Beth through time, p.5
Beth Through Time, page 5
“Alright.”
Edmund clasped my gloved hand and led me to the opposite side of the ballroom, away from Anne and Willa. We exited through a side door leading straight outside to a manicured lawn decorated with various topiaries and geometric hedges. The evening air still had a bite to it. It was too early in the season to enjoy the warm summer nights filled with the scent of festive fires and honeysuckle. John and I would heat our sticks of rolled dough over the flames to bake followed by Mrs. Avery’s sugary treats and lemonades.
A particularly frosty gale chilled the bare skin on my arms even further. Perhaps this was a bad idea and we should return to the warmth inside.
Next to me, the duke shrugged out of his jacket. “Here,” he said, placing it around my shoulders.
I clutched the fabric tighter around my neck. “What about you? Are you not cold, Your Grace?”
“I will be fine. I am warm-blooded.” He smirked. “And it is Edmund, remember? We agreed to drop the honorifics.”
“Alright,” I paused before uttering his name. “Edmund. Why did you want to get me alone?”
His smirk grew wider. “Does a gentleman need a reason to want to be alone with an attractive woman?”
I hid my smile against the collar of his coat. The duke offered me his elbow. Together, we walked the outskirts of the garden. Most of the outdoor area was dark, the only illumination a pale glow coming from the moon above and a brighter golden gleam immediately outside the ballroom windows. If anyone inside was glancing out into the yard, I doubted that they would be able to tell we were there.
Were Anne and Willa wondering what I was doing? I was already dreading Anne’s admonishments that would surely follow...
“What are you thinking about?” Edmund asked. “You were frowning just now.”
“You could tell?”
He nodded. “Just a slight puckering right there,” he lightly pressed his finger between my brows, then brushed the pad of his thumb across the fine feathering of hair. “You look adorable frowning.”
“My friends,” I stammered, twisting my fingers. “They are probably wondering where I am.” I looked up at the duke. “I-We should probably return.” His hand finished trailing the side of my face, then he dropped it back to his side. I felt the loss of his touch keenly. How silly to have such strong reactions to a man I barely knew, a man who was never to be mine.
“If you wish,” the duke said, still smiling playfully. “Though I must admit that I have enjoyed our walk together. You are not what I expected.”
I looked up into his eyes. “What were you expecting?”
“I confess, I was not expecting to find a woman as lovely as you.”
I blushed. “No?”
The duke shook his head. “No, but you have beguiled me from the moment I laid my eyes on you. Your fair face framed by that lovely golden hair.” He touched one of the ringlets draped in front of my ear. “You are the most beautiful woman at this ball.”
He stood so close to me, I held my breath. I wished he would close the remaining distance. But he stopped. “I apologize. You are inexperienced; I should not take advantage of our time alone. We shall have plenty of time to get to know each other.”
I sucked in air as my heart sank. Tonight was all the time I would have with the duke. I stared at his handsome face, the proud slant of his lips, and decided I would not be the dutiful sister today. No one could see us from our position, and I assumed that the duke would keep silent whenever he found out who I was. It was unlikely that he wanted to be forced into a marriage with me, so he would keep what I was about to do to himself.
I grasped his shoulder and closed the distance between us. Standing on my toes, I pressed my lips against his. For a moment, he stiffened, his eyes widening at my forwardness, then his lips yielded, and he moved against me. His arm slipped around my waist, lifting me against his body, as our lips moved together and his tongue probed my mouth. I sighed at the sensation of being kissed, his short stubble rubbing against my soft skin, the warmth of his exhales, the musky scent of his skin.
“Lovely,” he murmured, nipping at my jaw. “So lovely.” My lips throbbed from the pressure of his kisses. His hand roamed the front of my dress, his fingers resting on the swell of my bosom. “My precious Willa.”
Hearing the duke whisper Willa’s name while his lips caressed my skin stung. None of it was his fault; he was not aware of my identity, but I could not let this progress any further.
