The matchmaking of marie.., p.16
The Matchmaking of Marielle Clarac, page 16
While I stood and pondered this, he removed his saber and put it on the nightstand. He also took off his jacket and gloves, leaving him dressed rather casually, and sat down on a chair. Not saying a word, he simply drank his tea. His calm, levelheaded attitude left me perplexed. What had happened to the cold demeanor from earlier that day? He’d driven me away so pitilessly, and yet the tense edge of anger had now vanished completely.
The silence in the air was uncomfortable as well, so I timidly asked, “So, you...haven’t been home yet today?”
In a perfectly normal tone, he replied, “I’m staying the night.”
“I see.”
Is that because he has a night shift today? He’s mentioned before that he has to stay at the palace overnight on occasion. However, a night shift would normally involve starting in the evening, wouldn’t it? Perhaps he has to work late due to the day’s events. That must be exhausting.
His profile, glowing in the lamplight, looked as dignified as always, showing no sign of fatigue. However, he did have a certain air about him—that of a husband relaxing in his bedroom, alone with his wife at the end of the day.
Wait a moment. Does he mean to sleep here, in this room? Is that what he meant by ‘staying the night’? My word!
“Shall I...lock the door?” I asked, unable to form the question directly.
He nodded. “Yes, indeed. We won’t be calling Joanna again, so please go ahead.”
“All right.” I went over to the door again and locked it tight.
So he really does intend to stay here. Is that allowed? We are married, of course, so there’s nothing to feel guilty about as such...but, well, it isn’t our own home. Surely it’s some kind of contravention of workplace discipline?
I didn’t want him to leave, however. It had been days since we’d been able to spend the night together. I was more than just happy about it. My heart was beginning to pound and I could feel my face heating up.
“Is there something wrong?” asked Lord Simeon after I spent a moment too long hovering by the door.
Flustered, I turned around. “N-n-no, not at all! So your reason for staying overnight isn’t because you have a night shift?”
“No, I’ve finished my work for the day.”
“Glad to hear it. And...this...is allowed?”
Despite my euphemistic way of phrasing the question, he understood what I meant. With a hint of embarrassment on his face, he chuckled and said, “It’s outside of working hours for both of us, and we’re married, so there’s no reason anyone should object. Just in case, though, I did get permission.”
“You told someone about it? Who!?”
“The head housemaid. She’s the one with the highest level of responsibility for the female staff’s living quarters. Ladies-in-waiting are treated somewhat separately, but I didn’t feel as though it was a matter to bring up with Her Majesty.”
“Goodness, no.”
I swear, what is going on? Someone else already knew that Lord Simeon would be staying the night with me? That’s too embarrassing for words! Though admittedly, I doubt anyone with a title like “head housemaid” is going to start gossiping about it.
I’d read about cases like this in a book before. In a faraway eastern land, there’s apparently a form of marriage where the husband doesn’t live with his wife, but merely goes to visit her. Even if she’s serving in the imperial court, at night the husband is permitted to see her and stay the night. I’d found it to be rather a surprising custom, and had never expected to experience it myself.
What? But it’s so sudden! I don’t feel ready!
I was glad I’d taken a bath and left my work clothes behind. Joanna had also neatly combed my hair, and I’d even applied a skincare treatment. Still, if I’d known this was going to happen, I’d at least have wanted to use soap with a nicer scent.
Watching me fidget, Lord Simeon asked quizzically, “What are you doing?”
He was treating this scenario with so little concern that it seemed ridiculous for me alone to have lost my presence of mind. Honestly, do you have to look so relaxed about this?
I came back and sat down on the bed. “You could have told me you were coming.”
“It was a spur of the moment idea. I merely thought it would be better for us to be together tonight.” As he spoke quietly, he put down the cup. The eyes that had seemed so terribly cold during the day now gazed at me kindly.
So he hasn’t forgotten about earlier. He didn’t intend to push me away like that and then resolutely act as though nothing was wrong. The joyful realization that he hadn’t developed contempt for me, that he did still care, made my heart grow light.
“Did the queen say anything about you abandoning your post?”
“No,” I replied after a pause.
“How about the other ladies-in-waiting?”
“No, no one said a word.”
Lord Simeon nodded. “Indeed, I suppose they wouldn’t.”
Seeing the complete lack of surprise on his face, it dawned on me. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew, even though I’m officially a lady-in-waiting, I’m being treated more like a guest, so I wouldn’t be chastised.”
“Yes. Her Majesty said as much from the start, so no one was likely to complain about you abandoning your post. I imagine you haven’t been given any important work to do, either. Is that right?”
“It is,” I admitted reluctantly.
Indeed, I’d only been asked to help with trivial errands and little bits of tidying up—nothing beyond that. Though I’d rushed back to the queen’s chambers, there hadn’t exactly been piles of work waiting for me.
“If you knew that, why were you so stern in insisting that I return to work?”
“To put it simply, because it’s your duty.” He stood from his chair and walked over to me. “Even if it’s only a pretext, you’re still serving as a lady-in-waiting. Are you so unwilling to commit to the mindset and behavior required of such a role?”
