”
“Sounds like Angela and Wyatt.” Henley lets out a long sigh. “Seeing them makes me sad now.”
Angela and Wyatt are Weston and Dane’s parents. And also, the Hayes’ next-door neighbors and best friends. They spend holidays together. So, seeing them isn’t that surprising.
“They’ll be happy to see you.” I pat her on the shoulder. It’s not that touchy-feely, but it’s the best I can do. “And it’ll be good for you to see them. Maybe it’ll help.”
She plays with her hands nervously, but eventually, she nods and walks toward the voices.
“That’s my girl.” I follow behind.
She’s not the only one uncomfortable. I mean, I’m secretly banging their son. So … that’s weird. And sort of scandalous. I need to tell Henley soon, but I want to give Dane a heads-up first. And since we only talk once a month, I have to wait another two weeks.
“There’s my girl.” Angela makes her way to Henley before hugging her and moving on to me. “So good to see your pretty faces.”
“You too, Mama Ang,” Henley says softly. “How was your trip?”
“Amazing,” she purrs, releasing us. “I wish we could go back.”
They apparently went to St. Lucia to celebrate their anniversary. They are one of those couples you look at and can’t help but envy. Same with Henley’s parents. Even if I don’t think it’s in the cards for me, it’s still cool to see the exception to the rule.
“Dane should be here any minute. He was just taking a quick shower after his run.” She looks at Henley and smiles, her eyes creasing at the sides. “He will be happy to see you. He misses his friend.”
My heart sinks. And I feel like a shit person because of it when they were friends first. What right do I have to get jealous of their relationship? Especially when I’ve worked so damn hard to keep him at a distance.
Henley looks uncomfortable. “Oh. That’s … that’s good.” She swallows hard. “It’ll be nice to see him.”
Understanding fills Angela’s eyes, and she takes Henley’s hand. “You aren’t betraying Weston by seeing Dane for the first time since Thanksgiving. He’s your friend too.”
Henley nods. “Thanks.”
Moments later, the door opens and shuts, and Dane struts in, wearing a light-blue shirt and jeans that fit him just right. His hair looks slightly styled, though I know it’s just the way it always looks. He didn’t have to do a damn thing to it. All that boy has to do is shower, throw on a potato sack, and he’d still melt my panties off.
I fight the urge to chew the inside of my cheek for as long as I can. But eventually, my nerves win, and I’m chomping on that thing like a freaking T-bone steak.
He hugs Henley, whispering something in her ear, and suddenly, images of me slamming my best friend’s face into the pie I spotted in the fridge assault my brain. A feeling flows through my veins, almost crippling me with something I’ve never felt before.
Jealousy. Proving I’ve let this man get too close.
He has control now. I don’t. The thought makes me nauseous.
He doesn’t even look my way. I understand we’re supposed to be secret, but what the hell? He could at least acknowledge my existence.
Is it because Henley is here and he loves her still? Why would that matter? It shouldn’t matter.
But it does. Oh … how it does.
“You remember Layla?” She waves her arm at me. “And, Layla, you remember Dane?”
A small smile plays on Henley’s lips. She thinks she’s playing matchmaker.
I’m officially the worst friend in the history of friends.
I need to get Dane alone and tell him the secret is over. And the relationship might be too. I’ve let him in too far. He’s clouding my vision.
“I do,” he says unemotionally, not making eye contact with me. “How’s it going?”
“Great,” I answer flatly. Confused as to why he’s acting like I killed his puppy.
Last time we parted ways, we were both excited to see each other again. Something must have happened since then. Maybe he’s seeing someone else. That would be for the best. But I can’t say it won’t sting.
I listen to Henley and him make small talk, shifting around the room awkwardly, unsure of where I should be. Eventually, I sneak out of the room and beeline it for the bathroom.
Walking in, I lock the door behind me and look in the mirror. “What have you done?” I whisper to myself. “You knew better. You knew better.”
I had never let anybody take control over anything of mine. Feelings. Ideas. Achievements. Nothing. I was a one-woman show with a clear goal in my mind. Never rely on any man for happiness. Now, look at me. Upset in the bathroom because the guy I’m sleeping with is talking to my best friend and treating me like trash.
A knock at the door startles me.
“Open the door,” Dane murmurs.
Blowing out a breath, I reluctantly do as told. I know I shouldn’t, but something inside of me won’t allow me not to open that door up and let him in.
He walks in, closing it behind him and turning the lock. “I’m surprised you’re here.”
“Where?” I narrow my eyes. “What are you talking about?”