I broke our embrace, moving back. “Your Grace—"
“I think Edmund will do fine.” He glanced at me, a smile tugging at his lips.
“Edmund.” I grasped his hand. “We should return before we are missed.”
His gaze flitted to my lips. “Of course, a mhuirnin, it is only our first meeting, after all. There will be plenty of time to seduce you until you agree to marry me.” The duke winked. I did my best to hide my expression, smiling warily up at him.
“We shall see if you will succeed,” I quipped though I wanted to cry. I was finished with this evening. All I wanted now was to return to my bedroom near Covent Garden.
I slipped off the duke’s jacket and pushed it into his hands. “I should probably head in first so the other guests do not see us together.”
“And get ideas?” The duke smiled warmly, wagging his brow.
“Indeed.” I bit my lip. I was unsure what to say. More than likely I would never see him again. Or if I did, he would be furious about my deception. “Thank you for the dance,” I said.
“Perhaps you could save me another, a mhuirnin? The night is not over yet.”
“Yes,” I told him, though I knew I would fetch Anne and leave as soon as I returned to the ballroom. I turned to him for one last question. “What does that strange word mean?”
His dark eyes gazed at me. “A mhuirnin?”
I nodded.
“It is Gaelic; it means darling.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. I stood on my tiptoes and pressed one last kiss against his lips. Then I left the duke standing in the dark while I slipped through the side door and back into the crowded ballroom.
Moving through the crowd, I was well aware of my flustered face. I spied Anne across the room pacing together with Willa. As casually as I could, I wound my way back to them. Anne scowled as I neared.
She closed the distance between us and hissed. “Where were you?” Her intelligent brown eyes scoured my face, falling to my lips which no doubt were still swollen from the duke’s kisses. Her eyes narrowed further. “What did he do?” Her head moved as she glanced around the room.
“Anne, he is still outside,” I said, grabbing her hand. “He did not do anything. I-I will tell you everything when we are alone.”
Willa linked her arm with mine and Anne’s. “What happened?” she asked. She hushed as she spied the duke’s return. “Wait, we should leave the ball first.” Anne nodded, agreeing with the redhead. The three of us moved through the gaps in the crowd until we reached the hallway leading back to the foyer.
Lady Westham, speaking with a weak-chinned man and his wife who wore enough feathers in her hair to take flight, blocked the exit. Willa let go of my arm and interrupted our host. “Lady Westham, I want to thank you for your gracious invitation to your ball. It has truly been a splendid evening.”
Lady Westham turned away from the weak-chinned man. “Ah, Ms. Balfour, Ms. Easton, and…” she cocked her head towards Anne. “I apologize, I cannot quite remember your name.”
“Ms. Blakeley,” Anne said with a small curtsy.
“That is right. Are you all off so soon? It is rather early still.” Lady Westham’s lip curled. “Why, in my time, I would not leave a party until it was well past midnight, sometimes not till dawn.”
“I promised father I would not stay out too late,” Willa said.
Lady Westham puckered her lips and stared pointedly. “With a duke in attendance who specifically asked for you?”
Willa blushed. “Well, yes. Father wants to ensure that I am well-rested for tomorrow’s callers.”
“And I suppose it is the same way of it for both of you ladies?” Lady Westham’s eyes scanned our faces.
“Yes, Lady Westham,” I said while Anne lowered her gaze demurely.
“Be off then.” She waved her hand as if chasing off an annoying fly. “I have been known to seek out adventure in my youth once or twice.” The elderly woman brushed out of the hallway, her voluminous skirts brushing against ours before she turned her attention to other guests.
At Lady Westham’s dismissal we strode purposefully towards the foyer and our exit. Edmund—the duke—would return to the ballroom, finding me, or rather us, missing. A footman opened the front door.
Once outside, Willa grasped my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. “Thank you for playing along.”
“You are welcome,” I said. “However, I cannot understand why you would not want to meet him. He was...” I blushed. “Perfectly splendid.”