“Well, no, but...”
It wasn’t that I couldn’t accept it. Regardless of how the queen saw my position, I didn’t think it would be commendable to behave too irresponsibly. Only, I hadn’t merely been dilly-dallying earlier. No matter how hard I thought about it, that feeling remained. Of course the specifics of my behavior had been a mistake; I should have gotten permission from the queen before going, and I shouldn’t have tried to make excuses for my negligence. If he’d just lectured me about all that, I wouldn’t have been so bothered by it. However, his attitude had been so cruel that I genuinely thought I’d lost his favor.
Lord Simeon took a light breath and sat down beside me. He drew in close enough that we were touching and took the hand I’d left lying on the bed. His gentle warmth surrounded me, making it abundantly clear that he wasn’t upset with me.
“How do you feel about the fact that you weren’t disciplined? Are you happy about it? Do you see it purely as a good thing?”
“On the contrary. It makes me feel quite uncomfortable. It’s not only that no one told me off, but that I wasn’t asked anything about Julianne, either. Perhaps they couldn’t talk about it during work, but I couldn’t help finding the situation very awkward indeed.”
When I gave voice to the doubts I’d been harboring all afternoon, Lord Simeon smiled, somehow satisfied. He lifted up my hand and kissed it.
“I see you understand. After all, you’re neither an irresponsible person nor a superficial one who cares only about having special privileges. You’re a person of sound mind and honorable intentions, able to admit your own faults. You often act rashly, which is a flaw, certainly, but once you’ve calmed down, you’re able to discern what you’ve done wrong. The reason I spoke to you that way is because I firmly believed that.”
Though he admonished me, his voice was as soft as a loving caress.
“For noblewomen, who don’t really need to work, a position at the palace is often no more to them than a feather in their cap, or perhaps a necessary evil with some other goal in mind—etiquette training, forming connections, and so on. There aren’t many for whom the job itself is the goal. They arrive with the foreknowledge that they won’t work here for long before quitting. For those ladies, work is, to put it less than flatteringly, a stepping stone and nothing more. They have no desire to carry out their duties with any real care or sense of duty.”
“I can see how that might be the case.”
“The queen and her ladies-in-waiting see you as someone along those lines. It’s nothing to do with you in particular. They’re aware of the circumstances and have built up a certain degree of tolerance. However, I’d like it if you didn’t take advantage of this and use it as an excuse to shirk your duties. My preference would be for you to have the sense of responsibility that one should have in such an important position. Even if it’s temporary and no more than a pretext, you’ve still been given this title, and I want you to endeavor to live up to it. That’s the mindset with which I spoke to you earlier.”
His striking light blue eyes looked at me from only a short distance away. These words, all about not being swayed by the fickle currents of the world around, were a natural fit for the overly serious Lord Simeon.
His kind tone and gaze made me comfortable pleading my case. “It’s fair enough for you to rebuke me, I only wish you hadn’t done it in quite such a scary manner. I thought you’d started to hate me.”
With a chuckle, Lord Simeon replied, “If I hadn’t gone that far, would you have listened? There are times when you have such momentum that it can be difficult to hold back. I’m convinced that if I’d been more moderate, I wouldn’t have been able to stop you. In order to cool your head quickly and make you return to work, I had no choice but to be severe.”
I pouted just a little. “Am I truly that unreasonable?”
He put an arm around my shoulders. I clung entreatingly to the large body of the man I’d cherished for such a long time now, and he lovingly embraced me in return, soothing me. “I know that you’ll always listen if I explain properly. However, in that moment, there wasn’t time for a long discussion. I admit that I was a little too unkind, but I thought that once you’d gathered your thoughts and reflected on it, you’d understand.”
He kept emphasizing that I was able to understand, that I could listen and be reasonable. It occurred to me that this was the most important part. Other people wouldn’t bother telling me what I’d done wrong. It was easier just to allow it and let it pass. That wasn’t so much tolerance as pure indifference. In a world where no one else demanded anything of me, and simply assumed I wouldn’t care to learn, Lord Simeon alone went to the trouble of pointing out the little things. That was an acknowledgment on his part that this was worth it—that I was worth the effort.
He didn’t hate me at all. In fact, he cared about me and respected me more than anyone else.
“I’m sorry.”
I felt bad that I’d doubted his love even for a moment. After I apologized, he delivered another kiss, this time a soft peck on my lips. He smiled at me from so close that our noses and glasses touched.
“I will say, I’m quite sure that if anyone else had heard, they’d have laughed at me for being so stuffy. Still, by the end of all this, I don’t want you to be deemed incapable and unworthy of esteem. You are neither arrogant nor foolish, and I want others to acknowledge that. I wanted you to behave in a way that would make them see. Perhaps I was being selfish.”
I quickly shook my head. “Not at all.” There couldn’t be many people who would say a thing like that. Lord Simeon’s sternness was always underpinned by affection and compassion. That was why all his subordinates adored him, and I shouldn’t have forgotten it either.