Willa’s brows rose. “Indeed. Is that why the two of you were away for so long?”
Heat crept up my face, turning my cheeks an even brighter shade of red.
“That is what I thought.” Willa chuckled. “Never mind. I am not interested in...that.”
Anne shivered next to me. “Is that it then? Are we finished with the charade? I for one am freezing and would like to return to my room.”
Willa smiled, snatching a mandarin from a pocket in her skirt. “I suppose so. I only agreed to the one meeting at the dance and that has been fulfilled.” She deftly peeled away the outside layer of the fruit and plopped a juicy segment into her mouth. “But promise me,” she said, in between bites, “that you will let me take you both out as a thank you.” She offered a piece of fruit to Anne who accepted it.
I squeezed Willa’s free hand. “Of course, this evening has turned us into friends. You cannot get rid of us now.”
6
Harebrained Scheme
I sighed and plopped down on a seat in the hackney cab. Anne scooted in beside me, chewing the segment of mandarin gifted by Willa. My slippered feet ached from standing, and my lips throbbed from the duke’s kisses. His musky scent still lingered on my skin.
Had that truly been me initiating our kiss? My ears heated, and I hoped I could escape John’s scrutiny when I arrived at the townhouse.
Anne was silent beside me, her hands folded in her lap. I looked at her. From what I could make out in the shadowed cab she looked thin-lipped and annoyed.
“Anne?”
She huffed, unwilling to convey her feelings.
“Are you angry with me?
She sighed. “I need some time to think.” We remained quiet the rest of the ride home.
As soon as we entered the house, Anne shot up the stairs to vanish into her own room.
I took a moment to gather myself before I followed her. When I walked into her room, I found Anne sitting on top of the pink bed covers holding a lilac ribbon.
“Mary gave this to me before I left; it is her favorite ribbon.” I walked over and joined her on the bed. “She wanted me to have something I could wear to remember her by while I was away.”
I glanced at the velvety fabric. “That is sweet of her.”
Anne pushed the ribbon beneath her pillow and turned her eyes on me. “Your behavior today was dangerous. I can understand why you went along with Willa’s scheme but following the duke outdoors?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but she stopped me.
“Do not tell me that he did not kiss you. I could tell something happened when you returned, and if I could tell what if others noticed as well? Who knows what could have happened to you or your reputation? Do you have a care for any of that?”
I lurched back, her words carving into me as if they were knives. “Of course, I have a care.”
Anne frowned and pulled up her legs. “If someone had walked outside and seen you with the duke... The man does not even know who you are, but you could have been forced to marry him.”
Anne was right of course; I had been careless, but I did not want to admit it. “I was helping Willa.”
Anne sighed, looking entirely displeased with me. “That is what I mean. Why even help Willa? You do not know her. This whole plan was strange from the beginning. Besides, I thought you wanted to attend dances and find your own suitor?”
My cheeks reddened. I thought of my introduction to the Irish duke, his dark eyes boring into me as he brushed his lips against the top of my hand.
“I do,” I started.
Anne snorted; it was clear she did not believe me. “You cannot possibly think about the duke. He does not know who you are; his arrangement is with the real Willa.”
Her words hit right on target, barbs stinging my heart. It was foolish to think of Edmund and hope for more. I came to London to enjoy being out in public, to dance and wear pretty dresses. I did not set out to find love; I wanted to flirt and have fun.
Perhaps in the future I could find what my brother had with Rose. Or maybe I would find love as William had with Austin. However, I doubted there was a man from the future waiting for me. I could not trust my own instincts when it came to men. Mr. Danby had fooled me into thinking he loved me. What if something like that happened again? I needed certainty or nothing at all.
My mind wandered back to the duke, picturing the proud slant of his mouth, the way his eyes crinkled when he was amused.
“You are right, Anne. I apologize for roping you into this scheme.” Her face softened, and she grasped my hand. “No, I apologize. I had no right to chide you as if you were a child. We are friends.”