“Flying free is your nature, of course. As long as it’s not dangerous, I want you to be able to do whatever you like. However, especially in light of the situation that developed today, you need a particular kind of awareness and to behave appropriately. You understand that, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“During working hours, please take your duties seriously. Even when you see me, keep in mind that this is our workplace and we’re both on the job, so we should avoid any personal interactions. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean we should act as though we have special privileges.”
“Understood.”
“Trust and a good reputation are not easy to earn, and being in a respected position isn’t enough for them to be handed to you on a plate. However, it’s far from a waste of time. One day, those will be assets you can rely on. Think of this as a step toward that.”
“All right.”
I responded with a nod to each of his points, and then he nodded as well, appearing rather satisfied. I suppose I have a shining example right in front of me. His actions over the years have earned him a great deal of respect, so I should try to follow in his footsteps. As his wife, I can’t be an embarrassment to him. Measuring up in this regard is far more important than the fact that we’re mismatched in terms of looks.
Lord Simeon removed his glasses and then smoothly took mine off. While still supporting me firmly with an arm around my back, he began to push me down onto the bed. His lips came toward mine again, surely about to descend on me very passionately this time. The sensation I yearned for was so close at hand, but with some effort, I pulled my mind back into the realm of reason.
“Wait. Please.”
I raised my hand and put it in the way. Goodness, he not only took a bath before coming, but shaved as well. Although his face tended to be slightly prickly at night, the sensation that met my hand now was silky smooth. Maybe he was more nervous about coming here than he appeared.
His gaze spoke of deep dissatisfaction. I was sorry to be ruining the moment when we’d both so longed for it, but I couldn’t give in. Not yet.
“When you arrived, I was about to go to Julianne’s room. I don’t know if she’s been made to sleep in the same room as Nadia, but if so, that would surely be unbearable. I was thinking about bringing her here, if possible.”
Lord Simeon heaved a heavy sigh and sat up.
“Is that overstepping my bounds as well?” I asked.
“No, but I’ve already had Julianne moved to another room. You needn’t worry about it.”
“Oh, I see.” So she wouldn’t have to face Nadia tonight. That was reassuring, but it still wasn’t enough. “Even so, I’d like to go and see how she’s doing. What room is she in?”
“I understand the impulse, but I can’t allow you to see her right now. She’s confined to her room under guard.” To my surprise, the stern tone returned, as though the sweet atmosphere from moments ago had been a mirage.
I started to tremble. “What? But...why? Julianne didn’t do anything wrong. Did you examine the tea? Was there really something in it?”
“Calm down a moment, please. I’ll explain everything.”
He slipped past me, stood up from the bed and started untying his military boots. It occurs to me that he was about to get into bed in his uniform. Is that really not a problem? Admittedly, I’m sure he’d have ended up stripping it off one way or another... Ahem.
“What happened, then? Tell me.”
“To start with the most crucial detail, Nadia’s accusation wasn’t entirely fabricated. Arsenic was detected in the tea.”
“Arsenic?”
The name alone was bone-chilling. This substance was so famous that it was practically synonymous with poisoning. And that was in the tea? I can’t believe it. It wasn’t Julianne, I know it. She of all people would never do such a thing!
“Why? How? What did Julianne say? Surely she didn’t know anything about it.”
“Again, if you’ll calm down, I can tell you. Everything’s all right.”
He lightly clapped me on the shoulder and climbed onto the bed again. Sitting with his legs stretched out, he lifted me onto his lap, where he gently embraced me and stroked my head and back over and over.
“Miss Julianne’s statement is that she made the tea normally. Nadia came in after that and started hounding her, asking her what she’d put in it, and then, before she knew it, Nadia took the pot from her hands and started all the commotion we saw.”
His words made me pat my chest in relief. Of course that’s what happened. There’s no way she would try to poison anyone. “I’m glad that’s what she said in the end, but I wish she’d said it at the time. Why did she stay silent when accusations were flying?”
“She was being prudent. If there really was a harmful substance in the tea, she didn’t want to carelessly deny that before knowing for sure. If anyone had drunk any, there would have been no going back. Also, His Highness was there, and so were you, of course. If she’d stated that she hadn’t done anything, both of you would surely have stood up for her. She didn’t want that, however, so she remained quiet instead. This was the correct choice. Her reasoned caution meant the worst possible outcome was avoided.”
Ah, I see! It made sense to me now, and I felt a sense of pride. Prudent to the end—that’s the Julianne I know.
This was no doubt the reason she hadn’t looked at His Highness even once. If she’d turned to him with anxiety in her eyes, he would have been compelled to come to her defense. However, that could have led to tragedy. He might have drunk the tea to try and prove it was safe. Even if he hadn’t, he would have added an element of bias to the proceedings that would have made it impossible to investigate impartially. She hadn’t wanted His Highness to put himself in such a situation, so she had stayed silent, despite knowing that heavy suspicion would be cast upon her.
You see, Your Majesty? That’s how incredible she is. When faced with a terrible accusation, the normal response would be to fervently deny it, but she didn’t succumb to that. It takes a special kind of person to stay levelheaded and make a split-second decision.
This was exactly what I’d wanted the queen to learn about her.
“Why is she still confined to her room, then? Is Julianne still a suspect?”