I smiled. “Yes.”
She nodded. “I just worry about you...about myself...about Mary. Sometimes it feels as if all I do is fret. Be careful, that is all I am asking. Follow your heart and marry someone you love or never marry and teach at Rose’s school; it does not matter what you choose as long as it is your decision.” Anne sounded wistful.
Softly, I asked. “What would you do if you could choose?”
“Strange,” Anne snorted softly, her eyes glazed as if she were staring at something in the distance. “No one has ever asked me that before. But that is precisely the problem, isn’t it?” Her gaze returned to me, eyes clear and piercing. “We do not have a choice, not really. Not as long as we are treated as property instead of living, breathing human beings. Why is it that men can drink, fight, and gamble? Why are they free to lose entire fortunes when women are the ones who are left with the consequences?”
“Is this about...”
“My brother?” Anne laughed wryly. “Somewhat, I suppose. I love Randolph, I do. But I cannot help that I blame him...and my poor papa.” Anne sighed, burying her face in her hands. “Oh, Beth. I hope you do not think me awful.”
I laid my hand against Anne’s upper back, rubbing in a manner that I hoped would feel comforting. “I would never. You know me, our situations are not the same; however, that does not stop me from understanding.”
After all, most women were in a similar situation; I was just lucky that John was my brother. It could have been worse, even if he was a bit overprotective.
Anne nodded, rubbing her eyes before dropping her hands in her lap. “I wish I had a choice. There is so much I would do different.” She smiled up at me. “I know you have been eager to join the London season. You always wanted to attend and be a part of the excitement. But I...I never wanted that. Being a wife has never been something I looked forward to, though it has been the only thing I have been expected to do.”
My heart ached for my friend. I wanted to help her, but I did not know how.
“I want to travel and receive an education as Randolph did,” Anne continued. “Why can’t I read history books and study science? I want to travel Europe, see the Alps, swim in the Mediterranean.” Anne slumped forward. “Though it can never be.”
“Perhaps we can inquire at different schools.”
Anne shook her head. “Even if they accept a woman, with what money? My mother, Randolph, and Mary all rely on my making a good match. My mother in particular has been getting more and more desperate after each failed season.” Anne kicked at the floorboards, scuffing the heel of her slippers against the wood. “It hardly matters. Once a suitor finds out I have no dowry, they all bow out to hunt for a better prospect. The silliest thing is that even though I do not want to be married the rejections still sting.” Anne’s shoulders slumped.
“I do not want to marry yet either.”
“What?” A pair of red-rimmed eyes glanced up at me. “Then why were you so insistent on joining the season?”
I snorted. “I said I do not yet want to marry, not that I do not want to dance and flirt and attend parties.”
“But I remember you used to talk about marriage and finding someone to love.”
“I did...” I let out a deep sigh. “Do you remember Mr. Danby?”
“What does he have to do with anything?”
“Hardly anyone knows this but when Mr. Danby was staying in Westbridge he started courting me in secret. He spoke of being in love with me and getting married whenever we met in secret, which was as often as I could get away from John’s watchful eye. My brother seemed to dislike him when he was in attendance during social events, but I was blinded by Mr. Danby’s words and had fashioned myself equally as in love. We had made a plan to elope."
“Beth—"
“I was a fool, a lucky fool. John and Rose managed to catch up to us in time and foil Mr. Danby’s plan. By then he had already shed his mask. Every word he uttered to me had been a lie; he was only interested in my dowry. I was not even the only woman he duped.”
“How has no one heard of this?”
“John and William made sure to silence him and send him off with a constable so my honor would remain intact.”
Anne chewed her lip, understanding in her eyes. “What happened wasn’t your fault. Though I can understand why John has been so insistent on having a chaperon.”
“Not my fault? I trusted him and lied to my brother and to Rose. I never once considered he might not be telling the truth. Was I not wrong for meeting him in secret, for agreeing to elope?”
